https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Jul 2026 02:47:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-477180 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 08:21:06 +0000 purrpletulips 477180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Lemon-Lime: yep, we do the Dave Ramsey envelope method. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476818 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:41:34 +0000 mrsmate 476818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that you need to get used to the "our money" way of thinking. DH and I've had a joint account since we got engaged and moved in together (I worked until I got laid off then had a baby, now I SAH). We didn't make enough $ to make it worthwhile to maintain separate accounts! We went from some lean years in our 20s to saving up for our 2nd rental property in our 30s. I know this is possible not bc DH makes a ton of $ but bc I run this household like a job. We're a team. I value my work highly and so should every SAHM out there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476802 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:37:13 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 476802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@purrpletulips: Your method sounds so similiar to ours. We budget/ earmark where all of our money goes and pay ourselves, so to speak. DH is a huge fan of Dave Ramsey' envelope method and using cash to stay within a household budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476788 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:31:45 +0000 Mrs. Pen 476788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we got married we immediately got one joint account. In our pre-marital counseling, that was what the pastor told us to do - since finances are generally such an issue for married couples. We were both working FT at the time - so it made the transition to me being a SAHM much easier, it was always <i>our</i>. I do think we would have faced the same thought-tendencies as you had we waited to do it as well... I do agree it's crucial to start thinking "ours" vs "yours, mine". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476778 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:27:49 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 476778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We earn pretty much the same. We have separate accounts, just because we were too lazy to put everything together. We simply split bill paying responsibility and doing it this way the money really does feel like its coming from one pot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476737 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:09:14 +0000 heffalump 476737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a sahm and we have one joint account. We share a credit card and I can just go out and spend what I need to. I don't have to ask first, its my money too. I'm working my tushy off at home raising our baby and keeping our house in order. I'm saving us a ton of money by not sending lo to day care. I don't feel at all guilty about spending the money dh makes working, because I'm working too. Its just not a paying job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476520 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:30:03 +0000 Weagle 476520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've always had one account and considered the money "ours," not his or mine. We decided before we were married that I would be a SAHM when the kiddos came along, so we started off our marriage just living on his salary and saved all of mine. It was super helpful because we didn't have to change our lifestyle once I quit working and LO came along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476516 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:26:13 +0000 aprk 476516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am planning on being a SAHM (job ends this month, LO is due in March) and we realigned our finances a long time before getting pregnant to "practice" living on one salary. At this point, we have one bills account that every monthly expense comes out of, my husband and I each have checking accounts (he deposits into mine and I take care of budgeting and paying for food and household stuff) and we have a savings account. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476498 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:15:06 +0000 HLK208 476498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started out with two accounts, although I had a debit card to his account and he didn't to mine. Finally, my account had nothing after I stopped working and we had a joint account. It doesn't feel like his money, since he couldn't work without me taking care of the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476493 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:11:03 +0000 littlecasita1122 476493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a SAHM for 4 months until I started working part-time again, but we have the same set-up still since any money I bring in is going directly to our savings account now. We have one joint checking account that my husband's paychecks are deposited in every month. Credit card, bills, groceries, car loans, mortgage, student loans, etc are taken out of that account. We both have a separate checking account that a certain amount gets deposited into every month - we use these accounts for splurge items or non-house related stuff. </p> <p>It was hard for me to adjust to not bringing $ into the joint account, but after awhile I got used to it. I think the weirdest thing is when I bought my husband a birthday gift - technically he bought it for himself but it is true how you have to think of it as "our" money! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476197 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 17:16:56 +0000 StbHisMrs 476197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: We're going to be in the same situation here soon, I don't make enough money to cover 2 lo's in daycare full time so it's pointless for me to continue working after I deliver. We have separate accounts, I don't like his bank and his credit is messed up from his divorce so my credit union won't put him on my account. It'd be so much easier to have a joint account, but I won't leave my CU. As of right now the company he works for lets him deposit a percentage of his check into my account, I get 75% and he gets 25%. He makes sure he has enough to pay child support and some "fun money" and I pay all the other bills. We are starting a budgeting program this month to get us in line for when I'm not bringing home a paycheck anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476160 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 17:04:51 +0000 Foodnerd81 476160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I like the idea of having equal amounts deposited into separate accounts. But mostly I know I have to get over the mine/his vs our feeling. It's just so weird! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476113 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:44:44 +0000 hilsy85 476113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm now a SAHM and all our finances are combined; they were combined before as well. I agree with @tororojo: and @daniellemybelle: that you need to start thinking of it as "our money" vs mine and yours. It was an adjustment for me, as DH always made more than I did, and I felt guilty spending "his" money on frivolous stuff for myself. But he never referred to the money as his, it was always ours, and never made me feel guilty or like I needed to ask his permission. I think if you're both responsible with money and not crazy spenders, then it's a pretty easy transition. I never "ask" to buy something, as I know what we can afford and what I feel comfortable spending. I can't imagine having separate accounts--for me, I don't really get the purpose, since again, it's not like I need to ask permission for personal purchases, and anything larger would be something we would likely purchase together (eg I'm not likely to buy a $1000 television on my own or something). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476090 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:39:28 +0000 daniellemybelle 476090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not in this situation, but I think if you are going to be a SAHM, you are going to have to get used to the idea of "our" money, not "yours" and "mine." I know it's hard! DH &amp; I share all our money and it was an adjustment, but now I can't imagine another way.</p> <p>One way to feel autonomous would be to deposit all your income (assume it would be just from your DH's paycheck) into your joint account, and then move equal, small amounts into your individual accounts for "spending money" so you don't feel like you are watching each other's every move. You could also do this with credit cards.</p> <p>I've also actually heard of a couple, I can't remember where, maybe here, that agreed on a "salary" for the SAHM that the dad would pay from his income. Being a full-time caretaker is a job - if you weren't doing it, you'd pay someone else to! It's honestly just symbolic but if it helps you wrap your head around it, whatever works! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-476036 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:23:44 +0000 JerricaBenton 476036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worked before I quit to help my husband with his business a few years ago. I kept my bank account and my credit card, mainly because if I'm buying him a gift I don't like him to see it and my husband said he wanted me to feel like I had my 'own' money too. I mainly use cash or our joint credit card account but I use my old one every once in a while and just put cash into my personal bank account to pay the bill. I guess it's kind of a pain so it may not last forever but it works for now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-475974 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:01:42 +0000 purrpletulips 475974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Although neither of us are SAH, we have a joint account and very structured budget with every incoming dollar assigned somewhere. If I go to the grocery store as long as I stay within that budget category no need to discuss; if I need to go outside of it then we discuss first. Each get an "allowance" for our own things. In your case, since you will likely want to do things with your LO (like zoo/museum memberships) you would probably want to work that into your overall budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-475973 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:01:41 +0000 LindsayInNY 475973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a SAHM but DH and I have had one joint account since before we were even married. I know we're the exception to the norm though. We have similar spending habits (or rather saving) so it's never been an issue. I deal with all our money - paying and scheduling bills, etc. We have separate credit cards but pay them off each month from the joint account so if I ever wanted to keep something secret (usually just gifts, sometimes Dunkin Donuts coffee, LOL), I use my credit card! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-475968 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:00:24 +0000 tororojo 475968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have one bank account that all our money goes into, and even though DH makes a little more it is all considered 100% OUR money--what's his is mine, what's mine is his. I will stop working in exactly one month and at that point we'll still use the same bank account, it just won't have nearly as much in it...eeek! My mom didn't work when I was young and my parents were very clear that their money belonged to both of them--just because my dad brought home a paycheck didn't mean it was more his money, and I'm pretty sure being a SAHM was even more work for my mom! I think the easiest option is to have everything in one account, and our situation is similar to yours--still renting but no debt, just monthly expenses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-475966 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:59:49 +0000 Mrs. Train 475966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just have joint accounts. It just seemed like separate ones was too much work to coordinate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-475959 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:55:52 +0000 Bao 475959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have separate accounts, but we don't contribute to them. Everything goes into our joint account. I worked up until I was 10 weeks pregnant, and since then, DH has just put all the money into our joint account. Since I am more organized, I make sure all the bills get paid. We are on a tight budget, so if one of us wants to buy something we ask the other how we are doing financially and if it would be ok. Not that we NEED to ask, but I feel like I should ask DH before I buy a new shirt, since its his money. He always ends up saying: "You know our financial situation better, so whatever you think." I guess just keeping the communication open about it is what makes it work for us. We share everything so it's "ours" anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-475946 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:51:30 +0000 JoJoGirl 475946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: We also have all separate finances and one joint account, and contribute to the joint based on our salaries. Usually 1/3 / 2/3 since DH makes exactly twice what I do. We calculate our monthly expenses (mortgage, insurance, utilities, groceries, entertainment, etc) and divide it that way, then when the cc bill comes if we owe more, we also divide it that way. If I go back to work PT, we'll readjust based on the new proportion of our salaries. If I wasn't working at all, I'm not sure what we'd do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-and-finances#post-475926 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:47:41 +0000 Foodnerd81 475926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you worked before you became a SAHM (or even just took a big pay cut post baby), how did you transition your finances? </p> <p>For us, for a number of reasons, we still have largely separate finances with one joint account. We aren't opposed to just sharing everything, but haven't really figured out how to re-align once I'm a SAHM. I want to get it sorted out before the baby gets here so it's less of a transition. I just don't want to feel like I'm 'spending his money' all the time, or like he can use money for whatever and I should be really responsible with it or whatever. Note-- this is stemming from MY feelings, he has never acted like that's how it would be. </p> <p>So, just curious how others do it, if you don't mind saying. Just one joint account for everything? Small personal accounts and mostly joint? Something else?</p> <p>ETA: We don't own a home yet and just have one car with no payments, no debts, so all our fixed expenses are easy things like rent, electric. </p>