https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 21:57:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-240360 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:09:45 +0000 mrs. wagon 240360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't remember how bad I felt. I don't think I felt that bad, but I'm much much happier as a working mom now. Plus I had several part time jobs in the second half of my SAHM days. I think I felt weirder about not having a paycheck than not contributing financially to the household, if that makes any sense. It was the first time I didn't have a steady paycheck since high school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-240334 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 21:44:20 +0000 HLK208 240334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have felt so bad lately that I'm not making any money. But for my own reasons, as in I feel like I don't have my own money to spend. I don't have my own car, I don't go shopping for myself and I take care of 2 LO's, my husband and our house so we can't really afford for me to go to work yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-240326 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 21:36:42 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 240326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I think you are worth a LEAST what it would cost for daycare. :) but clearly being a SAHM money can't compare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-240321 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 21:33:09 +0000 Mrs. Train 240321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel guilty but I also don't have a lot of extras. I get my hair cut once a year, haven't had a pedicure in 3 years, and rarely buy myself clothes. Basically any money I spend is on family things for the kids. I also have four kids that are at home with me. My oldest is 3.5 and just about to start pre school. So day care for four would not have been covered by my salary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-240141 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 17:55:35 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 240141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel bad at all because what I do at home is worth more than any money could pay. I run our household and take care of our home and am growing our child in me. When our child comes and all others to follow him, I'll be raising them too. (This is not to say i'll never work because I will in between kids somewhere).</p> <p>That being said: I truly love, respect and appreciate my husband for everything he does for us and none of it goes forgotten. I don't feel bad when I spend money on myself though---we both deserve to spend money on ourselves and enjoy our life;) He works to provide me with it and I'll take it!</p> <p>Ask my husband if he'd trade jobs with me: The answer is a big fat no! He loves what he does and he loves that he can come home to a well-taken care of home and soon to be baby. That's how he was raised though so he's all for it. ***ETA: not saying working moms can't take care of the home, because they can. My mom always worked because she loved it. And we were never neglected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237785 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 09:57:21 +0000 eeh 237785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I noticed a lot of you said you would/do feel bad because you spend more money. Is that more money on you or just more money in general? I definitely spend the vast majority of the money spent in our house but I'm buying things like groceries, toilet paper, paying the electric bill, cell phones, etc. So even though I spend way more money and more frequently than my husband, it's money that is spent to run our household.</p> <p>That being said...I still don't feel guilty about the money I spend on myself (getting my hair done, buying a new shirt, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237765 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 09:48:39 +0000 Andrea 237765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it also depends on your earning potential. We pay for daycare but I still make many times what daycare costs so it makes sense for me to work just purely in terms of finances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237751 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 09:43:23 +0000 regberadaisy 237751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: I totally agree that SAHM is a job!<br /> But I just would feel guilty. I work now outside of the home and I still feel guilty buying stuff! He does too! It's just how we are. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237746 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 09:41:46 +0000 heffalump 237746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: But being a SAHM, I feel like I AM working, I just don't get a paycheck. I work just as hard, if not harder, as DH and I do deserve to buy myself things once in a while. I don't think it would be fair that DH gets to buy things but I don't just because he has a paying job. It's not like I just sit at home laying on the couch all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237601 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 08:54:42 +0000 mrsjyw 237601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DH helped me during my 4 months jobless stint a few years back (while dating) I felt horrible.</p> <p>With LOs and the way we think of our finances now, I wouldn't if we made the joint decision that his sole income would work for our family.</p> <p>Thankfully, I enjoy working and we can't give up my paychecks; so it works out for us both financially and me - mentally/emotionally that I will be able to contribute on this aspect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237583 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 08:48:46 +0000 Tidybee 237583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even though my husband wants me to be a SAHM, I know I would feel guilty since I am the bigger spender. I'm sure once LO is here, I'd feel differently and that I was working harder than I do now at my job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237575 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 08:45:45 +0000 regberadaisy 237575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: that's just what I was going to say! You are contributing by saving daycare costs!</p> <p>But, I think *I* would feel bad? Especially if I bought non essentials! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237570 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 08:45:02 +0000 polkadots 237570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I often feel bad about, therefore we stay home a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237564 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 08:42:21 +0000 hilsy85 237564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really actually...I did last summer, when I was unemployed and looking for work. I felt a lot of pressure to find a job and contribute. But now, I really feel kind of relaxed about the whole thing...I think it helps that I feel like I'm doing something (growing a baby!) and once LO is here, I will definitely have my hands full. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237392 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 06:28:19 +0000 heffalump 237392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I'm saving us tons of money by not having to put LO in daycare. I very rarely spend money anyway, whether I'm working or not. And I'm contributing a ton by raising our child, that's a full time job and DH knows it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-237362 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 04:57:05 +0000 looch 237362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes I do. Not because I spend more that what I should be, but because the entire burden of the family is placed on my husband's shoulders. I want to go back to work eventually, just doing something I want to do rather than doing it for the money. Easier said than done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-236633 Thu, 26 Jul 2012 18:55:36 +0000 Andrea 236633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would feel so bad. I felt bad when I lost my job and was on maternity leave so I was taking care of DD but not making anything. I just have to work and contribute $$ or else I feel bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-236608 Thu, 26 Jul 2012 18:39:26 +0000 eeh 236608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I don't feel bad at all. I contribute to the household in other ways. I don't feel bad spending money either.</p> <p>ETA: Part of why I don't feel bad is because I know that my entire pay check would go to childcare otherwise. It's not really a financial trade off for me to stay home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-236604 Thu, 26 Jul 2012 18:37:58 +0000 MamaMoose 236604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As long as it was a decision we made together and we both were 100% in agreement about me staying home I wouldn't feel bad at all. And definitely not about spending money! Even if you aren't earning money, just think about how much money you are saving the family in child are costs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-feel-bad-that-youre-not-contributing-financially#post-236558 Thu, 26 Jul 2012 18:23:53 +0000 chopsuey 236558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt bad early on, especially when I used to buy stuff.<br /> But now I don't at all. :D haha. </p> <p>DH does what he does best--provides for this fam. And I'm doing my best raising our LO and growing baby #2 in me! </p>