https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 02 Jun 2026 00:32:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273859 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 16:54:02 +0000 JennyD 273859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've been managing the baby, housework and work ourselves OK for the first bit. But some days it's chaotic and messy. Those days make me crazy. It's not fun to chase the baby until she goes to bed and then spend your after-bedtime hours folding laundry and doing dishes. My husband has been reliably pitching in with the dishes since we got into a bit of a fight a few weeks ago (clearly I won), but most days it's still insane. When we're both back in the office and baby is in daycare, we will likely pay his sister to come once a week and clean for us. I can't keep up, and when we're both working 40 hours a week from the office (as opposed to from home, like we are now), I don't want to spend the few hours we'll have at night cleaning. Not every night, anyhow ;)</p> <p>Don't feel bad. I'm glad to hear there are lots mothers who have help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273736 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 15:29:00 +0000 bpcmarj 273736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have help, but my 14 year old sister came and stayed for nearly a month in July. That was wonderful. She could play with LO while I was cooking dinner or help take groceries in, etc. I think the biggest help I could have at this point would be a washer and dryer in our apartment! I try my best, but I am afraid I am not a great housewife. I have the Mom part down, it's just the other things! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273696 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 15:03:09 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 273696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No help! I just have one LO and keep a pretty clean house. Cleanliness and organization are important to my DH, so I try to keep the house perfect and he keeps both yards pristine. Oh, and I cook three meals a day and pack his lunches! Phew!</p> <p>I am not going to say it is easy because my LO NEVER (ever ever) sleeps longer than 40 minutes. Sometimes she will be awake for five hours straight. It definitely is exhausting. Hope she will learn to nap soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273473 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 13:14:29 +0000 cvbee 273473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@betsyboop: it makes SUCH a difference. And some babies are just 30-minute nappers. My friend tried for months to make her's nap longer and it just didn't happen. If I even have one day with the many 30 minute naps instead of 3 long naps, I am not a nice person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273420 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 12:40:50 +0000 betsyboop 273420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cvbee: I think a lot of my frustration comes from the fact that in general, my LO isn't a great napper. On average, she naps for 30 minutes at a time, which really isn't enough time to get anything done around the house. There were a couple days last week where she napped for 2 hours at a time, and I was in productivity HEAVEN! Then the next day she took about 6 25-minute naps. *sl#klk!sdfh </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273386 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 12:22:50 +0000 cvbee 273386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If LO weren't a good sleeper, I would need help FOR SURE....but when night time and nap times are good, and he generally is a very good sleeper, then I'm okay on my own. </p> <p>Having said that, if we had more money, I'd love a once-a-month deep clean housecleaner and someone to babysit for just a couple of hours during the day maybe every-other week so I could go for a massage or get my hair done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273312 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 11:37:14 +0000 mrs. wagon 273312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a SAHM for the first 18 months, and I went absolutely insane. You've hit the nail on the head-- I was snappy and always on edge, and on bad days I had regular breakdowns. We have no family nearby so no chance of any free help. At 18 months we sent Wagon Jr. to daycare 3 days a week and I worked those 3 days. I eventually ended up sending him all 5 days after the first 2 weeks, and having those 2 days a week all to myself. I took them as a reward for doing it without help the first 18 months! </p> <p>I eventually upped my work schedule to 4 days a week, and when I got pregnant with Lil Miss Wagon, I hired a cleaning crew to come once a month. Oh, and through all of this I almost never cooked. Once a week, or twice a week at the very most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-273035 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 07:52:38 +0000 erwoo 273035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@betsyboop: Aaw, thanks! It's always hardest with the first. I remember being so scared to go out with my oldest alone, but once I did it and did it again and again I became more comfortable. I also tried not to let the crying/fussing get to me. Most of the time he was just tired and needed to cry/fuss right before falling asleep. My second one is exactly the same. When he's tired and we're in the car he'll want me to be moving so he can fall asleep. If I stop at a red light before he falls asleep he'll fuss until I start driving again and then once he falls asleep we're all good! ;) Also, a little messiness in the house is A-OK! Just don't have people over for a little while. LOL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272957 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 03:00:40 +0000 looch 272957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it gets more complicated when the babies become toddlers, quite honestly. Last year, it would have been no issue to bring my stroller into the hair salon while I got a cut. This year, there's no way my son would even entertain sitting in his stroller that long. </p> <p>We're getting ready to move, and I have to deal with the packing, which is quite a racket and can't be done during naptime, so we're going to have to find a sitter to take my son out while we're doing the heavy duty packing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272949 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 00:54:44 +0000 MsMini 272949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 4 months into my year mat leave, I just have my 4 month old little guy, and I don't think I would want or need any help. Our families are 3 hours away, so I am on my own, but I manage to take care of things during naps, and on evenings and weekends. I don't really know what I would have someone do around here! </p> <p>Actually, I do send my dog out for grooming once a month ... so I do outsource that, but he is a 140 pound Newfoundland dog and he likes to make grooming a game (barking and bouncing around) so he would wake up my LO if I tried to groom during nap time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272929 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 23:26:53 +0000 lovehoneybee 272929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish! If we had room for it in the budget I would definitely have a cleaning lady come through once a week. Housework has definitely fallen behind since DS was born...especially on days like today when he won't nap and screams bloody murder if he isn't in my arms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272901 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 22:26:11 +0000 pinkcupcake 272901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No help, but it'd be nice sometimes :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272890 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 22:08:39 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 272890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a SAHM but DH is in medical school which means that even when he's home, he's up in his office studying, so I am ON, so to speak, all the time. We ended up getting a housekeeper that comes once a week because between taking care of LO, laundry, cooking, etc something had to give and that ended up being the house. When LO no.2 comes we might get a little more help for the first couple of months as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272876 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 21:50:23 +0000 betsyboop 272876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erwoo: thanks for the planning tip! I am in awe of moms who have more than one lo and manage to do it on their own. Amazing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272869 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 21:40:37 +0000 erwoo 272869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 3 y.o. and an almost 5-month-old and no help and no family nearby. My oldest will be in preschool 3x a week in the mornings and then comes home for a nap so I'll get some break soon. July and August has been pretty rough with both kids all the time. But I do really enjoy hanging out with them and I still get some adult interaction with a couple of my friends who are also SAHMs. Our house is generally pretty clean as my husband helps out with vacuuming, sweeping/swiffering, and doing the dishes. Without his help our house would be a disaster. </p> <p>When I had #2 I was desperately trying to find a part-time nanny but found that I haven't needed one. The key is to plan out your day the night before and have everything prepared if you're going out. That way, there's less of a mad dash out of the house to make appointments or lunch or play dates. </p> <p>Would I love to have help, yes! But for now I feel like I'm able to juggle it all. And it helps that my youngest isn't nursing 1.5 - 2 hours anymore. It's more like 3-5 hours now. Whew! Makes a huge difference! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272868 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 21:40:09 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 272868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would LOVE some help...after spending the majority of the night trying to get my house remotely clean, beyond little bits of spot cleaning, finally my DH suggested getting a cleaning lady to come once a month or so to do a deep clean - I almost died of joy inside because I've wanted that FOREVER - even before LO arrived. Our only help currently is a dog walker on really bad weather days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272856 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 21:16:28 +0000 SAHM0811 272856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a Mother's Helper come in about 9 hours a week. It allows me to get housework and errands done faster and more efficiently. When DD 1 starts full-time preschool, she'll still be around to help with DD 2 for a month or so. After that (she's going away to college), we'll probably just find a housekeeper to help out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272196 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 12:33:21 +0000 Honeybee 272196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids go to daycare two days a week so I can catch up on the household stuff and work on my schoolwork. It's a really good compromise for us, and it helps me stay on top of everything. On the days they're home, I still have to do some chores (laundry, dishes, etc...), but I get to spend a lot more time with them and save all my big cleaning/running around for the days they're at daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272106 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 11:21:01 +0000 betsyboop 272106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone, I am starting to feel less guilty about wanting to hire help. And after re-reading my original post with the grammatical errors, I clearly need a few extra hours of sleep! </p> <p>My husband thinks I'm crazy for having tried to do it all on my own anyway, and has encouraged me to hire help. It's not the money, but more the guilt I feel associated with the fact that I gave up my career with the intention of being a SAHM and thought I could do it all on my own. I think not having any family nearby makes things tough. Hmm, who ever thought I might WANT my in-laws to live a bit closer! My how times have changed :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272007 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 10:07:22 +0000 luckypenny 272007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a housekeeper once a month and my MIL watches DD three times a week while I go workout and run any errands (usually no more than 2-3 hrs at a time) I don't know what I'd do without them!</p> <p>I still do laundry, dishes, vacuuming, &amp; cooking daily but love having someone else clean the fridge and bathtub lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272005 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 10:06:39 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 272005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH works three 12 hour night shifts a week, so he's home a ton. He does dishes on his off days and does tons with the girls. And then is almost completely absent for 60 hours straight. Weekends are rough without a break but I love how much he's home. I would go crazy without him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-272002 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 10:03:05 +0000 Foodnerd81 272002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not there yet, but DH and I have discussed this already and think we probably will have some help-- either in the form of a babysitter for a few hours a week or a cleaning lady. More likely the cleaning lady, to be honest, since I'm not great at cleaning now! My gym also has nursery hours, so I am thinking, theoretically, that would be a good solution-- a half hour to an hour of me time will encourage me to work out, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271996 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:59:53 +0000 Mrs.B 271996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a SAHM to 3 kiddos, 1 daycare girl, and I am currently 33 weeks pregnant. I do not have help but some days wish I did! I keep a schedule of things I need to complete each day as if I were an employee. For example today Monday on my agenda was to deep clean kitchen, do laundry(this is an everyday thing), and vacuum which I also do daily. I also make sure the house is tidy every day. Keeping a schedule really helps me stay organized and generally I am all done doing everything on my list by 10am then I play with the kids and pick up after them all day because they are messy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271984 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:52:37 +0000 Mrs. Train 271984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a SAHM to four (although my oldest is starting preschool tomorrow). I don't have any hired help. I pretty much entertain the kid until they go to sleep then do my work. I sometimes feel some resentment when I am folding laundry at 11 at night but I try to remember they are only young for a short time. In a few short years the will all be in school. Then maybe we can have a clean house :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271973 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:45:07 +0000 heffalump 271973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do! I have a cleaning lady. My grandma wanted me to have her when my LO was born, and when my grandma passed away my mom kept paying for her. But honestly if my mom didn't pay we would, it's so worth it! I don't have time, plus I get really bad migraines so the cleaning chemicals kill my head. She comes every other week. </p> <p>I personally don't feel like I need any other help. My mom lives close and can take off if I need a babysitter for when I have doctors apts, etc. And when we found out I was pregnant with LO we moved to a house with a fenced in backyard so I can let the dog out easily when needed instead of having to walk him all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271971 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:44:53 +0000 duckduckkristen 271971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel ya! LO is almost 4 months and I've been looking into hiring a babysitter for one afternoon a week and occasional weekend evenings. DHs work schedule is not flexible at all so if I have an appt or something important to do where I can't bring LO, I have nobody to watch him. My problem is I think I would have a hard time trusting a stranger to watch LO, but I guess that just takes time. </p> <p>I also think once we have a second baby I'll want someone to come clean the house once a month. </p> <p>Even though we can afford help, I still feel guilty about hiring somebody, but with no family around to help, I'm pretty sure it's inevitable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271959 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:38:13 +0000 Mrs. Pen 271959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If i could afford it I definitely would!! If I worked I'd probably have a housecleaner 1x month too.</p> <p>I wish I could have childcare even just half a day during the week so I could take a break.</p> <p>There are actually a time I called my mom to come watch DS so I could clean my house lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271949 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:33:49 +0000 hilsy85 271949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could definitely see hiring a cleaning person to come in twice a month once LO is here and I'm a SAHM. I figure that while maybe I COULD clean, cook, parent, and spend time with DH, I'd be miserable and not enjoying any one thing if I try to do it all. So why not try to delegate if I can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271944 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:31:04 +0000 looch 271944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to, I had a sitter that came 4 hours a week. She started when LO was about 5 months old up until he was 19 months.</p> <p>At first, I asked for help, then I felt guilty about spending the money for it. My husband realized I needed the time and insisted we look for someone (both families are far away, so no family help possible).</p> <p>I say do it. It will help you, really, even just a few hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-help#post-271943 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:30:29 +0000 chopsuey 271943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have one LO and no help.<br /> Once #2 arrives I'm planning on hiring part time help and will probably have housekeepers come in on a monthly basis. </p>