https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 14:06:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-989374 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:15:25 +0000 looch 989374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really feel guilt so my response is probably a little unorthodox.</p> <p>I was at home for 2 years. I previously worked a demanding job with good pay (I actually made more than my husband because i was older and had longer working experience). But we saved my entire salary after we were married (total of 3 years before my son was born) just to see if we could make it on one income and we were able to do it. So when I stayed at home, it wasn't a huge adjustment.</p> <p>What I did find was that I shopped less for clothes for me but I spent MORE at the grocery store. I kind of used it as my pass to have more elaborate foods at home since our social life was non existant.</p> <p>I've recently gone back to work full time and the main reason isn't for instant gratification, it's to help ease the burden on my husband...I want him to be able to retire one of these days! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-989102 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 23:26:20 +0000 googly-eyes 989102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I should also say that with the daycares we would consider, and the jobs I'm interested in and qualified for, me working wouldn't really give us more fun money. Right now I'd be working for future earning potential. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-989101 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 23:24:25 +0000 googly-eyes 989101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. We view money as OUR money, and C is OUR baby. If I were working outside the home and DH stayed home I would hope he would feel the same way! Sorry about the caps, just emphasis. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-989098 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 23:19:34 +0000 wheres_c 989098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel a little guilt. I had a decent job before SAHM, and we were in a much better financial situation.<br /> Now FI has a new job, so we should be able to bring our head above water, but I do feel a little bad when I want to buy things for myself or take trips. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-988980 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 21:43:00 +0000 mrsbookworm 988980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel the same way @sorrycharlie does. We're still comfortable with my staying home, but we had a lot more "fun" money when worked. We both agree that we're doing what's best for our LO, but I do miss my monetary contribution to the household and I worry that when I'm ready to go back to work, I won't find a job that pays as well... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-988298 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 12:13:55 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 988298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, because what I'm doing (raising our kids) is a lot more important than any amount of money I could make right now (which honestly wouldn't be that much after childcare). I also feel like I save us a lot of money because I don't spend on gas, cook at home from scratch, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-988280 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 11:59:21 +0000 jmarionsmith 988280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: this is me 100% </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-988265 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 11:41:02 +0000 JerricaBenton 988265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Like PPs have said, I really believe my contribution to the household is valuable. If I wasn't able to do everything I do at home, my husband wouldn't be able to work as hard at making our business successful. I don't feel guilty about shopping for myself either. I talk to my husband first if I want something big but generally I don't feel like I need to ask if I can spend money. I guess it might be different if my husband wasn't on board with me staying home but it's important to both of us that I do and it definitely works for our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-988025 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 08:20:21 +0000 sorrycharlie 988025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yes, but not because I don't think it's "our" money. I'm totally fine with that part. I have guilt because we obviously could have a lot more money if I worked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-988016 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 08:09:39 +0000 loveisstrange 988016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I'd fully rather us be a dual-income household. I hate not having my own money and I hate feeling like I'm just at home spending his and I have to justify things to him. </p> <p>I may be still "contributing" but it's not the same, IMO. I don't think DH sees it as the same either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-988013 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 08:07:06 +0000 Andrea 988013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. Being a SAHM is a lot of work. And DH says that I am doing the most important job ever by raising our two daughters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987990 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 07:36:17 +0000 hilsy85 987990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, probably because my income before being a SAHM was much less important relative to DH's. So it's not like I was used to bringing in a lot of money and then transitioned to being a SAHM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987946 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 06:42:20 +0000 Bao 987946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I do a lot of work to keep us going as a family even though I don't get paid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987936 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 06:33:38 +0000 MamaBehr 987936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel guilty for spending "his" money, but I feel guilty spending money when I know I shouldn't. What I feel worse about is not bringing much income (I work about 5 hours a week, it isn't much a paycheck hahaha). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987918 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 05:48:56 +0000 Dandelion 987918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes...he's got a rough job and works really hard for everything we have. He enjoys providing for us, but I do wish I could at least WAH to bring in a little extra, so that I feel more comfortable buying things for myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987916 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 05:37:54 +0000 Pepper 987916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. My mom was going to watch DS while I went back to work, but since she is sick, there's no way she can watch him. We don't want to send him to daycare, so I will be staying at home. I'm glad to be able to spend so much time with him, but I am feeling guilty because I know DH feels a lot of pressure now that we will be only using his income. I don't make nearly as much as him, but I think with my income he felt less nervous. I feel guilty that he will be so stressed, but neither of us want to send him to daycare, so staying at home is the only option. Daycare just isn't worth it because it's so expensive, I wouldn't be bringing home enough that it would be worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987889 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 02:59:06 +0000 SweetMamaM 987889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We plan on me being a SAHM and while I can't deny that going down to one income is a little scary, we've had a couple of short stints when I've been between contracts and I know we can manage. Plus I figure that we'll be doing a lot less of the expensive socializing :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987877 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 01:59:33 +0000 Arden 987877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all. If we hired a trained and experienced nanny, maid, cook, and an accountant just to cover what I do on any given week, we'd be paying far more than what I would make in a regular job.</p> <p>I'm contributing. Just in a different way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987870 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 01:42:00 +0000 sandy 987870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LaughLines: like you, I made a good income before I had kids...and we planned for me to SAHM so we saved my income for a year to prepare living off of one income...and I did worry a little about what it was going to be like when I stopped contributing my income to our household. But now that I've a SAHM for almost 2 years, I don't have a lot of guilt. I work hard at being a SAHM and our quality of life is so much better bc I take care of a ton of stuff during the week...my husband absolutely loves that he doesn't have to worry about dinner or packing a lunch or running errands, cleaning, laundry, etc...yes, he still helps around the house, but he is very aware how much I'm contributing at home which does lessen how much he has to do at home. We can't even imagine how much it would cost to out LO in daycare as then also add all the other stuff you have to get done once you get home. He's been able to focus on his career and recently got a big promotion (now he makes more than we did together)...and I was so proud of him and he was like "WE did it..my success is our success...I could not have focused on work so much without all your hard work and support at home"...and I do feel like it was our achievement together. But like others said, I feel guilty about spending money on getting help around the house bc I feel like I should be able to take care of it being a SAHM...and it used to be easy when LO was talking 2-3 naps a day...but at one nap a day it's so hard to fit everything in... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987836 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 00:52:26 +0000 MamaJ 987836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes a little. Mostly when I buy stuff for myself. DH and I always discuss big purchases though. We did that when I was still working. I wouldn't spend a substantial amount without discussing it with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987830 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 00:43:47 +0000 MrsMccarthy 987830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do. I shouldn't because I work my ass to the bone, my husband would hate to have things reversed AND its better for my kids I think (in my case because I am happy with it but I totally understand moms who are happier to work or need to). I don't feel like money is mine anymore at all an it's definitely made me feel like I have a bit less of a say. Still worth it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987829 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 00:43:47 +0000 Ginabean3 987829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just started being a SAHM and I do feel a little guilty when I "fun" shop....but I do know that this is the best arrangement for our family right now and like @mrsmate said above, my DH appreciates me being at home because it makes our lives easier/better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987821 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 00:32:04 +0000 sunny 987821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup I totally feel guilty. I would love to hire a bit of help but I feel that being at home means that I should be doing all of the cleaning and cooking--even though I really should just concentrate on taking care of our LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987820 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 00:30:22 +0000 HLK208 987820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kind of. I mean, everything I do at home is more than fair. I do feel guilty when I spend money on myself though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987819 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 00:29:08 +0000 ALV91711 987819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No guilt in not bringing home the money but I do sometimes feel guilty if I want or buy something for myself that isn't a necessity. But I have to remember I do work hard taking care of our baby all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987818 Sun, 04 Aug 2013 00:25:09 +0000 joyjoy 987818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. We're a team, and as soon as we got married (even a bit before to a certain extent) everything became "ours". I think it helps that early on in our marriage the roles were sort of reversed when DH was starting his business. He made very little to nothing on some months, so I was the main breadwinner. Now I stay at home with DD, and he makes enough for both of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987703 Sat, 03 Aug 2013 21:55:57 +0000 artsyfartsy 987703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know we will function much better as a household and I will be much happier when I am a SAHM. Maybe that will help ease the guilt when I see it happen. But right now all I can think about is the financial stress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987699 Sat, 03 Aug 2013 21:54:54 +0000 betsyboop 987699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely feel guilty about money, especially when it comes to buying stuff for myself or paying for things that would make everyday life easier for me. DH earns enough so that we can live quite comfortably and encourages me to feel comfortable spending on what I think we should spend on because he trusts me, but I can't bring myself to hire a cleaning crew, dog walker, or babysitter so that I can go to the gym, which many of my sahm friends do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987692 Sat, 03 Aug 2013 21:50:23 +0000 immabeetoo 987692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. The work I do at home is important and a lot of the things I do save us money - make our own purees, cloth diaper, hang dry most clothes, etc. No guilt here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-do-you-have-money-guilt#post-987676 Sat, 03 Aug 2013 21:38:02 +0000 mrsmate 987676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, I have zero guilt. DH and I are a team. I know I make his life a lot easier/better by being a SAHM. He feels more strongly about me being home than I do!</p> <p>That said, I am mulling a return to work. Since becoming pregnant w/LO2 I've been thinking about worst case scenarios (ie, what would happen if something happened to DH). </p>