https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 11:35:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1780260 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 21:02:26 +0000 HTownMom 1780260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: I thought this was perfect for this discussion! At least for a laugh! <a href="http://theuglyvolvo.com/what-all-the-other-parents-are-doing-during-the-day/" rel="nofollow">http://theuglyvolvo.com/what-all-the-other-parents-are-doing-during-the-day/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1779653 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 17:17:13 +0000 HTownMom 1779653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have felt this way a lot this first year. The isolation and thoughts of not doing enough for LO while being at home. </p> <p>Just recently I've really tried to be more social. Here are some ideas.</p> <p>If you belong to the Y, then you can take two week swim classes and meet parents there since it's the same people for two weeks for 30 min. I would always show up a little early and talk to the other parents.</p> <p>Go to the children's museum (or some other kid activity) toddler area the same time every week and see if you start reconizing some parents and start up a conversation!</p> <p>I think the volunteering would be great as well. I volunteered as a writing mentor to high students going into college. It was only two hours every two weeks, but so stimulating. Also I volunteer with my undergrad college as a alum interviewer and Alumnae club hostess, so I plan various events and meet with high school seniors in the fall! Doing these things, even though not every week has really help keep me stimulated.</p> <p>Further, I've been doing some cleanses and diets with one of my friends across the country, and just the daily text messages from her has been helping! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778522 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:37:58 +0000 immabeetoo 1778522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You could also contact local homeschool groups who might know of kids that would benefit from volunteer tutoring! Or kids in the hospital? Ronald McDonald house? Trying to think of places you could take LO potentially and might need tutoring during the normal day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778518 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:36:49 +0000 immabeetoo 1778518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: have you ever looked at online tutoring or teaching? I think some of it you can do via email so whenever you have time. I did volunteer work for Girl Scouts from home (after working with them) writing program curriculum. Our library had a reading outreach program that a friend did with her kid- the library might be a great place to look. Or any kid nonprofit like a nature center might love to have your knowledge for programming planing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778506 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:33:19 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1778506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: I am definitely looking into volunteer stuff. Being a teacher there is a big need for volunteers in the schools or afterschool for tutoring, but since dh isn't home until 5 it doesn't work with our schedule. Any ideas?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778487 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:27:22 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1778487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Seattlemom: Not at all! Thank you so much! I need to check into some of these ideas :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778467 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:21:43 +0000 BelugaBean 1778467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt so isolated when LO was younger. And she was a tough baby who wanted to nurse all the time and only slept on me. It was hard and finally I couldn't deal with that so we sleep trained. But then I felt like it was just me a lot doing nothing while she slept. When she was around 9 months old, I worked up the courage to go to a play date with a local moms group. Now she's 2 years old and we're part of two groups. Getting out and getting interaction for both of us helps a lot. I try to get us out of the house at least a few times a week and then when there isn't a scheduled play date, sometimes we'll go to a store and wander or go to a park or something. It's definitely helped a lot though with how isolated I felt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778440 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:17:41 +0000 immabeetoo 1778440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: you need a hobby! I hear you on not relaxing at the playground- what I find most connecting is play dates in baby proofed homes. I'd highly recommend starting or finding moms groups. The more I get out the happier we are. I love staying at home and wish mine slept a ton during the day, ha!! </p> <p>Could you investigate volunteer opportunities from home that you could do during nap? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778403 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:07:52 +0000 lady grey 1778403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a part time SAHM, working two days outside of the home. LO goes to daycare one day a week, and then I work every Sunday and he stays home with DH. It sucks not having a full weekend all together as a family but its been amazing for LO and DH to have one day together on their own. </p> <p>So this has really been a perfect set up for us. I always knew I wanted to be home with LO most of the time, however going to work just two days a week gives me a chance to focus a little bit on my career and to be around other adults, etc. So- I would definitely recommend finding some very part time work (or even volunteer work) that you can do, it will be very refreshing! Maybe there is even some kind of volunteer work you can do from home during those long naps.</p> <p>For meeting mom's, we did a weekly new parent support group that lasted 12 weeks when the babies were tiny. (for Seattle Bee's the organization is called PEPs) We have still kept in touch with those families.</p> <p>I found a local co-op preschool system that has infant classes, which I attend with my babe once per week. I have meet a lot of other mom's that way. It doesn't run over the summer, but all the parents &amp; kids still get together once per week for play dates</p> <p>There are two Lactation nurse businesses that run breastfeeding support groups in Seattle, but they also have parent support groups. A friend of mine attended this weekly for a looong time and she met many friends that way.</p> <p>Does your town have stroller strides? Or some kind of outdoor group activity you can do with LO?</p> <p>What about Gymboree/Little Gym since he is so good with his gross motor skills? I'm sure if you attended a weekly class you could meet one or two moms there to hang with. In our town the communicty centers have open gym play time that is great for this and also a lot cheaper then paying for a class.</p> <p>Edit: I think that was the longest post I ever worte...sorry if its too much info!! haha :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1778257 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 10:34:49 +0000 looch 1778257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not a stay at home mom anymore, but I was for the first two years of my son's life. I will not lie, the first year was tough, because it was very difficult to get out of the house. I finally got my groove back when my son was around 18 months old and I found a drop in play group in my neighborhood.</p> <p>My kid is 3.5 years old and he still hasn't been to a story time or a library, so don't worry. It's just not something I assign a lot of value to for his interests. We just look at books at other times and that's fine too.</p> <p>The best thing I did though, was go to the municpal pool. I made a friend there and it was great (while we lived in that area). I kind of had to get over myself in terms of making the first move, how smarmy does that sound, lol. Once I did, it got easier and easier to put myself out there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777938 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 09:05:35 +0000 Ginabean3 1777938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved and I became a SAHM at the same time so I basically had to start over in the friend department. My LO is 17 months old. Do you like to exercise? I joined a group called Stroller Strides (part of the Fit4Mom franchise...they have them all over the country) and it was a lifesaver. Not only am I able to get outside with my LO but I've met tons of other moms and with LO's around the same age! We started when my daughter was 6 months old and we are still going strong. Plus, I've developed really good friendships with some of the women now and we hang out all the time outside of class. I love it! You can try looking into that....it's wonderful, it really is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777929 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 09:03:43 +0000 meredithNYC 1777929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: We were the same way with story time. My child was always the one running around the room/trying to escape and it was so embarrassing! For the most part I try to take her to places where she can run off some steam without being a terror/making me worry all the time about her running away/hurting herself/getting lost. </p> <p>As for the gym, do not feel guilty! You are entitled to a bit of time for yourself and it will definitely not harm your LO to get a bit of social time with others. Even if he's not talking/playing much with other kids, I still think it's a good thing to do for development. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777924 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 09:02:26 +0000 Weagle 1777924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I deal by getting out of the house and initiating/building friendships. Are there any local playgroups? Story time? I seriously couldn't have made it this far without my amazing friend group. Even if we didn't see each other for weeks, it was such a lifesaver to just have friends to email and discuss things. Many of my existing friends had kids around the same time as us, but I've made some excellent new ones since then at church/playground/etc. </p> <p>Also, I think netting up for playgroup in an open space is horrible. My kid is the one always running away, and it's just not fun for me. We try to stick to fairly controlled environments like fenced in playgrounds, people's houses, and CFA. The people that work at CFA know our playgroup's names and faces because we frequented there so much - especially in the winter. It's kid friendly, and the play space is impossible to fall out of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777907 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:59:21 +0000 JerricaBenton 1777907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do lots of classes with LO. As she gets older they're slightly less hands on for the moms and we can chat a bit. I try to get out most days. I chat a lot more with cashiers and baristas lol! In my experience most people want to chat while their kids are at the park. If all else fails and I just have to do something, we walk around the outdoor mall or target. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777901 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:58:48 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1777901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LaughLines: This is why I started blogging :) I haven't been able to string together coherent thoughts lately, so I haven't been doing much writing. I could probably find something else to do. I just wish I could find something meaningful...not just something to fill the time. I think I am putting too much pressure on myself to find the "perfect thing" so I don't actually start anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777891 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:57:10 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1777891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These are great ideas ladies, Thanks! &lt;3 </p> <p>We are a member of the YMCA here (I actually am employed there part time as a sub for the nursery, but took a few months off due to house construction and then first trimester hell). I actually worked there in the morning yesterday, which was great except it forced us to have to skip lo's morning nap and he was miserable the rest of the day. Hopefully I will be able to do that more once he is down to just one nap. </p> <p>I think LO has just been different from other kids. He started walking at 9 months and every since is ALL OVER THE PLACE! Storytime is miserable because he does NOT want to sit still, playgrounds are insane because he can climb and run but doesn't have the sense to slow down or be careful, so I have to watch him like a hawk. And while he is way ahead gross motor wise, he doesn't really have much interest in playing with other kids yet and isn't talking, so most of this is still for my benefit. </p> <p>I haven't been able to work out since I found out I was pregnant and got crazy sick, but maybe we will hit up the gym anyway today...he can play in the nursery and I can walk around the track or drink coffee in the locker room or something. I have been feeling guilty about doing that...like I should be spending time with him instead since he has been sleeping so much during the day. (the kid seriously naps 4-5 hours a day, and would sleep more than that if I didn't wake him up from his naps). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777876 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:54:33 +0000 LaughLines 1777876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a SAHM, but plan to be when my little one comes in March.</p> <p>Could you start doing hobbies/projects at home during nap time? Like renovating a room (painting walls, cabinets, general updates) - it is somewhat of a creative outlet with a tangible result that can be done slowly over time during naps. Or you could learn a new skill like sewing pillows or making Christmas ornaments and selling them on Etsy or something. I'm just throwing out random ideas, but it doesn't have to be something you have experience with or something you've done in the past. Between google and youtube, you can self-teach basically any skill. It might make you feel more accomplished and fill your time a bit </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777849 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:48:35 +0000 Mrs. Rabbit 1777849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Oh yes, the gym! I forgot I had a membership and started going again this week. It lets me burn off some steam AND my LO gets to play! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777845 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:47:16 +0000 photojane 1777845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are there any free activities you can take LO to? We do story time at the library. It's only 30 minutes, but then we spend another 30 minutes picking out books &amp; playing with the other kids. I usually talk to the other moms, and it's nice being around other people. Your city should offer some free programs too. There's always Gymboree, etc. too. Getting out and doing stuff with Sadie is what keeps me sane some days. Even if we go out to get lunch or just walk around Target - it's nice to be out around other people. </p> <p>I love having the connection of my small group of SAHM friends. Could you invite just one of your friends over for lunch and a play date at your house? That way it's less chaotic &amp; you can actually chat without worrying about your LO's stunts. The best way to build those relationships is just to spend time together! Doesn't have to be formal playgroups.</p> <p>Also, have you thought about volunteering? Maybe even just an hour a week. It shouldn't be too hard to find someone to watch your LO for that amount of time (maybe a Mother's Morning Out at a church). It will allow you to feel productive &amp; get adult interaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777843 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:46:57 +0000 Tanjowen 1777843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The isolation is tough. I don't make friends easily, and my good friends that had babies the same time as me moved an hour away, so I only saw them sporadically. I also felt it was a bit mind numbing at times, so you aren't alone.</p> <p>Things that have helped: at about 3 months I started working 2 days a week, which has been great. I also joined a local gym that offered daycare as part of the package - it gets me out of the house for an hour and give my LO time to interact with other children. I joined a local moms group, but to be honest most of their activities are for toddlers, so I haven't done much with them yet. I am also finding that the older my LO gets, the more we can interact and the more fun it is becoming - hope it gets better soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777839 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:45:48 +0000 Mrs. Rabbit 1777839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know that I'm in the same boat as you...or in a similar boat far away (because if we were in the same boat then we wouldn't be near as bored). (My sleep deprivation is making me talk crazy).</p> <p>Anyway, are there any mom groups in your area? I go to MOPS and I'm anxiously waiting for it to start again in August. The kids go to their own play area far way from the moms, and the moms get some adult time. I'm going to put in a real effort this time to make friends, because I desperately need other mom friends.</p> <p>I also looked around and found a play group at a local cafe. I met two girls there last week and I think we hit it off. There's also story time (but I haven't had luck meeting any moms at that). </p> <p>Like meredithNYC above said, we try to get out every day. Nap times (as you know, again) are really hindering us, but I absolutely have to be social and keep busy, especially while my husband is away. I'll go crazy if I don't. Then again, I"m kinda going crazy now that I am this busy...so maybe ignore everything I just said :) </p> <p>@meredithNYC: excellent advice. I REALLY need to start doing number 3 and asking for email/phone number. I need friends so, so much lately that I need to take advantage when i meet someone that I connect with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777836 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:44:58 +0000 imbali 1777836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>following! While I don't have the knowing anything at all, clean house, time to cook dinner and watch movies problem, I find myself stressing a LOT about not stimulating LO enough and that daycare would be better for her than staying home with me :bummed: We just moved countries a few months ago and I'm really battling with the culture difference and with the isolation. </p> <p>I spend whole days not talking to anyone but my 9 month old (who doesn't talk back obv) and it's pretty awful. I also feel guilty about being able to stay home but not really being sure if this is what is best for me or her - but also not wanting to be away from her WOH. Ugh, Idk. It's so hard. so that's why I'm following, long story short haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777818 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:39:51 +0000 meredithNYC 1777818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. I am a reluctant SAHM in that I basically didn't make enough money to make sending LO to daycare "worth it". It took me a long time to enjoy it, but I honestly do now (LO is 2)!</p> <p>I was like you in that my friends do not have kids yet. On top of that, we moved from NYC to the suburbs for my husband's job, so I had to start over friend-wise anyway. A couple of things that helped me:</p> <p>1) when LO went down to one nap per day, which just gave me way more flexibility.</p> <p>2) Joining the Junior League (pre-baby DEFINITELY not my style, but I love it) and meeting new friends - some of whom have children, others who don't. Basically, it made me feel good to make friends in a way that didn't necessarily have to do with my identity as a mom.</p> <p>3) When I would meet a mom at the park, just going for it and asking for her email. Believe me, this was hard for me! And honestly, I feel a connection w/ a mom at the park very rarely. But when I do I'm like, hey, I need friends and she probably does, too, so why not?</p> <p>4) I make myself get out of the house at least once every single day, whether it's to the park, the library, the beach, the children's museum, the indoor playground at the mall, Target, whatever. I just can't handle being stuck indoors w/ only LO.</p> <p>I hope this helps! If it's any consolation, I truly love being home with my daughter now and have gone from being like, "I can't wait to go back to work some day" to thinking, "oh, man, I really like this and it's going to be tough going back to the office." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777809 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:35:09 +0000 loveisstrange 1777809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, it never got better for me and I went back to work part time. No regrets. It really was the best thing for me to do, for myself. I was much more invested in the time I did get to spend with her once she wasn't around my every waking moment.</p> <p>Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-do-you-deal-with-isolation#post-1777802 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:32:50 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1777802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yall, i have been struggling. I thought by now this would be better, but after 16 months being at home the isolation is really getting to me.</p> <p>Basically, becoming a mom meant basically starting over as far as community goes. My best friends arent moms yet, and while we are still close it is hard to get together. Losing my coworkers has been hard...i was so used to having people around all the time, i didnt realize how hard it was going to be to be alone all the time. </p> <p>I have a couple acquaintences that are sahms that i see occasionally, but we haven't really become good friends yet. Its hard to get together because of different schedules, and we do get together i spend the entire time chasing my dare devil and dont even really get to chat with anyone because i am constantly making sure he isnt flinging himself off of a piece of playground equipment. </p> <p>I also feel pretty crappy around my friends who work full time..my kid sleeps a lot during the day still and i have a lot of time to read about whatever is going on developmentally. I also studied child development in college and have worked with kids all my life, so i have a pretty good working understanding of child behavior and usually have suggestions when friends ask for advice. but i always seem like i come off as a know it all. I dont mean to, and nobody has ever said anything to make me feel like they think that, but i worry about giving that impression. I have a pretty clean house and have time to cook dinner every day....i feel like that is part of my job and one of the benefits of being home. But i feel like i have to hide those things from others, as if it might make the feel like i "have it all together" and they "dont". </p> <p>Any suggestions? When does this get better? How did you find friends? Am i crazy that being a sahm is mind numbingly boring sometimes and not at all like i thout it was going to be? I know i am incredibly lucky to have the option to be home, and it makes me feel like crap that i am struggling so much when this is what i have always wanted to do. I feel like i am wasting so much time sitting on the couch watching netflix and browsing the internet while lo sleeps, and honestly I am going stir crazy. Does this get better or worse with a second kid? </p>