https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 01:25:28 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208881 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 13:17:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 2208881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I couldn't give a percent because it varies so much day to day. Now that it's nicer out we usually go outside before and after her nap so I'm interacting with her there (though also trying to have her play as independently as possible, because it's good for her and frankly it's good for me :) )</p> <p>Inside I let her lead. If she is coming over to me wanting to play or read, I usually do. If she is happily playing or exploring by herself, yay! </p> <p>However I can hardly get any chores done when she is awake. She can be happily playing by herself while I sit quietly, but as soon as I get up to empty the dishwasher or clean up or anything, she wants to be involved. So thugs she can help with (laundry) some I do while she sleeps or is strapped into the high chair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208787 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 12:15:13 +0000 Mae 2208787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on the day and what we need to do! I'd say maybe 20% of her awake time I spend doing stuff I have to do/chores like getting dressed/ready, doing dishes, cleaning up, doing laundry, etc. When I do that I just bring her into whatever room I'm in and let her run around. Most of that stuff isn't in our main play area so she is generally pretty entertained just exploring rooms we aren't in as much. Plus I open the blinds so she can look out the window, which she likes. And if she seems bored I give her some random non-toy (because those are always way more interesting than toys. Like I gave her some tupperware to run around with so I could make her lunch). We also spend probably 20% of her awake time running errands at least 3 days per week. </p> <p>The rest of the time we mostly just hang out in our main living space where all her toys are. I spend almost all of that time sitting on the floor with her. But she tends to wander around and play near-but-not-with-me most of the time. (Although if I tried to sit on the couch or be on the computer she gets upset lol). She wants me to be available to her but not actually playing with her a lot of the time. When she seems bored I get new toys out, or I get some books for her (but she isn't too into me actually reading to her right now. I try but she steals the book then wants to flip through it on her own). If she seems more bored I might try to really play WITH her more, like tickling her or chasing her around or getting out our play tunnel and running around it with her. But she's a little hard to play WITH right now. She's 1 :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208783 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 12:10:40 +0000 Bubbles 2208783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO (18mo) plays independently quite a lot. It's hard to give a percentage as our days vary so much - sometimes I also just sit and observe him while he plays, and only get involved if he invites it (he often doesn't). I don't feel guilty because I think it's really important for his development, and he would certainly let me know if he was lonely, needed something or just wanted to check in. He now loves to get involved with the housework so that's less of an issue, although it does take longer when he's helping! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208737 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:44:08 +0000 msplatypus 2208737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this post because I feel so guilty that I'm not interacting with lo all the time. I can't clean when she's sleeping because our apartment is so small, so I try to power through it when she's occupied playing. She's not fully mobile yet, so she gets grumpy when she can't move forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208731 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:37:55 +0000 looch 2208731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my son was small, I was always doing something with him, except when he was sleeping, which felt like never.</p> <p>I had a lot of guilt about it, I wish I didn't, but that is my personality so I tend not to apologize for it. I was also very aware of not being on the computer or on my phone. Don't be like me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208715 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:29:01 +0000 SweetiePie 2208715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: @Mrs. Champagne: my guy is fairly independent too. He doesn't like to sit or be held for too long, esp now that he is mobile. He just wants to explore so I've been letting him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208711 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:24:39 +0000 SweetiePie 2208711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: yes that's what we do too. We made barriers in our living room and cover things like the cable box so be really has about a 7ft x 7ft space to totally roam and play. I put stations around the area of toys and he is just pulling himself up on the couch so he loves to do that.</p> <p>Thanks all! </p> <p>He will definitely cry or fuss when he gets bored or wants me so I know he's good with it until that point and I'll (without rushing) go to him then. And we'll sit and play or snuggle.<br /> And yeah, of course the feeding and changing takes up a good bit of time too. </p> <p>It's mostly during the day between morning and afternoon nap that I let him be (so I'd say on and off for 2 of the 3 hours he's awake, but it's not like I'm ignoring him for 2 hours straight. Like I said, it's an apartment so he's almost always still in my line of vision and I'm talking to him while I fold or do dishes or whatever and I check in and sit for a bit). Morning I lay on the ground with him the whole time (1-1.5 hours) and afternoon we are usually out running errands or go to the park. Then I do let him play alone for another 30-45 mins while I prep dinner or do last minute tidying. </p> <p>And of course I worry that I don't have him playing with enough other kids either, he has play dates twice a week and no classes. </p> <p>MOM GUILT!!! It never ends! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208704 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:14:41 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2208704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: same</p> <p>When I try to play with my son he leaves and does something else. He spends most of the day wandering! Lol. He literally does not sit down ever. He is 15 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208699 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:12:39 +0000 lamariniere 2208699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WAH/SAH. I would say it's 50/50. I kind of make them play with toys on their own or they play together but I find that the thing we most often do together is read. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208698 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:12:05 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2208698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as long as you're responding when lo calls for you or fusses and check in, and it's not all day long (maybe 30-45 mins max at a time depending how old your lo is?) you're ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208697 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:12:04 +0000 Ra 2208697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son prefers to play independently and always has. I'd say he plays independently about 75% of the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208696 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:11:58 +0000 hilsy85 2208696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 2.5, there is a LOT more independent play.....I would say out of an hour long play period, he is playing by himself for maybe 35-40 minutes? But that might include me just sitting near him and not interacting/just watching him, as well as me doing dishes, laundry, etc. When he was younger, he hated being confined anywhere, so I would just save chores for when he was sleeping, or I would wear him. Now, he is actually also helpful with chores, so I try to involve him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208693 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:10:33 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2208693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't remember the % but when my lo was young enough to be in a "pen" (we actually just did more of a fenced in area of the living room so it was bigger) that's how I did housework too. So far there don't seem to be negative effects. Like you I checked in and talked (apartment, easier) and we did things together throughout the day (plus feeding and changing and bath times and all that stuff). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sahms-how-much-independent-play-vs-playing-with-you#post-2208668 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 10:55:54 +0000 SweetiePie 2208668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wondering how much time you spend sitting and playing with LO vs letting them play on their own while you do housework, etc. I do try to sit with my son as much as I can but now that he can crawl around I often let him stay in his "pen" where it's safe and let him play on his own. It's the only way I can get some housework done. I do check in and talk to him while I do it (apartment) but I feel guilty that I'm not sitting there with him all the time. </p> <p>If you had to choose percentages, what % of their playtime is with you vs alone? Not sure if that's the best measure, but all I can think of right now. </p>