https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 00:23:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633531 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 10:54:04 +0000 cascademom 633531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Mmm, cake! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633289 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:51:10 +0000 Boheme 633289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I found out she also offered to pay for the cake, so I'm just gonna leave it alone. She's just weird and excited, and we all got a good laugh out of it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633260 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:45:04 +0000 avivoca 633260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Agreed! My grandmother refers to my sister and I as her "kids," which annoys my mother to no end. I hope she remembers that when she starts talking about LO as "'her baby." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633207 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:35:10 +0000 Mrsbells 633207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hahaha I love the title she gave the list!! I would say anything </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633178 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:27:11 +0000 mrsmenow 633178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would let it go, but I would make sure to thanks everyone for "coming to MY shower, DH and I are so excited for OUR baby to be here". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633172 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:25:08 +0000 Cherrybee 633172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: </p> <p>"I really don't understand this grandparents mentality of MY grandchild. Like, yes, get excited for the baby and all, but they had their own babies, now this is your baby and they are only the grandparents. Secondary." </p> <p>^^THIS!!!^^ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633171 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:24:40 +0000 cascademom 633171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: haha, my mom's is a retired kindergarten teacher. She used to say that too. </p> <p>The whole "my kids" referring to my child (her grandchild) is funny because when we had the visit from hell, she kept on saying "you're the mama" to me like she was trying to convince herself of it like she couldn't write me off when we were just a married couple in hopes of us divorcing which she told me a few times. She has to acknowledge the fact that her grandchild is my son and what I say goes.</p> <p>MIL also focused on what milestones DH and BIL hit whenever we mention LO's. She's never offered helpful advice or anything. My mom actively gives us suggestions when we're struggling with sleep issues or other stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633159 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:19:11 +0000 Foodnerd81 633159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cascademom: I don't mind the 'my kids' thing if they are referring to the humans they raised, even if they are adults. It's when 'my kids' refer to their grandchildren that really gets me. </p> <p>Then again, I might get a little jealous when my mom refers to the students she teaches as 'my kids'. I'm like, NO, WE'RE your kids, mom! This might speak to my maturity level though. (My mom's children range in age from 38 to 26. None are kids at this point). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633130 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:10:07 +0000 JamieLee 633130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had things like this constantly while planning my wedding. MIL actually said that weddings are for the parents, not the couple...she was the reason we invited more than 350 people...</p> <p>I'm sure we'll have the same issue with the baby shower...I just grin and bare it, then talk to hubby or SIL about her craziness. There's more important battles to be waged...and like others said, more presents! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633116 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:06:04 +0000 cascademom 633116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: </p> <p>"I really don't understand this grandparents mentality of MY grandchild. Like, yes, get excited for the baby and all, but they had their own babies, now this is your baby and they are only the grandparents. Secondary."</p> <p>It's creepy isn't it. My MIL posts stuff on FB referring to her "kids." DH is 33 and BIL is 27 years old. They're no longer kids. They're adults. DH is married with a family, so out of that spectrum of "kid." I'm more convinced that she's holding onto the golden years of when he was a kid/teen because the reality of life today for her is nothing like what it was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633107 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:03:23 +0000 cascademom 633107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: No reasoning with crazy MIL's. Seriously, it's a losing battle the more I have to deal with mine. They are so set in their ways and are so convinced they're right. The trick I'm learning is to find subtle ways around their crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633070 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:52:44 +0000 Foodnerd81 633070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have a really good attitude about it and it sounds like your hostesses do too! As long as it's fine with them, yeah, whatever. They will keep your MIL occupied and more presents, so whatever. </p> <p>The title would really bother me, but at least you get a laugh out of it. You'll have much bigger issues to deal with her, so easy enough to let this one go. </p> <p>I really don't understand this grandparents mentality of MY grandchild. Like, yes, get excited for the baby and all, but they had their own babies, now this is your baby and they are only the grandparents. Secondary. </p> <p>Of course, my parents sometimes fall on the other end of the spectrum where I'm like, um, hello, why aren't you more excited?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633052 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:44:27 +0000 BKCaribBaby 633052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: That link....wow!</p> <p>I think others are right that it's just more presents. Other than greeting these extra people and thanking them for coming, you probably don't need to interact with them all that much if there will be other people there. </p> <p>If I was your friend, I would have wrote back: "Thanks for your list. See you at Ms. Griz's shower." I'm a little protective of my friends. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go/page/2#post-633047 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:42:04 +0000 Pepper 633047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The title would bother me, but I'd just let it go (Though I would be really rolling my eyes and venting to DH, haha). As long as the list isn't an outrageous amount of people (and isn't really increasing the price for whomever is paying), I'd just let her bring her friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-633045 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:40:51 +0000 Grace 633045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I would love it if my mom had a grandma-to-be shower with all her work friends! I found it so awkward to have them at my wedding shower. I don't know these people! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-633018 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:32:51 +0000 littlebittyhouse 633018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: omg your responses kill me. love it!</p> <p>i say let it go. @MsLipGloss is right ... there will be other bigger battles to stand your ground on :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632959 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:15:06 +0000 avivoca 632959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happened at my wedding. My grandmother insisted that we invite 75 of her nearest and dearest (including sorority sisters), and none of them came. It was a huge hassle and drove up the cost of invitation printing/mailing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632828 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 07:18:06 +0000 MsLipGloss 632828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally think it's crazy and crazy rude, but I would let this go. Trust me, there will be plenty of other issues for which you will want to throw down . . . not picking small fights will go a long way toward maintaining the upper hand. </p> <p>I have been dealing with this now for a while, in case you couldn't tell. (((hugs))) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632810 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 07:10:22 +0000 Thenetexan 632810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL wanted me to invite her bestie (who lives in the same city yet I have never met in 8 years of marriage) and some relatives and step relatives that I have met once or twice (also living in the same city). I said no. I wanted my shower to be more intimate and not have to be "on" for strangers. I wanted to spend time with the people I am closest to. It was also a seated shower at a house, so space was a legitimate issue. Grandma's often host showers, which if she had thrown me a shower, I would have clearly let her invite her people. That said, if it doesn't bug you, it is not worth rocking the boat. My MIL still showed up with a gift from her BFF. She brought it in after the shower was over and left it by the front door without mentioning it. She either was trying not to make a big deal of it or was being passive aggressive... Although, she could have dropped the gift off at any other time if she weren't be passive aggressive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632784 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:59:01 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 632784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: it depends.. How many people did she invite? Does her guest list impact the budget? Is he financially contributing toward the shower, and if not, does her guest list impact the budget significantly?</p> <p>Those would be my deciding factors.</p> <p>I felt extremely uncomfortable at both my bridal and baby shower when my MIL invited guests that had never met me before. I wish i would have spoken up and said something. One woman confused me and my SIL at my baby shower. I was very hugely pregnant and SIL was newly married and very thin. I'm not sure how she confused us. If I remember correctly, I believe this woman was a guest at SILs wedding (but we were not introduced to one another there). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632772 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:45:01 +0000 anonysquire 632772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: lol I could go forever with the major selling points! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632767 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:41:47 +0000 Cherrybee 632767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I never thought I'd be envious of your super stressful in-law situation but today I am a little bit..... you're selling it to me, girl....! Lol! </p> <p>@blackbird: I quite like that idea!! It allows grandma to make a big fuss about how excited she is without gatecrashing the mum's babyshower and making it all about her. </p> <p>I wouldn't be opposed to her asking if she can invite her friends (we invited some of my MIL's friends to our wedding without even being asked to) - it was the title of the list that sent me over the edge (I was shaking with fury as I was typing my earlier response!!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632752 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:34:28 +0000 anonysquire 632752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: I'm just glad me and my MILs are not on speaking terms and are not in the same state. It makes things easier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632734 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:24:57 +0000 sslm 632734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that the title is weird and annoying but I would let it go! She's excited and wants to share that with her friends! Besides that means more gifts!!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632729 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:20:37 +0000 blackbird 632729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>haha, what? Just be glad she's not having her own Grandma-To-Be shower? <a href="http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/you-and-your-grandkids/ababyshowerforgrandma" rel="nofollow">http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/you-and-your-grandkids/ababyshowerforgrandma</a></p> <p>:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632725 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:17:02 +0000 SugarplumsMom 632725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be annoyed but try to let it go. Just think: more gifts? :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632723 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:13:58 +0000 swedishfish 632723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: hahaha, I wish I had the guts to say things like that! Love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632722 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:13:22 +0000 swedishfish 632722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be more upset at how she titled the list unless she wants to invite more than 5 friends. It's not her shower unless she's the one giving birth. I'd complain to my DH and mother and then try to let it go. There's no reasoning with some people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632707 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 05:57:56 +0000 anonysquire 632707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Say to her, "oops we had a house fire and it only burnt your list, it's too late for you to write another. Maybe when you get pregnant you can invite your friends." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/say-something-or-let-it-go#post-632701 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 05:46:29 +0000 honeybear 632701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, that's really rude of her! I would probably just let her invite her friends and seat them all together. Seems like its not worth it to try to change her views of her own self-importance. </p>