https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 26 May 2026 15:20:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-322476 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 13:13:53 +0000 photojane 322476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm so sorry you're having to go through this. i don't have any stories or anything to share, but i just wanted to let you know you're on my mind today. i'll be praying for comfort and peace for everyone involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-322415 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:57:55 +0000 MaisyMay 322415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my dad passed away 6 years ago, he waited until my mom had gone to bed. She knew that if she left him for any time at all, he'd pass, and he did. All that I can say is encourage her to be as comfortable as possible and remind her that you love her when you leave her room.<br /> I was told that sometimes loved ones need "permission" to pass, to be told that they'll be missed but that you understand. We all had to tell my dad that it was okay to let go and that we knew we'd see him again someday. After he passed away, I got to sit with him for a few minutes before waking my mom and sister to let them know. It's not easy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-322389 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:48:13 +0000 mrs. bird 322389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everybody. She took off her o2, and is in pain. She says her back hurts but refuses any morphine. She kicked us all out. I think she believes she will go quickly, only she won't. It will take a long time &amp; it's going to be painful. I wish DH was here with me. I wish she would accept the morphine to help with the pain and to further depress her respiration. </p> <p>@chibee: &amp; @Rachel: Thank you for sharing your stories! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-322109 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 11:00:01 +0000 chibee 322109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. DH's grandmother, who we were all very close with (saw her almost every day) passed while in home hospice care in April. When she started declining, I stayed at her house (only a mile down the road from us) for 2 days, but went home on the second night to get a couple hours of rest and shower, and she passed while we were home, but peacefully in her sleep when she was finally comfortable enough to fall asleep. At first I felt terrible that we weren't there, why did we choose to go home at that moment? But as more time passed, I realized that it's not so much important that you be there the exact moment she passes, i think what's important is that you were there at all. She will know you were there. I'm so sorry you are going through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-322040 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 10:25:22 +0000 sorrycharlie 322040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so, so sorry. Crying for you right now. You and your family are in my thoughts, friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-321888 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 09:26:50 +0000 shinystraps 321888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so hard. I hope that you are able to find a way to say goodbye that is meaningful for you. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-321871 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 09:19:56 +0000 Alivoo01 321871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this hard time. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-321738 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 08:08:06 +0000 Shutterbug 321738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry about your Nana :( I went through something similar with my 94 yr old Nana a few years ago. When the doctors told us she would be gone within 2 hrs to 2 weeks, we all tried to be there as often as we could. Someone was with her every moment of every day. The hospital chaplain told us a story about a man who sat by his dying wife's bedside for 3 months, and the first time he went down to the cafeteria, that's when she passed. He said that sometimes people just want to be alone when they die. Sure enough, the one night that no one stayed with my Nana, that's the night that she passed away. Don't worry if you're not there the moment that she passes. She knows that you love her, and that's what really matters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-321737 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 08:07:19 +0000 autumnlove 321737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that your family is going through this! Sending you lots of hugs and support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-goodbye#post-321731 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 07:55:18 +0000 mrs. bird 321731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it's been a rough couple weeks for me, today especially.</p> <p>my nana is very old, 89, and has been sick. she has COPD and congestive heart failure, her blood is too thin for them to relieve any of the fluid around her heart or in her lungs. she has over a liter of fluid in each lung, her kidneys are starting to fail. she has pneumonia. they moved her to an ICU early this morning where she will not be intibated because once she's put on a vent, she would never come off of it. she has accepted a mask until we all arrive, because without it her oxygen plummets. up until now she had been on oxygen, but hadn't needed a mask. she will remove her mask once we all arrive so we can be with in while she dies. </p> <p>i was planning on going tomorrow after work so i could spend the long weekend with her, i feel like there are stories of hers i haven't heard, now i won't ever hear them. i was with my grandpa on the other side of my family while he died, but he had been sick for a long time &amp; it was easy to see it was time to let him go. even though i was closer to him, this one seems harder because she's still to with it. it only took 34 minutes after turning of my grandpa's vent for him to go, there was a lot of morphine involved. at the time they were 34 excruciating minutes, but i have a feeling this is going to take much, much longer. i'm afraid i will need to take a break &amp; she will go during my break. 34 minutes is a long time to watch someone suffocate, i feel awful that i don't know if i can take hours and hours of it, but i don't know if i could forgive myself if i didn't :*( </p> <p>thank you for letting me share. please feel free to share your stories of saying goodbye. i may or not be posting today, you all might be a great distraction, or i may just end up in my own lil bubble. we'll see how things go. thanks again for letting me share this will you guys, it's too hard to talk about out loud, but i need to share it somewhere. </p>