https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 03 Jun 2026 07:08:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777590 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 07:12:47 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1777590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I'm assuming so - as it appears that this has become his "routine". But I don't always have 2-3 hours to spend at the Y/park, so then it ends up that I either get to workout, or I don't. So lately, I've been trying to go at times that DH is home so I don't have to deal with it - and then the weekend becomes the fun time to go for a few hours. </p> <p>@dreamocracy: haha exactly! Oh the things we thought we knew before having our own ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777575 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 06:54:37 +0000 looch 1777575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does your son thrive on routines? Mine does, so when we have to deviate, I explain beforehand so he can set his expectations. I also use these events as an opportunity to talk about time and how we could go do that event on another day.</p> <p>He still whines though, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777570 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 06:47:41 +0000 Weagle 1777570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is hard. But I know she has to learn to deal with disappointment and not always getting her way. I do always try to explain why I say no in situations like that. Also with things like that that DH does with her, I'll remind her that it's a special trip she gets to take with Daddy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777479 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 00:04:40 +0000 HabesBabe 1777479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a tiger mom when it comes to this sort of stuff and I just let C cry and learn to deal with it. Just because nice/fun things happen sometimes, doesn't mean they get to happen ALL the time, and I don't give any explanation other than, "We're not going swimming/to the park today." </p> <p>I guess I don't feel like I "owe" her anything, including a thorough explanation or reasoning. No means no, respect your elders' authority. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777476 Thu, 24 Jul 2014 00:01:33 +0000 fairy 1777476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg I definitely feel you there. Before having a kid, I would be like "just suck it up and tell them no" but it really is hard sometimes! I guess what I try to keep in mind is that sometimes saying no is the best thing we can do for them, gotta think longer term. It is a really fine line sometimes :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777473 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 23:57:47 +0000 birdofafeather 1777473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: that's a great idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777334 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 21:22:25 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1777334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: it's a hard age! They don't understand 'sometimes' just yet! I struggle with this a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777330 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 21:20:01 +0000 blackbird 1777330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sort of look at it like teaching her a lesson. It's hard. I don't like it. But it's important. And it's hard at first but will get easier as it clicks. I get it, though, I love watching E's face light up! But her learning that sometimes, her mama's needs come first is OK, too. Hopefully in this situation, she learns to prioritize herself as she gets older and balance it with caring for others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777328 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 21:17:22 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1777328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: that's a really great idea- and he's probably at the ideal age to implement that! I've started noticing that he will remember events and things that happened days prior and talk about them. He always does surprise me with what he knows/remembers, so even if I'm unsure that he'll "get it", it's definitely a good idea to start that now. Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777324 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 21:14:53 +0000 Jess1483 1777324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know what you mean! I find it easier if I set the expectation before we even go, like "I know the park is super fun, but we don't have time to go there today. You will go to daycare, and then we will swim, but then we have to XXXX. It might be hard, but you can do it!" Then, I know it's super important to keep my word, so he knows he can trust what I say, even when he doesn't like it, and it's easier for me to follow-through. The first few times you practice it, you could even surprise him (no bribery) with a fun activity at home IF the transition goes well (you were sad not to go to the park, but you came right with mommy, so now we get to XXX). If not, you don't even mention the activity (no punishment). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/saying-no-1#post-1777319 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 21:10:49 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1777319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been thinking about this a bit lately... I didn't realize as a parent, how much I love being able to make my child happy - it just warms my heart in ways I never imagined. When I can do something for him, or take him somewhere that will bring him joy - I live for those moments...</p> <p>But I realize this may have potential for making me a pushover parent - and funny to say that because I have never ever been the definition of a pushover - so it's so weird. </p> <p>One situation I can think of: I can't go to the YMCA with J for a "quick workout" because awhile back he and DH had somehow got into a routine where J would go to the daycare, DH would work out, and afterward DH would take J swimming or to the Y splash deck. So now, if I were to drop him at daycare, workout, pick him up, and leave right away - tears would ensure. And it's not a tantrum, but he gets SO sad, so disappointed, and it breaks my heart. So now I only go to the YMCA with him when I know I have 2-3 hours to workout and take him swimming.<br /> And I have now noticed a new trend: just down the street from the Y is a newer, super-awesome, fun, park. And DH has taken him there a few times after the Y, and now every time we're at the Y, he asks to stop at the park too. </p> <p>This is one (big) situation I can think of that's becoming a problem lately. So where is that line between doing things my kid loves and saying no? I know disappointment is a fact of life and it's good for him to know that he can't always get what he wants - but it really is hard on me to upset him. Anyone else deal with this at all? When you say no, do you explain? </p>