https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 14:55:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921506 Tue, 15 Dec 2020 22:58:44 +0000 mrsmacSLP 2921506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ColdToes: Just wanted to check in on you ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921453 Fri, 11 Dec 2020 21:29:26 +0000 Littlebit7 2921453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a totally normal way to feel. Especially for a second kid. You know the not fun stuff. You know the stress. The life upheaval. It’s ok to feel these things. Those feelings won’t likely stick around too long once you wrap your brain around this and get to the “we can do this” point </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921417 Thu, 10 Dec 2020 18:02:56 +0000 Clementine12 2921417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ColdToes: I'm right there with you - very unexpectedly expecting #3 now (in a pandemic :bummed: ), when the first 2 were planned. Its so emotional and it I often feel guilty for the emotions I'm feeling - but I am trying to remember to be gentle with myself and allow those feelings to exist.</p> <p>Pregnancy is a long hard 9 months and the first few are the hardest (at least for me). You have a lot of time to plan and get excited. Let it all ride and things will be ok. I'm sure your little will be an excellent sibling and that is so sweet to see. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921415 Thu, 10 Dec 2020 15:14:08 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2921415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven’t been in this situation at all since we had to do IVF for both our kids, but I think it is a shock when a pregnancy actually happens, whether planned or surprise. It seems so abstract and then suddenly it’s reality. This happened super fast for you! It’s ok to feel this way, and you DO have choices here. Just want to ensure you feel supported whatever you decide.</p> <p>Our boys have a nearly 4 year age gap (on purpose) and I was extremely worried about going back to the newborn days for sure. Our life was easy! I had a very hard time when our first was 0-6 months so the second time around I saw a therapist while my wife was pregnant. I got some good coping strategies and I felt 1000% more ready. And the hard times did not seem as hard! Or as long and unending! I think going from 1-2 was waaaaay easier than 0-1. I knew we could get through it because we had done it before. Now they are 6 and 2 and are the light of our lives. </p> <p>Maybe make a list of things that worry you and try to come up with an action plan to help? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921413 Thu, 10 Dec 2020 12:16:34 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s ok that you feel this way. Don’t feel guilty! You will come around in your own time. You will adjust. My situation is different, I desperately wanted a second. After 5 losses, I found out I was expecting twins! My first thought was definitely “oh fuck”. I actually felt that way pretty much the entire pregnancy. I hated the way I felt because I had longed for another baby for so long, but I didn’t want TWO more babies. Now they are almost one, and we have adjusted as a family. Is it harder? Yes! Do I wish I had more “me time”, yes! But in the same token, I can’t imagine our family without them in it. Give yourself some grace and time. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921412 Thu, 10 Dec 2020 11:18:57 +0000 Chuckles 2921412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coldtoes: I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I'm sure part of it is shock that it happened to fast and being worried about changing up the family dynamic that you are used to. I hope you can take some time to come to terms with how you're feeling and move towards more excitement.<br /> FWIW, it took me 3 years to convince DH to go for a second kid, and 4 miscarriages after that. So clearly, I *really* wanted a second. But once I got pregnant with a successful pregnancy, a part of me was like, holy crap, I changed my mind! I don't want this after all. Because by the time DD was born, DS was 6 years old. So we were in such a good place with his independence, time for ourselves, and just generally having fun as a family. But now that DD is here (and 1 already!), I can't imagine our family dynamic without her. She is just the best, and DH is adorable with her in a way that he wasn't with DS because he had a rough transition to parenthood the first time around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921411 Thu, 10 Dec 2020 10:55:32 +0000 periwinklebee 2921411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't speak for being pregnant during covid, but one thing we found is that the transition from 1 to 2 was waaaaaaaay easier than the transition from 0 to 1. Even with completely losing childcare for our 12 week old and newly minted two year old for an extended period due to covid, starting the day I had to return from maternity leave. Even with having to deal with a bunch of really challenging extended family problems under covid. It was still a lot easier for us personally than the 0 to 1 transition, which was rough. Not that it wasn't hard, but siblings are wonderful and you've already learned so much as a parent. You've totally got this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921410 Thu, 10 Dec 2020 10:55:28 +0000 ColdToes 2921410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: @JennyPenny: @agold: @bhbee: @castilrm: @mrsmacSLP: Thank you everyone for your support. </p> <p>All I can think right now is I don't want this. I had thought that another baby would be ok, but now that it is a reality I want to be one and done. But my husband and I talked last night and while he's shocked, he absolutely wants another. </p> <p>So now its my responsibility to come to terms with this. </p> <p>@mrsmacSLP: Its so nice to have someone in nearly the exact same position! My DD will be 4 years 8mo when the baby is born. I'm so sad and upset, I can't think straight - all I can see is how much of my life I have to give up again, And this time in a pandemic. </p> <p>I'm so struggling. I don't want this. and I'm so sad that I feel this way. I want to be happy and excited. but i'm not. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921408 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 21:25:53 +0000 mrsmacSLP 2921408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh Lady. I felt very similar. We’ve been NTNP since July with an end date for January. Found out on November 30th were also expecting #2 (DS will be 4years 4 months when this one is born).</p> <p>I had in my brain we’d be a one and done but left it up to someone higher. I’m still going through the “losses”, and COVID doesn’t make it any easier. The fear is real, anxiety is high. In the end, if I really didn’t want a second then we should’ve protected. We’re moving forward with the new idea, change is hard which is what makes this so hard! You’ve got it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921406 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 14:07:42 +0000 castilrm 2921406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a couple friends who announced their second (or third) pregnancies during the pandemic and they all felt a mix of emotions too. It’s a scarier time than normal to make plans and be pregnant but hopefully this will become a bright light and happy distraction. A new pregnancy, especially when somewhat unplanned or happens more quickly than expected is a little jarring! We got pregnant with both of our kids much more quickly than I expected and I was a little freaked out each time for a couple weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921403 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 12:18:26 +0000 bhbee 2921403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs! First tri is so hard in so many ways and emotions can definitely be all over, so don’t feel guilty about anything you feel. Just get through until things start to sort out. </p> <p>As encouragement, my third was born when my first two were 3.5 and 6.5 and it was so helpful that they were older. I think a second child will likely feel much easier than the first did (once you get there!) since your first will be older. And there are a lot of heart-melting moments about having an older “little mommy” who can truly be helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921402 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 12:03:12 +0000 agold 2921402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations! This is what happened to me sort of kind of a couple years ago, only my first child was less than a year old! So I think you will be great! Your little girl will be close to, if not over 5 years old. I think that sounds like amazing spacing that will hopefully make having a newborn easy. (2 under 2 was not easy) Getting pregnant was #2 was a shock, felt totally unplanned, and I was nearly embarrassed. It all works out and just be so happy and excited! The nervous feelings will go away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921401 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 11:56:42 +0000 JennyPenny 2921401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big hugs! It’s totally okay to be scared even though this wasn’t necessarily a surprise. My DH and I decided to NTNP for now as well and when I had a twinge of nausea after the first opportunity I felt panicked! My kids are all super planned and “tried for” so it is a bizarre experiment to try and go against that part of my personality. Perhaps you’re the same way? Either way I hope that as you have time to process it it becomes less scary. :heart: :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921400 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 11:56:40 +0000 Mama Bird 2921400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ColdToes: take a deep breath! I guess you weren't totally against the idea if you made the decision... so it will work out. For what it's worth, once I knew how hard parenting is, my reaction to getting pregnant again was a week of terror and regrets. Couldn't even tell DH. Just kept running a list of all the things I've just said goodbye to, and how much trouble I've just caused for the family, in my head. Oh, the second and third kids were definitely wanted and planned. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that it's not easy and you give things up and it takes time to process that. Especially now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/scared-unexpected-2#post-2921398 Wed, 09 Dec 2020 11:33:18 +0000 ColdToes 2921398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I am a HelloBee member under a different name, but my name is too similar to some things in real life and I'm not ready to be public. </p> <p>I just got a positive pregnancy test yesterday. A few weeks ago, my husband and I made the decision to not try/not prevent and that night we got pregnant. I didn't think it would happen at all. I wasn't sure I wanted another child at all.</p> <p>We both work full time, and have a 4 year old daughter. </p> <p>I'm scared. My first thought was "oh fuck".<br /> DD was planned and tried for, this wasn't an accident, but not planned either. </p> <p>I'm just getting my body and life back after having DD. Pandemic has been really really tough on me/us.</p> <p>I don't really know what I'm looking for. I just needed to get my thoughts out. </p>