https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 02:01:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813813 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 20:18:57 +0000 lamariniere 2813813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There’s no official policy at our school. So far, my LOs have received paper invitations and I know the whole class hasn’t been invited. I think we will do parties next school year and I plan on emailing invites. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813802 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 19:30:37 +0000 Mrsbells 2813802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone. I found out our class doesnt have a directory but ultimately she was able to give out the invites after school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813776 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 17:41:28 +0000 DesertDreams88 2813776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a teacher, birthday party invitations being handed out in class would be pretty distracting and then I have to manage the emotions of the 10 kids that didn't get invited. Not the best use of instructional time.</p> <p>I've taught mainly 5th and 8th, but also stints in 2nd, 7th, and 10th. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813764 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 16:30:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2813764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like this predicament comes up a lot on the boards. Best thing would be to get to know the parents of your kids friends and exchange numbers and emails. When I was in elementary school one teacher would have students stay after school for a few minutes and the birthday child handed out invites. Most often invited came in the mail. My school had a directory with everyone’s address and other helpful things like numbers for babysitters. Do schools do that anymore? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813759 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 16:17:45 +0000 Charm54 2813759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s OK to not invite the whole class obviously (the thought gives me hives as a parent haha) but there are some kids who never get invited to a single party all year long. As a teacher it’s heartbreaking watching how hopeful they get every time invites are placed in select cubbies/folders/etc only to realize that they didn’t get one, yet again. I can see why schools have this policy. Ours doesnt but luckily most parents are sensitive to this and deal with invites outside of school grounds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813750 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 15:50:17 +0000 PinkElephant 2813750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @Mrsbells: On directories: In our schools, it goes by class. I'm class parent for DD1's K class, and had one out to parents both electronically &amp; in print the very first week. I find directories essential. DD2's PK3 class (same school), the class parents didn't do one, and I'm annoyed by that - but I don't feel like it's my place to nag them to do it, so I've tried to keep quiet, hehe ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813746 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 15:44:14 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2813746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Former kindergarten teacher here. Policy at our school was either the whole class is invited, or all birthday party-related things were to be handled outside of school entirely. We had a weekly folder that went home, and if a parent was inviting the whole class, he or she was expected to drop the invitations in each and every cubby and that went home in the folder with other announcements-and yes, you better believe I checked that each cubby had one so no one was excluded. Yes, your child will learn that he/she sometimes is not included, but no way does the school need to be involved in that. Evites are an easy way to get the word out to specific children you want to invite, as are invitations mailed directly to a child's home. There's enough pressure on a teacher in so many different ways, that birthday parties and potentially hurt feelings around them shouldn't be his or her responsibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813717 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 14:34:54 +0000 Ajsmommy 2813717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I don't disagree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813714 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 14:30:39 +0000 Truth Bombs 2813714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I agree that children need to learn that they won't always be invited to everything, but they also need to learn that it is not the responsibility of the world around them to make everything as easy and convenient for them as possible. It is not unreasonable for the school to expect families to do the necessary leg work to find a way to distribute birthday party invitations without creating unnecessary hurt feelings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813700 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:53:39 +0000 LBee 2813700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Totally understand. My comment is solely based on the assertion that the school is dictating your party list or that the rule is irrational. It's tough being a school and trying to protect feelings and that seems like an aggressive assertion. It's easier for school to be a neutral ground. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813699 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:52:16 +0000 Mrsbells 2813699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: so the rule is my daughter cant hand out invites during school time or in the school building. I understand the reason for the rule i just never had to think of it before so it was a surprise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813697 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:48:07 +0000 LBee 2813697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Her school informed her that if she expected the school to hand out invitations that she had to invite everyone, hence my response. They are saying nothing about the party list - just that the teachers won't give out the invite unless everyone is invited. She actually specifies that she emailed the teacher asking her to put it in the cubbies and this is when it came up. </p> <p>"Her teacher told me that the school policy states to be able to give out invites at school DD will have to invite all 22 people in her class!"</p> <p>In fact, her ETA specifically highlights the policy is about teachers handling during school hours.</p> <p>Lastly, in the world of a child they have no idea if they are the only person left out. All they know is others got invites and they didn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813694 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:45:14 +0000 Mrsbells 2813694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: i wasnt aware of one. But i did ask the teacher about it so i'm waiting for her response. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813693 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:41:52 +0000 looch 2813693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Does your school not have a directory? If not, it could be something you suggest to the PTO.</p> <p>Participation in it is completely optional and you don't have to include your address, but at a minimum, you can provide an email address. Then you just take the teachers out of the equation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813689 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:35:10 +0000 Ajsmommy 2813689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: how are they not dictating? If I want to pass out invitations at school everyone in my DD's class must get one. That sounds pretty dictator-y to me....??? What am I missing??? I'm not given an option? </p> <p>As I said in my post my preschool does not have this rule. But I know a lot of places do. My friends daughter had to invite all of her classmates if she wanted to pass out invitations at school. </p> <p>Your response seems to specifically relate to the "teachers" handing out the invites. And I never mentioned that at all. I don't and wouldn't expect teachers to pass out invites AT ALL period. Whether it's to everyone or not to everyone. Meaning when we did my DD's I put the invitations in the cubby's. It had nothing at all to do with the teachers. </p> <p>And as far as my DD not being included in things....... it's life. I am pretty sure there'll be many things she's not included in that she either will care about or won't care about. We'll deal with them as they come.. and no one said the ENTIRE CLASS minus ONE KID was invited. So I dont' know why you'd ask me about my DD being the ONLY one not invited. But if she was then, so be it. </p> <p>@Madison43: I agree 100% that the teachers should have no involvement in this..... I don't know why that is being misconstrued with the fact that if I want to pass out invitations at school I have to invite the entire class. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813677 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:21:59 +0000 Mrsbells 2813677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: yah that's a good point. I hat no idea about any of this so i feel bad for DD she was really looking forward to giving them out but i am sure we will work around it with the email addresses </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813675 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:20:22 +0000 Mrsbells 2813675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: goodpoint!Thanks yeah I got great feedback here when I posted about it and of costco still had the coupons that helps to save a bit too. I think it was $100 of coupons for $69.99 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813673 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:19:41 +0000 MamaG 2813673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our policy is all students or those of the same gender. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813672 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:17:58 +0000 Madison43 2813672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: yeah, but I think as kids get older, their situational awareness increases. A pre-k or younger kid may not even notice an invitation or put together that she/he did not receive an envelope or even care, where an elementary school child would. Just seems easier fo the school to avoid it all together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813671 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:17:48 +0000 Mrsbells 2813671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: in our old daycare kids had different things in their cubbys. Some were reminder letters about tuition or immunizations, or other parent teacher mail. So its new to me that Kids are expecting to have the same thing in their cubbys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813670 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:13:16 +0000 PinkElephant 2813670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: We've had policy on inviting everyone at every school (private preschool/prek and public elementary) we've ever attended, but it only applies to invitations handed out at school. Honestly, I think it is a bit less about "protecting" kids' feelings, and more about not creating more work for the teachers...particularly since if not everyone is invited, there's a potential for the teacher to make mistakes when handing out invitations. In my DD2's PK3 class at the public school, she recently got an invitation with the wrong girl's name on it...I asked around to make sure it seemed like everyone was invited to the party before telling DD2 about the party, just in case it was a mistake. Turns out the teachers just stuck one in everyone's backpack without looking at the names, and yes, everyone was invited. But that made me realize how quickly things could get confusing.</p> <p>My eldest is in kindergarten, and in her class this year, as far as I know, it's been mostly either (a) all kids are invited or (b) all boys/girls are invited based on the sex of the birthday child. DD has a summer birthday the week after school is out, and wants a party at our house, so I think we'll pick and choose using email or home addresses for the invitations. I'm with you, that there has to be a cut off for party #s somewhere, especially when the parties get more special. I think your build a bear party sounds awesome - we'd love to host or go to one of those! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813668 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:11:57 +0000 Adira 2813668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: In know in my son's pre-k class, if they see anyone putting envelopes in their cubbies, some of them will immediately grab them and open them and tell the rest of the class all about them! So I don't think the assumption that just because they are in envelopes in the cubbies, no one will know. Kids speculate. Even if no one opens them, some kids might wonder "Why don't I have an envelope when others do?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813665 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:05:39 +0000 Mrsbells 2813665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: yeah I would be ok with emails but wouldn't want to give my home address out to be honest. I did ask for parent contacts so let's see how that goes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813662 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:03:31 +0000 bhbee 2813662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is our kinder policy too. I did find the teachers were helpful with contact info so you could do it outside school, if you didn’t already have that. We did not invite everyone as we hosted at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813661 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 13:02:22 +0000 Truth Bombs 2813661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: No, everyone doesn't get invited to everything, but it's also polite not to draw attention to something people are excluded from. For instance, if you were out with a group of girlfriends and wanted to invite half of them to get together again at your home, you wouldn't announce the invitation to the whole table. I don't agree with school policies that force you to invite a certain number of people (at the school I went to if you invited more than half the class, you were forced to invite the whole class, and I thought that policy was out of line). However, I don't disagree with policies that limit handing out invitations at school. I don't believe it's the school's responsibility to facilitate handing out invitations to a private party, I have always just asked the parents of the children I wanted to invite for their home addresses and mailed their invitations there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813658 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 12:59:14 +0000 Mrsbells 2813658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: i see what you are saying but this isn't her first party and there was never an issue in previous daycares. No one gets upset because the invites are in envelopes in cubbys. And no one opens because it could be a letter for the parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813657 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 12:59:13 +0000 MrsBucky 2813657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is why school directories are helpful. We invited everyone since my son is too young to tell me who he is closest to, but we did it through email based on info the school directory provided. Maybe suggest the school offer that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813656 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 12:56:22 +0000 Mamatimes3 2813656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is the same policy at our school. </p> <p>I think this applies more to the lower grades when kids haven’t really split up into groups of friends yet. Kids in kindergarten are generally friends with everyone. Once a child has a specific group of friends you likely wouldn’t hand out invitations at school anyway. By that time you’d know the kids and parents specifically. </p> <p>I totally agree with @Madison43. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813652 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 12:45:25 +0000 Madison43 2813652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: @Mrsbells: oh man, I don’t think they are dictating who you have to invite. Our pre-k doesn’t allow invites to be distributed at school at all, which is fine with me. Yes, kids need to learn that they won’t be invited to everything, but I don’t think it’s the schools responsibility to either discreetly pass out invitations for a child or deal with the fallout when some kids are invited and some aren’t. It just seems like a huge distraction for their classroom teacher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/school-policy-on-invitations#post-2813643 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 12:28:21 +0000 LBee 2813643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Explain to me how they are dictating who you invite to your party? They are simply saying that they won't use their employees to deliver invitations that are exclusionary. Just like you can invite whoever you want, it's their prerogative to say they won't risk doing something that could very easily hurt a child if avoidable (and easily avoidable at that). I would be willing to make a guess that if your child was the only one not invited to a party that had invitations handed out at school you'd feel a little different. </p>