https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 11 Jun 2026 18:59:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-946922 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 17:11:14 +0000 Mrs. Pen 946922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mewtill: I agree. I always thought it was rude to ask someone's heritage so I never spoke about it. I don't think my family ever had a formal discussion about it either. But I was friends with people of many different heritages! One of my best friends growing up was adopted from Africa, and I definitely didn't think anything of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-946681 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 15:34:55 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 946681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: Don't be embarrassed - I think the article points out how our good intentions have a surprising effect. For me, as a white person, I've been taught not to talk about skin color because it's offensive and rude &amp; that's a hard habit to break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-946466 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 14:25:45 +0000 Mrs. Pen 946466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was a very long article so took me awhile to finish reading... but it was one of the best written articles I have ever read! It was thorough, objective and extremely helpful. I am embarrassed to admit I didn't think I had to have an intentional discussion with my child about race. I don't recall a formal discussion with my parents, and I guess I adopted to the colorblind theory as well.</p> <p>thank you for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945941 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 12:02:55 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 945941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for sharing. I shared it on facebook! Such a good reminder!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945865 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 11:36:15 +0000 plantains 945865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I'm really looking forward to seeing any tips you have. I'm not too sure how to approach the mixing of L's races with her. I already see her looking at white women and black men extra hard because they are different colours from what she is used to. I really think that in her world, women are black and men are part white part Asian :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945672 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 10:43:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 945672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mewtill: I love that kids are curious and unafraid to ask questions. For them its purely understanding their world.</p> <p>@mrbee: I'm going to have remember different is just different. It's my job to not to bring extra baggage to the table. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945637 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 10:35:45 +0000 Anagram 945637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I love that you remember what one of your 6th grade teachers said!! As a middle school teacher/librarian, that makes me hope I affect students in some tiny positive way like that. And it's a great saying, by the way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945588 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 10:24:07 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 945588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the link! I'm bookmarking it for the upcoming school year - our principal has mentioned she wants an emphasis on multicultural acceptance and understanding. The article is spot on with what I know about young children's developmental stages and how they categorize their world. </p> <p>The part about "shushing" children when they ask/talk about racial differences reminded me of something that happened in my classroom. I have 2nd graders and one came rushing over in a tizzy. "J asked I why is skin is brown! You've got to come! You can't just ask someone why their skin is brown!!" I, who is from Indian had told J "Well, I'm from India and that's the color of skin there." It was great. The 4 of us had a conversation about skin color and how it's different and sometimes people get upset when you ask about skin color, but it's really okay. I wish I had been even *more* explicit now.</p> <p>p.s. i &lt;3 &lt;3 nurtureshock! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945492 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:59:11 +0000 mrbee 945492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Can't wait to hear how you address it, so I can steal your tips!!</p> <p>My sixth grade teacher had a saying that she used over and over: "It's not better, it's not worse: it's just different." I really liked that and have started using it myself with the kids!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945466 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:53:18 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 945466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I know! It just goes to show that you need to validate from all directions. At least I know we were doing right in supporting our other daughter's heritage. Now to balance it out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945417 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:39:37 +0000 mrbee 945417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: ah that's so interesting about Lala's reaction! This stuff is so tricky!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945409 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:37:59 +0000 Mrs. Blue 945409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2012/06/04/we%E2%80%99re-failing-our-kids-when-it-comes-to-race/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2012/06/04/we%E2%80%99re-failing-our-kids-when-it-comes-to-race/</a></p> <p>Here's the other one I was thinking about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945367 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:28:47 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 945367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2012/08/03/talking-with-children-about-race/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2012/08/03/talking-with-children-about-race/</a></p> <p>I think the Bees did one too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945362 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:27:44 +0000 Mrs. Blue 945362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Maybe that's what I was thinking about! I knew I had read a post about it on here somewhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945333 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:20:16 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 945333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: I think I also referenced it in my "talking about Race" blog post. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945269 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:03:26 +0000 Mrs. Blue 945269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for sharing. I think @Mr. Bee wrote a post about the book, Nurture Shock, that this article references. I'll have to see if I can find it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945240 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 08:54:23 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 945240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for bringing this back up. We have to be specific and we have to be direct.</p> <p>We work on this all the time. Of course now I have a lily-white 3 year old running around the house saying, "Look at my beautiful brown skin. I'm darker than you, I'm darker than M. My skin is so pretty!"</p> <p>Maybe we need to dial back the message? I think she's not getting that her skin color is beautiful too.</p> <p>Edited to add: I was just talking about this again with Lala, and she whined, "But I want to be African American like M. and X." I had to explain that her racial background was interesting and important as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-945189 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 08:41:50 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 945189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember reading this on HB awhile back. I definitely think parents should be open about race even if that is just applying acknowledging people's ethnicities and different physical attributes. As one bee put it, kids like to categorize everything. When we turn a blind eye to one of the most obvious things to categorize are left confused.</p> <p>However, I don't want my kid to grow up with a chip on his shoulder. Some questions will arise and the answers will in part due to race. Doesn't mean it will always be that way, but it still is. I don't want my child to be defeated by his race or accept mistreatment because of it. On the flip side I don't want children who are privileged because of their race alone to bask in that and try to keep the status quo- unconsciously or not.</p> <p>If we all strive for a tolerant, equal society we need to be open about what makes us different and unique. Specifically what those differences are and celebrate them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/see-baby-discriminate-children-and-race#post-944873 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 07:22:14 +0000 mrs. bird 944873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>in light of recent events, i've been reading and rereading articles about children and race. this is an oldie ('09, not outdated, just not new) but goodie. great points about how we, as adults, do a huge disservice to children by attempting to be colorblind. </p> <p><a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/09/04/see-baby-discriminate.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/09/04/see-baby-discriminate.html</a> </p>