https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 07:00:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2254525 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 14:12:24 +0000 Crisark 2254525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyTsMom: I'm confident it's a personality thing at this point with my LO. She's always been this way. She's an extreme introvert which is totally different from my other two daughters and myself. But my husband says he was like that some too although my MIL doesn't remember him being as severe as DD. I wish everyone could see how amazingly sweet and funny she is but most people think she's unhappy and it makes me sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2254520 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 14:09:15 +0000 BabyTsMom 2254520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: She sounds very similar to my LO! I feel bad for the grandparents! I'm also curious, since your LO has sisters (and therefore gets plenty of interaction, even at home), that this is really just a personality thing vs being a stage... Or maybe both?<br /> I'd love to hear an update once she's settled into daycare! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2254269 Tue, 04 Aug 2015 11:18:31 +0000 Crisark 2254269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very interested in this. My youngest (28 months) has always been incredibly shy. I mean with everyone but her sisters, DH and I. Even her grandparents that she has seen at least once a week since birth she will cry when we leave and doesnt' offer much affection to. She will hide her face or cover her face when someone else tries to talk to her or play with her. It's especially hard when it's family bc not everyone understands and they take offense to it. She is a lot better at home, since that's her safe place.<br /> I hope this passes or at least gets better. It can be very tough. She also has to go into daycare within the month which will be awful for awhile simply bc she seems terrified to be left with anyone but it has to happen. So, I'm holding out hope maybe it will help her come out of her shell some. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2253749 Mon, 03 Aug 2015 23:17:21 +0000 BabyTsMom 2253749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs.kiwi: When it's just the two of us, he's fine. He is also fine in public around others, as long as me or my husband are close by... I'm definitely not anxious around him; when he gets scared and clings to me, I don't coddle him but I do reassure him and tell him it's ok, etc. ... He's better if we're at home, and we actually entertain friends often, but he does still get anxious even at home.<br /> @Tanjowen: I guess I've never left him as long as a few minutes if he starts crying. He'll start walking towards me as he's crying and so I'll end up picking him up or staying with him.... I wish my LO would get easily distracted too!<br /> @Bubbles: Fingers crossed that this is just a brief stage for us too! I just feel bad for him, that's all. I don't mind that he clings to me....hahaha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251826 Sat, 01 Aug 2015 10:09:39 +0000 Bubbles 2251826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is very normal, my DS was very shy around strangers from about 13 - 16 months (never went through that phase as a baby either). He's just realising that he's a separate being from you. My DS is now 19 months and is completely past this stage, in fact I am now having to encourage him to perhaps not try to hug and kiss strangers in the park! </p> <p>I would carry on going to the classes and seeing people, but I wouldn't put any pressure on him to separate (obvs unless you need to leave him for whatever reason). Definitely tell him in advance, and when he's acting shy then I'd just let him sit with you for as long as he needs to. I'd acknowledge that he's upset and that its ok to feel that way. I think they can understand much more than we think, and even if he doesn't fully understand the words he'll get the message through your tone :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251546 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 19:18:31 +0000 Tanjowen 2251546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Question - does he cry for a few minutes with people when you leave, or is it so bad you would need to come back? My LO will spend the first few minutes in nursery and even grandparents(!) away from me crying, but is quickly distracted.</p> <p>My LO started the same around 12 months and it's still pretty bad now at 19 months. He will interact with people we meet, but only while wrapped around my leg, ha. I am actively starting to expand his base of people he's comfortable with by starting him in a mom's morning out program 2 days a week this Fall. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251457 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 16:43:38 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2251457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even if he clings to you in public you make sure to encourage and not pressure and you yourself enjoy! Even if you are holding him the whole time sometimes kids will warm up when mom holds them but in a sense ignores them Nd engage in her sleep an conversation and enjoy. Oftentimes they will look around Nd observe and walk or crawl away </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251454 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 16:40:38 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2251454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He will probably outgrow it (at least it will get a bit better even if he stays a more reclusive child). But you probably can help or not help throughout depending on how you respond to him and schedule your days with him.</p> <p>I think you're doing the right thing by taking him out consistently to see other people.</p> <p>You're probably doing everything right but couple questions just in case:<br /> -when you are alone with him or when he is at home is he fulfilled and happy? Sometimes when kids are lacking attention or affection or whatever at home it gets manifested in insecurity when out.<br /> -are you anxious or relaxed when out with him? A child can definitely feel his momma' emotions. If he is clingy and that in turn makes you worry or tense up it could make the child even more so clingy and not able to relax.</p> <p>Also I definitely agree with babyboeksmom about talking to hi and prepping him. They understand so much more than it seems!</p> <p>Another thing that could help. Try to do similar activities at home that you do when out. For example play with the same ball at home that you take to the park.. If your storytime sings certain songs with musical instruments try doing the same at home.</p> <p>How is he when people come over? Does he do better since it is home or is it similar? Generally since they're comfy at home they do a little better with others.</p> <p>Just keep doing what you're doing and wait it out.. Try to stay happy and relaxed and make sure he's getting both chances to bond with you and some independent play at home too. I'm sure ur doing great!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251439 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 16:16:39 +0000 BabyTsMom 2251439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: I don't talk to him much about it beforehand....maybe I should, but I don't know how much he would understand? And when he does start crying, I do try to comfort him and tell him that it's ok, that it's a friend/uncle/aunt, etc. But he just holds onto me/DH so tight!<br /> I guess I'll wait it out for a little bit and see if he outgrows it...<br /> @Rockies11: thanks for your input. I don't know if mine has an issue with big groups vs smaller ones; I feel like he's just anxious during most situations! I do hope ours will pass, too...... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251345 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 14:15:05 +0000 Rockies11 2251345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine always had severe separation anxiety and at 2 years old still does. She has been at home with me, in classes, in daycare, etc. and nothing has helped so far. She even has separation anxiety with my husband, who has been around a lot her whole life. She has separation anxiety even having a nap! I think some kids are more prone to it. I try and keep her in smaller groups or one on one and we do the same activities with the same people regularly. We talk a lot about how mommies always come back, we read separation anxiety books, I have checked in with the doctor about it. She has days where it's better and worse. I thinks she's an introvert and doesn't like big groups so I try to think about that as part of her personality and the separation anxiety as something that will eventually pass. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251324 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 14:01:25 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2251324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyTsMom: I think he's at the age where separation anxiety really kicks in. I do think that it helps to have times where you regularly drop him off somewhere to get him used to being around other people. </p> <p>How much do you talk to him when he gets like that? I would always tell my daughter "Ok, we're going to see a some new people!" before we got there, and then re-state it like "hey! Look who it is! Let's go give them a high-5". So, starting with something small, like a high-5 works them up to understanding that these people are ok, and then (hopefully) by the time we leave, she's usually open to getting a hug. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/severe-strangerseparation-anxiety-help#post-2251016 Fri, 31 Jul 2015 10:11:20 +0000 BabyTsMom 2251016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 14.5 months old. When he was younger, he was fine with people. He never went through the separation anxiety stage as an infant... But since he turned 12 months or so, his stranger/separation anxiety has gone through the roof! It's gotten especially bad in the last month, where he will cling to my leg and hold on for dear life. Sometimes, people can't even look at him, or he will start crying. He does this to almost everyone, except me, DH, and my mom (who watches him often).</p> <p>Is this something that he will outgrow, or do I have to actively help him come out of his shell? We do one class a week, and we see friends/kids pretty often, so I don't know if it's that he's not getting enough exposure..... but if it is, my husband and I are wondering if putting him in daycare will help? I just feel so bad for him that he's so scared! </p>