https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 20:59:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you/page/2#post-1094791 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 12:04:51 +0000 looch 1094791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mother in law is kind of passive agressive and while she wouldn't say something like that directly, she has said that it would be best for my son if I didn't work so many hours. </p> <p>I calmly responded that I work so that I can ease the burden on her son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094774 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 11:58:23 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1094774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have zero tolerance for bullshit comments like that. I swear if anyone in my life tried to guilt me or shame me for working in that way, they would get an earful. Statements like that serve no purpose but to hurt someone and I don't have room in my life for people like that.<br /> I'd tell my mom that the next time she mentions my work in a negative light or hurtful way will be the LAST time we speak. About anything. Moms need to get a grip. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094726 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 11:39:31 +0000 meredithNYC 1094726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. What a terrible thing to hear from your mother, who should be a source of support. You are doing what's right for your family and it really is none of her business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094718 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 11:34:48 +0000 doodlepoodle 1094718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh.my.gah. what the effing Eff. I'm so sorry. I've had SAHM's say things like 'i just can't believe how little you see him. I couldn't do that' (no offense to sahms!) but I felt like throttling her. As if I was unaware of how much more difficult my life is? I'm all too aware. I just try to remind.myself I'm doing what's best for our family. You're a great mama. Chin up, fists out ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094698 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 11:28:19 +0000 MsLipGloss 1094698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: WHOOMP - There it is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094184 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 08:18:09 +0000 HLK208 1094184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So uncalled for. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094176 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 08:15:25 +0000 MrsH 1094176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: I would be furious if anyone said that to me. Big hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094171 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 08:14:52 +0000 Rubies 1094171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL said this to me when we first put DD in daycare because I had to go back to work and my response was, "I know. What's your point?" She went on to explain that I should be at home raising DD to which I responded with, "Tell your son to quit his job and stay home then. My job is important, too."</p> <p>She STFU after that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1094074 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 07:22:16 +0000 lizzywiz 1094074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My Mom is queen of the passive aggressive mean girls.<br /> It sounds like I am not the only one who has heard some version of this shite.<br /> And I second @mrsmate: this kind of comment is rarely leveled at Dads.<br /> I was able to shake off any regret I have about the daycare situation pretty quickly because I know my work is necessary, but the sheer cruelty of the comment stoked my anger for days.<br /> Thanks for joining in my anger ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091959 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:34:10 +0000 edelweiss 1091959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>sniff. that makes me sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091945 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:26:59 +0000 cascademom 1091945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, that's a straight up mean girls thing to say. I think about the time away from LO all the time. I have to remind myself that working benefits our family as a whole. I work, I contribute, and am working towards a certification to get better job prospects which is better for our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091943 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:26:33 +0000 mediagirl 1091943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My immediate response to this post in my head was the f-bomb. I HATE this statement. </p> <p>HEY PEOPLE! WE PARENTS FEEL BAD ENOUGH! YOU DON'T NEED TO RUB IT IN!!!!</p> <p>Argh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091942 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:26:14 +0000 DillonLion 1091942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091940 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:25:16 +0000 avivoca 1091940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That comment brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry that someone said that to you, especially because it was your mother. That's very insensitive! I would let the curse words fly at that point, because that is just uncalled for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091928 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:19:44 +0000 MsLipGloss 1091928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: +1 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091926 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:18:20 +0000 regberadaisy 1091926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oy. Insensitive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091925 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:17:42 +0000 lawbee11 1091925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I literally gasped when I read the title of this thread, and it's so much worse that it came from your mom. I would be so hurt if my mom (or anyone) said that to me. I say let the vulgarities fly!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091922 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:17:00 +0000 MrsScallop 1091922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's awful! Hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091912 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:12:15 +0000 sotofamilia 1091912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's really hurtful, like PP said. I'm well aware of how much time I spend away from my son - it would rip me up even further to have someone specifically point it out. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091908 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:11:39 +0000 mrsmate 1091908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookish: even the term "helping out" drives me crazy. It's not helping when you're the parent! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091904 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:09:23 +0000 T-Mom 1091904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. As if you didn't know that already :-( When my mom says stuff like that to me, I say, well, if YOU were willing to watch my kids... and that silences her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091896 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:07:15 +0000 Bookish 1091896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: Yeah, I've noticed this as well. DH never gets told he spends too much time away from LO. In fact, he has praised heaped on him for helping out. Me? Not so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091895 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:06:47 +0000 Bookish 1091895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry :( I do the math all the time in my head, and the last thing I need is someone reminding me of it. Ugh. People suck sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091886 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:03:36 +0000 mrsmate 1091886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What gets me is, fathers never get comments like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091883 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 09:03:18 +0000 dc yoga bee 1091883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're contributing to your household to,help pay for all this stuff. There is nothing wrong with staying,home and nothing wrong with working. (Hugs) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091878 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 08:59:36 +0000 blackbird 1091878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. That's a bitchy ass low blow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091873 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 08:58:11 +0000 Revel 1091873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Terrible. I've done this math for myself and it certainly doesn't feel good to hear a comment like that from your own mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091871 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 08:57:43 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1091871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ouch :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091867 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 08:56:16 +0000 littlek 1091867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Man, that is hurtful. I'm so sorry. It's bad enough we have to think that ourselves but when someone lays it out like that, it hurts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/she-spends-more-time-at-daycare-than-she-does-with-you#post-1091858 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 08:53:11 +0000 dagret 1091858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. I'm sorry. </p>