https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 12:04:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school/page/2#post-2490327 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 13:21:58 +0000 Silva 2490327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am fine with reasonable dress codes for schools and school sponsored functions, although I think these codes are often extremely sexist and lead to "slut shaming."</p> <p>If my kid's school was requiring her to send in a photograph of her dress for "approval" by anyone I would straight up raise hell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school/page/2#post-2490318 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 13:18:01 +0000 Finfan 2490318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @happygal: The school by me is a public school. That one is in a different state. I guess I can't be bothered to care what girls or boys wear to a dance that serves no educational purpose. And I work with kids so I have seen some outfits that I definitely wouldn't let my kids wear but that's my standards as a parent. I really chafe at school dress codes that are not related to safety or serious public decency. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school/page/2#post-2490057 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 11:26:50 +0000 Freckles 2490057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Those are nice dresses, but i wouldn't want my 16/17 year old wearing that! Maybe i'm just a prude?</p> <p>I think clear guidelines are acceptable for both boys and girls but i think it's a waste of time to submit pictures of the outfits. Do they have to just submit a picture or wear the outfit in the picture? What if the kids alter the outfit prior to prom? If they don't follow the guidelines then being turned away is fine, as long as it applies to both boys and girls. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2490056 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 11:26:45 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2490056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: I found an article and video on this. I think the school should have been more specific from the get go. <a href="http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/prom-dress-pre-approval-high-school_n_6928962.html" rel="nofollow">http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/prom-dress-pre-approval-high-school_n_6928962.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2490054 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 11:25:51 +0000 looch 2490054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What does everyone think about just getting rid of the prom altogether, if the kids and parents can't abide by a set of rules regarding attire? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2490005 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 11:02:50 +0000 Happygal 2490005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I looked this up and see it's a private, Catholic school requesting the pictures. There is a dress code for boys that I can't see being misconstrued--tux or suit that is gender-specific. </p> <p>I was fine with this being a public school requirement, and I'm even more ok with it being a Catholic school request. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489998 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:59:33 +0000 LovelyPlum 2489998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think being turned away at the door for inappropriate dress is more than fine, for either sex. If the pre-approval process helps students to know that you won't get in the door with a risqué outfit, then that's all to the good. It sets expectations out front.</p> <p>I do see how it could come off as sexist that girls must submit photos beforehand. I think that a dress code should be firmly enforced, as should codes of conduct (no drinking, drugs, etc), with the option to get approval for the dress beforehand for peace of mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489995 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:58:28 +0000 catomd00 2489995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Advanced approval? No. But they should make the code clear from the beginning and reserve the right to dismiss anyone who doesn't follow the dress code. I've seen some pretty racy prom dresses lately and honestly can't believe parents felt it was appropriate for a teenager to wear t a school sponsored event. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489955 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:45:23 +0000 BlueWolverine 2489955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never thought I'd come down on this side of the issue, but am totally fine with sending students home in inappropriate dresses. I taught high school 10 years ago and was shocked at what women and men (pants around thighs rather than waist) would wear. School isn't just about teaching match and reading; it is also about teaching what is appropriate for given situations. You want to wear a revealing dress? Fine - but find another venue. School events are not the place for it. </p> <p>I do think pre-approval is a bit extreme. Be clear with expectations - provide pictures even. If the rules aren't followed, you don't get in. Consequences.</p> <p>All that said, the women who get sent home from high school for wearing sweaters and leggins have every right to be pissed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489867 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:12:11 +0000 Anagram 2489867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And I think a lot of people here would be shocked by what a lot of kids will try to wear, with their parents full approval. We've had 6th grade girls come to school on graduation day wearing full on "stripper shoes", with tight, ruched mini dresses, like you'd see a 22 year old wear in a club. I hate that term, but those super high spike heels set on a platform. WHY? They are 11 year old girls. Same with boys wearing pants belted below the bum with underpants exposed. WHY. Sometimes the underpants have holes or the elastic is old and stretched and exposes their bum. No one wants to see that in a school environment. Just like the kids don't want to see their teachers wearing ruched mini dresses with our cleavage hanging out in the classroom, or the male english teacher wearing sagging pants with their underwear showing.</p> <p>There are plenty of parents who don't exhibit common sense, so unfortunately, the schools are in the awkward position of having </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489861 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:09:59 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2489861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Except for the African printed one these are all dresses that parents can purchase from a retailer. They look nice, but are definitely sexy. Too sexy? Sexy tasteful?</p> <p>The teen with the African printed dress designed and sewed her own gown. Impressive! </p> [attach=3033/16/o3twsn.238x476.Blush-Prom-Dress-11013_2_opt_7.jpg] [attach=3033/16/o3twso.434x600.Kyemah-Mcentyre-prom-dress-8-700x967.png] [attach=3033/16/o3twsp.379x600.-sexy-backless-one-shoulder-sleeveless-long-prom-dress-248-6.jpg] [attach=3033/16/o3twsq.575x600.tyle-Sexy-font-b-Prom-b-font-font-b-Dress-b-font-2015-font-b.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489856 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:08:43 +0000 LuLu Mom 2489856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Individual dresses approved by pictures- no that's ridiculous. But I'm okay with a set of standards or dress code to follow. Some dresses are becoming so sexy (celebrity dresses that are not appropriate in a high school setting.) I'm sorry I don't think there needs to be a J.Lo green style dress at a high school prom.</p> <p>Edit: I think men should have to follow standards as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489848 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:06:56 +0000 Anagram 2489848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsKoala: I think they should both have to, for sure. In my old school, we had an 8th grade graduation dance and lots of people--boys and girls--tried to show up in something that was inappropriate. We didn't do pre-approval, but we did send a lot of kids home, and parents would be furious. And by "we", I actually mean the PTA--it was the parents themselves who raised money for the vent, planned the event, and worked the event. And sent kids home. </p> <p>For us the rules were: no shorts, no sagging pants showing undergarments, no visible undergarments at all, no exposed midriffs (for any gender), no flip flops or house shoes, no backless, no cleavage. "professional cocktail attire" (think a work christmas party) or "sunday best" attire.</p> <p>You always have a handful of parents that think their kid doesn't need to play by the same rules, and that's fine--but these events are not mandatory, so they should feel free keeping their child at home, hosting their own party, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489834 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:02:33 +0000 avivoca 2489834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that schools should have an established dress code for what is appropriate and what isn't, but to ask girls (and only girls) to submit photos of their dresses for approval is taking it too far. It's can't just say, "too revealing" either, it has to be specific: "no bared midriffs" or "no slits above the knee." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489830 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 10:01:09 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2489830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am totally fine with having a dress code that is enforced for both genders. Publish it ahead of time and send people away if they don't follow the rules. Choices have consequences and certain attire isn't appropriate in certain situations. Both good lessons for high school kids to learn, IMO.</p> <p>But having to submit photos ahead of time is overkill. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489779 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 09:44:13 +0000 MrsKoala 2489779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the boys don't have to send photos of what they are wearing, why should girls have to do so? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489778 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 09:43:41 +0000 BrandNewMom 2489778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm fine with dress codes (at my school for prom it was no visible ribs or stomach), but this is overkill and a waste of resources. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489770 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 09:42:37 +0000 looch 2489770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before Mrs. Lemon Lime posted those photos, I was thinking "what's the big deal, what could kids possibly be wearing these days?" I looked at it from my seat, which isn't the seat all parents sit.</p> <p>After the photos, yeah, I would support a policy. For boys and girls. The policy is there to guide them, to teach them to make good choices. If we don't guide, what's our other choice? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489743 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 09:31:00 +0000 MrsSCB 2489743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tend to agree with @petitenoisette. I'd actually say that part of being a grown up, which we should be preparing high schoolers for, is learning to deal with consequences. Let them know the expectations beforehand, and if someone shows up to prom in a wildly inappropriate dress, send them home. I'm sure the parents and students would be mad, but that's life. It's not like you send pictures of your work clothes to HR for approval... You have to learn what's appropriate - sometimes the hard way. That being said, I do think some dress codes are faaaaar too strict these days, but that's another issue :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489699 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 09:20:02 +0000 petitenoisette 2489699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a teacher I am really torn on dress codes in general because of course I think that there are plenty of clothes that are NOT school appropriate but then I think that the whole idea of a dress code is pretty inherently sexist. For years I scoffed at the whole leggings as pants trend but then I realized personally that leggings are just really comfortable! Yea I'd prefer that girls wear a shirt that covers their butt when wearing them or not have them be see-through in the back w/their thong showing through, but it's kind of like that's my problem and not theirs if they are comfortable. </p> <p>As far as prom, I totally get what @Anagram is saying about the pre-approval process just being so that parents aren't more pissed at the actual event. Administrators these days kind of fall over themselves trying to do everything they can to prevent problems from ever arising with parents. I do think that it is more appropriate to have a dress-code for prom bc as many others are pointing out, it is a non-academic event, it is a privilege to attend not a right.<br /> However, I just can't get behind a girl having to produce a dress she's planning to wear to an event ahead of time when there is clearly no need for a boy to do the same. I think they just need to deal with the consequences if they show up in a dress like the ones @Mrs. Lemon-Lime has posted and are not let in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489601 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 08:43:23 +0000 Anagram 2489601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think all school events should keep the same dress code. I work in education--this preapproval business is because parents are even MORE pissed with their special snowflakes turn up to prom wearing something not fitting for the occasion and are sent home. </p> <p>If the rule said no exposed midriffs, and the mother bought her daughter a $500 dress that violated the rule, then that's on her. Every school I've ever worked in has had a dress code for both boys and girls and enforced them equally, although the problems are different. Boys tend to try to wear sagging pants with underwear exposed, or those tank tops with the huge armholes, and they are sent home or forced to change into gym clothes, the same as a girl with a midriff exposing top or sheer leggings with a short shirt and an exposed thong would be forced to change.</p> <p>Do I think it's sad schools have to take on what should be a parents job? Sure. But school and school related events (graduation, prom, homecoming dances, after school activities) have dress codes. If parents and students don't like it, they are free to skip the event or enroll in a private school (that will likely have much stricter rules) or home school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489600 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 08:43:06 +0000 mrsrain 2489600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dress-code distributed and enforced? Yes.</p> <p>Asking for photos is a bit much, IMO.</p> <p>And I think requirements should extend to all students, not just females. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489591 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 08:39:55 +0000 lamariniere 2489591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Approval is a bit too much policing, but I think a dress code or guidelines are reasonable, especially if it is a school-sponsored event. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489589 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 08:38:03 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2489589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: no! I Googled "too sexy prom dresses" </p> <p>Every prom season emails are forwarded with "creative" prom dresses and some of the stuff just isn't made well and overtly sexy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489577 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 08:34:23 +0000 Alba4 2489577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, but I find some young girls show waaaay too much skin. You should see the short dresses (that barely cover butts) my 12/13 year old students wear to Bar Mitzvahs. </p> <p>At the middle school where I teach, our former principal tried to implement a dress code and we talked about the 5 Bs.... Are you exposing your breasts, butt, belly, boxers, or bra? There is little you can do without parent support, though. They are the ones buying the clothes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489568 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 08:30:20 +0000 Happygal 2489568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like a lot of work! I'm totally ok with a school dress code for both school hours and sponsored events. If it's been a problem, I can see the thinking that it's better to pre-approve than have a bunch of drama with having to turn someone away at the door. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489556 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 08:24:41 +0000 meredithNYC 2489556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Be approved? I don't know, but I do think a dress code is fine and if a student violates said code, they should be sent home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489543 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 07:58:29 +0000 winniebee 2489543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: are those actual girls who went to your prom?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489494 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 05:05:39 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2489494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was 17 at my prom and some of the guys brought underclassmen as their dates, so 15 and 16 year olds- we were not adults. IMO these dresses are inappropriate. Two look custom made by a local dress maker and one is store bought.</p> <p>[attach=3033/16/o3tipf.375x600.original.jpg]</p> <p>[attach=3033/16/o3tipg.310x233.controversial_prom_dress.jpg]</p> <p>[attach=3033/16/o3tiph.399x600.s-chiffon-v-neck-keyhole-slit-floor-length-long-prom-dress-1.jpg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-girls-prom-dresses-be-approved-by-the-school#post-2489487 Thu, 10 Mar 2016 02:02:20 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2489487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ModernDayJibarita: It's a school sponsored event, so I can see how they would think it reflects on them. </p>