https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 01:11:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-i-hold-out-hope#post-2832433 Thu, 05 Jul 2018 19:03:53 +0000 dc yoga bee 2832433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dd is three and we’ve been trying for a second since she was 9.5 months. I did not get pregnant until my second HSG this past February. Previously, we had done clomid and TI. We were not even willing to move onto IUI at $1800 out of pocket a pop. So, to have a miscarriage in april really sucked. We decided to do one more round of clomid and got a bfp last weekend. What we did was take time off last summer after the second failed clomid cycle. We are 31, and have never considered a permanent option. That’s us though. When we took time off that meant I didn’t use opks, temp, etc.. I didn’t even track my cycles in fertility friend. I had no idea where I was at in my cycle. But, if you truly feel your family isn’t complete (and I get the feeling you don’t but only you truly know) then I think you should figure out how you can further build your family. And if you don’t want to spend anymore money on treatment I would look into alternative holistic stuff that makes you feel like it’s something you can control. For instance, I do have PCOS so I was looking into healing foods, anti-inflammatory foods, and getting really into the lifestyle aspect. Hokey dokey stuff. Did it get me pregnant? No. Did it help my sanity? Yes. Did it help me feel in control of this cruel journey? Somewhat. Happy to pass around info if interested. </p> <p>Lastly, be kind to yourself. Grieve. Grieve your losses, grieve the longing. Let it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-i-hold-out-hope#post-2832429 Thu, 05 Jul 2018 18:48:35 +0000 ElbieKay 2832429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took me two years and two miscarriages to get a second successful pregnancy. You can see my thread about the second miscarriage and subsequent sticky pregnancy -- I am two weeks away from my induction date -- here:</p> <p><a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp</a></p> <p>I agree with the PPs. Maybe you can just take a break without doing something drastic like a vasectomy. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-i-hold-out-hope#post-2832426 Thu, 05 Jul 2018 18:32:01 +0000 crazydoglady 2832426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey, there! FWIW, I still have hope for you. I agree with @LBee: that anecdotes only mean something to the person who experienced it. I also agree with PP that if you can stop TTC and just live your life and if it happens then it happens, I would recommend that. If you simply "can't" turn off the TTC switch, then some sort of BC would be best. We've all heard the stories: I know someone who tried for 5 years and then ended up with 6 kids back to back! You never know, but you need to do whatever gives you peace no matter what happens. I really, really hope to hear wonderful news from you some day. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-i-hold-out-hope#post-2832411 Thu, 05 Jul 2018 16:06:21 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2832411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, so many hugs to you. It sounds like you still have some desire for another child so I would hold off on the vasectomy for a bit longer. If you are still tracking your cycles and planning sex around O you are still fairly actively trying. If you stopped tracking would you go nuts POAS every month or would you relax bc you wouldn't be as convinced you had a shot? Are you opposed to birth control to sort your head out? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-i-hold-out-hope#post-2832401 Thu, 05 Jul 2018 14:41:09 +0000 bhbee 2832401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, hugs :heart: </p> <p>You got a lot of great advice above. I totally get it about needing closure but would also hesitate on a vasectomy because hope is always there. We were going to get an iud before we got lucky our last chance trying - but I think I remember you had issues with that route. Maybe there are other options that are longer term but not permanent? </p> <p>Some people really can just let it be (but I’m not one of them). My brother and SIL tried for a couple years (already mid 30s), did some clomid but were unwilling to do more and just kind of decided to live their life (which I know is easier when you have no kids than one). Then 5 years into no protection - not even trying to hit dates - they have a surprise but very welcome baby. There’s so much medicine doesn’t understand still that there’s definitely hope, but for me I needed to shut the door in some way for my own emotional well being, so I get it either way. As long as it’s not permanent it can always be an option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-i-hold-out-hope#post-2832400 Thu, 05 Jul 2018 13:59:38 +0000 LBee 2832400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I remember correctly, you are in your early to mid 20's. I think the idea of making a permanent decision right now seems crazy. You are incredibly young. I understand that TTC has been exhausting for you and that it feels all consuming. It sounds like, even though in PPs you've said you've let go, that if you are still doing OPKs, etc that you aren't really done. I couldn't imagine moving forward with a vasectomy if I still had some wonderings in the back of my mind. With that said, if you are not willing to do any more from an infertility perspective, your only real option is to have regular sex and just let what will be, be. I know that sounds trite, but you are so young and sound unsure to be making a final decision. We are several (to put it mildly) years older than you and feel our family is done, but still have pause about a vasectomy. If anything, I would consider an IUD in your case - it can equally close a chapter. </p> <p>To further answer your question, I don't think all hope is lost, but I would be prepared that sometimes it's not inevitable. I know someone who tried for 10 years and eventually adopted. IVF also didn't work for her. If you have the mental stamina to keep trying and not let it impact other aspects of your life, then I would do it. I think hope is one thing, but I wouldn't look for anecdotal stories and just assume it will happen. IF is a miserable cluster of an experience and it has SO many unknowns - I personally would worry less about the hope aspect (there is always hope!) and more about if you can continue to try and not lose what you value the most (yourself, your family, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/should-i-hold-out-hope#post-2832395 Thu, 05 Jul 2018 13:04:18 +0000 mrskansas 2832395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been trying to get pregnant with baby #2 for two years now. In the first six months of trying I had an ectopic followed by two miscarriages. Those pregnancies were all conceived naturally. It has been a year and half since my last miscarriage and still no pregnancy.</p> <p>We have done two rounds of Clomid, two rounds of Femara and one injectables + IUI cycle without success. I've also done acupuncture and tried myo-inositol and a few other supplements. I'm at a healthy weight and have always eaten well and exercised. Chromosomal testing was normal and the HSG was good.<br /> My most recent CD 3 labs were back in Feb and my results were: estradiol 20, FSH 5.19, TSH 1.6 and AMH 6.36. </p> <p>My RE was slightly leaning towards a PCOS diagnosis because of longer cycles (35-45 days) and higher AMH but it wasn't a concrete diagnosis and they have labeled me as "unexplained." </p> <p>I am still using OPKs and BDing at the right time but honestly have given up any hope of ever being pregnant again. I've read some posts here about becoming pregnant naturally after an unexplained diagnosis but has it taken anyone over two years? Any advice? After already spending thousands on testing and treatment over the past year we are not willing to spend any more money trying to get pregnant. </p> <p>TTC is not consuming my life like it used to and I am incredibly happy with our family of three. If I never get pregnant again I will not be distraught for the rest of my life, but every month I always get my hopes up and then am let down when my period arrives. My husband is considering a vasectomy just so we can close this chapter and move on. I'm sorry for the long rambly post but I guess I am just looking for an outside perspective. </p>