https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 08:50:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505814 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 15:13:53 +0000 meredithNYC 505814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I seem to be in the minority here, but I honestly think it's fine to note those preferences. And I am the kind of person who like, makes a mental note when I do not receive a thank you card and I never forget the breach of etiquette - LOL. So what I'm saying is, I'm pretty much a stickler for the rules, etiquette-wise and I wouldn't be offended. I just hate the idea of waste and think it's SO much bette for you to just get what you want/are actually going to use. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505682 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 14:38:18 +0000 PrincessBaby 505682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: oh yeah I should have specified I think it's totally fine for showers-sorry! I actually think it's ok for weddings too but my whole family would have disowned me:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505678 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 14:35:01 +0000 Foodnerd81 505678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: I'm not from the South and I saw a roommate of mine got an engagement party invitation with a note about their registry and I was appalled FOR her. Ironically, that party WAS in the South, too. </p> <p>But a shower is a different story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505668 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 14:33:05 +0000 PrincessBaby 505668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I heart the south:) I love how we have a completely different set of rules than the rest of the world- lol. My mom got a wedding invite with a tiny card included that said where they were registered and she was APPALLED- lol:)</p> <p>I agree with MaisyMay for the rest of the (normal) regions in the world:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505646 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 14:25:50 +0000 Foodnerd81 505646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree about taking out the "carefully created" line-- to me that comes off as a little aggressive. I'd also change the wording about "chosen to keep the gender a surprise"-- it sounds like people don't know that YOU know, so if I got that, I'd be annoyed-- like, I know something you don't know! So something implying that no one knows the gender. I do think leaving the bit about your upcoming move makes sense though.<br /> It's sweet of your sister to throw this and make sure all the wording is OK! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505571 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 13:57:05 +0000 MrsTiz 505571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: Agreed.</p> <p>The whole thing has a bad attitude for me. I know it wasn't meant that way but it just kind of seems ..snooty? The "they have decided, they have also decided" doesn't rub me well. I like what you wrote here: </p> <p>"They have also made the decision to cloth diaper their baby, so they won't be needing any disposable diapers or wipes! :)<br /> They have carefully created their registries with a gender neutral style and with their upcoming international move in mind.<br /> You can find the links to their registries here...<br /> Thank you for thinking of them!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505450 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 13:06:12 +0000 T.H.O.U. 505450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you can leave out the "gender neutral" part because since the gender is a surprise obviously everything should be gender neutral. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505435 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:58:37 +0000 MaisyMay 505435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think there's anything wrong with specifying your preferences/type of lifestyle. And since it's a shower, it's okay to include registry info. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505357 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:28:06 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 505357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about removing all references to your preferences and register for cloth diaper essentials? Since this is going on a website could she use create a tab/page labeled Registry and list all of the registries? Company/ store logo and link to the registry or what info to enter to search for your specific registry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505351 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:27:21 +0000 HabesBabe 505351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I would still cut out the revamped blurb about the "carefully created" registries... just thank you, cloth diapers, here are the registry links. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505337 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:21:58 +0000 travelgirl1 505337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: we did the same and kept the gender a secret from everyone. It drove my family insane but it was fab when she was born and we could finally tell :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505332 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:18:38 +0000 Turd Ferguson 505332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: I agree about cutting the "carefully created" sentence and just going with what @MaisyMay: had suggested. If you're including your registries, it'll be pretty obvious that you're looking for a certain "type" of gear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505329 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:15:42 +0000 Dandelion 505329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@arden and @smurfette: I love pink! I was so excited for a girl so that I could go all out on pink, lol. But, also after years of buying boy clothes, I felt it was a relief to shop on the other (usually bigger) side of the store!</p> <p>@arden: I would also just end it after the diaper line (I think that part is good, people want to get you things you will find useful), and then list where you are registered. They can see from your registries what type of stuff you want, so even if they don't get something off of it, they can see your style and maybe think of something you'll love that you didn't even know you wanted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505327 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:15:21 +0000 Arden 505327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe she can at least change it to this - </p> <p>"They have also made the decision to cloth diaper their baby, so they won't be needing any disposable diapers or wipes! :)<br /> They have carefully created their registries with a gender neutral style and with their upcoming international move in mind. </p> <p>You can find the links to their registries here...</p> <p>Thank you for thinking of them!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505324 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:14:31 +0000 sorrycharlie 505324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>wow, you have stellar self-control!! lol I could never keep it quiet if I already knew!</p> <p>I think @maisymay hit the nail on the head! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505323 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:14:22 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 505323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: could she somehow tie it to the invite itself? Like, lots of times the invites are kind themed for the gender....blue invite, says "Welcome Baby (insertname)!!" If the invite was green....maybe a little rhyme about how the gender is unknown:</p> <p>OK THESE ARE TERRIBLE CHEESY BUT HERE'S THE IDEA:</p> <p>Pink or Blue<br /> Nobody Knows<br /> But We’re Showering Mommy<br /> Since Our Joy Overflows.</p> <p>Little Boy or Little Girl<br /> It Doesn’t Really Matter ‘Cause<br /> Mom and Dad Will Be Thrilled To Hear<br /> Baby’s Feet Go Pitter-Patter.</p> <p>A New Little Baby<br /> Is on the Way.<br /> But If It’s a Boy or Girl<br /> Will Have to Wait for the Big Day.<br /> Join in the Celebration of Kit’s New Little Bundle<br /> At a Pink and Blue Baby Shower.</p> <p>you could probably come up with a better one....you could even rhyme about your upcoming move too! </p> <p>I think it is totally ok to put a little registry card in with the invite myself. I mean, come on unlike weddings there is literally no point to a shower except to buy gifts, so why jump through all these hoops? I would put the registry cards in but definitely encourage gift receipts because frankly, people are going to buy you crap you never wanted regardless of anything you say so better to catch them before it becomes a problem! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505320 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:13:22 +0000 Happygal 505320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's sweet that your sister is throwing you a shower. And only 17! I'm wondering what a shower would have looked like if I was in charge at that age.....</p> <p>This is totally my own opinion, but I would take out the part of registering for organic, natural, and gender neutral. I think people could be put-off by all of those qualifiers. I'm guessing the people coming to your shower will have those already in mind. I do think it might be worth mentioning your international move b/c that gets into electrical outlet stuff.</p> <p>I like MaisyMay's suggestion for listing where you are registered! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505316 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:12:23 +0000 tororojo 505316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Just about everyone stuck to my registry and I think part of what helped was keeping it pretty concise, mainly just essential stuff. I also spread the word that our apt. is tiny and we don't have room for lots of random crap. Since you're moving, surely people will take that into account! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505308 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:10:08 +0000 Arden 505308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: I don't know, I thought it would be harder but I just call her she around my husband and "it" around everyone else. I haven't slipped up yet!<br /> I hate pink and blue, and I wanted everything neutral anyway, so hopefully my sneaky plan works out. hehe </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505304 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:09:01 +0000 Arden 505304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Yeah, she's throwing it for me. It is my only shower and I do REALLY want people to stick to the registries, but not at the risk of offending anyone. I'm trying to find another phrasing to suggest to my sister that's a little more subtle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505303 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:07:40 +0000 Smurfette 505303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Impressive! We do have a lot of pink clothes, but I love pink. I did keep gear, bottle, etc as neutral as I could in case the the next one is a boy. How do you keep from referring the baby as she? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505300 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:06:04 +0000 Arden 505300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Yeah, no one knows that we know. Hopefully this will avoid an avalanche of pink... :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505297 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:05:32 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 505297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I live in the south where it is apparently totally unacceptable to even breathe a word about your registry or ask for any sort of gift (oh we have registries, it is just verboten to actually discuss them....), so I personally wouldn't do anything and let the word-of-mouth do the trick. If she really, really wants something on the invite itself, I'd end it after the second line (about the diapers). The rest threatens to read as insulting to old ladies and other easily-insulted people....so I guess it depends on the type of folks you are inviting!</p> <p>In my experience, most things are returnable even without a receipt. I'd rather return disposable diapers and other unwanted items than risk hurt feelings, but I also am not as tied to the organic lifestyle so I don't mind buying stuff at Walmart, Target, etc., with the money I would get back on a giftcard from returns....</p> <p>Is this her only shower? If it were, I would feel more comfortable with the message, because that means she is really relying on the gifts. We had a few showers, so we ended up with a lot to exchange/take back and had the luxury of being choosy.</p> <p>EDIT: Oh I thought it was your sis that was having the baby! LOL! If you are uncomfortable I would have her change it for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505295 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:05:29 +0000 Mrsbells 505295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @MaisyMay: I think just that one sentence is enough </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505292 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:03:58 +0000 autumnlove 505292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaisyMay: I agree! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505291 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:03:50 +0000 Smurfette 505291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @MaisyMay: </p> <p>@Arden: Did you not tell your family what you are having? I don't know how you could do that! I am having a hard enough time keeping the name a secret, no way I could kept the gender. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505280 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:00:42 +0000 MaisyMay 505280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably get rid of "They have several registries with plenty of items to choose from, so please keep this in mind if you choose to send them a baby shower gift" and just say "The happy parents are registered at ______, _________, and ___________." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/shower-etiquette-question#post-505271 Tue, 15 Jan 2013 11:56:21 +0000 Arden 505271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My little sister throwing a baby shower for me and is setting up a website for it right now, and she's asking me for my input. She's only 17, so she's not really sure of the etiquette involved.</p> <p>I'm questioning this one part here - </p> <p>"Her baby is due around March 19, 2013 and Arden and her husband have decided to keep the gender a surprise.<br /> They have also made the decision to cloth diaper their baby, so they won't be needing any disposable diapers or wipes! :)<br /> In general they have carefully created their registries with a gender neutral, natural, and organic style, and also with their upcoming international move in mind.<br /> They have several registries with plenty of items to choose from, so please keep this in mind if you choose to send them a baby shower gift. Thank you for thinking of them!" (registries are all linked below this)</p> <p>I appreciate the effort to get people to stick to the registry, but does this come across as rude?</p> <p>If I ask her to change it, I need to give her a replacement phrasing, so any help with that would be appreciated. </p>