https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 01:46:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1927895 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 19:09:46 +0000 MamaCate 1927895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You all made me feel so much better about holding my ground on this--thanks ladies!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926910 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 09:36:47 +0000 lamariniere 1926910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I figured that the double gift giving would really be reserved for a very close friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926853 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 09:06:49 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1926853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: for a close friend that lived a plane ride away I sent a shower gift, and gave her a wedding gift, but I went to her wedding. If at the last minute I wasn't able to attend her wedding I would have sent her a wedding gift too. When I received the shower invite I called and asked her which event was more important that I attend. She picked her wedding so I sent a gift.</p> <p>Now, a not so close friend or cousin that I hadn't planned on hopping on a plane to attend their wedding would only receive a timely RSVP- No. In this case: No shower gift or wedding gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926847 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 09:01:33 +0000 lawbee11 1926847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would send a gift for the wedding but not the shower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926842 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:59:59 +0000 blackbird 1926842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: I only do for people I am legitimately close to and could not make the shower (but wanted to!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926837 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:54:14 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1926837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: ha ha yes...this! </p> <p>They weren't expecting you to attend, so no need to send a gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926835 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:53:41 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1926835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would send a gift for the wedding, but not the shower if you aren't close to the cousin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926831 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:51:13 +0000 loveisstrange 1926831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: absolutely. Maybe just send a card? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926826 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:48:04 +0000 blackbird 1926826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably wouldn't send a shower gift, too. especially if it was prefaced with something like "well we don't want you to feel left out". Yep, that's why you should invite people </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926825 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:47:48 +0000 MamaCate 1926825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: I haven't seen her in 15 years except for my brother's wedding 3 years ago.</p> <p>@loveisstrange: I agree, but I am not sure traditional etiquette counts on being invited from across the country for just a shower, you know? If we were close I would definitely be more inclined to send something.</p> <p>Sometimes I am tempted to just send something little since it would get my mom off my back but there are a lot more cousins to get married in the future so I kind of want to avoid the precedent! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926817 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:43:18 +0000 loveisstrange 1926817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think "traditional" ettiquette is that you should send a gift if you are invited.</p> <p>Honestly though? I probably wouldn't for the shower and just send a wedding gift too. Seems reasonable to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926816 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:42:43 +0000 lamariniere 1926816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it really depends on how close you feel to the family member. I have tons of cousins, but am not close to any of them. I think I would do what you are planning to do, send a wedding gift, and that's it. </p> <p>Do people normally give a shower gift AND a wedding gift?! (No one I know gets married, so I have no idea about the etiquette). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/showerwedding-gifts-for-very-extended-family#post-1926814 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 08:38:37 +0000 MamaCate 1926814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am curious about how others handle this type of situation, so I will try to keep this short.</p> <p>Background: I am the oldest cousin of about 20 first cousins on my dad's side. We grew up seeing these kids 1-2x a year as everyone was scattered all over the country. I see a few aunts and cousins occasionally on this side but not in the past 3 years or so.</p> <p>Current situation: one of my cousins is getting married next year on the east coast and I was just invited to a shower for her in NY. We live in the southwest. I emailed to RSVP no and my aunt was very sweet about saying she just wanted us to feel included. But when I talked with my mom yesterday (who is also not local) she said she was invited, was planning to send a gift, and seemed concerned that I was not going to. I will send a wedding present, but I don't feel obligated to send a shower gift in this circumstance. Would you?</p> <p>And, how do you generally handle this is you have a big extended family? </p>