https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 09:39:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/siblings-wont-own-up#post-2775831 Wed, 27 Sep 2017 09:09:20 +0000 josina 2775831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with ElbieKay, I think the easiest thing to do would be to assign chores/days, that way it doesn't matter who made the mess, one of them is responsible for cleaning it regardless. Alternate days, or alternate chores - (one does the dishes/counters, one sweeps the floors).</p> <p>My stepdaughter's chores for the last 6 years (she's 14) have been putting the dishes away and sweeping the floor when she gets home from school. She also helps wash dishes/clean up after supper. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/siblings-wont-own-up#post-2775740 Tue, 26 Sep 2017 20:11:08 +0000 maddyz 2775740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Somehow my mom could always tell who left the mess. I have no idea how. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/siblings-wont-own-up#post-2775738 Tue, 26 Sep 2017 20:06:23 +0000 ElbieKay 2775738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Assign them days when they are individually responsible for the state of the kitchen before they leave for school. Whoever's responsible for that day gets a carrot/stick. Rotate days. They can either hold each other accountable or take turns doing the dishes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/siblings-wont-own-up#post-2775649 Tue, 26 Sep 2017 13:29:48 +0000 erinbaderin 2775649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you get them each their own identifiable plate/cutlery (maybe from the dollar store) and tell them they have to use that? Although I don't really know how you'd enforce that if you weren't around - you'd have to take away all the regular plates. </p> <p>Or maybe make the consequences more drastic so there's more incentive to not suffer the repercussions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/siblings-wont-own-up#post-2775634 Tue, 26 Sep 2017 12:30:47 +0000 gingerbebe 2775634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would assign specific tasks. It doesn't have to be the same tasks each time, but in the moment I would say you're in charge of putting the bread and PB and jelly back, you are in charge of putting the plate and knife in the sink. Each person can make their own sandwich and each person clears their own plate after eating. It would be very kind if you helped each other out with these tasks (for example, maybe one of you could offer to take the other's plate too), but at the very least you must complete your own tasks. </p> <p>Something like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/siblings-wont-own-up#post-2775626 Tue, 26 Sep 2017 12:05:14 +0000 Mamaof2 2775626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ae2: This happens all the time with my 6 and 9 yr old.</p> <p>When both are blaming the other they have to sit on the step until they decide who needs to clean the mess/ pickup the dishes/ put away the toys, etc.</p> <p>Eventually one of them just says "Fine I'll do it" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/siblings-wont-own-up#post-2775625 Tue, 26 Sep 2017 11:56:40 +0000 ae2 2775625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Please help!</p> <p>My kids are a bit older, but this problem applies to younger kids too I imagine, and I haven't been able to find any advice in parenting books/online.</p> <p>My oldest is good about cleaning up after himself in the morning (breakfast, lunch-making), but the younger two (10 and 8) always leave a huge mess for me to clean up. I know they're capable of washing their own dishes and putting away the lunch making supplies, because they do it if I'm standing over them. But now that I have a new baby and am usually nursing in the morning it's harder to be there at the exact moment, plus I hate nagging.</p> <p>I have tried setting a consequence for leaving a mess, but the problem is, they both blame each other. They both regularly make messes so it really could be either of them, or sometimes both. They've realized that if they blame each other, poor Mom gets stuck cleaning up the mess.</p> <p>I've tried giving consequences to both of them if neither owns up, but that just encourages them not to do it in the first place. Each kid assumes the other won't clean up, and doesn't want to clean up AND get consequences, so neither of them bother. And my goal is to get them to actually wash their darn peanut-buttery knives and plates, not to punish them, so that doesn't feel good to me.</p> <p>What do you all do when you can't figure out which sibling to hold accountable for something? </p>