https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 09:40:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-755469 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:35:42 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 755469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: oh and he is afraid of the rain...the dog not DH. He hasn't ever said he wants me to get rid of him but everything he says about him leads me to that assumption. When I told him about the ad he didn't argue about it just said I couldn't be mad at him for it. I'm sooooo not getting rid of him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-755450 Wed, 01 May 2013 19:24:24 +0000 yoursilverlining 755450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He has a dog, he used to like/tolerate the cat and just wants you to get rid of your cat now because he's changed his mind? Oh hells naw man. Unless the cat is actually harming you/DH/LO there is no way I would get rid of the cat I had for 7 years because my partner decided they don't like the cat anymore. Sorry, but he signed on for a package deal. </p> <p>As others have said, cats are not stupid. They are social creatures too, and if he is antagonizing the cat he is most certainly going to get a (negative) reaction. That isn't on the cat, it's on the person antagonizing them. </p> <p>I don't think anyone can "win" this situation, especially not the cat who doesn't even understand what has changed. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-755397 Wed, 01 May 2013 18:40:02 +0000 ladybee 755397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with @MrsCB, "I love my husband more than anything, but if he made me give up my dog I'd kind of hate him for it." </p> <p>We rescued our dog after getting married but it was a huge fight because DH would be happy not having pets and I can not live without a pet. It breaks my heart. Our dog has helped me through the loss of our pregnancy, infertility, the sudden loss of our family dog, and everything else life throws your way. I could not give him up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-755391 Wed, 01 May 2013 18:35:26 +0000 blackbird 755391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he has a dog, this is a two way street!!</p> <p>In regards to the litter box, my doc ok'd me to clean it if I wore gloves and those masks that people wear when they are sick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-755384 Wed, 01 May 2013 18:30:10 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 755384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE! His dog barks at EVERYTHING, busts through our screen door to get at rabbits, has chewed the leg on our brand new dinning room table &amp; countless rugs, blankets, and pillows (really bad puppy faze), has peed and pooped in the house, is constantly under foot, and chasing our other dog so he can hump her! Jumps all over us &amp; guests, has destroyed our yard, my flowers, and leaves his poop scattered all over the yard (which DH has only ever picked up once). </p> <p>HELLO! He can put up with my damn cat. His dog is just as bad if not worse and I have never complained or even hinted at wanting him gone, because that's what happens when you own an animal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754567 Wed, 01 May 2013 12:02:05 +0000 mediagirl 754567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm not into 'getting rid' of pets for behavioral "issues." We had to find a new home for my cat because of my husband's allergies but my Mom took him. I knew he was going to a good home and a place I would be able to visit him, as well. It made our home a safe place for my husband to live and be able to breathe without struggling.</p> <p>Our dog is a serious PITA and ever since the baby came around it's worse because a. we have less tolerance for her and b. she's begging for attention b/c the baby takes some (a lot) of the attention she used to get. I can't imagine getting rid of her because of it, though. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754551 Wed, 01 May 2013 11:54:52 +0000 Sophia 754551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me so sad for you. We are both so attached to our 2 cats. I can't imagine giving them away for any reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754479 Wed, 01 May 2013 11:18:24 +0000 bunnylove08 754479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH hates my cat. He said he's unnecessary. When Ozzy does something DH always shoots me a look. Our cat is very affectionate and meows a lot and since I'm always with DD, Ozzy goes to DH and it pisses him off. </p> <p>Well I won, our DD LOVES our cat. Seriously LOVES our cat. She squeels when she sees him and tries to pet him. Our cat is bonded to our dog (not sure if she feels the same way) but I told my DH that he would die without her. When she goes for walks he stands by the door and does a low meow for her and I love him. So DH is out numbered and he can complain all he wants but the cat is not going anywhere. When he leaves his clothes out I tell him you better move it or Ozzy will lay on it. He's been putting his stuff away after he got cat hair all over his black shirt and yelled at the cat I said to him, hes a cat, he sleeps on everything, thats your fault </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754470 Wed, 01 May 2013 11:14:31 +0000 irene 754470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sorry for the cat :(((((( I hope he/she can find a good home...</p> <p>I vowed to myself before/ during I was pregnant that my love to my cat will not change. Even though it did somewhat (My cat got demoted from being my baby to just a pet since LO was born), I still find time to be with him and cuddle with him. Thank God DH is the same. My cat went through so much with me I can not imagine giving him up in a million years. </p> <p>I had my cat before I met DH. If DH disliked cats/ my cat, well, that would have been the end of me and him :)</p> <p>Unfortunately my cat dislikes LO though, he will never hang out with us if LO is up. Poor thing. </p> <p>Best wishes to you, and I hope your cat finds a good home.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754463 Wed, 01 May 2013 11:12:56 +0000 avivoca 754463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: Perhaps you could work out a schedule for cleaning the litter box? Prior to my BFP, I cleaned the box on even days and he cleaned it on odd days. Another thing that helped with the smell (especially now that they go a couple of days without being scooped) was switching from clay litter to pine litter (the shavings, not the pellets). Feline Pine is a good brand, but I get generic pine litter from the pet store.</p> <p>As for scooping the box while pregnant, I'm going to have to do that while my husband is traveling for work, so you'll need to wear a dust mask and gloves.</p> <p>I understand some of where he's coming from. It was a big adjustment for me in getting a dog last year. I just hate that he is making you feel like re-homing the cat is the only option rather than compromising or modifying his behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754445 Wed, 01 May 2013 11:06:12 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 754445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: and my point of view is just as you stated, I adopted him &amp; its my responsibility to provide him a loving &amp; caring home...for as long as he's a live. Its my fur baby I've had him for 7 years &amp; his behaviors are normal. The cat can tell he doesn't like him or knows when he is in trouble cause he runs from him. They feed off each other. Like the two grumpy old men in the movie Grumpy old men! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754432 Wed, 01 May 2013 11:02:05 +0000 MsLipGloss 754432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: When you are pg, you won't be allowed to go near the litter box. : /</p> <p>@MamaMoose: I certainly understand a shift in feelings and reduced patience ( I have two kitties, and one has done some naughty things since LO arrived), but antagonizing an animal . . . *meh* I've already said too much. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754413 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:55:27 +0000 MamaMoose 754413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can say that one's feelings can definitely change towards a pet. My patience for my dog's antics has gotten waaaaaay lower since having our LO. It always annoyed me that he would bark at the doorbell, but now it pisses me off to no end because it wakes the baby. His shedding is more annoying because it gets on her stuff, I hate it when he licks her face, etc, etc. Not to mention I'm going to have to spend $3K on freaking dog ACL surgery that could be going to LO's college fund. But I got a dog and it's my responsiblity to provide a loving and caring home for him as long as he's alive. So I just wanted to say I really can see your husband's side of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754407 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:53:29 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 754407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I already resent him for the position he has put me in. He hasn't asked me to get rid of him but he has no problem telling me how much he dislikes the cat &amp; can't wait to be a cat free home.</p> <p>@MsLipGloss: maybe its that I have a hard time remembering to clean the box? Even though we agreed that he could have the basement as his man cave as long as he took care of the animals. Which means cleaning out the box that he has only ever done once. Even though he agreed to it. Who knows! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754402 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:52:16 +0000 mrskc 754402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no! There has to be a resolution with out getting rid of the cat. Otherwise, you're just going to resent him. I bet the cat is picking up on his demeanor and that's not helping. </p> <p>But I understand about not wanting to fight with DH over a cat! Our cat was what caused all our arguments for a long time. My mom bought be a cat while I was looking for work. He kept me company during the day when I was feeling down about being unemployed. My DH is NOT a pet person, but I grew up with cats in the house. It was ok when the cat just stayed inside, because the cat was nice and clean. Well... I picked the absolute worst cat from the SPCA. I think he was a ferrell cat b/c he did not do well being cooped up in the house. He bit me in the face. I should have gotten rid of him then, but I didn't. So we started letting the cat outside and we installed cat doors. Then my DH really started to hate the cat b/c he was so dirty! And then he started spraying in our house. Then he kept getting into fights with other cats and at one point got an infection. We had to keep him inside for a month while it healed. It was a mess. Then the cat started shitting in his bed. So we finally compromised and the cat now just stays outside all the time. The cat seems to be doing better with that anyways. It was better than DH's solution of driving him somewhere and dumping him. :/ and the cat has a microchip. Blah! Sorry for my long story. Anyways, I hope you guys can come up with a compromise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754368 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:40:36 +0000 avivoca 754368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: @MsLipGloss: I agree with you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754316 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:25:52 +0000 MsLipGloss 754316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: It sounds like there is something else bothering your DH . . . because really, it is his behavior that is out of line. </p> <p>@blackbird: I agree! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754275 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:11:47 +0000 blackbird 754275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well I wouldn't get rid of my cats because DH suddenly decides he doesn't like cats. The cat isn't doing anythjng unusual and your DH is now antagonizing it and I bet your cat knows it and is getting testy. Sorry but my pets were a package deal when we got married and it doesn't sound like he has a valid reason for you to give away your pet. I wouldn't do it and honestly, as much joy as my cats bring me, I don't think DH would ever e ok with me getting rid of them. I would resent him big time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754272 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:10:28 +0000 ShootingStar 754272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love my husband more than anything, but if he made me give up my dog I'd kind of hate him for it. I think part of what made me fall in love with him was watching love her more and more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754238 Wed, 01 May 2013 09:54:33 +0000 Cherrybee 754238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no, I'm sorry you feel you have to rehome your cat. It does sound as though she is just being a cat!! Cats shed and puke. I hope you can either find a lovely new home for her or come to some sort of agreement that enables you to keep her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754147 Wed, 01 May 2013 09:08:39 +0000 Bookish 754147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was your DH at the beginning of my marriage! My DH had (has) this horrible, untrained, unfixed cat, and she would pee on all of my things and had scratched his furniture all to hell. She would hiss or bite me every time I came near her. The worst fights I had with him were over this cat. And she sounds WAY worse than yours! We both eventually *won* in that we kept her, but I made him get her fixed and she sleeps in the garage so she doesn't keep us up with her yowling.</p> <p>It sucks though, that your cat is just a normally behaving cat and your DH still hates it. :( It's a rough situation to be in. I guess you both just need to sit down and weigh your priorities. Is it worth fighting all the time if you can have your cat? Is it worth it to your DH to get rid of the cat if he will feel guilty about it forever? </p> <p>I'm sorry I don't have better advice, but I do know how much it sucks to fight over a darn cat!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-754074 Wed, 01 May 2013 08:33:46 +0000 lomom 754074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate DH's dog and I wish he'd get rid of it. She's downright vicious though. When we brought LO home, the dog nearly tore off our other dog's ear (the other dog got between her and DH). I would LOVE for this dog to be out of my life. </p> <p>She's starting to drive DH up a wall. She's constantly jumping on him and snarls when anyone comes near. Hopefully a new home is in her near future, before LO starts crawling/walking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-753987 Wed, 01 May 2013 07:29:09 +0000 heffalump 753987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me sad :( It's hard for me to put myself in this situation because our pup was originally DH's, and when we first met it was quite obvious that the dog came first and if I didn't like him I'd go. Luckily I love him. </p> <p>But I do hope that now that we're married I would come before the dog. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-753624 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:35:30 +0000 tequiero21 753624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As much as I wouldn't want to get rid of my dog, my family comes first. So if dh is not happy and it's causing problems, I'd get rid of the cat. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-753615 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:28:40 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 753615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@evansjamie: I don't the behaviors as big problems either but it is causing big problems in our relationship. He really gets mad at the cat. I'm having a hard time dealing with my husbands behaviors. Its a little dramatic if you ask me. </p> <p>My mom bought me that cat when I injured my back. He was great company during the 3 months I was off work recovering. Shes not going to be happy when she finds out. Cat greats me at the door everyday when I come home with this tiny peep of a meow. Its going to break my heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-753565 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:02:17 +0000 avivoca 753565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry that this is happening!Personally, I would not get rid of the cat. He's just being a cat! They shed, sometimes they puke, they knock stuff over just like us. But, I am a pet person and I grew up with cats and dogs, so I don't see those behaviors as a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-753549 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:55:40 +0000 mrsjazz 753549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am your DH! I hate our cats. I used to like them but I have put up with their behavioral issues, done the suggestions made by the vet, and my like grew to hatred when our daughter was born and we downsized the apartment. </p> <p>We still have them and I know this is going to sound horrible but DH wants to start trying again for baby number 2 but I said not.until.those demons are gone. So, I will eventually win. I was worried about resentment but the cats are starting to annoy him, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-fighting-over-the-cat#post-753537 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:46:06 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 753537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH use to love cat now he hates him because he is a cat. He gets into stuff, sheds, likes to lay on whatever you are reading or trying to do &amp; knocks stuff over sometimes. Oh and he pukes occasionally. If he would just let him do his thing it wouldn't be that big of a deal but they bicker back &amp; forth! He shoes the cat and the cat darts off, hisses &amp; ends up knocking stuff over. He comes back &amp; does it again &amp; again. Oh and he likes to sleep on clothes. WELL THEN PUT YOUR F-ING CLOTHES AWAY! </p> <p>Right?</p> <p>I put an ad up on FB &amp; DH thinks its wrong for me to be upset with him, its not his fault. Well if it wasn't for DH hating my cat I wouldn't be getting rid of him! I'm just sick of him HATING the cat. I don't know what else to do other than get rid of him.</p> <p>How have you settled this in the past? Who won? </p>