https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 21:41:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1271826 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 13:31:41 +0000 jedeve 1271826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>HATE!</p> <p>Not helpful: "Oh, haha, you'll never sleep again!"<br /> Helpful: "The sleep deprivation in the first 6 weeks is rough, but it starts getting better after that."</p> <p>Not helpful: "You'll never get your body back!"<br /> Helpful: "Don't worry about the weight loss for the first few months. You'll eventually have the energy to do things again!"</p> <p>My mom is the BIGGEST "just you wait"-er ever. I eventually declared my pregnancy a "negative free zone" because I couldn't take it. </p> <p>Here's my debbie downer, though - Unfortunately, it doesn't stop after pregnancy. Then it's the "just you wait till they crawl." "just you wait till they walk." "just you wait till they get teeth and bite you." "just you wait till they drive."</p> <p>I think mom-hood has it's traumatic moments, and women feel like they are part of this club and deal with it by joking about the horribly rough parts (cause there are some.) But they don't get us newbies haven't been there yet and can't relate/joke about it yet. People do it to feel superior, and to reflect on their own experiences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266759 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 11:43:28 +0000 Brassgiraffe 1266759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Fox: that's perfect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266745 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 11:33:06 +0000 Dandelion 1266745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"just you wait" people are going to have a comeback from me that'll make them feel horrible. I haven't had any, yet, because I think everyone knows better this time around! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266391 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 23:20:07 +0000 Aimed 1266391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@merbaby14: some people just love to be negative especially in a positive situation, it says more about them really than anything else. Everyone's experience is different so their rant may not even affect you. I always found two replies good in these situations 1. Hmm, why would you say that to me? Or 2. I'm sorry your experience has been so horrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266384 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 23:15:39 +0000 indi 1266384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shellio: As someone with some 3rd tri insomnia, the get your sleepers make me want to throat punch them. I WOULD IF I COULD. Grrr. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266382 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 23:14:42 +0000 googly-eyes 1266382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BeachMama: Haha, I hate that one too. If you're going through a rough spot it doesn't make it any better to know that in a few years it'll be better, and if you're in a great moment it doesn't help anyone to dwell on the fact that all good things come to an end. I just don't get that comment!! But of course I just ignore ignore ignore... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266375 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 23:07:40 +0000 BeachMama 1266375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree. I also hate the "they grow up so fast" type of comments. For one, it's been said.....4 million times. For two, I'm just trying to enjoy the moment with DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266362 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 22:58:25 +0000 Mrs. Fox 1266362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just you wait... Until you fall madly in love! It's gonna be awesome. Congratulations!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1266243 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 21:09:29 +0000 googly-eyes 1266243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only time I'm tempted to give "just you wait" like comments is when ftms are totally delusional and/or making know it all comments. Other people might just be giving you a heads up to enjoy this time because life is about to change more than a lot if parents to be imagine and thats normal. (of course it depends on the baby you get and your lifestyle too...) And others are purposely being a pain. In any of the above cases I don't think it's worth an argument you really can't "win." Just keep moving on and know that you are in an amazing stage of life and despite the fact that there seem to be TONS of know it all moms out there, we are all the same, just learning as we go! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265905 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 16:06:54 +0000 deerylou 1265905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I wrote something similar when I was pregnant. Like others have said, people like to project their insecurities and negative experiences.</p> <p>Things definitely change once you have a baby, but if you're not a bikini model who regularly cruises the bar scene, your lifestyle is going to be far from devastated. </p> <p>Some people have a rough go at it, while others sail through the "hellish" first months. It's really the luck of the draw, and there are no guarantees on either side of the coin.</p> <p>I had a pretty good pregnancy - no stretch marks, no tummy sag, and only a slightly weird belly button towards the end, but I went to nearly 42 weeks. I'll admit, labor is rough, so prepare thyself. But I certainly managed just fine, and I'd do it again, in a heartbeat!</p> <p>My kid rules, and being a mom is overwhelmingly awesome. Some days suck, but they sucked before baby, too. Be positive, and focus on the good. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265885 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 15:53:45 +0000 shellio 1265885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh I was so sick of the "just wait" comments. I just tried to ignore them. The other thing I hated was "you should sleep now" type comments. I always make a point of telling pregnant women how wonderful it is being a mom, and they always seem surprised and appreciative. It is!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265869 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 15:45:45 +0000 Greentea 1265869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is interesting. Any kind of negativity is annoying in my book. It is like... look you are not me! People tend to project sometimes. I actually heard so many negative things from a group of women long before I even met dh and I can say in all sincerity it is soooo much better than anything I ever could have imagined! Lo is worth anything even negative annoyances :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265848 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 15:40:24 +0000 sarac 1265848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did, and I hated it! Guess what - I enjoyed pregnancy until past 40 weeks - so pretty much all of it. I always felt beautiful, never had too much pain, and pretty much felt good or at least ok the whole time.</p> <p>This happens! It might even happen to you! But regardless, I'm not going to rain all over your parade by JUST WAIT-ing you. So rude! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265631 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:13:46 +0000 Anagram 1265631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: I think I had more people tell me only positive things, too! LOTS of people told me they "loved" being pregnant, which made me a little sad because I had an awful time being pregnant. I loved hearing other people's BAD experiences because it made me feel more normal. hehe.</p> <p>@merbaby14: I didn't get this too much, but the 1-2 times I did I just genuinely tried to appreciate what they were saying. I saw like...6 movies with my husband in the month before I gave birth because one of my coworkers gave me the old, "just you wait, you'll never go to a theater again" comment. And I was glad I went because, sure enough...after giving birth, I realized it was going to be a while before I got a change to go to a movie in a theater again (for the record--we have managed it once when we had family in town that could watch LO). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265611 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:07:28 +0000 artsyfartsy 1265611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>PREACH </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265609 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:06:05 +0000 merbaby14 1265609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: Right on - I love hearing the positives and wish more people would pay at least as much attention to those as the difficulties. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265257 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 12:23:26 +0000 mrs. wagon 1265257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@merbaby14: oh my. I hate justwaiters too! Fwiw, my weight came off at the same rate after my second! Not everyone lives to make everyone else as miserable as them ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265223 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 12:10:57 +0000 mrsjyw 1265223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UGH. i HATED "just you waiters" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265220 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 12:10:31 +0000 mjane 1265220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agreed. Which is why I say to all my pregnant friends "I personally find having a baby way more fun than being pregnant!" Which is the truth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265212 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 12:06:52 +0000 Vegmama 1265212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally agree. I hate unsolicited advice ... especially when I'm really trying to enjoy my pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265181 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 11:51:49 +0000 Crisark 1265181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eh, I don't really think people are necessarily trying to be a 'debbie downer' in all honestly what they are saying is true. And, if you don't want to hear the truth that's not exactly their problem you know?<br /> That's not meant to be nasty I promise. It's just my point is, they may sound snooty or snarky about it because they do probably 'know it all' or close to it from experience. So, if anything they want to share to get validation that they've survived something, albeit unpleasant but survived nonetheless, that you will be going through.<br /> IMO, I'd say take it all with a grain of salt or just brush it off as harmless.<br /> Being annoyed won't make the comments stop or make them any less true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265163 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 11:44:54 +0000 Modern Daisy 1265163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved being PG and I love being a Mom and I also get a little annoyed by the debbie downers, both men and women. It's like people like to go straight to the downsides of having kids. Yes, there are some, but um.. there are mostly upsides so why are we trying to upset everyone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265093 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 11:24:18 +0000 sandy 1265093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had the opposite problem - everyone only told me great things or left out bad experiences (especially breast feeding) so when i had a breakdown when my milk wasn't coming in everyone started telling me it was so tough for them and I was like "why didn't you tell me this?!?!" And they said they didn't want to scare me. I much prefer to hear everything - good and bad - so I can be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. I am that crazy person that says "I don't want to scare you and I'm sure it's going to be amazing for you but for me ..." Bc I know I would want to know. Of course this is only to women so ask and are close friends </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265081 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 11:18:22 +0000 Rescuemom10 1265081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I HATE "Just you wait"....such a dumb comment because THANKS I CAN WAIT!!!<br /> I feel you, I hated that so much when I was PG...<br /> Everyone is different. Every PG and every LO is different.<br /> I never do that to PG women or friends. I feel like its there way of taking the spotlight off of "you" to complain or bring it on them.<br /> I think they genuinly dont mean to...but there is just no need for those comments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1265074 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 11:16:42 +0000 Foodnerd81 1265074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was lucky and didn't have too many of those people. I like @Mae: 's response-- too late, so back off! </p> <p>The grand canyon belly button comment did make me laugh though-- I had never heard that and my belly button looked SO weird! But I'm only 4 months pp and it already looks back to normal, so fear not :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1264974 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 10:53:39 +0000 MrsKoala 1264974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll never understand why people have to try to scare pregnant women about how horrible everything is after you have a baby. People delight in telling me about their awful labors, how hard it is to get your body back, etc. I get the idea that you want to give me realistic expectations but I don't need your fear mongering, thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1264970 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 10:52:54 +0000 Mae 1264970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't experienced people purposefully trying to be debbie downers to me, but when my mom friends are complaining about something particularly horrendous sometimes I'll say something like "Hey-- pregnant lady with no way out over here, let's not freak me out more than necessary mmkay?" and usually they laugh it off and tell me its all totally worth it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1264964 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 10:51:41 +0000 autumnlove 1264964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just you waiters annoy me! Sorry...try to ignore it as much as possible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-of-negative-comments-from-moms#post-1264951 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 10:48:06 +0000 merbaby14 1264951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't get me wrong - a good honest heads up about some things to expect when expecting can be helpful..BUT...</p> <p>It's really starting to annoy me when women around me who are parents always seem to find the negative to bring up! I could be talking about how good I'm feeling (I'm 24 weeks) and then the "just waits" or "appreciate it while you cans" cap off the conversation. </p> <p>Things like:<br /> Just wait until your belly button becomes the Grand Canyon, your weight may bounce back after the first but the second is impossible, enjoy your brunches now while you can, etc.</p> <p>Can't we just let our pregnant friends enjoy the moment!? We already know it's not going to always be pretty and easy. </p> <p>Does anyone else feel this way? How do you deal with those people? </p>