https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 23:44:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917486 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 20:07:32 +0000 Mama Bird 2917486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone. I definitely can't tell an 85-year-old who lives an hour away to turn around and go home. And maybe she did feel fine in the morning and didn't realize she was sick. It happens. I do wish she'd said "oh, I think I'm coming down with something, let me keep my mask on!" Well, lesson learned - no more visits indoors except with my parents (I know they're being careful). And even those visits will have to end soon - I think it will be too risky for the extended family once school starts in September.</p> <p>@alphagam84: it means "am I the jerk here?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917484 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 18:54:13 +0000 MoonMoon 2917484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. Your reaction was understated, if you ask me! If I had a cough and sniffles, I'd feel so bad and self-conscious about being at a gathering like that. I'd definitely not be trying to hug people or huffing about feeling unwelcome. This is why I'm not comfortable with gatherings and won't be for a long time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917482 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 17:31:02 +0000 ElbieKay 2917482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are not the asshole. She is the asshole, and you should have kicked her out of the house as soon as you noticed her symptoms.</p> <p>I got into a fight with my MIL two weeks ago because she broke our quarantine rules and entered our house. We were having a barbecue on our nicely shaded, comfortable porch, and she went in because she wanted to see our new rug. I started yelling at her and my husband. She got offended and called me an asshole. (Literally.) So I told her if she can't follow my rules she does not need to spend time with me or my family, and I un-invited her to my twins' 2nd birthday party which was this past weekend.</p> <p>Honestly, I don't respect my MIL based on how I see her make decisions coupled with many details I know about my husband's childhood. I don't trust her with my kids, so my parents get way more grandchildren access than she does. There is an uncomfortable imbalance in our relationship which pre-dates COVID because of this. I hate having a MIL that kicks in my mama bear instincts.</p> <p>But that does not mean I will not enforce my boundaries. My family's health and safety is more important to me than her feelings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917477 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 15:22:09 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2917477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have told her to mask up, not you! I think these situations are difficult and I understand not knowing how to react. We even had an incident at work with a patient coughing all over the place and my coworker didn’t know what to do so just let her stay. I think it’s the fear of offending someone and we’ve normalized being sick around others before all this so we don’t want to feel like we are calling people out all the time. So no, you aren’t the asshole at all. Since she’s DH aunt, he should have told her she would need to leave or at least wear a mask and stay outside 6ft+ away from you all. If this was me it would be a learning experience to either not have indoor visits so you aren’t put in this situation again, or putting aside your discomfort and being able to team up to tell people to leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917473 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 14:47:36 +0000 alphagam84 2917473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What does AITA mean?</p> <p>In my opinion (not judging), you didn't do enough. I would have kicked her out of the house immediately and would have body blocked her from touching my kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917462 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 10:53:09 +0000 JJ2626 2917462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: No! I would have flat out told her to leave as soon as I saw her runny nose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917460 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 10:45:12 +0000 periwinklebee 2917460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all an overreaction. Stories like this really make me want to just lock myself in my house. It is incredibly inconsiderate at this time to go out for an optional social visit if you're sick, regardless of how much the person feels it is just a cold! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917458 Mon, 20 Jul 2020 10:10:23 +0000 nwm 2917458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She's the asshole. No matter what you're ill with, having symptoms right now and still socializing is completely unacceptable. I honestly would have asked her to leave the second she said she felt bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917450 Sun, 19 Jul 2020 23:32:20 +0000 DesertDreams88 2917450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way, I totally would have been scrambling to try to figure out a way to get her to leave!! My gosh! I probably would have been really direct and said like, " um, you seem sick and it's making me uncomfortable, so could we at least move outside?" And hope that would've made her leave fully. I'm sorry that happened, that sucks. I hope it was just a regular cold. Ugh.</p> <p>FWIW, we've told everyone that our personal rule is no indoor visits and we'll be sticking to that for the whole summer. People sometimes slip and forget, but I remind rhem that's our rule for ourselves but we're fully open to outdoors social visits without masks. So, that seems to be a good compromise for everyone in our friend group. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917448 Sun, 19 Jul 2020 23:10:30 +0000 karenbme 2917448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg, I don’t think you were out of line at all. I 100% would have said something and at least asked that she not hug/kiss anyone (FWIW I’ve asked all family members not to kiss our baby right now, sick or not). If you feel like you need to address it and aren’t comfortable drawing a hard line you can frame it as paranoia, but she is DEFINITELY the a**hole. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917447 Sun, 19 Jul 2020 21:34:29 +0000 Chuckles 2917447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh my gosh, I would be so upset!! I can't believe she seemed fine before they got to your house. My reaction would depend on our relationship and DH's relationship with her. I think you were exceedingly nice not to kick her out immediately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sick-visitor-aita#post-2917446 Sun, 19 Jul 2020 20:50:50 +0000 Mama Bird 2917446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I guess this situation was kind of my own fault, but I have no idea how I should have reacted when it happened. AITA?</p> <p>We're in NYC. There are very few coronavirus cases, and they're not going up no matter what unsafe stuff people get up to. In June it finally seemed safe to start seeing my parents, and then we met up with the rest of our small family, outside. We didn't invite anyone over until this weekend, when it's DD's birthday.</p> <p>Today DH had to meet up with his aunt, and then they went to our house together. It was just us, the aunt, and her daughter. The aunt walks in and right away starts coughing, and her nose is streaming the whole time, and she's complaining about feeling bad... I didn't really know how to react, so I went and put my mask on. And kept it on the whole time she was in the house. I told her I was wearing it because I lost a stupid bet, but I don't think she believed me because several times that day, she started hugging and kissing the kids and I think it was obvious I'm pulling them away from her. When she was leaving she said something about feeling unwelcome. I'm sorry about that, but I really had no idea how to react. And I'd be a lot sorrier if DH and I both got sick at the same time and no one could care for the kids.</p> <p>For context - I don't like this aunt very much, but I've never been anything but polite, and I'd have done the same if anyone else came in coughing and sniffling. Also, she's constantly traveling all over the place even when it's unnecessary (and was doing that in March and April too) so who knows what she might have. But DH swears she never coughed once before they got here.</p> <p>I'm glad I'd insisted on not having everyone over at once (my parents and DH's brother came on different days). In hindsight, though, I should have seen this coming and said no to visitors, period.</p> <p>PS for the aunt's sake, I hope it's just a cold!!! </p>