https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 20:11:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910339 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 05:38:17 +0000 Ms. RV 2910339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were super lax about who got to handle our third baby and whether or not they had to wash their hands. Then his one month well visit turned into a lights-and-siren ride to the ER for respiratory distress. I really regret letting him visit for Thanksgiving three days earlier. What was the sniffles for someone else was a two night hospital stay for DS2.</p> <p>Masks would be better than gloves, but I get it. You really can't be too careful during cold and flu season. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910320 Sun, 16 Feb 2020 18:59:00 +0000 Alba4 2910320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was the norm with my family and friends. We’re pro Vaxination though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910279 Sun, 16 Feb 2020 12:45:20 +0000 Mama Bird 2910279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, she probably has an extra helping of anxiety, between being a first time mom, it being the height of the flu season (the vaccine, incidentally, is not 100% effective), and the news (the constant drumbeat about coronavirus is making some people anxious even if they're not really at risk for exposure). So while the gloves thing is over the top, she needs compassion, not judgment. I hope she feels less anxious with time. I remember getting incredibly antsy for the entire first month if visitors got too close to my babies - it was the most uncomfortable feeling! I can't remember when it got better, and in any case that's going to be different for everyone.</p> <p>I also have a friend who told me a few years ago that if anyone in his house comes down with a cold, they walk around in a surgical mask. I was pretty surprised and thought it was over the top. But now that I also have little kids that bring home some pretty powerful gems... I understand his desperation :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910262 Sat, 15 Feb 2020 22:29:20 +0000 PawPrints 2910262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The gloves thing is unusual but doesn't seem like a big deal for everyone to comply with. Maybe she is experiencing anxiety. I had PPA so that's always something I watch out for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910247 Sat, 15 Feb 2020 14:43:07 +0000 cat620 2910247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: The baby is over 2 days old, so I think she would have had a bath by now? But maybe I'm wrong.</p> <p>@oldschooolmama: No, they don't smoke, have no pets, and are in good health. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910244 Sat, 15 Feb 2020 14:31:57 +0000 oldschooolmama 2910244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cat620- are they smokers? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910243 Sat, 15 Feb 2020 14:30:36 +0000 gotkimchi 2910243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cat620: I think our hospital had us do that until the baby had a bath, more for the adults protection </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910237 Sat, 15 Feb 2020 14:07:20 +0000 Jess1483 2910237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cat620: well, that does seem excessive. But also easy to indulge :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2910236 Sat, 15 Feb 2020 13:55:08 +0000 cat620 2910236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: the baby is born, and my in-laws are visiting now. Baby is full-term and healthy, but now my sister-in-law is making everyone (including grandparents) wear medical gloves to hold the baby. That’s something I’ve never seen before </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909813 Sat, 08 Feb 2020 08:43:43 +0000 Jess1483 2909813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: it’s definitely not an exact science. I SAH or kids are with my mom when I work (part time) and the doctor said my boys were immunized, so that was the best we could do. Obviously, it’s not possible for everyone to do, because life. The scary thing about this outbreak was that they said people who had previously been vaccinated were getting it but thought it was just a cold—no tell-tale whoop or anything. So anyone with any sort of cough should not be allowed to see the baby. But they weren’t seeing a ton in younger vaccinated kiddos because it hadn’t worn off. The doc also said if anyone in the family got sick, we’d start her on meds right away. Obviously you can’t protect against everything, but we did all we could and luckily she didn’t get sick. I wouldn’t have been quite so careful if there hadn’t been an outbreak, but for something easy and quick like a vaccine, that extra layer of protection was really important. Luckily, once school let out for summer, the outbreak ended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909811 Sat, 08 Feb 2020 08:10:50 +0000 Becky 2909811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: oof—with older siblings and daycare how does that work? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909808 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 21:00:49 +0000 yellowbeach 2909808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’ll just chime in here to add that fever in a baby &lt;60 days old is a huge deal because it means they need a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) to evaluate for meningitis. We had strict vax rules for those coming to see DD in the NICU and those first few weeks home partially because of this. Even a common cold isn’t common in a neonate. And pertussis is a horrible illness to watch a baby suffer with. Vaccinate or wait. Those were the options we gave and will give again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909806 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 20:07:41 +0000 Jess1483 2909806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: Babies get their first dose at 2 months, so at least that long. We took the babe out and about after that, but not into particularly crowded places (if possible) until the flu vaccine at 6 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909805 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 19:44:58 +0000 MoonMoon 2909805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a reasonable request, and I wish more people would make it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909798 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 12:21:38 +0000 Becky 2909798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just out of curiosity, how long do you typically put this into effect for (until the baby is how many months old)? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909796 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 11:47:46 +0000 Tionn3 2909796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is not an unreasonable request. It's their baby, and it is their responsibility to keep their baby healthy and safe. They have set a boundary that no one should visit their baby if they are unvaccinated. That boundary NEEDS to be respected. Nobody has the right to visit a newborn baby outside of its parents. The flu, Whopping cough, measles, and rubella are no joke. They rely on herd immunity until they reach the age at which they can get a certain vaccination. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909795 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 10:19:55 +0000 periwinklebee 2909795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My OB and ped both explicitly said that no one should hold the baby who doesn't have the flu and tdap shots. My guess is that it is a recommendation of the AAP, AMA, etc to give this advice in the U.S., and hence why so many people make this request of family and/or friends. I think it is perfectly reasonable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine/page/2#post-2909789 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 06:35:17 +0000 Petitduck 2909789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skiierchck99: it’s hit-or/miss recommended in Canada it seems, but does seem to becoming more popular. It was recommended for 2 out of my 3 pregnancies which have all occurred in the last 5 years. </p> <p>I have known about it from this website the whole time. I just made sure my husband and I were up-to-date and that we got the flu shot, but I didn’t ask anyone else to get it. I have only heard about people requesting it on here as well. All my friends have at least two babies and I guess it’s just not a thing here that most people worry about? If it meant not seeing someone and their kid for a long time and I cared about them then I’d just get it if I didn’t have it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909787 Fri, 07 Feb 2020 06:10:43 +0000 skiierchck99 2909787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: my best friend and her husband are from Toronto and she had it and asked all their family to get it. Quick google suggests it is recommended in Canada but maybe it’s more recent? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909779 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 22:58:25 +0000 ALV91711 2909779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: I’m in Canada and I’ve never heard or been recommended anything for shots before either of my boys where born. When I took DS1 for his first shots at 2 months they gave me a booster of something. I don’t remember exactly but it was whatever we had got our last shots in high school for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909767 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 18:29:38 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2909767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eight years ago my husband and I both got the tdap (dtap?) shot at the request of my SIL. And at the time we lived 2.5 hours away. </p> <p>So I don’t think It’s unusual. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909746 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 13:11:25 +0000 DesertDreams88 2909746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: it minimizes risk. It only takes once, but with the close family and babysitters, there are a lot more opportunities for "once" to happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909724 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 09:42:15 +0000 foodiebee 2909724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: Yes, exactly as you've said. </p> <p>We requested that all family coming to see DS after he was born get the Tdap booster and flu. I even paid for my mom to get it because she baulked and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she hadn't had anything in decades. I just heard on the local news of a four year old in our town who died of flu. It's rampant right now where we are. I see no reason not to take these things seriously considering how little effort it takes and how awful the potential ramifications could be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909722 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 09:34:15 +0000 psw27 2909722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cat620: I'm of the mind that it is her baby and her choice. If she feels strongly about it, seems like she has made the best choice for her. </p> <p>I haven't asked my friends if they have TDAP but honestly, I think more people in my age range have it versus older people. I worried more about my in laws who work in school environments (so possible exposure) and are in their 60s-70s &amp; might not be up to date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909717 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 06:59:38 +0000 erinbaderin 2909717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The Tdap vaccine is not, as far as I can tell, really a thing in Canada - I’ve only ever heard of it on these boards - but I don’t fault her for requiring it. I guess I don’t understand why you would draw the line between “people who will spend a lot of time with the baby” and “anyone who wants to hold the baby” - it only takes one exposure, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909716 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 06:45:18 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2909716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an American living abroad and they don't let people come and visit newborns at the hospital here. As in at all. I think it's fantastic! </p> <p>I don't think it's an unusual request these days. It might ruffle some feathers, but in the end, it's worth the precaution -- no one ever intends to get a newborn sick, but it happens. </p> <p>If you don't feel comfortable, then perhaps a delayed visit would work best? Anyone that makes these types of requests should be aware that some people may not be on board. How long would you have to wait until it's OK to visit without the vaccine? A few months? Closer to a year or two? In the end, it's your choice to make. Since you're family, there will be plenty of other opportunities to see each other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909713 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 06:18:56 +0000 annem1990 2909713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m pretty relaxed about germs so this is not a hill to die on for me, but I also understand why it is for others. Getting the vaccine is such a simple thing to do and if it gives the new mom some peace, I don’t see anything wrong with that. She will likely relax as she learns the ropes, but with all the scary stories on the internet I can see why she’d rather just be safe. I’m in a large online group with babies all born in October (when my 2nd was born) and SO many people said they made sure everyone had the vaccine. We all prioritize different things and if this is something she needs to feel comfortable, I don’t see anything wrong with it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909712 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 01:16:01 +0000 helloperidot 2909712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We requested the grandparents get flu, TDAP, and because of local outbreaks of measles, MMR. This was the recommendation given by our pedi and midwifery teams. All but one grandparent complied. She still has not met our two youngest, and likely will not for another couple of years. That's her choice, even if I think she's being selfish (she won't get vaccines because she doesn't believe in science, not for any actual legit reason). It has caused some tension, but I'm going to die on this hill before I'll let my kids die of whooping cough or any other easily preventable disease. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909709 Thu, 06 Feb 2020 00:40:15 +0000 DesertDreams88 2909709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I requested/required the same thing of all close family &amp; babysitters.</p> <p> I also actively avoided 4 friend's families who aren't vaccinated. </p> <p>Almost all of my other friends have become moms in the past 10 years and are seemingly neutral so I hoped that they were vaxxed too, and I knew they'd only being seeing baby 1-2x. So I didn't explicitly "require" it with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sil-says-no-visits-without-vaccine#post-2909706 Wed, 05 Feb 2020 23:44:07 +0000 Nutella 2909706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My second was born in winter and I requested it or my parents (who, looking back, did not comply) - but I didn’t ask others dropping in for a brief visit. If there was an outbreak I would definitely be more vigilant and would probably be that person to ask those visiting to consider it or wait until the baby is older! Seems my postpartum brain forgot to remind my parents - and now I’m annoyed that they never listened to me 🤔 </p>