https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 14:10:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2779059 Wed, 11 Oct 2017 14:36:57 +0000 periwinklebee 2779059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: @gingerbebe: Thank you - this is super helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778989 Wed, 11 Oct 2017 12:53:40 +0000 gingerbebe 2778989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I'm Korean and we have a similar sit month situation and I have 2 kids who were vastly different in temperament.</p> <p>Here's what my advice is:</p> <p>- Have your MIL visit when the baby is 1 week old. You will have 1 week to be a hot mess and recover a bit and just cocoon and be a family together. BF and pump a lot to get your milk in.</p> <p>- Have MIL visit for 1 week. Maybe 5 days. The baby is sleeping more in that window, they can be held more, and your MIL can get the snuggles in. If you're okay with it, pump and leave bottles for your MIL to do feedings (grandmas love to feed littles). Let MIL do her funky cooking, stock the freezer with all the soups and stews, and say thank you. It will be annoying. It will be a week. MIL will feel like she did her part/duty.</p> <p>- If you want visitors or to socialize because of the hormone crash, the first 2 weeks are the best. Baby is more likely to just sleep in a carseat out at a restaurant or sleep in a stroller or wrap, and if you keep them covered and not let people touch them, you'll be fine. </p> <p>- Line up help in the 2nd month. Around 3 weeks, the babies wake up and they get fussy. DS1 was a nightmare from birth, but even DS2, my easy baby, was a hot mess from week 3 to week 8. Weeks 6-8 especially are brutal. I didn't need a night nurse (I could stay up at night just fine), but I DID appreciate/need someone who came in the mornings - like 8a-12p - so I could catch up on some sleep and do some chores. Afternoons when it was nice, I could take the baby on a stroller walk and get some air and sorta prep for the witching hour in the evenings, which DH and I tagged teamed. The morning help was VITAL after I had my second child, because I needed someone to watch the toddler for me too. If you can swing a morning helper like 3 days a week from week 6 to week 12, I think you will feel a lot more sane. </p> <p>- Get a housecleaner to come twice a month. Time it for a day the morning helper doesn't come, since you will have to leave the house for a few hours anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778939 Wed, 11 Oct 2017 11:51:37 +0000 snowjewelz 2778939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I barely did sit month with DD2 b/c who has time to rest with a toddler running around... We would never have the budget for one, so it was never even in my plans. I think having an Asian one vs just a regular helper/night nurse would be that maybe she can cook all the good/healing food for you, but that's about it...? I just delegated most housework to DH and my mom, lowered my expectations a lot, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778523 Tue, 10 Oct 2017 06:52:23 +0000 periwinklebee 2778523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Hah, this is a threadjack I can get on board with. Your post cracked me up, because I can so identify. My MIL was just visiting us for four days, and spent the better part of the time looking up property listings and then acting like we'd done her some sort of grievous harm by not wanting to go look at them. Seriously, we would get her a hotel, and this is a woman who loves luxury travel, so it's not as if she hates hotels in general. I think she must have some long standing vision of coming and visiting her son in his nice big house in the suburbs that we just aren't cooperating with and she's not happy about that! </p> <p>@Ina85: This sounds tough - I'm glad your mother was able to come for a little while, and that your husband was able to set boundaries. </p> <p>@LemonJack: Thank you, good perspective, I know I should just plan on having the really fussy baby, and if he's not, then all the better if my expectations started low... </p> <p>@Mrs. Pickle: @bees_knees: Thank you all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778504 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 22:55:39 +0000 bees_knees 2778504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would find a happy medium — line up a house cleaner to come in once a week, maybe someone to help with laundry and other household stuff, have either meals prepped or takeout menus available. I really enjoyed the newborn days! But who doesn’t want an excuse for some household help ;)</p> <p>Also, while I’m sure *some* people might be miserable without help, a lot of people are perfectly fine and actually cherish those first few months! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778498 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 22:16:35 +0000 LemonJack 2778498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm coming at this from the perspective of someone who had two babies with vastly different temperaments. My first was a really, really hard newborn. She was so fussy, cried for hours at night, and sleep was a disaster. I wouldn't have wanted someone in my house 24/7, but if I could have had a night nurse a few nights a week it would have made such a difference for me. She was exclusively breastfed, but a night nurse would still have been helpful between feedings because she just would not sleep!</p> <p>My second was the total opposite. Super chill, slept well, and I felt like myself almost immediately. I definitely didn't need any help.</p> <p>So, if I were you, I would book a night nurse as a "just in case" possibility. Hopefully you have an easy newborn, but if you don't, it would be nice to know you have the help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778496 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 21:38:26 +0000 LCTBQE 2778496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: @NorthStar: @SweetiePie: we have a 1-bedroom with the nursery off our room, it's a small NYC apartment (brownstone floor-through) and my mom literally begs me to let her sleep on our kitchen floor because it pains her so much to "waste money" on an airbnb which WE PAY FOR. every visit we have a fight beforehand about this and she howls about it and then she comes and insists on asking again, why, why, why won't we let her sleep on the kitchen floor (I'm sure by now yall can get a sense why), and then just for good measure, some final insistence that if this is for her benefit, it's not worth it. </p> <p>friends, it is for my own benefit.<br /> eta sorry for the thread jack periwinkle :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778495 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 21:36:24 +0000 ShootingStar 2778495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless you don’t plan to breastfeed (no judgement!) having someone for the baby that first month is kinda useless. Newborns mostly want to eat and sleep. And you if you BF you need to nurse around the clock for your supply. </p> <p>Personally, I LOVE those first few weeks. They’re snuggly and sleepy and there’s just something so special about that time. I wouldn’t want s stranger in my house, taking up that baby time. You will never get those first few weeks back. I’d have someone do everything else though - cleaning, laundry, meal prep, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778492 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 21:15:13 +0000 Ina85 2778492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Periwinklebee: Sounds like you should do what works best for you and your husband. I understand about cultural expectations. I'm Korean and my mom grew up in Korea post Korean war, she's super old school with everything but she's very intelligent and open minded so she's always adapted and been very flexible with me and understanding of me growing up in a such a different culture and time from the way she grew up. When we were planning things out for postpartum my husband (he is not Korean, he's white guy polish german heritage, so always adjusting to the korean things in our lives) didn't think we needed anyone to come stay with us because he was going to take 2 weeks vacation and 2 weeks working from home so he could help me for a month. I knew my mom was so intent on coming and staying with us a while because that's what her mom did and her mom's mom and so on and this is just a given. If I had not wanted her to come stay, I would've told her no, but I really wanted her to come and be with me, I was really looking forward to it so I let my husband know she was coming and we would see how things go to see how long she would stay, he was not looking forward to it because it'd be uncomfortable for him, my mom is super ocd, I'm just used to it. My mom initially was planning on staying at least a week, first week of baby's life but she only stayed 4 days, I was sad when she left. My mom was so helpful, she did everything and catered to me, it was so nice but my husband felt uncomfortable especially after a couple days and my mom started to feel uncomfortable because she could tell he was uncomfortable and I was in the middle. It ended up being fine my husband helped as much as he could and he mentioned his mom said she wanted to come because she found out my mom came, I was like absolutely not. His mom is ok in small doses. She's just too much and dramatic and acts like a child. I told him with the hormones I'd probably end up flipping out on her and nobody wants that.<br /> That is so good you have boundaries set for your mil. Unfortunately my mil usually does whatever she wants until my husband has to pretty much put her in her place and then she knows he's serious and she won't get her way, but he tries not to have things go there.<br /> Best of luck with whatever you decide on! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778460 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 17:27:11 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2778460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a lot of help after both of my babies were born. I didn't have to cook, clean, or do laundry for 6 weeks. It was wonderful. I was able to focus on resting, recovering, and feeding the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778450 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:40:54 +0000 periwinklebee 2778450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Thanks for sharing this perspective - I don't hate it at all and could totally see myself in this situation. While I'd love to think I'll have the sleepy newborn and will cope well with recovery and will be able to breastfeed, who knows, and I'm trying to go in with low/no expectations. I do know that after I had a D&amp;E when my hormone levels were fairly high, the hormone drop wrecked me for awhile. Crying over any and everything (and I'm not a cryer) plus anxiety that wasn't normal at all for me. It was fine because I could get plenty of sleep and focus on self-care, but I can imagine that combined with physical recovery, sleep deprivation, and an infant who cried for hours on end could make me lose my mind, no matter how much I want a baby. I worry a bit about quality if I try to set something up at the last minute once I'm already at the point of losing it, but I am in a major urban area so it would probably be more feasible than I imagine (yeah, I'm a planner, and need to remember what TTC has taught me about babies not following plans :silly: ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778446 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:32:05 +0000 periwinklebee 2778446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Ugh, seriously. There is a very highly rated bed and breakfast literally directly across the street from us. We would even pay for MIL to stay there. But she insists on staying with us and then complains about our lack of bathrooms. Since she found out we were expecting, she's been looking for listings for properties in our area with guest bed/baths she would like :shocked: Nope, not paying like an additional half million dollars for a guest bed/bath to be used on occasion, maybe someday... </p> <p>@MsMini: 40+ meals, that's completely awesome! I meanwhile need to start by tossing the Trader Joe's stuff in my freezer that's probably no longer good b/c I couldn't stomach it first tri :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778424 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 14:26:10 +0000 nwm 2778424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: omg exactly all of this. except i was going back to work and somehow that did not do it for me until about month 3 when i felt like i had my feet under me and could look forward a bit more. then i went back to work at month 4 and almost immediately felt like myself again but i still think i could really have benefited from help at the beginning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778412 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 14:01:08 +0000 SweetiePie 2778412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like @LCTBQE: said, this sounds like a baby nurse/night nurse, which is very common where we live.<br /> I had a big response to you and then I boarded my flight and it got lost and I said a lot of swear words under my breath :-) But basically it was this, but much clearer:</p> <p>I also thought I didn't need one and it was just such a foreign concept to me (I'm not from this city). In fact, I made fun of people that got one because I'm like "Ok, you're all spoiled, 99% of america goes home without a night nurse or help and they are all fine. Plus, I really WANT my baby (IVF and miscarriages) so, like F**K off!"<br /> Well, week 2 I called a friend's former baby nurse in a panic and she started week 3. Haha. 3-4 nights a week, just 7pm-7am.<br /> For me, it was vital. My parents don't live nearby and I really can't stand my MIL. I had PPD and I totally underestimated how much sleep deprivation would impact me. As you stated, I'm not sure just how helpful it is if you BF, BUT, that's also something that you can't totally bank on (I also thought I would BF and for various reasons and events, it didn't work - not saying it WON'T, its just something to consider). It was also really helpful to our marriage (it was our roughest patch in 18 years) because we could go out and get a burger and just be US a couple nights a week, not the tired new parents arguing over bottle feedings or the temperature in the baby's room.</p> <p>Before having my son people would tell me how hard it was and exhausting and some even said I would hate life for the first few months. I actually was seriously pissed at those people and then...I had my son...and I ended up apologizing and thanking them for actually being honest. I do think that a lot of people aren't honest about how hard the newborn stage can be (and yes, I also thought I would want to be with my new baby all the time and I would love having a newborn and we'd just cuddle on the couch watching football every Sunday as a happy little family).<br /> I guess saying all of this might make you hate me, because before having my son I would have hated me :-) And I TRULY hope you don't come back and say I was right! I don't want ANYONE to have that experience, but I try to be honest about mine because I don't think enough people are. I had some friends who TRULY did love the newborn stage and instead hated the toddler (1yr+) stage. I was the opposite. So a lot of it is your personality and I don't think you know what personality you have until you actually have a baby. Suuuure I loved babies and cuddly newborns...before I had my own. And I realized I am emphatically not a newborn/baby person (and neither is my husband). We are much more toddler/big kid people!</p> <p>Anywayyyy, all this to say, I wouldn't completely rule it out. If the "sit month" nanny requires you to commit to 24 hours for a full month, I'd look into other options. A Post Partum Doula, a night nurse who will only do shifts, etc. They exist - they really do. And unless you are in a very rural area where no one really has them (which doesn't sound like the case) I'm sure you can find one in a pinch, after the baby is born, if you determine its needed. If they aren't currently working, they shouldn't be picky about how many hours or length of time - they should be happy for the work because 20 hours a week is better than 0 hours a week.<br /> I also am an introvert and the idea of someone being in the apartment all the time definitely gives me some anxiety...ok, a lot of anxiety. But I know that in the end, its what I need for my mental health, a happy husband, and a happy LO1 - quality of time over quantity of time. Sure, I could spend 24/7 with them and be kinda miserable (I need down time. I need sleep.) Or I could get as much or as little time off as I need throughout the day and feel refreshed and happy and be the best mother and wife I can be (just because she's employed 24 hours doesn't mean I have to have her there 24 hours...I can tell her to go take a break or take a day off or whatever - and she'll have weekends off). So I went ahead and booked a baby nurse for 24 hours for 2 months. I still feel a little weird about it, but my husband keeps reminding me that I can tell her to go take a break or I can be with the baby while she washes bottles or folds clothes or gets me lunch down the street. And she'll be gone Friday evening till Sunday evening, so we'll have our family time then.<br /> I also have a 3yo who will be in school every morning 9-12, so the idea of not having to take my newborn out into the winter weather every morning BOTH ways is almost enough for me.</p> <p>Anyway, this is a long response and I just wanted to say - that the people in your life telling you to get help are probably just trying to help. Because maybe THEY were the FTM who thought they wouldn't need it and love babies (I personally did IVF and had multiple miscarriages, so I was like I WILL LOVE EVERY STAGE OF MOTHERHOOD BECAUSE I WANTED IT SO BADLY - not the case) and ended up really struggling. Its VERY possible that you will be totally OK and love it and can handle the sleep deprivation. I really really hope you know I'm not trying to scare you and say that your life will definitely suck. I just want to offer a different perspective since most everyone upthread was like "its fine, its easy, they just sleep and eat". Because that wasn't my experience. </p> <p>ETA: And, I also realize that you are going to be on maternity leave and will go back to work - I wasn't. So for me it felt like it would be my eternity - I'm not sure that those first few months would have felt quite as bad if I knew I was going back to work and the 24 hour shifts of being a mom wouldn't last forever. Maybe because you'll be going back to work you'll feel more of the "cherish these moments" feelings? But again, hard to know until the time comes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778409 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 13:52:47 +0000 MsMini 2778409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would totally not be into having anyone extra coming into my house the first month! My Mom comes for 3-5 days right at the beginning to watch my other kiddos (I am currently 35 weeks with my 3rd) and then heads back home (we live 3 hours from any family). I had both a super clingy and a super chill newborn and I wouldn't have wanted to have someone for a whole month getting in my way etc. It might also be because I am an NICU nurse and so I am super comfortable with newborn care/behaviour etc and people trying to help me would probably get on my nerves LOL. I have 40+ meals in my freezer for quick/easy prep. The only thing I would love would be a weekly house cleaner. Preferably to be there while I was not 😂. Honestly, I feel like people get way more worried about newborn and personal care than they should! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778404 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 13:39:43 +0000 NorthStar 2778404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: haha. I pointedly told my mom that I can only handle visitors for 2 nights and didn't let her stay with us until DS was 8 weeks. lol. I can't handle her :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778399 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 13:37:05 +0000 LCTBQE 2778399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: OMG, if there was a guarantee on Murphy's Law that if I paid the money for a night nurse only to get a baby who just freaking slept, I would be thrusting my credit card into the hands of anyone who would take it. Anyway yes, it's hard when everyone expects you to do things a certain way because that's the way THEY did it; see breastfeeding vs formula, cosleeping vs CIO, and 5000 other things :) You guys will be fine! I think your thought process on alternative help sounds really smart. </p> <p>Also we can start a whole new thread on parents not staying with us when they come to visit :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778384 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 13:00:22 +0000 periwinklebee 2778384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ina85: Thanks! My MIL doesn't live close - she's retired so has flexibility to come, but insists on staying with us when she visits which creates its own set of issues. I think her first choice would be for us to hire a sit month nanny, as she says she doesn't like to cook or care for babies but culturally she has very strong expectations that it's best for baby to do this. We're used to setting boundaries with her about what we will an won't do, though. Good point on meals - I need to freeze some stuff in advance and will probably order from a local meal service, which does weekly deliveries at a pretty reasonable price. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778375 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:42:36 +0000 periwinklebee 2778375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: @looch: Thanks, it's really helpful to hear this perspective as well. Definitely a great point on having someone experienced to help; I feel like the biggest pro of hiring a service that specializes in newborn care is that they can give tips on infant care as well as providing perspective on what's normal and what's not, in contrast to a normal part-time babysitter or family who may not have much infant experience. @Revel: Seems like a postpartum doula would serve a similar purpose, I should look into these options as well. </p> <p>@dolphin: This sounds like an awesome arrangement! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778372 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:33:38 +0000 periwinklebee 2778372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Thank you! This is a really good point about the second month being harder than the first. It's so good to hear from people who survived, and even enjoyed parts of it!</p> <p>Some colleagues swear by the night nanny, but I also wonder how useful it is with a healthy singleton for women who breastfeed. I know it must just depend on the temperament of the baby... I've been pretty reluctant because I envision shelling out a ton of money - the main service people I know have used very strongly encourages you to reserve and pay a couple months in advance of when the baby is born to guarantee service - and then of course having the lucky baby who will eat and go right back to sleep... </p> <p>It's weird because growing up the cultural expectations in my family were that you did this kind of stuff - and pretty much anything domestic - yourself, whereas amongst my husband's family and most of my friends/colleagues now the expectation is that as soon as you can swing it financially, you hire as much out as possible. I'm sure you're right that how much it helps just depends on the baby, and no way to know in advance... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778371 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:31:33 +0000 looch 2778371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggled the first month, not going to lie. My mom wasn't able to come visit until my son was about 5 weeks old and it was a really welcome time as she helped me with making sure I got enough sleep.</p> <p>If I had to do it all over again, I would absolutely get help. Not every baby is the sleepy newborn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778369 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:29:34 +0000 nwm 2778369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my attitude was exactly the same as yours before i had my son and fairly different afterward. agree with pp that it depends in part on your baby's temperament (mine definitely had a rough time from weeks 4-6, generally did not like to nap, etc.). my husband took only two days of paternity leave so i was all on my own and i was not a happy camper. not that i don't think you _can_ do it on your own, but in retrospect i think i would have benefited from someone with real experience with infants just to give me tips and reassure me. </p> <p>the experience might actually be the biggest piece, and i think it's a real difference from what a MIL can do. speaking as a FTM with my mom also dealing with her first grandchild, even though she lived in the same city and came over a lot, fully half the time she had no idea what to do and honestly just made me feel worse or like there was something wrong with my baby because he was crying a lot. she just did not remember what it was like to deal with a really tiny infant, so even though she did bring me food &amp; stuff (which i'm very grateful for!) sometimes it didn't feel that helpful. my reaction going in was to say i don't want someone else in my home giving me advice (i don't always take advice well :wink: ) but in retrospect i would totally do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778368 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:23:01 +0000 dolphin 2778368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn’t hire a sit in nanny but my mom was around to help out. She would bring over soups, meals and watch the baby when I needed to shower or something. She didn’t sleep over though and I never felt like I needed her to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778366 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:22:20 +0000 Revel 2778366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You could look into a postpartum doula if you want some extra help. In my area you can hire them for all different schedules and tasks, some are lactation consultants, photographers etc.</p> <p>For me if I was going to spend money to outsource anything in those early weeks it would be for house cleaning and meals, no question! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778365 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:20:31 +0000 Ina85 2778365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is weird to have a stranger in your house for month. Is your mil close enough where she could come help with laundry or cleaning or things like that? Can she make you some meals you can freeze like chili, lasagna so you have easy meals after the baby comes? Or if she's not close, can any of your friends help you with these things? These are the things you don't want to worry about so you have time to rest, heal, and bond with your baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778364 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:19:17 +0000 periwinklebee 2778364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raspberries: Yeah, I think something like this would be ideal. I worry a bit that it could be hard to find a quality person for a part-time temporary position - it seems like most of the better people line up full-time nanny jobs and I've heard some horror stories about part-time people off of care.com or urbansitters, etc - but I feel like especially if I am willing to be flexible, it should be feasible to find a college student who would be decent...I just need to figure out where to search...</p> <p>@kiddosc: @mrskansas: @Meowkers: @NorthStar: @skinnycow: Yeah, exactly, I would find it somewhat weird having someone else regularly around my house, and while I know every baby is different, it's good to be reassured that it's not so bad. I honestly don't mind if the house is a train wreck and meals are basic for awhile...</p> <p>@Nonimouse: I'm really hoping my husband will be able to take at least the first week off, but there's a possibility he might switch jobs between now and when the baby is born, in which case leave would be very limited. Not ideal at all, but he's been waiting for awhile for the right opportunity to come up, so we'll see what happens between now and then... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778362 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:13:14 +0000 NorthStar 2778362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be annoyed having someone in my house too. I really liked the time to relax, vege on the couch watching netflix, and cuddling our baby. I would feel like I need to entertain someone if they were in my home and honestly, it would stress me out more. The first month if really not that bad since they do sleep so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778360 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:08:13 +0000 LCTBQE 2778360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi lady, hope you're doing well! </p> <p>I don't know anyone very well who has had a sit month, but I wonder how similar it is to hiring a night nurse--extra help and support so you can ostensibly get some rest. The nurse/nanny shows up for like 10 or 12 hour shifts from 6/8pm-6am. It's $$$ and then yeah, you need to have enough physical space for them to stay. I guess it's nice, but if you're planning to breast feed, you do have to wake up to do that several times a night anyway. Something else to consider. </p> <p>Like some of the pp's have mentioned, the first month isn't usually that bad. The second month I thought was much harder--that's when the sleep deprivation starts to really set in, and for a lot of babies the 6-8 week period is super fussy. Regarding being able to handle it all, I do think whether or not you identify as a baby person is a lot less relevant than the unique temperament of *your baby*, which of course you have no way of knowing :) But it sounds like you aren't excited about the idea of hiring someone and your friends/family maybe just have an expectation, cultural or otherwise, that this is "the way it's done" ? </p> <p>If you don't already have it arranged, I'd get a cleaning lady to come once a week, set up Fresh Direct orders with lots of pre-prepared meals, get your favorite takeout menus in a stack by the phone, and ideally hire a sitter with lots of newborn experience to come for maybe 4-5 hours once a week when your husband is at work. My husband didn't have a pat leave either, I had no help, no family nearby, baby was mega-fuss and stubborn in early days, and we're all still here :grin: it can be done :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778359 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 12:08:12 +0000 skinnycow 2778359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think someone being at my house all the time would annoy me more than anything. My husband went back to work after a week and I was totally fine by then. DD was an easy newborn and my experience was that she pretty much just nursed and slept for the first month.</p> <p>One thing that was really helpful for me was to make a ton of crockpot freezer meals before my due date. I had enough to get us through the first 3-4 weeks without worrying about cooking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sit-month-nanny#post-2778357 Mon, 09 Oct 2017 11:29:21 +0000 Meowkers 2778357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg I would hate having someone around all the time. Taking care of a newborn is really not that hard. They sleep a lot, eat, and poop. The first month was really mellow. We spent a lot of time cuddling and taking walks around the neighborhood (but didn't go anywhere else). It was actually a really relaxing time for me. Lots of naps, reading, and baby cuddles. </p> <p>Now I'm pregnant with my second and we have a nanny for my oldest. I'm dreading having her around all the time when I'm on maternity leave (even though I like her and know her well). </p>