https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 16 May 2026 08:13:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long/page/2#post-2682624 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 21:49:53 +0000 Eko 2682624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: great job of hanging in there mama. My son goes to bed at 8pm. Sounds like you are heading in a better direction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2682568 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 19:43:00 +0000 MrsADS 2682568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe @dahlia @sweetiepie so funny how "say goodnight" works. I am not sure DS is quite old enough to "get it" but maybe it helps. </p> <p>Last night he woke up once about 10pm, he lost his paci and was thrashing around. My husband went it and gave it to him and rocked him for 5 mins, he fell asleep, but started screaming once he put him in the crib. He walked out and he was back asleep in less than 10 minutes, so that worked pretty well.</p> <p>We shall see how tonight goes - unfortunately today he's developed a runny nose and low fever, so all bets are probably off. We did the bedtime routine and I can hear him crying upstairs with hubs now :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2682516 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 17:42:15 +0000 SweetiePie 2682516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: so true! We even say bye or goodnight to TV characters when it's time to turn off the TV. He does it and doesn't complain! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2682502 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 17:13:51 +0000 Dahlia 2682502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: @SweetiePie: It's so strange that saying goodnight to things works, but it does! Whenever LO doesn't want to give us something (her doll before we leave the house, the trash we need to throw away) or go to up to bed we ask her to say bye bye to it and then she hands it over with no fuss. Toddlers are so odd. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2682466 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 16:21:03 +0000 SweetiePie 2682466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: yes to lights being off when we go into his room, even hallway/kitchen/etc. and also TV. I didn't want him to think he's missing out on something fun if he cried and we open the door to go in (even moreso because we're in an apt and his room is off of the living room and across from the kitchen). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2682447 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 15:53:25 +0000 gingerbebe 2682447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I totally forgot - at the same time my kid went through this regression we added a thing where I carried him around the house and asked him to help me turn of alllll the lights. And I would say thank you at each light switch and it was part of our bedtime routine. He loved it and I think helped him think everyone and everything was shutting down for the night (even if I switched the lights back on once I left his room. We also always walked into his room with all hallway lights off if he needed us after bedtime to reinforce the nighttime thing. Sounds like you are doing that with the goodnight ritual - totally helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2682435 Wed, 18 Jan 2017 15:36:58 +0000 SweetiePie 2682435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: 🙌🏼 Great job! I second everything @Dahlia: said. He went to bed with zero crying - that was the first hurdle. A solid bedtime routine is key and yours sounds perfect. Do it exactly the same each night for at least 2 weeks.<br /> Once you reset his sleep and he's more refreshed you can work on everything else.<br /> How did the rest of the night go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681891 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 23:51:23 +0000 gingerbebe 2681891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good job mom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681850 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 22:09:10 +0000 Dahlia 2681850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Hurrah! I hope he sleeps well tonight. I think if you can get a solid bedtime routine, then you can tackle getting him to sleep independently and/or an earlier bedtime. Congratulations on the first night of the first step! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681790 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 20:42:48 +0000 FaithFertility 2681790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: breath mama it is a step in the right direction </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681771 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 20:13:47 +0000 MrsADS 2681771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetiepie THANK YOU! Our plan tonight to get him to bed worked great (knock on wood). We did the following:</p> <p>- 5 min warning, then 2 min, etc. warning before going upstairs. this was about 7:15. By this point he was sitting in my lap reading books, seemed tired.<br /> - On the way upstairs, we turned the lights off in every room and said "goodnight kitchen, good night living room, good night dining room", etc.<br /> - Bath, then diaper and jammies<br /> - then he ran around for about 10 minutes. Did the countdown again<br /> - I rocked him in the glider and we read 4 books while he drank milk. Bedtime prayer, hugs and kisses<br /> - Hand off to Daddy, who rocked him to sleep in about 10 minutes. ZERO CRYING.</p> <p>I guess we'll see how he sleeps tonight. I guess not ideal since he's not falling asleep independently, but if he STTN I don't care. 8pm still seems a bit late for him for bedtime, but better than all the crying and screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681737 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 19:03:39 +0000 SweetiePie 2681737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: thinking of you tonight! 🙏🏼 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681513 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 14:42:54 +0000 MrsADS 2681513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dahlia good point. We are going to try a later bedtime tonight to see if it helps. Not crazy late - like 7:30 or 8pm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681352 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 12:33:34 +0000 Dahlia 2681352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, so generally I'm on the "overtired put them down earlier" train, but have you tried putting him down later? My DD is 18 months, and every once in awhile she'll go through phases for a week or two where she seems to need less sleep. She normally sleeps 11-12 hours a night, but twice since turning 1 she's had these periods where she only needs about 10 at night and is totally happy all day (with a normal nap). </p> <p>She's always fought sleep way harder when she's not tired than when she's overtired, so if she's totally hysterical it's usually a sign she's not ready to go down. </p> <p>Also, for what it's worth, since about that age she's generally gone to bed exactly 13 hours after she wakes up for the day, and it's ideal if that corresponds with 5-5.5 hours after she wakes up from nap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681342 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 12:11:25 +0000 SweetiePie 2681342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: what about books about bedtime? We have a "Night Night Elmo" book with flaps that my son likes a lot. It goes through the routine of bedtime and shows "what's next". I'm sure there are tons of books like this.<br /> Also, no idea if it actually works but we've been using Johnson bedtime bubble bath for a long time. And I will sometimes play soft music (I like a bedtime prayers album I downloaded but could even be classical music or another secular bedtime album). Nothing exciting or upbeat. </p> <p>I agree that talking him through and narrating steps and talking about what's next is good. In anything, really! I do it even when we're going to run errands. "Ok son, we are going to get in the stroller. Then we will go to the bank and the grocery store where you can pick out fruit! Then after our work is done we can go to the playground". I specifically name it all and explain the "reward" at the end (playground in this instance) and it really helps him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681309 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 11:13:49 +0000 MrsADS 2681309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetiepie thanks. Definitely considering a sleep consultant, although I have a feeling most will say just do extinction CIO and get on with it.</p> <p>I think we will try to separate bath - maybe bath, diaper, PJs, and then some more time to play, then books/wind down. I like the timer idea, even though he probably won't "get it". The other thing I'm going to do is try to be a lot more intentional about talking him through what is happening and what's going to happen. </p> <p>Good point on working on the sleep debt before we try anything else. This has been going on (on and off) since Christmas, so I don't know. We traveled for Christmas and it's been messed up ever since. </p> <p>We've taken him to the ped to make sure nothing is going on (ear infection, etc.) and he seems to be fine, other than he is still getting 2 molars in. Her response is basically just let him cry. Not super helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681295 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 10:55:09 +0000 SweetiePie 2681295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Oh, and I also want to add that you should give the routine a solid two weeks of consistency. Pick your routine and stick with it, just like the sleep training it's only effective if you remain consistent for a reasonable amount of time. Kids always have an adjustment period. And I was told by my pediatrician to give everything two weeks before throwing in the towel and changing My approach. If it doesn't seem to work in the first two days, don't go and change it up.<br /> This is just one of those things in parenting that is so hard to get through and it's so hard to remain consistent, but it's something that will pay off in spades.<br /> Is hiring a sleep consultant a possibility at all? I live in New York where they are abundant, but I'm not sure if you have them where you are. Here they will actually come and sit with you through the sleep training to help you remain strong and to reassure you. And I'm sure there are some who would respect that you don't want to do CIO. Or they may observe and tell you that extinction CIO is the only option. And hearing a professional's opinion on that might help give you the nudge to do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681289 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 10:47:30 +0000 SweetiePie 2681289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I was going to ask about bath in your routine and then you said it - it wires him! My pediatrician actually said this when he was much younger - she asked about our bedtime routine and I mentioned bath. She told me "be careful, for some kids a bath can be stimulating rather than relaxing" and that has always stuck with me.<br /> So, maybe you could do it in the morning or right after nap? Or it could still be evening but separated from bedtime. So dinner then straight to bath and PJs, then playing. THEN you can give verbal cues that it's almost time for books and bed.<br /> My son has responded extremely well to a timer. Thanks, Alexa! We got one for Christmas and I'll say "Alexa set a timer for 10 minutes" and I tell my son "when you hear the timer the TV goes off and it's time for books". It took a couple of times for him to take it seriously but now as soon as it goes off he says "time for books!" It's been super effective overall, not just for bedtime (turning off tv, time for lunch, etc)<br /> Agree with gingerbebe that right now he might be SO deprived that he needs a reset in which case you do what you have to do. If that means rocking or melatonin or whatever, do it. If you go into every night tired and wired it will just be a vicious vicious cycle. I know you know that and it's not what you want either! But just letting you know that it's ok to do what you have to to get him to sleep. And agree asking the ped might be a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681205 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 09:11:16 +0000 FaithFertility 2681205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Kudos to you for not losing your Sh** :) Keep It up Mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681201 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 09:09:21 +0000 MrsADS 2681201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi no, before this whole mess started with him fighting bedtime so much, he was usually asleep by 7pm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681194 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 08:49:01 +0000 gotkimchi 2681194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: what time does he typically fall asleep? Because if it's usually around 9 I think he is going to scream if you put him down at 7. There's a post on precious little sleep about this but basically you put him down at the time he's usually falling asleep then work on pushing that back to abnormal time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681188 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 08:44:15 +0000 MrsADS 2681188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He eventually went to sleep at about 9:15pm, up at 7am. Not enough sleep for him but he did STTN.</p> <p>@sweetiepie he is totally "tired but wired"! Yesterday he woke up about 2pm from nap. We started bedtime routine about 6. By 6:15 we were nursing/rocking in the dark in his room. He wouldn't go to sleep. Then the screaming started. We need to be more consistent with bedtime routine - we actually wrote it out this morning and realized we aren't doing as good of a job with that as we thought. The problem is that any bedtime routine doesn't seem to calm him down - he just gets mad because he wants to run around and we're stopping him from doing that by putting his PJs on, trying to read books, etc. </p> <p>@gingerbebe thank you for this. You are totally right that we need to be 100% consistent on whatever we are doing. If we did CIO it would probably have to be extinction because my son is the same way. I am not really a CIO person and I am not sure we can do it, so we are going to start by making some changes tonight and see how it goes.<br /> Sounds like your son was exactly the same as mine - nightmare reflux and colic, never slept. He cried all day and all night. Whenever he has the nights where he's crying (now) I totally feel like I have PTSD because I start crying and fall apart. </p> <p>Tonight we are going to try to push bedtime till 7:30, and be consistent with the routine:<br /> - Cup of milk downstairs<br /> - Verbal cues "In 5 minutes we're going upstairs to get ready for bed. In 2 minutes it will be time to stop playing and go to bed. Etc."<br /> - Go upstairs, give him 5 minutes to play in his room<br /> -bath, change into overnight diaper and PJs [as an aside - bath usually makes him wired]<br /> - Read 2-3 books together, prayers, bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681134 Tue, 17 Jan 2017 00:48:52 +0000 gingerbebe 2681134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really sorry you're going through this. I think in terms of triage, you just need to get him to sleep however you can. He's basically lost his mind because he's so chronically tired. Perhaps you can talk to your pediatrician - I think a few moms on HB had their kids on melatonin for a few weeks as a "reset" to the sleep cycle. </p> <p>Do you have a video monitor? Can you watch him on the monitor to see how he's doing? I don't think kids really stop breathing because of crying. Throwing up would be unfortunate, however. We always double bagged his mattress (mattress protector, sheet, mattress pad, sheet) so we could quickly clean up when he threw up (he did all the time from reflux). I don't recall if our son puked while sleep training, but that's how we would have handled it. </p> <p>We ended up doing extinction because our son got FURIOUS with checks and every other gentle method. He is also very, very stubborn. But we decided to go this way because was SO chronically overtired from months of colic and reflux screaming that he was literally delirious crazy. I think the first 3 months of his life he mostly slept in 20-30 minute bursts 24 hours a day. Once he was actually sleeping normal hours, he was literally a different person. </p> <p>What is your DH's tolerance for CIO? Can he take lead? When we sleeptrained our oldest, my DH handled the brunt of it. I couldn't really deal with listening to him cry (my son blew out my eardrum when he was first born, that's how loud he was, and he was colicky with severe reflux and did not stop crying for like 4 months. To this day when DS1 has a really hard crying fit, it gives me a PTSD anxiety flash back to his infant days). DH would just stay up and watch him on the monitor and sit through the screaming while I was like holed up somewhere with lots of white noise and ear plugs hiding. </p> <p>What I will say about CIO is please don't do it if you wont be consistent about it. Its not fair to your child to make them cry for 2 hours and then give up - it just makes them cry louder and harder because they think that's how they will get you to come to them. So if you're really not comfortable with CIO, that's totally okay, but just don't do it until you commit to giving it at least 5 days or a week or whatever timeframe you agree to. It sounds like attended CIO and checks aren't working, so you're left with extinction. Unfortunately, extinction works because the kid learns you're really not going to come back even if they cry really loud and that they have to go to sleep. So until you're ready for that I'd say you're just going to have to do the best you can to get him to sleep however you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681124 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 23:49:00 +0000 SweetiePie 2681124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: yeah, that could be classic tired but wired. That's what overtired is - trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.<br /> What is your bedtime routine? What time did he wake from nap today and what time did bedtime routine start? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681089 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 21:16:11 +0000 MrsSRS 2681089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: FWIW switching to a floor bed helped. I started nursing and rolling away, then nursing in a chair and then putting DD down and patting her back while I sat on the bed. Now I'm sitting next to her but not touching her while she happily sings herself to sleep most nights. Little steps. Little steps, a nightlight, and an earlier bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681078 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 20:33:48 +0000 ShootingStar 2681078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: That's rough. I think you have to start all over with bedtime. If you're not up for CIO tonight I'd nurse or rock or whatever you can do to get him asleep and transfer to the crib. Then try again tomorrow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681077 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 20:31:14 +0000 Pollywog 2681077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. Does he ever play in the crib during the day? That makes it less scary. </p> <p>My son is a horrible sleeper. I just have sympathy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681075 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 20:15:42 +0000 FaithFertility 2681075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Lord I am.so sorry </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681074 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 20:14:39 +0000 MrsADS 2681074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrssrs yeah, I'm afraid he's going to get a negative association with the crib. He won't lay down or anything without screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-fightingsleep-training-issues-for-16mo-long#post-2681069 Mon, 16 Jan 2017 19:55:39 +0000 MrsSRS 2681069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't able to break the negative crib association so we moved DD to a floorbed, moved bedtime to 6, and did the sit next to and pat back method. A brighter nightlight helped, too. </p>