https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 15:35:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700590 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 11:25:19 +0000 LCTBQE 2700590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: that's great!! Sounds like a best possible outcome and glad you're feeling groovy. Marathon running after four hours= 😂You are probably better at running on fumes than like a green beret at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700482 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 09:15:42 +0000 Silva 2700482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: He cried for 5 minutes at 8:30, and about 20 minutes (off and on) at 10:30. I fed him at 1:30 (our goal has just been to extend the first chunk of sleep until at least 1AM- I want to do it gradually since its such a significant shift in his eating pattern). I nursed him again at 4:00, he woke up briefly at 5:30 but fell back asleep until 6:30 when he was up for the day.<br /> Feeling insanely better, although its hard to fall back asleep after sleeping for 4 hours- I feel like I could run a marathon at 1AM! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700338 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 20:43:22 +0000 LCTBQE 2700338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: oh good!! we haven't started solids at all yet over here, gotta get on that. hope tonight goes well for you guys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700333 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 20:34:06 +0000 Silva 2700333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: he's still not super into pumped milk/bottles unfortunately. He will put away a lot of solid food now, and I'm spacing out his daytime nursing more so that he gets more milk right before bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700332 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 20:31:34 +0000 LCTBQE 2700332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: yeah, it is really tough to go through (not to mention unpleasant) in the same room. I'm still so glad we did it for all of the above reasons, but it's not the silver bullet I thought it would be--we've gone through a couple of spurts of a few crappy nights in a row (in one right now, actually). I'm glad for you that you've got some support from your husband--are you relieved to pass the baton? I hope the baby does great and gets some sleep, too :heart: and PS did you decide to try the tank-up bottle of pumped milk? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700287 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 18:32:52 +0000 Silva 2700287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: totally a case of me knowing it's for the best for everyone in our family, believing that it works and isn't at all harmful, understanding all the research AND simply not being able to do it. I was trying to do it in the room with him, which worked for my daughter but not him. I really needed my husband to take over but couldn't say that, and he's agreed to just be in charge of this because I can't do it. I don't know why but I really struggle with the consistency and self discipline in the middle of the night!<br /> Hopefully it's not too much worse these next few nights! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700246 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 16:23:02 +0000 LCTBQE 2700246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: it's called an extinction burst -- @Silva: this is when they seem to start to get better and then suddenly it's worse than ever. actually just thinking maybe you're the expert on this since you work with people with addiction? anyway, as applied to baby (non)sleep, for us, when we did extinction, first 2 nights were bad, nights 3-4 were perfect, and night 5 was the extinction burst--he cried FOUR hours straight, it was the worst night of all of our lives. but immediately after that it got much better, and I'm glad we powered through it instead of negating all that work and giving in and going back to zombie land.<br /> anyway just reading your update--wow to the first 4.5 hours since august, mama :heart: in my totally biased, not-expert opinion, 45 minutes of crying is (relatively) not so bad for the first time, and it sounds like he responded *really* well to it, as these things go. I hope you can lean on your husband and get a little more rest. keep us posted :goodluck: :heart:</p> <p>eta!<br /> <a href="https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/extinction-burst/" rel="nofollow">https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/extinction-burst/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700225 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 15:44:52 +0000 SweetiePie 2700225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Sounds like you and your husband are doing a great job! Just remember through the tough times that it will be worth it in the end - you'll ALL get the sleep you need and be much happier for it!</p> <p>I wanted to let you know that often with sleep training there is what feels like a regression. I forget exactly what its called (there's a term for it, I think @gingerbebe: and @LCTBQE: know it). But you're supposed to power through it and not break routine.<br /> Also, here is a helpful little article from as sleep consultant who explains that for many babies, sleep training is like a roller coaster with ups and downs, but the end goal usually works out.<br /> <a href="http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-training-process/" rel="nofollow">http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-training-process/</a></p> <p>GREAT JOB! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700117 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 12:57:09 +0000 Silva 2700117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: we will see how he does, I think. He puts himself to sleep without nursing at bedtime so I know he has the "skill" to self soothe. I was the point of "not safe to drive" and becoming increasingly depressed, something had to change. I'm pretty okay with sleep training in theory, turns out I'm just really bad at doing it for my own kids- so if my husband will do it we might be on our way to get some sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700116 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 12:54:08 +0000 agold 2700116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: oh, dear. It's so tough. That's great your husband helped you out so you could get some consecutive hours of sleep. Just do your best and do what feels right. My baby slept through the night (730-630) for like 8 days in a row and then one day last week just stopped. Ugh. No clue why. But I'm just pushing through the best I can! Good luck to you. Will you try to let him cry it out again tonight? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2700109 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 12:47:17 +0000 Silva 2700109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So just an update- things got bad again. From about Monday of last week through Saturday night he woke up every 90 minutes-two hours, and had to be nursed every time or he'd just cry and cry (I was waiting as long as about 20 minutes, but then I"d get up and nurse because...so tired).<br /> I was becoming less and less able to function, yesterday he went to bed at 6:15 and woke up at 9. I decided to try to not nurse because I KNEW he wasn't hungry (had a good feed before bed, also ate a fair amount of solids). I checked on him every 10 minutes (picking up, singing, patting, etc) but at 9:30 I gave up and went to my husband in the guest room.<br /> My husband (thankfully, finally, blessedly) took over and told me to sleep (I think maybe I was a hot mess this weekend). He said he'd come get me at 1:00 to feed him.</p> <p>I figured he was doing checks or whataver, but apparently he did full extinction. He cried from 9:30-10:15 and then slept until 4AM! I nursed him at 4AM (my boobs were so engorged) and he fell back asleep. I snuck out of the room at 6AM but had to go back in to try to get clothes at 6:40 and he woke up then but still seemed tired.<br /> We will have to see what tonight brings. I'm still exhausted because I woke up at 3AM and couldn't fall back asleep until probably 4:30/5:00- BUT I think I got like 4 1/2 hours of consecutive sleep which is literally the longest I've slept since he was born six months ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2693002 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 12:27:09 +0000 gingerbebe 2693002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great job mama!! He should start eating more during the day as he adjusts to getting less calories at night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692981 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:53:04 +0000 pwnstar 2692981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: That's so exhausting. :( I think you're on the right track and making good progress! I definitely have my *fx* for you! We are still working a few kinks out too, but it is so much better than what it was (we did a few days of CIO with checks), but we are down from 8-9 wakeups to 1-2 wakeups (when he's not sick) , and it's so much more manageable too (easier to put him down and to re-settle him during the night). :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692975 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:50:35 +0000 pwnstar 2692975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Totally with you there! I would definitely opt for 4 shorter naps over trying to adhere to a 3 nap routine and running the risk of overtired! I deal a lot with overtired during the week (my LO is in daycare FT, and does not nap well there), and I can definitely tell a difference, especially toward the end of the week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692956 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:38:34 +0000 Silva 2692956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: if we don't have progress I'm considering a bottle of pumped milk or maybe even formula before bed, and the cereal might help too. i was shocked by how engorged I got last night. He's really been nursing every 1-2 hours!! 😳 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692954 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:36:36 +0000 Silva 2692954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: @erinbaderin: he usually only takes three shorter naps or two monster naps but they were super short yesterday and my husband was trying to avoid overtired.<br /> Unfortunately on Tuesday and Thursday his last nap ends at 3 because we have to go pick up his sister :/. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692937 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:07:39 +0000 pwnstar 2692937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: I was just about to suggest the same thing about the number of naps (although it's the aggregate of sleep time to balance out too) . . . My almost 6 month old usually takes 3 naps: (1) a short early morning nap about 1.5 hours after he's up (he usually wakes between 6:30 and 7); (2) a late morning nap; and (3) an afternoon nap. Then we start to get ready for bed around 5:30, and he has his last bottle between 5:45 and 6, and then he's down between 6 and 6:30 for the night (although I try to keep it closer to 6/6:15).</p> <p>@Silva: My little guy has reflux too. For his bedtime bottle, I add oatmeal (1-2 tsp for every ounce of milk, as recommended by our Ped GI--I do one rounded tsp for every ounce). I did not do oatmeal/cereal with my first, so I was a little hesitant to try it. It really seems to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692933 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:03:32 +0000 KayKay 2692933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds like good progress and not too bad on the crying! Hang in there :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692816 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 09:37:02 +0000 erinbaderin 2692816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder if he's just not tired? At six months old he might be ready for three naps and longer awake time. At six months my son would have woken up from his last nap about the same time but not been in bed until 7. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692779 Tue, 07 Feb 2017 08:40:44 +0000 Silva 2692779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We decided to do full extinction and nurse every three hours. We did end up doing a few checks when he got really upset, and they helped so now that I know that I may do more. We'll see.</p> <p>He took four forty minute-1 hour naps yesterday (my husband was with him), woke from last one at 4:20.<br /> I put him in crib at 5:50, he was out (with two quick checks) in 10 minutes. He slept for forty minutes and then cried, on and off, for nearly an hour. He then slept until 10:30 (great!). I nursed him at 10:30, and it took him awhile to fall back asleep. Probably 15-20 minutes of crying. He woke up again at 11:30 and it was then on/off crying for an hour or so. I left at 12:30 (he was just kind of whining on his way to sleep but I had to get tylenol for a sore throat and didn't want to go back in and risk waking him up)- so I slept in the guest room until he woke up again at 2:30. Nursed him, and he went back to sleep without issue. Woke at 5:30 and had a giant poop so he was up for the day by 6</p> <p>So, it was an improvement. I'm interested to see how tonight goes. I was insanely engorged by the times I fed him (10:30, 2:30, 5:30). I worked yesterday so he had a huge nursing sessions at about 5:15 (I'm always engorged when I get home from work). I'm going to try not nursing later in the afternoon to make sure he gets plenty right before bed.</p> <p>The new problem is that its now 8:30 and he's been fighting a nap for an hour. But I'm feeling slightly encouraged. It was hard but not as hard as I'd expected- and I kept reminding myself of all your words of encouragement. </p> <p>Oh- we also put his dose of omeprazole back at its highest spot. We'd been doing a reduced dose for about two weeks to try to wean him but decided to just bump it back up and leave it there until he STTN. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692435 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 14:35:52 +0000 ShootingStar 2692435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He sounds likes a lot like what L has been going through. There was a point a few weeks ago where she became so addicted to the paci she wouldn't sleep without it. But when she went into a deep sleep it would fall out and she'd wake up screaming. She also has suddenly become aware of object permanence. We had a horrible night last week where she kept waking up the second she hit the crib and screaming. </p> <p>We resolved with the paci problem with CIO. The rule is no paci to go to sleep in the crib. We still use it in the carseat and around the house during the day. And my new rule is no more feeding to sleep (thanks to object permanence). I feed her, then I change her and put her in the crib. </p> <p>I also try to make sure she gets enough food in her for me to feel like she's capable of going long stretches at night. I've started doing a bottle some nights, but it's also really important that throughout the day she eat enough. She tends to be a snacker too, and daycare gets frustrated with how slow she is on her bottles.</p> <p>It seems like you (just like us) have a few issues to tackle.<br /> For one, make sure he eats enough. Sometimes you have to stretch out feedings to make them hungrier. You can try to get them spaced out a few minutes at a time with distraction or pacifiers or whatever. If he's eating enough during the day he doesn't need to be fed an hour after he goes down. He's just using you as his self-soothing mechanism. Lily was doing this all the time, she'd wake up screaming and after a few minutes I'd go in and feed her and she pretty much passed out as soon as she was latched. </p> <p>When you're sure he's eaten enough, then my suggestion is to CIO and not feed him for a set amount of time, like 3 hours. In this case you might need to trade down associations if you can't stop cold turkey. Like rocking back to sleep instead of feeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692383 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:40:55 +0000 agold 2692383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time with night time sleep. I'm having some trouble with my August baby girl. It's tough! I wish I had advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692375 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:36:03 +0000 littlejoy 2692375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will say that our doc encouraged us to try any training for at least 7 days, knowing that the first two nights would be horrible, the 3rd &amp; 4th would be better, the 5th &amp; 6th would be back to horrible, and the 7th is when things might start clicking. </p> <p>Removing food from bedtime really helped us, but we still majorly struggle with sleep with our 3 year old. I feel for you - I know it's so, so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692351 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:19:22 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2692351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: CIO is so hard! I mean knowing a little hug can immediately comfort (and quiet) your baby and choosing to let them be upset is just really hard. DH got our LO in shape while I was OOT for three days. No way could I have listened to the cries the initial nights.</p> <p>Eventually he will sleep and you all will get some rest! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692348 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:17:40 +0000 erinbaderin 2692348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice but I wanted to tell you that in my son's first two years we paid somebody to help us with his sleep THREE SEPARATE TIMES. So don't feel bad about asking for more help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692347 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:15:56 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2692347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Our first was an awful sleeper, up every hour to two hours around that same age. We had success with her with the Ferber method aka controlled crying aka comfort checks. For some kids that method ramps up their anxiety and crying, but for her it seemed to be better than just leaving her to CIO. </p> <p>We had the book which I found helpful, but I'm sure you can also find a schedule of checks online. We would go in, keep the lights off, make sure she had her blankie, lay her down, pat her back and tell her "We love you, now it's time to sleep." Probably like 30 seconds.</p> <p>Honestly by the second night things were improving and by the third night she was sleeping! I couldn't believe how well it worked.</p> <p>I will say our son is a much better sleeper and I tried to just tweak his schedule with the same method, and it didn't work at all. So, I don't think it works for everyone but it was such a game changer for us I felt like I needed to share it with you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692342 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:09:10 +0000 LCTBQE 2692342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I do mix in 50/50 formula for his bedtime feed (and usually one daytime feed)--not because I think it really helps him sleep longer, but because he eats about 30 oz/day and even though I'm really committed to breastfeeding, I just can't keep up. I think he's getting about 20% of his calories from formula--we use Similac, and at some point early on I just dismissed myself from feeling guilty/torn about that decision (granted our boo doesn't have reflux or sensitivities, so that has made choices about feeding easier). </p> <p>Maybe if your little guy isn't eating very much at any given time, you could try stretching out the time between "supper" feed and Bedtime feed, like maybe do a lighter-than-usual feed at 4:30pm for supper, and then offer a BIG bottle at 7:30pm and see how much you can get him to take. </p> <p>We do dream feeds sometimes (maybe twice a week on average?) depending on how much he ate during the day. They usually work, although a couple times I've woken him up and it's backfired. a lot of women on HB seem to have done them with success for months though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692336 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:01:07 +0000 Silva 2692336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: he's been on Omperazole since 2.5 months and There was an obvious difference. I'm not sure it's that because his other symptoms haven't returned- like he's fine in the car, not choking, etc. but I guess maybe we should try bumping up the dose? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692335 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:58:28 +0000 gingerbebe 2692335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Both my boys had reflux and my firstborn who had the sleep issues had it the worst. DH has GERD pretty badly as does my dad so it was a genetic thing. However having managed DH's reflux for so long we knew instantly when the medication clicked for DS1. He was on Prevacid and DS2 was on Prilosec. Zantac was garbage. Once they were on the right meds they would spit up but we could rest because we knew it didn't burn and they were just happier. But when we were on Zantac I knew it wasn't working because they would be fussy at night and waking every 45 minutes or less. The constant snacking issue was a big prob for DS1 too because of the reflux. Slow nipple, small portions, spitting up. Ugh. Nursing wasn't much better - he would fall asleep almost instantly and wouldn't get enough to eat so he would be up around the clock. (It's why his sleep was garbage - he'd like never slept very long ever in his life). He took bigger feeds once his meds were right and we got him to 4oz feeds then 5oz within a month of starting Prevacid. That was also when we trained (when we were sure the Prevacid was working). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-help-hanging-head-in-shame#post-2692333 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:44:32 +0000 Silva 2692333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjd: with my daughter we didn't follow any specific method but she responded pretty well. I'm totally fine with even two or three wakeups- she didn't sleep through the night until 18 months but has been a rockstar sleeper since then. I do have to keep remembering that sleep training is so temporary and the improvements can last!</p> <p>@Pollywog: he is treated for reflux and so theres a possibility going up in the dose would help- but the nighttime sleep and day time fussiness are the only symptoms currently, so I doubt that is it. I will say that he is a snacker- because of how I've always nursed him. So when I'm gone on my one work day he takes like 2 ounces at a time and thats it. I pump about the same. I guess this makes sense because he nurses like 12 times a day....<br /> I'm not opposed to cosleeping if it works. The reason we moved him to the crib is because I have been seeing a physical therapist for chronic back pain, and it was clear the cosleeping was not helping. I'm also just physically uncomfortable with him being latched on all night- its painful and sometimes hard for me to sleep that way.</p> <p>@gingerbebe: I was wondering how often I should feed him if we go this route. I know he is just snacking constantly. He does eat about 1-2 ounces of solids at dinnertime now, but I don't think I can just cut him off cold turkey from nursing. Every three hours seems reasonable- like it would stretch him a little bit but not be too hard for him. Your LO reduced overnight feedings just by doing that?</p> <p>@Bluebonnet: it is an option, although I'd really prefer for him to be in our room longer. he's in a kind of alcove so he he can't seem me from his crib when I'm in bed, but I do have to walk past him to get to bed and it often wakes him up. we'd have to move him into this bonus room that is next to our room and it would just not be as ideal. but I guess this is pretty crappy too, so maybe this weekend we need to rearrange things and put him in there.</p> <p>@LCTBQE: he doesn't seem to drink much regardless of what I do (bottle or nurse). Do you mix in formula? I never considered it with my daughter but I've been thinking about having him do a bottle of formula before bed- maybe it would fill him up more? I do like the idea of a dream feed as maybe a way to begin to transition him away from so much overnight calorie consumption. Are you guys doing that?</p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Thanks :heart: I really feel guilty for how bad his sleep is. Like I've done this before, I know what not to do, I did it anyway. And now he has to "suffer" the consequences (I'm totally not anti CIO, just to be clear!)</p> <p>Thanks for your support guys. We definitely need to just decide on a plan and be consistent. Your input is all really helpful. </p>