https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 22:20:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698914 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 14:18:56 +0000 anothermom 2698914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I don't mean to make it sound so simple; it's just been a while since I've sleeptrained, so I may be blocking out the frustration and tiredness.<br /> Every baby will be different - even my two took to cio in different ways - and every parent will differ in what they're comfortable doing. I hope you find what works for you and your son.<br /> Also, I do remember naps being a bit harder than nighttime sleep, since there wasn't unlimited time to let them fall asleep. For naps, I used black-out blinds with my first and sound machine with both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698910 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 14:06:30 +0000 anothermom 2698910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: With my first, I still did a feeding around 3-4am until he was about 5 months old, but I think I could have dropped it. With my second, I dropped it right away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698870 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 13:17:00 +0000 agold 2698870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Even if your little guy can't hold the wubanub just yet, I'd still consider giving it to him. It could help him develop that skill. One of the first awesome things I noticed my girl doing was holding her wubanub. It started early and the way she moves it around and looks at it is hilarious and amazing. So even if you guy can't hold it right now, having it available to him may help him do it soon! And I know what you mean about pacifiers maybe being a problem later. (But why? bad teeth? embarrassing for older kid to use it? I know really know.) Pacifiers are encouraged to help prevent SIDS. And my baby really likes them so I just see no reason to cut her off now. Do what works for you!! ETA: 3 months is still so young. you and your little guy will figure it out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698438 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 19:32:59 +0000 Goldengirl 2698438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: This did happen several nights ago... he skipped a feed, and then when he woke up, drank his full bottle. Normally he NEVER drinks in the morning because he's full from his 4/5AM bottle! He also slept more than 5 hours. Did it for 2 nights and I got so excited... then hasn't happened again this week :( But yes, he is 3 months, just. And was born 2 weeks early, so a bit tinier... I think now 30-something percentile and almost 14 lbs.</p> <p>@anothermom: Thanks! Did you still feed at night after doing CIO, or did you drop night feedings at the same time?</p> <p>@agold: Ah, thanks! It's great to hear your LO dropped on her own. You must be feeling pretty happy :) My guy needs the paci too, which I guess might become an issue as well but right now it's the only way he falls asleep on his own. What's funny is he doesn't actually really like it. He only takes it when he's reeeeally tired, otherwise he fights against it. But it's like the second he starts sucking, his eyes get heavy. I've heard great things about the wubbanub but wasn't sure if that would work since he doesn't really hold things yet... just kind of starting to grab but doesn't really understand his hands yet I don't think! He does always knock the paci from his mouth and then freak out, which is def annoying.</p> <p>@brownepiano: Thanks for this! It does seem that everyone and every baby is so different. I wouldn't say how it's going now is unliveable... how it was at the beginning definitely was, with the insane amount of fussing at night and rocking/holding/soothing until late. Now that he's going down for bed earlier and I can have at least an hour or two to myself at night, it's a LOT better. And we're slowly getting him used to a bedtime routine... I think! Naps are still all over the place, no matter how much I try to get them to be longer. Lots of catnaps and mini meltdowns throughout the day if he gets overtired, no matter how hard I pay attention to his cues. Our doc said it can take a little longer for naps to consolidate into less naps for longer amounts of time. I can't wait for that so I can get a bit of my day back :)</p> <p>@catlady: EASY worked beautifully for me at the beginning, and now is a total fail. He never wants to eat when he wakes, eating is all over the place, as is napping. I've tried so hard to get back to some sort of schedule but I think it's become too stressful... so I'm hoping it just kind of goes back on its own, rather than fixate on it constantly. Although since I have bad anxiety, that's easier said than done. I did try letting him cry a bit at a nap today, rather than run in and replace the paci or soothe like I usually do, to experiment... and his cries just got more intense until he was wailing. I was like, ummm ok, let's not do this today. Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698388 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 18:14:32 +0000 ShootingStar 2698388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: Yes, we did CIO with no paci. Our routine has evolved a little but what I've found works best is get her in a sleeper and clean diaper, then feed while listening to a specific playlist, then Merlin suit and into the crib with musical seahorse on. </p> <p>She can have the paci during the day, but every time we slip into using it at night it becomes a disaster. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698254 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:53:28 +0000 catlady 2698254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We sleep trained LO1 and I'm glad we did. She was a pretty bad sleeper from the start and even though I tried to follow all the recommendations (like the "drowsy but awake thing" or following EASY), they never really worked for her. She was addicted to either swinging or nursing to sleep. By the time the 4 month sleep regression hit, her sleep was so bad that she would wake literally every sleep cycle. We tried CIO with checks right around 4 months and it was a total fail. She just cried all night long. DH convinced me that she was too young so we waited an agonizing 6 weeks before trying again. At that point, it worked within 3 days. She went from waking sometimes up to 10 times per night to only 2-3 to eat, and then she'd go right back to sleep. I didn't want to sleep train to wean so we let her do that naturally and she eventually slept through on her own at 10 months. She's been a great sleeper ever since we sleep trained.</p> <p>We haven't done anything formal with LO2 yet (11 weeks) but I've managed to get EASY to work with him most of the time and recently "drowsy but awake" works too, so I'm hopeful that things won't get quite as bad with him. These days, I've started letting him cry a very short time (like a minute). It occasionally works at night, although not for naps. I'll probably up it a bit as he gets older and I'm hoping we won't need to do full-blown CIO, or if we do, it won't fail the first time the way it did with LO1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698232 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:15:03 +0000 brownepiano 2698232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did formal sleep training, following babywise/baby whisperer routine and drousy but awake stuff pretty much from day 1. We'd wake for the day at 6:30 and try to get them down for the "night" at 6:30 pm. This was the most important part to having a predictable schedule and knowing when they were probably hungry and when they were probably tired.<br /> DS1 did a 3 hour schedule easily and we slowly worked toward him putting himself to sleep for naps. Some naps it didn't work so I'd hold him, but we'd always try for the next nap. By 3 months he was putting himself to sleep for naps and night time. He never night weaned, so at 8 months when I was sure he didn't need the night feeding anymore we did CIO to drop the nighttime comfort nursing. We didn't do checks because they made him mad. It worked really well and he went to STTN after that. </p> <p>DS2 did not take a pacifier and just wanted to be nursed all the time. He did not fall into a 3 hour schedule easily, and I didn't want to force him to go longer than 2 hours if he couldn't do it. I tried to get him to lengthen naps and learn to fall asleep on his own by using Ferber checks. I first tried at 6 weeks out of desperation because nursing to sleep wasn't working anymore and I had a toddler destroying the house while I rocked him. But it wasn't working and then he hit a growth spurt. I tried again at 8 weeks and it just didn't work. At 10 weeks he found his thumb and he started actually going to sleep on his own and sleeping through the night! We did some light sleep training (ferber checks) to get him on a 3 hour schedule then. I haven't had to do anything intense with him at night like I did with DS1 because he did it himself. If he wakes up at night these days (8 months) I know he is hungry. </p> <p>My take away from two kids is there is no right way to do it. Pick something that works for you and your family. The most important part about any sleep training is that they learn to go to sleep without your help. You can do that at 6 weeks, or 5 months, or let them slowly morph into it when they are 3. But I think most people do sleep training when whatever was working stops working or becomes unlivable. So if you've hit that point at 3 months, it's ok to go ahead and try something and not just wait it out till some magical age range. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698153 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 13:41:54 +0000 agold 2698153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I didn't formally sleep train my baby and she just dropped her overnight feeds on her own last week. She's been sleeping through the night for the last 6 nights. I give her a pacifier, though, and I think a good night time, pre-bed, routine is key. She's almost 6 months. I couldn't do the cry it out and pretty much always feed her. But I think I was misreading some of her cues during the night for a while. I have no interest or desire to wean her of the pacifier anytime soon. We use a soothie with an animal attached. She loves it and can find it on her own in the crib. Good luck with whatever you do! I agonized over all of the sleep training options!</p> <p>ETA: I nurse my baby twice in the pre-bed time routine and I think that helps her be full. I also be sure to burp her during the last nursing because an air bubble/burp bubble or whatever they are called could be down in their belly making them feel full. So I be sure to get the burp out and then I nurse her on the other side. So she's nursed at like 615 and again at 730. I do it like that even if she had just eat at like 5 pm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698083 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 12:38:26 +0000 anothermom 2698083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sleeptrained my first at 4 months and my second at 3.5 months, both cio. It worked well and they both sleep well still.<br /> Also, when they started sleeping through the night feedings, they started eating more during the day.<br /> Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698066 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 12:01:58 +0000 gingerbebe 2698066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My bad reflux kid who needed extinction we went back in every 3 hours for feedings if he was awake and crying at the point when a feeding would occur. Then we did the same sleepsack and songs for bedtime routine and left. He started sleeping solid after a few days of training but waking at like 1230am and 4am to eat and we fed him. Within a week he dropped to 1 feed at 330-4am and then a week after that he went from 11pm to 730am wake up and it was glorious. </p> <p>We fed at 730, 1030, 130, 430, 7pm, and woke him for a dreamfeed at 1030pm. That got us to the one MOTN feed at 4am. Then I started offering 1/2-1oz more to his daytime feedings and suddenly one day he just slept all night. I would say 6 weeks later we dropped the dreamfeed and he started sleeping 12 hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698045 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 11:25:54 +0000 LCTBQE 2698045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also! Caveat that this did not work for us until he was 4 months. I tried cutting out a feeding at 3 months and it flat out did not work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698044 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 11:24:31 +0000 LCTBQE 2698044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I just kind of tried like hell. I pumped and did bottles, which he drinks more willingly than nursing when he's not desperately hungry, I offered boob/bottle twice in each waking period between naps instead of just once, and sometimes do a 10pm dream feed. I kept careful track of everything for the first week or so (still do actually) to make sure he's getting at least 30 oz/day. He's a big baby (90th percentile) and that's what he needs to be full. Basically just try to ply him with milk and do your best. It might take a few shitty nights to iron out, but if you stop feeding him at 4am, he WILL drink a lot more at the 7am feed :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698028 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 11:03:55 +0000 jape14 2698028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: You're right; we didn't expressly night wean. I personally didn't feel comfortable doing Ferber/CIO for all night feedings that early because my son had reflux that was well-treated on medication, but still seemed to be associated with more frequent and smaller feedings. When they are little and still napping a few times a day, it takes quite a bit of effort to get them to take full feeds during the day. So we worked with our nanny to encourage fuller feeds as opposed to snacking during the day while simultaneously removing the sleep/eat association that seemed to be the actual source of some of the night wakings/feedings. I can't speak to how well CIO/eliminating night feeds to get him to eat during the day better would work -- my sense is that the building blocks of self-soothing/removing the sleep/eat association need to be firmly in place before that would be an effective strategy.</p> <p>I just looked back at baby connect and it looks like DS dropped down to one night feeding within a week of starting sleep training/Ferber. It also settled to a fairly reasonable time of somewhere in the 2:30-3am hour, which was approximately 8 hours after his last feeding. In other words, it was reasonable for him to potentially be hungry then! Once he showed us he could go until a certain time (I think we picked 2am), I wouldn't feed him before that and we would Ferber as needed (rarely need to, though). So basically, once we made progress (as in, a few nights where he made it that long), we wouldn't go back. </p> <p>Re: dropping the last feeding, we weaned him off of his reflux meds around the 7.5-8 month mark, and just like with that second night feeding, we found that he started eating more during the day (including solids!) and less at night. Once he went 2-3 nights in a row with no night feedings, it showed to us that he could do it (plus, he woke up hungry and ate really well that day, so the cycle continued) and then we Ferbered very minorly should he wake up after that. I think there were a handful of nights where that was needed and DH was the one to do it. We found that to be a good strategy during this process -- I would only go in if I intended to feed him. If we wanted him to try to go back to sleep, DH would be the one to do checks as necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2698008 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 10:20:41 +0000 Goldengirl 2698008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Just reading through these comments again as I'm thinking about it more and wondering how you made sure your LO got his full feeds during the day? Mine just currently does NOT take enough during the day and seems to really need those 2 night feeds (he is 3 months old). I'm not sure how to change that, or if it will change on his own... apart from pouring milk down his throat, which I obviously won't do :P</p> <p>@ShootingStar: We're using a pacifier too... it is currently my saving grace and the only way he falls asleep on his "own".. but I know we'll have to wean from it eventually. Did you do it all at once? Just remove the pacifier, close the door, and let him cry?</p> <p>@jape14: Thanks for this info! So it sounds like you didn't really night wean from feeding, it just happened on its own? That's where I get confused... if we should start CIO when he still feeds twice a night, and if how long we continue to do those feedings, or if we apply CIO to those as well, to force him to get the calories during the day instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690310 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 12:44:13 +0000 gingerbebe 2690310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did extinction CIO with DS1 at 13-14 weeks and did both naps and bedtime at once (we started trying gentler methods at 12 weeks and escalated to extinction over time). DS1 had 3 bad nights of crying and then was fine after that. Naps took a bit longer - like a week or two. But as the night sleep got organized and his awful sleep deficit started to get dealt with (he was an extremely colicky and refluxy newborn) he started sleeping a TON because he was just so so so tired from months of no rest. Like he went from sleeping maybe 8 hours broken up in a 24 hour period to like 17 hours or more. DS2 we started letting him fuss before all his naps for up to 10 minutes beginning at 3 weeks old so we never really had to do CIO. But we were immune to letting our newborn fuss a little after the hell that was our firstborn, LOL. DS2 did well with coming in for comforting either after the first 10 minutes or midnap - he would calm down and could go to sleep on his own. DS1 would become a psychopath if you came back in and then left - he'd get excited and think it was play time and then freak out when you left.</p> <p>For us the foundation to both boys sleeping was a schedule - it provided a lot of consistency for everyone. We had a daily waketime of 730am and bedtime was 12 hours later. We did eat play sleep and fed every 3 hours the first 3 months and it slowly extended as they stayed awake longer. (DS1 never jived with the schedule until he was sleeptrained but it gave us a way to organize his chaos on a daily basis). We prioritized their schedule over everything. We also had a sleep routine that was short and predictable (2 songs and a prayer, sleepsack, white noise, dark room). Bedtime was the same but with a bath beforehand. Once we reliably saw a 5-6 hour stretch after bedtime (so I'd be waking at 130am and 430am for feedings) we instituted a dreamfeed at 1030pm before we went to bed to push that first stretch so I only had one MOTN waking. Once they were waking at 530am or 6am I'd work on getting them to eat a little more during the day at each feeding and that would get them to STTN til 730am pretty quickly.</p> <p>By 4 months both boys who are wildly different were on 3 long naps plus a 30-45 minute evening catnap. DS1 was sleeping from a 1030pm dreamfeed to 730am at that age and DS2 was going 12 hours by this age.</p> <p>My order of priority for baby sleep is:</p> <p>Baby sleeps when they should<br /> For as long as they should<br /> Where they should</p> <p>So that daily waketime and bedtime and nailing down when their naps should be (figuring out sleepy cues and the right amount of awake time) was my first priority. At 11-12 weeks my boys were at 60-75 minutes of awake time including feedings before needing to go down for naps.</p> <p>Then it was getting them to sleep as long as they should. So if I'm trying to get 90-120 min naps out of them, I will do what it takes to get them to extend those naps, whether it's checks or patting or CIO - whatever works for your kid. Even if you have to hold them in a dark room for half the nap. If it's nighttime and I know they can sleep a little longer than 3 hours for that first stretch and they are fussing I will wait to go in for a few minutes or try a paci and shushing and try to extend that stretch.</p> <p>I always try to get my kids to sleep on their own. RNP by the bed as newborns then bassinet or PNP and then crib in their own room by 6 weeks. So we always start all sleep in their own space, let them fuss, and then comfort or hold or whatever. If we have to shush or hold them back to sleep, we always try to put them right back down. But once I know they can sleep for a nap or a 4 hour stretch on their own I work on that independent sleeping more hardcore and let them fuss a bit more if necessary. </p> <p>As you can see it's a lot of work. I'm not really getting any more sleep or rest when this is happening. I'm constantly watching and listening to my kids on the monitor and trying to troubleshoot what's wrong. Leaps and regressions and teething happens so you wonder if you're wasting your time. It's HARD to force yourself and your baby to wake up at 730am when you just went back to bed yourself at 6am. It's hard to wake your baby to feed them after you spent 45 minutes getting them to sleep (granted I would give or take 30 minutes on that 3 hour feeding interval). It sucks hard to stay at home constantly to get your baby to nap well those early months. So I totally get it when people say scheduling and sleeptraining are not for them because it's too much work or it's too inflexible.</p> <p>But even with all the regressions and leaps and illnesses, as soon as they are over, my kids both go right back to sleeping 12 hours a night because we remain consistent. My 29 month old naps 2-3 hours a day and my 9 month old takes two 2 hour naps a day. They could not be more different children, but this works for us and they are super happy and healthy.</p> <p>I say all this about the hard work because I always always tell people don't sleeptrain if you're not comfortable with it and don't do it if you're not going to be 100% committed and consistent for at least 5 days with whatever method you try. It's just not fair to the kids. Whether you train or not you are going to be staying up and losing sleep and going through hell so just decide in what way you want to lose sleep and don't let anyone talk you into a method you're not comfortable with. Cosleeping and rocking is fine. CIO is fine. Just pick whatever you and your partner feel works for you guys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690299 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 12:33:56 +0000 Pollywog 2690299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't sleep train due to philosophy and temperament. It wouldn't have worked in our condo. I nurse to sleep, transfer to a crib, and then do middle of the night feeds. We didn't night wean because my supply requires night time feeding. He naps like a champ and sleeps really well if we cosleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690243 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 11:00:12 +0000 SweetiePie 2690243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrswin: @jape14: 🙌🏼 Amen to sleep cues/routine.<br /> Once we used the sleep sack over and over and the sound machine, he instantly got heavy eyes when he heard the zip of the sleep sack and sound machine. He still does to this day at 2.5-ish. </p> <p>Our routine at that age, if it helps:<br /> - bath with lullaby prayers<br /> - turn on sound machine in his room<br /> - book while he dried off and got warm<br /> - lotion<br /> - diaper<br /> - PJs<br /> - zip up sleep sack (for short while was Merlin)<br /> - lights off<br /> - rocking with bottle (he never fell asleep feeding, so I was ok with this being the last step. And it was easy to stop when we needed to. He was still drowsy but awake especialy after burping).<br /> - in crib</p> <p>ETA: nap routine is the same minus bath and drying off, obviously. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690234 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 10:46:02 +0000 jape14 2690234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As @LBee: mentioned, we sleep trained early (right at 4 months - DS went through the 4-month sleep regression early at 3.5 months) and it was life changing! Here is a novel I've copied/condensed from other sleep training posts where I've commented:</p> <p>We started at 4 months on the nose because his sleep was absolutely atrocious and rocking, swaddling, etc. stopped working. It was taking a long time to get him to fall asleep, even with rocking and swaddling, and he'd often wake up shortly after we put him down for the night. He was also having random MOTN wakeups (not to eat) so we were hoping by teaching him how to fall asleep on his own, those would improve as well. We also noticed (on an overnight car trip home over Christmas) that he was started to suck his thumb and use a lovey to self-soothe, so it seemed like a good time to try. </p> <p>We did Ferber, using the intervals from the book (although I think we did the first night at 1/3/5 instead of 3/5/10 or something like that). We got rid of the swaddle and Merlin suit, but neither thing was helping him sleep much anyway.<br /> The main thing was that we were trying to remove the nurse to sleep association. The way we did it is we started pairing a song (we picked Sweet Baby James by James Taylor - definitely doesn't have to be a lullaby) with the bedtime feeding - just singing the same song over and over while I nursed him, toward the end of the session when he was getting drowsy. Over time, he started associating the song with sleep, and we were able to shift the song back so that our routine ended up being: change diaper, feed, put sleep sack (in case he fell asleep nursing, this would wake him back up), down in crib, give him his lovey, sing song, go to sleep. The key is to pair the cue you want to associate with sleep (e.g., a song) with the existing sleep cue (i.e., feeding) and then gradually separate them. (I'm a psychologist so this approach was super intuitive to me -- just like what you learn in a freshman psych course.)</p> <p>The first night, he cried for maybe 15-20 minutes when we put him down. He got the falling asleep thing pretty quickly and within 3ish nights he basically went right to sleep. Before we sleep trained, he would not go to sleep before 8 or 8:30 and would often wake back up within 30 minutes of being put down. After sleep training, he went to sleep at 7:15-7:30 every night. We reduced MOTN wakings and he was able put himself back to sleep if he did wake up (not to eat). MOTN feedings shortened in length pretty significantly. And we were able to put him down awake for naps too. (We weren't planning on nap training but it inadvertently worked.) For the first two weeks, he was still doing 2 MOTN feedings, but after that, he went down to one. He kept that one until he was about 7.5 months old and regularly eating enough during the day to stay full (he had reflux so he was a bit of a snacker until that was fully under control -- this was around the time he went off his meds). He is now almost 2.5 and an excellent, excellent sleeper. I'm due with LO#2 in June and will totally do the same thing with her if needed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690233 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 10:44:45 +0000 looch 2690233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am what I consider a sleep training drop out. We tried to do timed checks at night, but during the day, I wasn't following the plan and undoing the training my husband was attempting at night.</p> <p>Are you keeping a log of wake times and how log your child is sleeping? I think you might also want to read up a bit on tired cues, and get familiar with when you've missed the sleep window. You wrote that your child needs to be really tired to fall asleep, but according to a lot of experts on the subject, you're way too late, and that could be the cause of your issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690228 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 10:35:17 +0000 MrsADS 2690228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For an alternate perspective - we never sleep trained, my son is 17 months now. We didn't because of his health issues (bad reflux, never under great control until 12+ months) and also his personality and our general feeling/philosophy. It has been really hard and he is not a good sleeper. Would sleep training have helped? Maybe. But for our family, it was the right decision. We were not comfortable with CIO with a baby who would cry for hours. You have to do what feels right for you. </p> <p>You can search on this board to see all my desperate not-sleeping posts, LOL - in spite of that I am okay with our decisions on sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690163 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 08:25:44 +0000 LBee 2690163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>-Did you do formal sleep training or did your LO figure it out on their own? Yes. I think it's rare for any child to figure it out on their own prior to 9-12 months. </p> <p>-What type of sleep training did you do, and when did you do it? CIO at 4 months (I think... it might have been 5 months). Checks angered him so we stopped. We only did for night time sleep, not naps. </p> <p>-Did it work? It was magical and life changing. It took 3 nights of Hell, but after that he could put himself to sleep. I will say we were sleep training because he was unable to fall asleep on his own (and our tricks had stopped working), he had actually been STTN since 10 weeks. </p> <p>A bonus of sleep training that we didn't think of was that after that literally anyone could put him to sleep if they did his routine. We were finally able to get babysitters and have a life again. </p> <p>Hopefully @jape14: will chime in too - she's the Ferber expert and ranks sleep training her son among the top 3 best things she's ever done in her life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690150 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 07:46:08 +0000 erinbaderin 2690150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: To be honest, I'm not sure - I had to leave the house. I think it was more to let him know we were still there then anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690146 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 07:27:38 +0000 mrswin 2690146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: We sleep trained at 4 months out of necessity because she refused to fall alseep while being rocked or nursed etc. We used Ferber and I found it difficult (for me lol) because obviously you don't want them to cry. My SO was awesome and really reassured me that since she was crying when we were trying to rock her there wasn't really much difference. The first couple nights we shortened up the check intervals for my own comfort so I think we did 2 min then 5 min then 8 min. We alway used the same phrase when we went in to do a check "it's sleep time, mama/baba is here". She would cry a bit louder after each check but generally only need 2 checks before falling asleep. We kept one night feed until 9 months when we did some light training to get her to 7am. </p> <p>I would also recommend white noise and very consistent sleep cues. We stated this when we trained and still do the same routine before naps and bedtime now at 21 months. Diaper change, rock and sing one song, turn on white noise and put her in the crib. Tell her it's sleep time and leave. Before bed we do a bath but otherwise the routine is exactly the same.</p> <p>Good luck, I know how hard it is but she was such a different baby after we sleep trained that I am so glad we did it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690112 Wed, 01 Feb 2017 00:15:47 +0000 Corduroy 2690112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: We trained both kids at 16 weeks using Ferber's CIO. Actually I should say DH did it. I think it was easier on all of us that way. It was life changing. I continued doing MOTN feeds. </p> <p>With LO1 we were mistaking her last nap for bedtime. She would take an hour to go down, sleep for 20min and take another hour to go down. I didn't realize until later that she was napping, had another wake cycle, and then sleeping. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690105 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 23:30:41 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2690105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I did. At that point I could definitely tell a difference between her "I'm mad" cry and her "I'm panicking/hurt" cry. If she had sounded like she was hurt I would have gone in there. I also have a video monitor and being able to look at her helped immensely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690091 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 22:22:41 +0000 ShootingStar 2690091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sleep trained DS at 7m and DD at 4.5 months. For DS he was getting so hard to put down and cried whether we were there or not. </p> <p>For DD, I was about to lose my mind the week between Christmas and new year's. She was becoming addicted to the pacifier and would only sleep with it in her mouth. And every time she'd get a little deeper in sleep she'd lose it and wake up. I was dangerously tired and decided it was time. I did not initially CIO for wakings, but started to after a few weeks. For her the key was really to make sure she was eating enough during the day. </p> <p>For what it's worth, I don't think CIO will work if they're truly hungry. The might fall asleep but they'll wake up over and over until fed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690089 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 22:10:48 +0000 LCTBQE 2690089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I had heard everything you just mentioned, too--but only anecdotally, and like SweetiePie, my pediatrician was totally resolute that night weaning at that age was fine health-wise, and recommended that we do exactly what we did at the 4-month visit--all the same info she wrote above, that the baby didn't *need* to eat at that time, he just was in the habit of doing so. So I made absolutely sure he was getting his full amount of milk during the day, and after a few shitty nights the hunger issue kinda/mostly resolved. The doctor didn't pressure us, she said if I wanted to keep getting up 2-3x a night for the next few months I was welcome to--but I really wanted to try because I was at breaking point. So it's just one of those things you have to feel out for you and your boo; I don't think there's a wrong answer.</p> <p>Also, another reason I did full extinction: a few weeks before we had already tried dropping one of the night feedings by pushing it back, then forward, and was a huge failure, it just made the baby more upset. And we tried doing ferber checks a few times and that also just made him more frantic. I knew lots of people that ferber worked for, though--just depends on personalities :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690085 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 22:03:01 +0000 SweetiePie 2690085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, also regarding a schedule. You said he isn't on much of one yet and I think there was a misunderstanding or maybe I didn't use the best word - schedule implies same time every day no matter what. At that age I didn't have my son on a schedule per se - It was more based on wake times - so never more than 1-1.25 hours awake. And then that eventually, naturally turned into a pretty predictable routine. An example would be that he started waking pretty reliably at 6:30am, give or take. So his nap was always at 8-ish and lasted 1.5 hours. So that meant I knew that his next nap would be 1.25 hours after the first nap - so let's say 10:45am. And so on. Eventually it turned into 3-4 reliable naps that happened within the same window +/- a half hour. </p> <p>The only time of day I was rigid about was not allowing bedtime to be past a certain time. For us it was 6:30pm because that's all he could handle. Recommended bedtime at that age is between 5:30-7pm which made my jaw drop but the most successful sleepers I know (via their parents) have that early bedtime. That's why they say witching hour happens during those hours - they are tired and want to be in bed after a long day. </p> <p>I asked about your schedule but maybe routine would have been a better word. And the reason was because since he fights sleep that can be a classic sign of being overtired. So if he's spending 1.5-2 hours or more awake at a time I'd consider that to be the root of the problem and tackle that first. You might actually have a baby with high sleep needs and needs less awake time.<br /> Of course I'm an internet stranger so I know very little about you and your baby :-) I'm just throwing out some basics that have helped me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690078 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 21:52:20 +0000 SweetiePie 2690078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I guess it depends what your resources are. Some would say it's too early. But many reputable pediatricians and sleep specialists like Weissbluth (and my pediatrician, who actually does infant sleep seminars in my city) say it's fine and even optimal at 4 months (assuming growth and overall health are on track). I didn't even inquire about it, so I wasnt pushing for it, she just said at his well visit that he definitely didn't need to eat at night at that point and I could/should wean him off. I was tired, so I did :-) I have a hard time believing a pediatrician would tell me to do something harmful to my baby. </p> <p>I can't say whether cio works or not if they are hungry. But a theory is that many babies start waking more out of habit than hunger after a certain point. And they feed more for comfort than necessity. If they can't get themselves to sleep at the beginning of the night, then they will also need help when they wake during the night. So weaning and CIO help to break the habit. I once read that they may feel hunger when they wake up but it's not hunger waking them up. For example, as an adult if I wake up for a random reason at 3am, I may feel hunger pangs because I haven't eaten for 8 hours. But I know that it's the middle of the night and it's time to sleep, so I roll back over and go to sleep. I read that this is the same comparison - the baby wakes out of habit (or even just because we are naturally always going in and out of sleep) and 1) can't put them self to sleep and 2) feel a hunger pangs and don't know that it's not time to eat it's time to sleep. That's where weaning and cio help. And you may find that just teaching the baby to fall asleep on his own at naps and bedtime will eliminate some night wakings. </p> <p>But anyway. Not trying to persuade, Just explaining my understanding and personal beliefs on the matter since you asked a question about the age appropriateness. Like I said, everyone is different and that's ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-how-amp-when#post-2690076 Tue, 31 Jan 2017 21:51:13 +0000 Mae 2690076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: we tried around 4 mo, she cried so hard she puked, I immediately quit and tried again at 6 mo. At 6mo she did not puke. She did cry on and off for like 1hr45min the first night. But no puke. </p>