https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 13:17:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1864444 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 11:46:03 +0000 ellewoods84 1864444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Sooo, we are planning on starting sleep training around the 5 month mark. I figure by then, the 4 month regression should be long over (I don't even know if she ever regressed, lol, as you know her sleep was never good). But, yes I agree just waiting and seeing if Fia is just going through a regression, because she was just an awesome sleeper before! I hope she goes back to it. But, regarding the swaddle! O baby is still swaddled also. We have randomly attempted to not swaddle and it does.not.work. Last night, we tried and it was an epic fail. We tried last week too, and it didn't work. So, I know people say that they think maybe swaddle wean first and then sleep train, but for us, we are going to do it all at once. O baby cries if she cannot have her swaddle. She will not fall asleep without it. We attempted last night and bedtime took us 2.5 hours. That was even with trying to nurse to sleep, rock to sleep, etc. She will not fall asleep without it. So, if she is going to cry without it anyways, we might as well sleep train at the same time. But, don't know how you feel about that! Either way, we plan around her 5th month birthday and we are going to use the ferber method. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1864321 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:56:44 +0000 misstatas 1864321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't take the swaddle away until LO started rolling over in it. Then she preferred sleeping on her stomachs and didn't really miss it. We still use the swaddleme on her so it is secure across her chest and just leave her hands free, but I plan to stop that once winter hits and we pit her in warmer nannies (it is a PITA to take the swaddleme off for diaper changes in the night when I'm not sure she really still needs it!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863970 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 08:00:15 +0000 Mae 1863970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Beebug: I wish we were neighbors and could hang out and commiserate at 3am :)</p> <p>The ped said she recommends naps first because "it's easier to listen to screaming at 3pm than at 3am" which makes sense. But I hear what you're all saying about starting with nights. I've been thinking about it and I think I'm going to wait a few weeks to decide. I feel like she is definitely in a regression and I just want to give her a chance to work it out on her own before forcing something on her. She's always been such a great sleeper I just feel like she deserves a little space to work her issues out on her own maybe. </p> <p>But the swaddle thing. Man I just don't know. I don't know how to get her to go to sleep without it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863965 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 07:56:47 +0000 illumina 1863965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 2 cents...I wouldn't think about sleep training whilst there is a regression/teeth/illness/anything else going on. Even if you do go with CIO, there will most likely be regressions due to teeth/illness/travel/wonder week/it's Thursday etc. where you'll have to re-train...so if you aren't prepared to go through the crying again on subsequent occasions, maybe it's not the method for you. I would also deal with the swaddle weaning separately...maybe first?</p> <p>That being said, we did extinction and it worked wonderfully for us in 1 day, tacking naps and night time together. That wasn't too bad, but the odd night of CIO we have to do every once in a while gets hard now that she's older and more aware :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863892 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 02:09:34 +0000 Beebug 1863892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No tips, just hugs, clearly I have no idea what the hell to do. We had those few good nights last week and back to sleep hell this week, 4th week now? Shoot me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863866 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 23:39:20 +0000 Corduroy 1863866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We sleep trained (Ferber) at four months. It worked really well for us in getting LO to sleep. I kept the MOTN feed until LO dropped it herself.</p> <p>Like PPs mentioned, I think it's more common to train for night sleep first and then naps. Ferber's book pretty much guarantees good night sleep with his methods and then says essentially good luck with the naps. Bedtime went from a two hour walk a thon to a five minute routine in five days. Getting a crib nap took several training attempts over the course of a year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863546 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 17:28:58 +0000 Dandelion 1863546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would wait until at least 5 months. Month 4 is a battlefield for sleep, but once M hit 5 months, he completely changed. Just this past weekend he started finally STTN (8pm-6am). He did it on his own.</p> <p>Maybe swaddle wean, first, and then sleep train?</p> <p>I agree, with @merbaby14: that you should train for night, first, since that is the easiest, natural sleep time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863407 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 15:19:08 +0000 merbaby14 1863407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, also, I think it made more sense to start with nights, not naps. The natural urge to sleep is way stronger and harder to fight at bedtime. My LO is an awesome night sleeper but nap training has been waay harder for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863399 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 15:15:54 +0000 merbaby14 1863399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We trained at 4 months based on our pedi's directions and it was one of the best things we've ever done for all our sakes. So I, and our doctors practice, do not believe 4 months is too young for most healthy babies. </p> <p>I would also be concerned about swaddle weaning at the same time. Maybe you can drop the swaddle for a week then start the training? My LO's sleep went to crap at 3 mo and at 3.5 we decided to drop the swaddle bc his sleep was so bad anyway then did a modified ferber program with 3 checks at 5,10, and 15 min. </p> <p>To address your concern about your LO also possibly going thru the 4 month sleep regression, it was once explained to me that around 3-4 months, baby sleep becomes more behavioral rather than simply instinctive. Which is why often "good sleepers" become bad ones if they come to learn to rely on us to help them sleep. Often this natural shift if labeled a sleep "regression" when maybe it's just the result of them responding to what we are teaching them about how they should fall asleep. </p> <p>The good news is that this would also imply they are developmentally ready to "learn" a new way to fall asleep ( ie sleep training)</p> <p>I'm no expert! But that explanation helped me make sense if it all for our situation so maybe it can help you to. Goodluck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863360 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:56:55 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1863360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that you're going through this! I'm going to tell you what worked for us, but remember that you have to do what's comfortable for YOU. The key is just to stay consistent with whatever method you end up going with.</p> <p>We started right around 4.5 months and started with nights. We also removed the swaddle at this time too so that he could find his hands to help self soothe. We used a binky, but I'm kicking myself now since he's almost 2 and still uses it for comfort. My BFF also did CIO for naps (she watched him twice/week), and she ended up nap training him at the same time on the days she had him. </p> <p>We did extinction. Going in for checks just made him escalate, so we didn't bother. My limit was 1 hour. The first night, he cried for 20 minutes and soothed himself to sleep...but then woke up at 3am screaming bloody murder. At 3:59, I was ready to go in when DH told me to give him another minute or two, and he actually settled. I don't know who was crying harder during that time...him or me! </p> <p>It's sooooo hard to listen to initially. I often had to leave the house or go into the basement and put headphones on while DH had the monitor upstairs. For some reason, he tolerated it far better than I did. I have to say that consistency was our key...whenever we broke the consistency, that's when he reverted and we had to start all over again. </p> <p>Wishing you lots of luck and love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863359 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:56:44 +0000 looch 1863359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think Ferber and Weissbluth do a good job of explaining what the "rules" are for baby sleep, that was where I started because i had no idea about methods. You kind of have to experiment to see what works...for example, I tried to do night only and not naps, but that didn't work with my son...it had to be all or nothing in terms of training. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863354 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:54:06 +0000 immabeetoo 1863354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we had good luck with no cry sleep solution but at 5.5 months. I personally would never swaddle wean at the same time as CIO. We found LO slept better out of the swaddle because he was shortly after able to roll on to his stomach and suck his thumb! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863322 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:40:44 +0000 ctownmacaron 1863322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh, I feel you! I'm in the same boat, yet only at 13 weeks. I'm planning on sleep training with the Ferber method in a few weeks. Hubby will be doing the first put-down while I leave the house. Good luck to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863304 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:31:32 +0000 BabyTsMom 1863304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: sounds like your pedi is recommending the Shuffle.. But I think doing nights first or both is usually more common than doing naps first....check out this summary for a brief description of some of the more common methods:<br /> <a href="http://sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/sleep-training-methods-demystified/" rel="nofollow">http://sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/sleep-training-methods-demystified/</a><br /> A couple of weeks ago, we ended up doing a modified ferber, where we spaced out the checks farther than what ferber states. Our LO did better than expected, and really only the first night was hard (but not as hard as I'd thought it would be!). The following nights up to now, we haven't had to check on him because if he cries, it's short or he just fusses.<br /> I have no experience with no cry methods but I guess I'd say that if your LO is already crying a lot anyway, you might as well let her cry during training and see how it goes? She may surprise you, like my LO did. It was hard to do, but seeing him in the morning all smiles and not angry with me made it worth it. Feel free to wall me if you have specific questions! I feel for you..... It's so hard to make the decision but once you do, it'll be worth it!</p> <p>Now, if you have success with naps, please let me know! I just started a thread on that..... :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863276 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:19:19 +0000 Cherrybee 1863276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally think that the 4 month regression isn't a great time to sleep train. I read (on here somewhere - Mrs Bee wrote a blog post about it) that 5.5 months is the perfect time. Mind, my baby still screams herself to sleep sometimes at 14 months and still wakes up at least once a night so take anything I say with a pinch of salt. Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863272 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:18:30 +0000 Kemma 1863272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: my advice would be to do a bit of reading about the various sleep training methods / philosophies and then go with what fits your comfort level and works for your baby! And you shouldn't feel like you need to sleep train if YOU don't want to because at the end of the day it isn't your Pedi who gets up in the night :-) </p> <p>Good luck and I hope your sleep improves soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863270 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:18:18 +0000 Lindsay05 1863270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sorry that its hard right now. We did straight out CIO with both LOs. I know you said you want less crying but it was short term agony for us but long term reward. Seemed like if were near them, they cried harder so it was 'easier' to watch on the monitor rather than always checking in. Wall me anytime if you have questions regarding it. I have not looked into any other method so hopefully you get some advice on other options. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863254 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:12:06 +0000 Zbug 1863254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're looking for less crying, I would check out the No Cry Sleep solution. I'm sorry :(. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-my-4mo-overwhelmed#post-1863240 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:05:30 +0000 Mae 1863240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I don't know a lot about sleep training/cry-it-out/ferber/extinction/etc. I've heard about it, but I don't really know whats what. </p> <p>Our pediatrician recommended today at our 4mo appt that we sleep train because LO has been screaming when we try to rock her to sleep and she said it will just be better when she learns to self-soothe. She also said she thinks we could/should swaddle-wean at the same time. Oh also, the screaming is due (I think??) to the 4mo sleep regression. </p> <p>I'm feeling really torn about doing the sleep training because 4 months seems young to me, and because I feel like the 4 mo regression is hard on HER (not just us)... and swaddle weaning + sleep training while she's going through some hard stuff seems like a lot. But I do see the ped's point about ripping the band-aid off and getting her sleeping swaddle free on her own now while her sleep sucks anyways so when we come out of this we have a great sleeping baby. </p> <p>So I'm considering it. </p> <p>Ped said her recommendation is to just sit next to the crib and soothe baby with pats and calming words, but not pick her up. Just let her cry until she falls asleep. Start with naps and then add nights once naps go well. Is that a "method"? </p> <p>Can anyone explain briefly what other methods there are? (some that may have a bit less crying? if that is even possible?). Sigh. I guess I just need a primer on my options. I tried googling but everyone claims to have the best method and I'm a bit overwhelmed by options and not sure which ones are semi-legit. </p>