https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Jul 2026 03:58:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726681 Thu, 20 Apr 2017 10:24:55 +0000 JLC53 2726681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: I didn't think I could do it either, but I just kept repeating to myself that first night was if I go in now all that crying would be for nothing. Honestly bedtime wasn't bad, middle of the night was the worse. I just sat in my bed crying... Repeat repeat repeat - if I stop now all the crying would have been for nothing... I don't know, it worked for me... 1st night was the worse and it going better from there... We still fuss sometimes going to bed... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726605 Thu, 20 Apr 2017 08:49:26 +0000 jape14 2726605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldengirl: he didn't cry too much at all. I think the first night he cried for maybe 15-20 minutes when we put him down. after that, most of the crying was he'd cry for 1-2 minutes, calm down, so we'd start the timer over, and then he'd never make it past that higher check level. </p> <p>for the last feeding, he went a few nights in a row without waking up at all around 7.5 months. as a result, the next day he would be really hungry and then eat really well (solids + bottles) during the day, and the cycle would perpetuate where he wasn't waking up from being hungry at night. once we knew he could do it, there were a handful of nights where he woke up at his usual feeding time (2-3am) and DH went in and did Ferber soothing/checks. for those, we just started at the beginning Ferber intervals (I think 3-5-10?) and he never made it past the first check. </p> <p>re: reflux -- the main symptom DS had was snacking and not wanting to take full feeds. so he'd snack all day and then eat better at night because he was sleepy. once his reflux improved (in our case, he was on Prilosec), we worked on getting him to take full feeds during the day, which then meant he was less hungry at night. solids improved the situation even more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726596 Thu, 20 Apr 2017 08:32:10 +0000 mrsjd 2726596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used Ferber, so CIO with checks. I read it cover to cover on vacation and then implemented it when we got back. Right around 4.5 months. Prior to using Ferber, she was refusing to sleep at all unless she was held, the moment we put her down she cried. I was a zombie and it was unsafe for all of us. My husband was the one who didn't want to do CIO and I basically had to force the issue. My daughter had classic bad sleep association and no ability to self soothe. She was waking every single sleep cycle.</p> <p>-Did you start the timer from when you left the room, or from when baby first started crying? When we left the room for both going to sleep and MOTN wakeups. </p> <p>-When you went to check/soothe, what did you do? Did you ever pick up? Did your checking actually do anything or just make it worse? Did you just leave the room again even if the crying intensified, rather than baby calming down? It depended. Honestly the checks didn't do much other than to reassure me that she was ok. I tried really hard not to pick her up, but if I ever broke down and did, she would go immediately to sleep and snuggle or just smile at me. So I kinda knew she was just crying because she wanted to be held. </p> <p>-Did you apply the same method to night wakings, or only for bedtime? All of them.</p> <p>-If you were still doing night feedings (which I am, EFF, currently down to typically 1 MOTN feed), did your LO drop the feeding after sleep training, or did that come later? We found that she really still needed one night feeding at first. Usually between 2-4. That got dropped around 6.5 months when she started eating more solids. My pediatrician swore she didn't need to eat, but that girl was hungry. She's enormous at 90th percentile, so I didn't force the issue.</p> <p>-Did sleep training at night improve daytime nap sleep? Yes! Basically immediately she went from only sleeping in a swing or being held at daycare to going to sleep easily in her crib.</p> <p>I can't recommend sleep training enough. It saved my sanity and while she still doesn't always sleep through the night, it's gotten a million times better and now doesn't wake up every sleep cycle like she was before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726527 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 23:42:52 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2726527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We sleep trained at 10 months using CIO with checks.</p> <p>1. When we left the room<br /> 2. We had a phrase we would say. "Night night. I love you." If she was standing we'd lay her back down and repeat the phrase. We never picked her up or patted her back or stayed in the room for an extended period of time.<br /> 3. Only bedtime. We didn't sleep train to get her to sleep through the night but because she would no longer fall asleep while nursing.<br /> 4. Yes! About 2-3 weeks later she dropped her MOTN feedings on her own and started sleeping 12 hours overnight. She still sleeps 12 hours overnight. I think learning to self soothe was the key for her.<br /> 5. Um.... it got a little better. She started napping in her crib instead of in the car or on me. Her naps really improved when she dropped to one nap at 12 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726498 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 20:36:49 +0000 Goldengirl 2726498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: sooo helpful thank you for all the details! Good to know about starting the timing over. Sounds like your guy didn't cry for too long based on what you're saying about the checks? I'm worried mine will just go on forever:( Did you night wean for that last feeding or just go cold turkey? Our guy has reflux too and still taking Prevacid... can you explain what you meant about that affecting night feedings and sitting up? Sorry, so many questions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726479 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 19:46:14 +0000 jape14 2726479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did Ferber with DS starting right at 4 months. We just started out training for falling asleep at night. Your description sounds exactly like what was happening with him so we figured if he was already crying anyway despite our attempts, we didn't have anything to lose. Sleep training was definitely one of the best parenting decisions we made (DS is now 2.5). Ferber took us about 3-4 days to get him falling asleep on his own at night, and he was soooo much happier after that. He has been a pretty good sleeper since then, too! Answers to your questions below, but let me know if you have any follow up questions:</p> <p>-Did you start the timer from when you left the room, or from when baby first started crying? <b> from when baby first started crying. if he calmed himself down, we started the timer over. </b><br /> -When you went to check/soothe, what did you do? Did you ever pick up? Did your checking actually do anything or just make it worse? Did you just leave the room again even if the crying intensified, rather than baby calming down? <b> We didn't pick up, just patted him and said it was time to sleep. Checks worked fine at that age, but he rarely needed them (i.e., he would get through 1-2 checks, but never cry long enough to go to the next interval if that makes sense) </b><br /> -Did you apply the same method to night wakings, or only for bedtime? <b> we started out just for falling asleep/bedtime. within maybe 2 weeks, he was down to one night feeding at a reasonable time (usually in the 2-3am neighborhood). prior to that, we were dealing with 3+ night wakings and taking forever to go back to sleep. we eventually trained out that last night feeding around 7-8 months (after he had shown he could go without on multiple occasions and was eating enough during the day), but it took maybe 1-2 nights? </b><br /> -If you were still doing night feedings (which I am, EFF, currently down to typically 1 MOTN feed), did your LO drop the feeding after sleep training, or did that come later? <b> DS had reflux so he kept 1 MOTN feeding until that was resolved/he was off meds and sitting up fulltime. I was totally fine with the 1 feeding as it was at a time he might reasonably be hungry and, after sleep training, he'd eat and go right back to sleep. </b><br /> -Did sleep training at night improve daytime nap sleep? <b> DS was an inconsistent napper for a long time, but once we sleep trained were able to put him down awake for naps too despite not ever doing any sort of nap training. </b> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726470 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 19:38:39 +0000 Goldengirl 2726470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bump if anyone else can offer advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726429 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 16:45:49 +0000 Goldengirl 2726429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JLC53: This is so helpful, thank you!!! And you are so brave for doing full on CIO. Ugh, I'm worried we might have to but I honestly don't know if I can handle it :( I think my biggest worry is that I'm gonna break and just say screw it, and mess up the whole thing... which I reeeeally don't want to do.</p> <p>@catlady: Thank you!! When I imagine walking in and seeing him crying and talking to him and leaving with him still wailing, it breaks my heart. How did you handle it? And after the night feedings, would you just put her down and continue the process if she cried, or did you help her back to sleep for those wakings? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726402 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 15:32:48 +0000 catlady 2726402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've only sleep trained one baby (haven't done it with my 4.5 month old) but here are the answers for DD:</p> <p>-Did you start the timer from when you left the room, or from when baby first started crying?<br /> -- Started crying, but they were basically the same thing</p> <p>-When you went to check/soothe, what did you do? Did you ever pick up? Did your checking actually do anything or just make it worse? Did you just leave the room again even if the crying intensified, rather than baby calming down?<br /> -- No pick ups, just walked in, said something comforting, I think we may have patted her, and then we walked out. It sometimes calmed her a little, but not much. Never made it worse though. I remember leaving again while she was still crying.</p> <p>-Did you apply the same method to night wakings, or only for bedtime?<br /> -- Yes for some night wakings, although we kept night nursings so if it had been a long enough period of time, I nursed her</p> <p>-If you were still doing night feedings, did your LO drop the feeding after sleep training, or did that come later?<br /> -- She dropped them gradually over time. When we trained, she was 5.5 months and still eating 2-3 times per night. She dropped them all by 10 months.</p> <p>-Did sleep training at night improve daytime nap sleep?<br /> -- No, not really, but within a few more months, naps consolidated (once she hit 2 naps per day, they became long) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726386 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 15:08:53 +0000 JLC53 2726386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can not highly recommend sleep training enough... It really saved our family's well being. We waited a little longer then your LO (8 months), but if I were to do it all over again I would sleep train earlier...</p> <p>We wanted to CIO with checks, but in the end it didn't work for us. My LO would get more upset with me checking in on him and ended up doing extinction. </p> <p>To answer your questions:</p> <p>Did you start the timer from when you left the room, or from when baby first started crying? </p> <p>When baby started crying</p> <p>-When you went to check/soothe, what did you do? </p> <p>Talk to my LO and let him know it is OK and it is sleep time</p> <p>Did you ever pick up? </p> <p>No</p> <p>Did your checking actually do anything or just make it worse? </p> <p>Made it worse, IMO</p> <p>Did you just leave the room again even if the crying intensified, rather than baby calming down? </p> <p>Yes, only stood for a few moments to reassure him I was there.</p> <p>My LO never calms down from crying unless I pick him up so I'm not sure what the checks will accomplish. But I don't think I can handle extinction/full on CIO (at least not yet).</p> <p>I thought the same thing about full extinction and it was hard, very hard, but I am very happy I did it.</p> <p>-Did you apply the same method to night wakings, or only for bedtime? Jodi Mindell's book (recommended by my doc) says to do your regular routine for night wakings, the idea being that once they figure out how to fall asleep at bedtime on their own, they'll start to be able to do it for night wakings without having to "train" at 4 in the morning. Any thoughts on that?</p> <p>My guy was already night weened, I hadn't given a bottle at night in months... I treated night wakes just like I put to bed, extinction. </p> <p>-If you were still doing night feedings (which I am, EFF, currently down to typically 1 MOTN feed), did your LO drop the feeding after sleep training, or did that come later?</p> <p>I couldn't answer this, maybe other can, but I have heard you can do the feeding and put down just like other wake ups. </p> <p>-Did sleep training at night improve daytime nap sleep? LO is still doing the dreaded 30 minute cat naps and it's driving me nuts. Really hoping that might improve if nighttime sleep improves!</p> <p>Yes!!! Once we switched to 2 naps, naps also got way better... We switched to 2 naps while sleep training. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleep-training-qs-for-those-who-did-controlled-crying-methods#post-2726361 Wed, 19 Apr 2017 14:07:16 +0000 Goldengirl 2726361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So LO has hit a wonderful phase at 5 months where he will freak the eff out when put down. Before he'd go down awake with some fussing and take the pacifier most nights and fall asleep. But those days seem to be over. The only way he falls asleep now is to be held/rocked until he's asleep, and even then I have to try over and over to put him down until he finally gives in. He'll wake a few times at night, and after feeding, he takes forever to go back down, often more than an hour. This is not a long-term solution for me, as I need my rest, my back is breaking, and I don't feel it's good for him either.</p> <p>I'm gearing up to sleep train soon after we go through a move (figured best to wait since I didn't think it would be a great idea to do it and then make a big transition and possibly have it all undone). I am leaning towards a controlled crying method a la Ferber/Jodi Mindell/Sleep Sense... honestly, I don't even really see a huge difference between any of these!</p> <p>For those who followed a CIO with checking method, I'd love if you could answer some questions based on your experience:</p> <p>-Did you start the timer from when you left the room, or from when baby first started crying?<br /> -When you went to check/soothe, what did you do? Did you ever pick up? Did your checking actually do anything or just make it worse? Did you just leave the room again even if the crying intensified, rather than baby calming down? My LO never calms down from crying unless I pick him up so I'm not sure what the checks will accomplish. But I don't think I can handle extinction/full on CIO (at least not yet).<br /> -Did you apply the same method to night wakings, or only for bedtime? Jodi Mindell's book (recommended by my doc) says to do your regular routine for night wakings, the idea being that once they figure out how to fall asleep at bedtime on their own, they'll start to be able to do it for night wakings without having to "train" at 4 in the morning. Any thoughts on that?<br /> -If you were still doing night feedings (which I am, EFF, currently down to typically 1 MOTN feed), did your LO drop the feeding after sleep training, or did that come later?<br /> -Did sleep training at night improve daytime nap sleep? LO is still doing the dreaded 30 minute cat naps and it's driving me nuts. Really hoping that might improve if nighttime sleep improves!</p> <p>Thank you for your help! </p>