https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 16:08:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-730659 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 20:55:07 +0000 Smurfette 730659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: you will LOVE a king. You can cuddle when you want but get space when sleeping. It is awesome! One of the best decisions of our marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-730580 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 20:31:12 +0000 Happygal 730580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Irunforfun: this is us! I'm such a light sleeper, and if I'm woken up, I'll have a hard time falling back asleep. My husband will stay up later and sleep in a little later and will often stay in the guest room. Sometimes I don't like it, but most of the time, I don't mind. I just need to know that is his plan for the night, b/c otherwise I'll wake up looking for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-730545 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 20:20:40 +0000 sarac 730545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that sleeping separately because you both sleep better is nothing but positive for a relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-730211 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 17:49:10 +0000 shopaholic 730211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: I think a bigger bed will be a lifesaver for you. Until then, I don't think sleeping separately for your reasons, is harmful to your relationship. A sleep-deprived, cranky woman is more harmful in my opinion! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-729931 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:17:22 +0000 Ra 729931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the most part, we never sleep in the same bed. I am a RIDICULOUSLY light sleeper and DH sleeps a lot like your husband (snores, thrashes, jumps around like a fish out of water). If we sleep together I don't get any sleep. I also go to bed early (around 9 or 10) and DH is up until 2 or 3 in the morning so he wakes me up when he comes to bed. So, he usually sleeps on the couch.</p> <p>I don't think it hurts our relationship at all. We make sure to spend time together watching TV or a movie before I go to bed. It's not like we go to bed at the same time anyway, so I don't miss him being in bed with me. If nothing else, a good night's sleep and a wife that's not cranky helps our relationship! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-729888 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:01:26 +0000 oliviaoblivia 729888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is we stay in a hotel and get two beds we'll sleep in both. It makes me remember how much I like waking up to him. I've designed rooms for two king beds because the couple doesn't like bed sharing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-729868 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:52:28 +0000 IRunForFun 729868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: Ugh, yup, a full. It sucks! But we're in a small-ish apartment and we're moving at the end of next month, plus getting married in a few months, so like I said, one of our first purchases is going to be a brand new king bed. I can't WAIT! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts/page/2#post-729856 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:46:52 +0000 shopaholic 729856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: oh man! A full size bed? No wonder you get woken up! My DH is a very light sleeper but I have been the one woken up by his loud snoring once in awhile. When I was working there definitely were a few nights I went to sleep in the guest bedroom because of his snoring. I definitely think a King size bed is a must though! DH gets so bothered at the slightest touch when he's asleep and though I complain about it, I can barely reach out to touch him in our Cal King. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729823 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:34:42 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 729823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish we had a spare bedroom so one of us can use it. Dh tosses so much I can't sleep well at night. Some times I have to beg him to sleep in the recliner that is in our room. I'm sure he feels the same about my snoring.</p> <p>ETA: OPPS didn't mean to hit submit yet. FYI my brothers BFF &amp; his wife have never slept in the same bed. He snores really bad so he gets his own room. They probably have one of the best marriages. 20 years and counting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729780 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:19:08 +0000 IRunForFun 729780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: No, I think you're right, every night might create distance, especially if you didn't at least spend a few minutes cuddling and chatting before you went to your separate quarters! On the nights we do sleep apart, I typically start out in the bed until he falls asleep, and only if I'm having trouble sleeping do I move. I think even if we ultimately decided to have separate beds forever, we'd make sure to spend the few minutes before bed snuggling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729732 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:02:39 +0000 Bao 729732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We never have, but I say whatever works, then go for it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729718 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:54:31 +0000 lawbee11 729718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If both parties are on board or even prefer it that way, then it probably helps. I think it would hurt, though, if the routine because just to go their separate ways and not really interact. If the physical interaction is still there, I could see how that would help couples that have difficulty sleeping in the same bed. Luckily DH and I both enjoy sleeping in the same bed (and sleep well together), so this hasn't been an issue. He did sleep in the guest room for a few nights last month, but it was because he was sick and I'm pregnant--didn't want to risk it! He sent me texts from the guest room saying he missed me every night :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729703 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:46:33 +0000 Lindsay05 729703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have never. However I would love to send our dog to a separate bed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729702 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:45:50 +0000 spaniellove 729702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: I have a friend who has a separate bedroom from her boyfriend. People are sometimes taken aback when they hear this, but it really does make them more physically comfortable to have different sleeping temperatures and arrangements. And it doesn't mean they're any less affectionate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729700 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:43:49 +0000 Charm54 729700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree it depends on the reasoning behind it. Luckily DH and I are both pretty heavy sleepers so we both can get a good night's sleep. I love the minutes before we fall asleep just chatting (or more! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729618 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:13:00 +0000 googly-eyes 729618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say do whatever works for you. If it starts to be a problem then address it. If not, don't worry about it! Sounds like your relationship is better this way..</p> <p>I also think it depends on if it's every single night or some nights. Every night seems like it would create distance, but then again, maybe that's just in MY relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729492 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:29:22 +0000 Revel 729492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wrestle with this a lot. SO snores but it's never been a huge problem until I was pregnant. Now that I'm dealing with PG insomnia, one of us, usually him, spends one or two nights a week in the other room so I am woken up less. He's totally not bothered by it and just sees it as a means to an end (both of us getting sleep). I tend to overanalyze and wonder if this is horrible for the relationship, but I recognize that pregnancy is a finite time in our lives, so I try to be OK with it. I hope to get back to us sleeping in the same bed all the time after the baby is born, but I know that brings a whole new set of sleeping arrangement and challenges! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729457 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:11:34 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 729457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Helps for sure! Bad sleep creates resentment. We slept in separate beds all the time during my pregnancy since I snored so much ad I felt terrible when I kept dh up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729446 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:02:52 +0000 IRunForFun 729446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: Don't be afraid to admit it! If it helps, it is worth it. If we had a better option (right now we just have a futon for a second bed) we might sleep apart more often, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729412 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:46:17 +0000 Mrs. Polish 729412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm often afraid to admit it, because we get an awkward response, but we sleep in different rooms. When we were first married I was really upset that we didn't because it isn't what married people are supposed to do. I've gotten over it because I'm much more comfortable sleeping alone, and so is he. It doesn't effect our intimacy at all, and really makes us happier with each other because we don't fight about the bed/sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729397 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:42:28 +0000 Anagram 729397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me and DH, it would hurt our relationship. Not only do we sleep in the same bed, but we make an effort to go to bed at the same time. Even on weekends, ifw ant of us wants to stay up late watching a movie, the other one will sleep on the couch until the movie is over and then we'll move to the bed together.</p> <p>Who knows what will happen when LO arrives though. That may all change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729331 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:16:19 +0000 DillonLion 729331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really depends on the circumstances. Right now we've been dealing with this a ton because DH wants to sleep out on the couch every single night so he can get undisturbed rest without me/baby/dog bothering him. </p> <p>On my end, it hurts my feelings and makes me feel like he doesn't want to be close to me. </p> <p>So, I'm trying to get over that, because it isn't that he doesn't love me, he just wants to get better sleep. And he's trying to sleep in the bed more frequently so that we can connect physically a little more frequently (not sex necessarily). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729287 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:52:19 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 729287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it can definitely be helpful for many relationships to sleep separately. Like @hergreenapples: said, it's all about the reasoning. For DH and I it would hurt us. Our schedules are so tight we feel like we never get time alone together, so have that close proximity at night is "our" time (you know, until LO joins in at midnight.) Also, I'm a physical touch person so I need some snuggles! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729244 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:39:52 +0000 Pepper 729244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do this sometimes. DH snores very loudly if he's not feeling well. I'm a light sleeper, and he'll keep me awake all night with that noise! So, if he's particularly congested, he sleeps in a guest room. Works for us! Though I do prefer him sleeping (quietly) next to me. </p> <p>I have a friend whose parents have slept in separate rooms for decades due to her dad's snoring. They said that's a large reason why they've been married for over 30 years! Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729148 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:14:53 +0000 heffalump 729148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My and dhs parents have slept in separate beds because our dads snore. They've both been married forever and are still happy. Is be sad if dh and I had to sleep separate, but for some people its necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729136 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:10:37 +0000 prettylizy 729136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I typically HATE when DH sleeps in the spare room as I sleep much better when he is in bed. When one of us is sick, we sleeps apart and when DD was a brand newborn he slept in the spare room. We were up for multiple hours all night long and he had to go to work so instead of stressing out about keeping him up, he just slept across the hall soundly and I actually got more sleep because I was much calmer with DD. That lasted 3ish weeks </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729127 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:08:36 +0000 IRunForFun 729127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Hahaha yeah, SO never seems to hear or be bothered by me moving around or getting up or...ahem...kicking him or poking him to get him to quit snoring or mumbling. He can seem soooo restless but the next morning tell me "I slept like a log!" And I just glare at him with my dagger eyes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729125 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:07:33 +0000 Beebug 729125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I slept in our spare room last night!</p> <p>We will at times sleep separately for varying reasons, the next am one of us will usually crawl in with the other and DH always asks me why I left to make sure everything is ok! Always is, sometimes I just can't get back to sleep in our bed after waking with LO and for some reason I can get to sleep in that front room! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729124 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:06:30 +0000 blackbird 729124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A good night sleep is sooooo important. Being overly tired causes MORE strain! We only sleep separate when one of us is sick, though-DH never seems bothered by me getting up, and I rarely hear him get up. As long as it isn't every single night, I wouldn't mind. I sleep the same if he is next to me or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleeping-in-separate-bedshelps-or-hurts#post-729121 Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:05:43 +0000 LuLu Mom 729121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh will fall sleep on the couch at least once a week or move out there when I start to snore and I don't think it hurts our relationship at all. We are both well rested in the morning and happier with sleep. </p>