https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 06:22:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873744 Mon, 25 Feb 2019 09:48:06 +0000 kayla0416 2873744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I can remember having sleepovers as young as 7 or 8 years old, with a couple different friends. One was my best friend all through K-12th grade, and our parents knew each other well, but weren't really friends with each other. The other was with a girl whose grandparents lived next door to us. This girl was one of my best friends until about middle school when she moved to a neighboring town and we grew apart. I remember hearing many years later that this girl had been molested by her step-father for her entire childhood, including during the age that I had been sleeping over at their house. This guy never tried anything weird while I was there - I don't even really remember him being around during sleepovers, but that could've been different...you just can never be sure about what's going on in someone else's house. </p> <p>I now have two girls who are 1 and almost 3, so I haven't had to deal with this yet. I struggle with the fine line between being smart parents and being over-cautious. I think we will allow sleepovers, but not until probably about middle school, and only with kids whose families we know well. Or maybe we won't allow it at all. I haven't decided yet, haha. :)</p> <p>As far as what people actually do during a sleepover - standard was pretty much pizza, movies and snacks, staying up a little late and talking/giggling, pancakes, then parent pickup. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873719 Mon, 25 Feb 2019 06:14:13 +0000 lamariniere 2873719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 8 yo son has been to 2 or 3 sleepovers, but only to a girl's house (we are very good friends with the parents, we socialize frequently and have vacationed with them several times), and my 5yo DD was also there because they have another DD who is her age. So far, I have been completely confident as far as safety goes. My DD recently went to a different sleepover and her girlfriend had also invited one boy. I'm really not concerned about any kind of hanky panky at their ages. We have not yet hosted because of logistics (namely, beds). As far as timing, generally, the kids have already been over in the afternoon for a birthday party, and then just stayed for the sleepover. We pick them up around 10am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873714 Sun, 24 Feb 2019 23:14:05 +0000 ALV91711 2873714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I wouldn’t worry too much about teeth brushing! I’d tell them to do it once but if they don’t then they can just have an extra good scrub the next day when the sleepover is over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873710 Sun, 24 Feb 2019 20:51:58 +0000 creativemomma15 2873710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Just to speak to what you asked @Madison43: @tysonja: about regarding safety.... for me, concerns aren't necessarily only with parents but what other siblings and kids are in the home. I've heard a lot of stories of older siblings or older siblings friends initiating sexual harassment/assault, first experiences of being exposed to porn and even just group bullying type things. ETA: even something like guns in the home and what not can be of concern. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873703 Sun, 24 Feb 2019 20:03:32 +0000 irene 2873703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for all the tips!! Haha, good to know that showering is not required! I was wondering because sometimes I have a hard time making my own kid to hit the shower (or get out of the shower without wasting the entire reservoir of water).</p> <p>And how strange, most of you said 7 is too young for sleepovers, but I swear my friends has been talking about sleepovers since at least a year ago (our kids are the same age). We have gotten invitation but I have politely declined due to our bedwetting issues.. Unfortunately I am no longer very close to them anymore so not sure they are a good place to start.</p> <p>And I guess I have to start working on cultivating friendships with other boy moms for them to accept a sleepover invitation.</p> <p>But teeth brushing is needed, right? How do I provide movie + snacks, and nag them to brush their teeth before bed? Or should I really not worry about it?</p> <p>@Madison43: @tysonja: Oh no, do you mind sharing what happened...? I can't believe there would be other parents / family who would actually molest children....? I mean yes, you watch it on TV / news but it is so foreign you just think it would never happen around you or anyone you know... Yes, my neighbor was saying she would never let her kids go for a sleepover, I thought that was so absurd (and a bummer because that would have been a good starter to invite their DS over for a sleepover!). Maybe you guys know something I don't...</p> <p>@ScarletBegonia: I am with you, my DS is an only child too . Wait, do you mean we can actually do co-ed sleepovers?! I just assumed it is strictly prohibited. And bummer that DS' "best" friends are mostly girls, and the one mom that I am actually better friends with, her LO (DS' friend) is a girl. Then, there are these other boy moms that I am cordial with and our DSes don't play. With all that said, however, I don't think I would ever host a "co-ed" sleepover, I just personally don't feel comfortable with it. hehe</p> <p>Well, I do hope we'll eventually be doing sleepovers because when I transitioned DS into a big boy room, I bought a fancy trundle bed + mattress... I feel like it will never be used lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873664 Sun, 24 Feb 2019 08:34:44 +0000 ALV91711 2873664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: that sounds like fun! We had a family friend here this summer for a couple nights and their daughter is a year older than DS. We asked him if he wanted the cot set up in his room so they could have a sleepover and he refused! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873653 Sun, 24 Feb 2019 01:30:11 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2873653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh wow, my son has had a bunch of sleepovers already and he's not 5 yet! Eep! First couple were with his best friend from daycare (a girl) - on the very first one I went with him, had dinner with the parents, and while the kids were watching a show I said good night and left - the mom kept me updated by text how it was going and they were both asleep by 8:15 or so. I picked up around 9 the next day. We've done back and forth sleepovers with her about 5 times now, its been awesome! He also does tons of sleepovers with his cousins and they come to us. Maybe its extra important to me since he's an only child - I want to give him as much of the company of other kids as I can. I was having sleepovers with neighbourhood friends from about 5 and we all loved it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873651 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 21:26:29 +0000 ALV91711 2873651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is just about 6 and definitely not ready for sleepovers. I wouldn’t be comfortable letting him stay at someone’s house that we didn’t know the parents until he is older. </p> <p>For me I remember having sleepovers at 6 but we lived in a small community and all the parents knew each other. For birthday’s it would generally be lots of kids but other than that it would usual just be one or two kids. </p> <p>I wouldn’t worry about planning an activity. Have a fun dinner, lots of snacks and a few movies for them to choose from. They can just play if they aren’t doing that. I would put them to bed at a reasonable time but not expect that they’d fall asleep right away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873650 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 20:46:04 +0000 tysonja 2873650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'd say my sleepover experiences were about the same as all the ones mentioned above - for school friends it started around grade 6-7-8 etc. Also around 5pm-10am with a simple dinner, lots of snacks, movies, and talking about boys/school, playing truth and dare. </p> <p>we did have a few sleepovers when we were much younger, but all with very close family friends. </p> <p>That said, my husband and I have decided that our LO's will not be allowed sleepovers in general. We've just had one too many friends relate experiences of sexual abuse or questionable activity to feel comfortable with it. No judgement for those that feel comfortable with it, though. I know I loved going to sleepovers as a kid. My childhood self would be sooooo upset at us, but at least for now this is where we stand. Thankfully most of our close friends have a similar plan for their kids, but i know it will be hard when our kids are old enough to receive requests from school friends.</p> <p>ETA: oh and definitely showering is not expected :). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873644 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 19:49:35 +0000 erinbaderin 2873644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>7 seems very young for sleepovers to me! My son is only 6, but my Goddaughters are 7 and 9 and the youngest has never slept away from family and the oldest just did recently, and that was a Girl Guide camp. </p> <p>Other than that, I’d just say don’t try to get them to bathe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873642 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 19:08:18 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2873642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely remember sleepovers being a big grade 5,6,7,8 thing for sure. Pretty much exactly what was described above. Pizza, movie, sleeping bags and giggling all night ha I also did sleepover birthday parties a lot and we maybe went out for pizza or just did it at home, bowling and then everyone in a pile in the basement. My parents just left us be at that age.</p> <p>My coworker just had his son invite a friend for a sleepover for the first time and he’s 8. His friend was already over after school and his son asked for a sleepover so they just had the parents bring the kids stuff over. The friend wears pull ups still and is afraid of the dark so the parents discretely told my coworker that and it was no biggie. He was prepared to call the parents in the night in case but it was fine. The boy was a little nervous in a new place but they just stayed in the bunk beds and no issue.</p> <p>I do remember once when I was pretty young getting scared at a sleepover and the girls mom called my mom to come get me at my request so I would be prepared for that just in case. It was not an issue when we were tweens! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873641 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 18:45:35 +0000 DesertDreams88 2873641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene:<br /> I think the earliest I did was 2nd grade for my bday with 2 girls.<br /> Then I think I had a couple 3-4th grade, and I know for sure I had a bunch in 5th grade.<br /> It was mostly 1-2 girls at a time unless it was a birthday, age 10+.</p> <p>I think for bed they would just check on us every 10-15 minutes or so and keep reminding us to go to sleep. After about age 11 I don't think any parent ever checked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873636 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 18:03:17 +0000 Madison43 2873636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: @irene: yeah, I think the prime time for sleepovers was late elementary school (4th/5th grade) - definitely the “tween” years. I remember sleeping over close friends houses sooner, but my parents were also friends with their parents, so a bit different. I don’t know, when I was younger, I couldn’t believe that some of my friends weren’t allowed to sleep out, but then something tragic happened to an acquaintance who was sleeping at her life long best friend’s house and it changed my whole perspective. I’m not sure if I’ll let my kids do sleepovers or not... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873634 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 17:07:44 +0000 PinkElephant 2873634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You've gotten great advice on the "agenda" for sleepovers.</p> <p>Because you asked if we think others will accept the invitation, I will say I have a first grader (turning 7 in June), and I'm definitely not ready to let her sleep over at the homes of casual school acquaintances, whether it's a big party or just her...she is starting to ask about sleepovers, and I've said that starting this summer, I'd be open to her having a sleepover at the home of a few select girlfriends whose parents I know well (ie., I socialize with one parent and I've at met the other parent, or DH and I socialize with the parents as a couple, we've been to their home before for playdates, etc.), and having those girls here. I may be a little uptight, but just giving you this perspective so that you're not offended if other families aren't up for it quite yet - you may need to get to know the other families of casual school friends a little better before they are comfortable with sleepovers. I remember sleepovers as a girl involving a lot of giggling about boys, which makes me think that we were more like in 4th-5th grade (closer to 9-10 years old) before the group sleepovers/sleepovers with more casual friends began. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873631 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 15:46:59 +0000 wrkbrk 2873631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Agree with this! My parents were (are) anti social so I was allowed to go to sleepovers but not host them. I would love for DS to have the house that everyone comes to as he grows up ❤️ You handle dinner yes (pizza and ice cream). Choose some movies and leave our legos etc. Let the boys sleep together in sleeping bags. I wouldn’t worry about showers. In the morning they would generally be picked up between breakfast and lunch. Enjoy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873630 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 15:35:16 +0000 irene 2873630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: No this is great! Thank you! </p> <p>What age did you start and was it usually a party or was it acceptable if it were just you and the host (or guest) kid? I read somewhere that other parents would prefer it to be a "party" (more than 2 kids) but I don't think I could host a "big" sleepover to start with. Heck, I don't even know if I could host even just another kid lol</p> <p>And what did your / other parents do to ensure you guys actually go to sleep? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873627 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 15:21:10 +0000 DesertDreams88 2873627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this isn't what you asked BUT all of my girlhood sleepovers were more like:<br /> -5/6pm-10am<br /> -Pizza, movie or play around in bedrooms/playrooms, sleep, wake up and have pancakes or donuts.<br /> - Asleep at a generally accepted bedtime in a sleeping bag, a guest bed, a trundle bed, etc. We'd stay up whispering and laughing for awhile.<br /> - My parents would drop me off and pick me up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sleepovers-for-boys-101#post-2873626 Sat, 23 Feb 2019 15:10:52 +0000 irene 2873626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Talk to me about Sleepovers for boys!</p> <p>DS just turned 7. I know that a few people have started sleepovers for their children since 5-6. We have had some bedwetting issues so I always said we'll start when that issue is curbed. We have finally made some major progress (!!!) and I would definitely love to think about how to start! Maybe we'll start thinking, and will properly begin to do it at 2nd grade. (we are in 1st)</p> <p>What age is good for starting sleepover, and what do people do at sleepovers for boys, and what is the usual duration of a sleepover (7pm-10am...etc.)? Do we feed the friend dinner or do we ask them to eat dinner before they come? Do the parents have to arrange activities, or everyone go take a shower, watch a movie, and go to sleep afterwards (am i naive thinking that is enough lol)? Is it a pain to make sure everyone goes to sleep by a certain hour? Do we even need to understand what is bedtime for the other boy so I know what to expect? Any other etiquette?</p> <p>And is it OK to invite DS' good friends from school that I barely know the parents (I'll make sure I met them before, but I wouldn't say we are friends)? Just wondering if people would tend to decline if it were really an acquaintance from school.</p> <p>I have never ever EVER been on a sleepover when I was younger. My mom would never even allow me to stay over at a family friend/ relative's house without her presence! Or I bet if my school had any sort of sleepover camp (not in the wild but even in an established structure lol) I don't think she would have allowed it. (It is truly a miracle how she allowed me to study and live abroad) So this is completely new to me and would love any advice I can get.</p> <p>Thank you in advance! </p>