https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 21:32:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-746529 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 11:43:29 +0000 daniellemybelle 746529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tillma: Good luck! Once you get it all ironed out, look on the bright side: You'll have your weekends as a family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745978 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 09:26:48 +0000 tillma 745978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the great suggestions ladies! I am usually pretty good about figuring things out but I have to admit when it comes to childcare I am a little clueless. All of our family and friends either can afford to have one person stay home, have family to watch the kiddos or work opposite schedules and can therefor be home with the kids so I dont know anyone that has gone through this and can give advice so I appreciate the help! Going to call and check a few things out today and see what we can work out...also have to go through the budget and see what we can cut to make it work. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745910 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 09:06:21 +0000 daniellemybelle 745910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That really sucks - I'm sorry. :(</p> <p>Are church-based Mother's Day Out programs a common thing where you live? Most of them have 1 or 2 day a week options so that might be perfect for you! Not all of them take infants but some in my area do. They may close a couple hours earlier than a daycare but maybe your MIL would be willing to help out with that? Our your parents would come around to just a couple hours a couple days a week? I know it would still be an expense obviously but I've found they are a bit more affordable than daycare and of course more flexible with the part-time thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745889 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 09:02:24 +0000 bunnylove08 745889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. I was in a similar situation. My aunt said she would watch LO and a month before I was about to give birth she backed out (she watched my sister and cousins children). We ended up finding a babysitter who sits out of her house for a reasonable price and its hard on our paychecks but we try to make it work. </p> <p>sending lots of hugs. maybe you could see if someone from your parenting boards could help you find a sitter that is within your budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745774 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 08:31:51 +0000 Revel 745774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tough situation, I'm sorry your parents weren't more receptive to the idea of watching your baby.</p> <p>I ran into a similar roadblock with part time infant care, but we did ultimately find a very affordable in-home day care near our house that we plan to bring our LO to once I go back to work in September, so there are more affordable options out there! Nanny share is also a good idea. There is a google group for mom's in my city that often has childcare related posts, maybe there is something similar where you live? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745749 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 08:20:56 +0000 regberadaisy 745749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry. If I were you I would be extremely hurt as well that my parents would not watch my kids but have no issues watching my brothers. :(</p> <p>I hope you find a solution soon. Hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745742 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 08:18:56 +0000 mrs. wagon 745742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tillma: that would hurt my feelings too... so sorry :( </p> <p>We live in one of the most expensive areas in the country for childcare, and we've been able to make it work. For a while both of us were working full time jobs m-f 8-4 and both of us had side gigs that brought in a few hundred a week. We toughed it out until our financial situation got better, but then we had our second. We're making it work with a nanny share for now (we found a nanny who has her own baby the same age as our second, so she takes care of both girls and it's cheaper) but once our second enters daycare it will be tough once again. I know it all seems impossible (daycare is so expensive!!) but there is a solution and a way, I promise you... you will probably be surprised with the response you get once you start asking around. You might even find someone who's interested in a nanny share. Good luck!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745664 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 07:35:33 +0000 looch 745664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think most states have laws around the caregiver to child ratios, that's not unique to where you live.</p> <p>Put yourself on the waiting list and see what the wait is for an opening. Tell the center upfront that you need part time care and they may be able to accomodate you...did you ask? Mine certainly does, LO goes for half a day every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745652 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 07:29:32 +0000 heffalump 745652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That does suck.... but I do kind of see where your parents are coming from. It's hard to take care of a newborn, especially if you're already watching 3 kids. They probably thought that your brother's kids are growing up so they can get their lives back soon, and they don't want to start all over again. </p> <p>My mom started watching my niece when she retired, but she actually hired someone to help her in the mornings because it's too much work. This way she has time for herself to do things like doctor's apts, run errands, etc. </p> <p>I do think it would be convenient for you if your parents said yes, but I wouldn't blame them for not wanting to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745421 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 01:14:19 +0000 tillma 745421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Infant care is tricky where we live ( and who knows maybe it is everywhere!) because we are a metro area and our state has strict laws about how many infants are allowed per day care. This means it is tough to find an open spot for full time care and even harder for part time. Daycare centers often have more flexibility and therefor more openings but are also more expensive. The first place we called after getting this news for instance would almost eat up my weekly paycheck for full time day care and part time is only 40 bucks a week less (what's the point?!?) working from home is not an option unfortunately. Like I said its a pickle :( we brainstormed some ideas tonight and I plan on asking around with some coworkers tomorrow and hopefully I will get some ideas. It sucks and it is going to be hard but I know we will make it work! (At least that is what I tell my pregnant self so I don't freak out). ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745383 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 23:32:35 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 745383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:( I'd be so so hurt too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745343 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:52:35 +0000 sera_87 745343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you afford part time child care for the other time? Maybe a nanny share or ?? </p> <p>Is working from home an option?</p> <p>ETA: parents = fail. I'd be upset too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745299 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:26:01 +0000 googly-eyes 745299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had family (temporarily) back out on child care too (although it was their idea to be our child care not ours) and it sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745259 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:16:02 +0000 mrsjyw 745259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>HUGGGGS. I'd totally be hurt by this too :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745258 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:15:45 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 745258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. I'd be upset too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745204 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:01:59 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 745204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow-I'm so sorry. As a SAHM, I don't know a whole lots out childcare so I can't help there. I am so sorry your going through this and that you got that response from mom:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-im-kinda-hurt-and-more-than-a-little-stressed#post-745190 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 21:57:07 +0000 tillma 745190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are currently pregnant and due in October and before we even started ttc I (the planner) insisted that we figure out what our child care situation would be. I knew we couldn't afford full time child care (costs as much as our mortgage each month in our area and would nearly eat up one of our incomes) and I knew we couldn't afford for one of us to quit (we earn nearly the same amount and this would mean cutting our income in half and we couldn't pay our bills) which meant we had to get creative. Normally my husband works long hours with weekend time so he gets two weekdays off meaning he could watch the baby while i was at work. We were thrilled when my mother in law (who is beside herself with excitement to be a grandma) volunteered to do the other three. We would still pay her as a courtesy but it would be an amount we could afford. This was a huge relief and all was set until a few days ago when my husband got a "promotion" at work which gives him a very minimal pay increase ( in other words no where even remotely close to covering child care) and took away his weekend hours in favor of the coveted regular m-f 9-5 type gig. Six months ago we would have been beside ourselves with excitement over this but now we are pregnant and in a child care pickle and I am majorly stressed. Mother in law doesn't want to do more than three days which I totally understand so that option is out so of course we next thought of my parents. Let me preface this by saying my brother has three kids ages five to one and my parents have watched them since birth. They adore them. The kids have beds and toys and clothes at my parents house. They spend days at a time there. I would venture to say that out of every month the kiddos are at their house staying over night a total of one to two weeks. So I was a little shocked that when I brought up my husbands new work schedule and our current pickle and asked if they would be willing to help out one or two days a week that I was told that they are too old and watching our kid for a whole day would be an awful lot. They want to be free to go do things when they want and geez the kid won't even be born for a few months and who knows what could happen to them by then...all this when five minutes earlier my mom had been talking about asking my brother if my niece could come stay for two days. I am well aware that asking them to help us with child care is a HUGE favor to be asking of anyone and I am not trying to dispute that all of my moms excuses were 100% valid I just have a really tough time not feeling like total crap when the same excuses don't apply to my brothers kids. Honestly I am just stressed, baffled and in shock. Throw a heavy dose of hormones into the mix and I kinda feel like crap over the whole thing and I am REALLY sorry I ever asked. It is REALLY not the response i thought i would get. I know we will figure it out I guess I just need to vent because my feelings are hurt :( </p>