https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 16:51:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921268 Wed, 02 Dec 2020 20:15:20 +0000 periwinklebee 2921268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: :heart: I'm so, so sorry they've been sick and things are really rough, and relieved it's not covid and your husband was able to have his surgery. I hope you are all feeling better soon, and that the kids need to sleep A LOT to make up for all that lost sleep to runny noses as they start recovering. :heart: You are a total rock star and doing an amazing job with a really shitty situation </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921250 Wed, 02 Dec 2020 07:48:06 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Periwinklebee: thank you! I’m doing ok. I had a breakdown yesterday and locked myself in the bathroom to sob for a good 5 minutes. DH aside, 3 sick kids is no joke and I’m exhausted. The endless whining, snot, and clinging is really getting to me. Once they are well, I think the rest of this journey will seem like a breeze! </p> <p>DH was negative for Covid and had his surgery yesterday. They put several screws and a plate in. It went well! I’m so thankful there was no delay because of Covid! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921245 Tue, 01 Dec 2020 23:35:26 +0000 periwinklebee 2921245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: Thinking of you and hoping things are going okay :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921184 Mon, 30 Nov 2020 17:00:38 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: thank you so much! I hope you and your crew are all doing well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921158 Mon, 30 Nov 2020 09:24:16 +0000 Chuckles 2921158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: I don't have any advice, but I wanted to send you good thoughts! It sounds like you are doing an amazing job already with a difficult situation. Setting up systems now will help in the long run. Fingers crossed that it's just a cold! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921156 Mon, 30 Nov 2020 08:40:24 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: oh my gosh, that sounds so hard, and your dryer was broken on top of it all? I really appreciate your advice and perspective. I think it’s great some of the responsibility you gave DH stuck. I’m thinking this might have some positives things come out of it too!</p> <p>My husband now realizes all the things I do on a day to day basis because all he can do is watch me run around. It has honestly made him appreciate me more, which feels good! Your sleep advice doesn’t sound crazy to me. Last night, the twins woke up around 10 and were both fussing and screaming because they felt crumby. I was running from crib to crib trying to comfort them both and wondering how I’d keep it up all night. I had to make a tough decision: I gave them some Tylenol, patted their bottoms, and I had to let them cry it out for 15 mins. It was sad, and I felt horrible about it (since they are sick) but it worked, and I got some sleep! </p> <p>DH has a Covid test today, and if he passes, he has surgery in the morning. He caught whatever the kiddos have, so we are really hoping it’s not Covid. Two weeks of delay will be a huge setback on his recovery, so FX it’s just a cold. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921154 Mon, 30 Nov 2020 08:03:31 +0000 SweetCaroline 2921154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh mama. DH broke his leg and had surgery to have a steel rod placed when DD was 2.5. I was in my busiest season at work, it was winter, and also our dryer broke. He was out of commission for weeks. Now, I did not have 3 kids, it wasn't a pandemic and we were healthy. But tough is tough and you can do this.</p> <p>My best advice: prioritize your sleep. Don't punch me in the face. I know it's next to impossible. I also know that you are likely running on adrenaline and will crash at some point. Things I did to help:</p> <p>-Gave DH admin responsibilities (that he never had before). To this day, he owns the relationship with our cleaning people and I don't lift a finger in that regard.<br /> -Deliver work to DH (sounds like you are already): baby and clothes/diapers, laundry to fold, paperwork to be done. Basically, what can you give him of your normal duties so you can take on his physical duties?<br /> -Is there a compelling activity you can purchase that DH can play with the kids as his special thing so you can get $h*t done? Go Fishing game was that for us.<br /> -Sing Let It Go from Frozen and Just Keep Swimming from Nemo. Wish I was kidding :grin: </p> <p>The worst was looking at the Christmas stuff on the top shelf of the garage and also using a broom to pull the snow shovel down from the rafters, praying I didn't take myself out. You can do this!</p> <p>I will be thinking of you. I know this is really really hard. Today I look back and feel so proud of myself for climbing that mountain and it adds so much perspective to my (literal) every day. Hang in there and keep reaching out to us for support. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921151 Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:17:48 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: you are right! We are all adapting, and he is for sure helping in areas he can like laundry folding, baby changing, bottle feeding, and helping with our 4 year old! I quit my job in July to stay home with the kiddos a few years, so at least I don’t have the added stress of work right now.</p> <p>There are just so many physical things I’m use to him doing: helping carry babies upstairs to playroom and their cribs at nap and bedtime, taking out trash, getting decorations from the attic, carrying in and unloading groceries, etc. I think these physical demands are what have been hardest on me to do alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921149 Sun, 29 Nov 2020 14:20:31 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2921149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your husband can still help. It’s a heel, he may not be able to do everything as usual but like kids do when they break bones, he will learn to adapt. If you’re working remotely I would take a day off per week at least. Now is the time. This year has been wild! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921147 Sun, 29 Nov 2020 11:16:04 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: you are right about that! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’m so glad you are loving it. I can’t believe our babies are ONE! </p> <p>@ALV91711: Thank you! I am definitely going to look into getting some help when we are all well. </p> <p>It’s tough right now, but I am incredibly thankful for my family. There are so many great suggestions and tips on here that have helped me immensely the past few days. Thanks to everyone for your support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921144 Sun, 29 Nov 2020 09:44:44 +0000 ALV91711 2921144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Offering some hugs as you’ve got lots of great advice. </p> <p>Once you are all healthy I’d get a mother’s helper. Give yourself a bit of a break and someone different for the kids to play with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921138 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 22:04:59 +0000 periwinklebee 2921138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: :heart: after surviving this year, anything life throws at you is going to seem like a piece of cake :heart: I kept thinking of tips, and then thought "oh wait, she has TWO one year olds, that won't work." One one year old is hard (albeit wonderfully hard) enough. You'll get through and things will be better. We are doing well. It's 2020, and true to form has been one of those Murphy's Law type years, but could always be worse and I absolutely love being a mom of two. So hope you get some relief soon!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921135 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 15:38:42 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: thank you, and it’s great to hear from you! How are you and your littles doing? </p> <p>We are 100% quarantined fir the next 2 weeks. No one is leaving or coming over. My husband has to get a Covid test before his surgery Monday. He is feeling funky too, so I assume if he has it, the kids have it too. </p> <p>Thanks for saying that! I will definitely give myself some grace, but I’d hate if they died! They do make me really happy. I got a watering can today and just went around and watered every single plant at once. I figure if I do it every Saturday, they might have a chance! </p> <p>We will see if I can keep it up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921129 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 09:14:20 +0000 periwinklebee 2921129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are going through all of this, you are a saint. </p> <p>Just wanted to recommend you call your ped about the kids, and most importantly, don't have a neighbor kid or others over if you've been exposed to covid. The incubation period is 5-14 days (i.e. it takes awhile to have symptoms after exposure), and people are most contagious before having symptoms. </p> <p>You can only handle so much, and if the plants don't get enough care, it's really not your fault. I say that as someone who really loves plants and spends as much time as I can in the garden. But your sanity comes first. :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921115 Fri, 27 Nov 2020 08:52:24 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: the backpack it a brilliant idea that I’m implementing today! Thank you. He can at least carry his water bottle in there! </p> <p>A few other things I’ve done per everyone’s suggestions: broke down and bought paper plates and bowls. DH reads to DS at night and I put him to bed. Even these two small changes have helped some! </p> <p>@erinbaderin: Good idea! I can’t see myself packing all these kiddos up right now, so that will take the pressure off me. Thank you. I’m just looking forward to 2021! It’s got to be better, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921113 Fri, 27 Nov 2020 08:43:08 +0000 erinbaderin 2921113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: I would make your mom go for a test, and base your decision on that.</p> <p>Also, UGH I'm so sorry, this is too much for one person! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921112 Fri, 27 Nov 2020 08:13:43 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Now my kiddos are all sick. Sneezing, super congested, low fever, and fussy 😩 they were around my mom 6 days ago. She is displaying symptoms of Covid now, but was healthy at the time and we had no idea my dad had it. </p> <p>I’m not sure if it’s just a cold or what. Would you take them in for testing? Ughhhh 2020 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921111 Fri, 27 Nov 2020 08:09:43 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: yes, he is using crutches to go to the restroom and he can use a scooter for the same. But other than moving from room to room and the restroom, he is on strict orders to elevate it and be off his feet. </p> <p>Thank you for all of huge suggestions. I really appreciate them! He did entertain my 4 year old, most of yesterday, so that helped a lot! </p> <p>@JCCovi: Oh no! That’s awful. I’m so sorry, and I hope you are feeling better. Frozen meals are definitely my best friend right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921110 Thu, 26 Nov 2020 21:37:30 +0000 JCCovi 2921110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My situation was different but 4 weeks ago I fell off my bike and broke my elbow. Mine were 4 mo (now 5!), 5, and 7. All the work fell on DH because I couldn’t even lift the baby out of her crib or nurse without help. What helped us the most was asking our existing housekeepers to start folding and putting away laundry. We also relied heavily on the freezer meals from Trader Joe’s. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921109 Thu, 26 Nov 2020 21:18:30 +0000 Littlebit7 2921109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: so will they let him use crutches non-weight bearing? I guess I’m<br /> surprised they won’t let him use a knee scooter to get around the house for short distances. . It’s non weight bearing at the heel assuming he doe and have anything other than a calcaneal fracture. .<br /> (I’m a PT). He might even find a walker is more stable for when he has to stand<br /> Outsource whatever you can. Get groceries delivered (he can be in charge of ordering online everything)<br /> I’d put him in charge of entertaining the 4 yo within reason; get a little table he can pull up aside the sofa so he can engage with her. Kids are pretty flexible with working with what they are given (ie, a bed bound dad). Adults aren’t, lol<br /> This sounds awful; I’m so sorry you are going through this<br /> If you can swing it, I’d strongly consider a housekeeper or a mother’s helper. At least to tackle the rote daily cleaning stuff or laundry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921108 Thu, 26 Nov 2020 20:37:30 +0000 catgirl 2921108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One more thing if he will be using crutches - make sure he has a backpack or messenger bag. DH has had a couple of knee surgeries and has had to be on crutches, which means he can't carry anything. Keeping a backpack with him meant he could move things around the house without me. Obviously not everything can go in it, but we found it really helpful </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921107 Thu, 26 Nov 2020 20:27:10 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caitcat: haha, they are not my thing either! I mean, I love to look at them, but I already have too many kids and dogs to keep alive. </p> <p>That’s such a great idea, and I have a 12 year old down the street, who would be perfect for the job. I’m going to ask his parents tomorrow! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921105 Thu, 26 Nov 2020 06:49:52 +0000 caitcat 2921105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: The fish and plants made me think of when we "babysat" my brother's 30-something houseplants while he was on a six month stint overseas for work. I don't even know why I agreed to keep them in the first place because plants are NOT my thing! I ended up hiring the eight or nine year old kid who lived next door at the time to come water them after school. He loved the "job" and was surprisingly responsible about it. I'd totally outsource the fish and plants! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921103 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 21:00:32 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: yea, and the worst part about it, is that he broke it trying to do a “jump” on his mountain bike 🙄 so although I have a tad bit of sympathy, I’m really pissed at him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921102 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 20:37:59 +0000 gotkimchi 2921102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: oh no that totally blows </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921101 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 20:35:11 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: he is going to have his foot up after surgery for 6 weeks. No driving, or walking, or scooting. 2020 needs to go away. </p> <p>@ElbieKay: you do! How neat! It’s so so exhausting, and mine literally both started taking steps this week 😭 they are all over the place, and my four year old wants to have wrestle mania with them all day long which is equal parts cute and stressful. </p> <p>I know I should look into help, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Help like a sitter? Or a housekeeper? I don’t even know where I need help most! </p> <p>Plus DH has a fish tank hobby (4 large tanks) and we have around 30 houseplants that he usually cares for. Now that’s all up to me to care for, on top of everything else. </p> <p>Maybe I should hire a fish tank guy 😭 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921098 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 18:45:26 +0000 ElbieKay 2921098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I literally have your life. (Older singleton + twins with a 4yr spread.)</p> <p>I think you should consider hiring help especially if your twins are learning to walk. That was the hardest point of twins for me. It is really hard to spot two fledgling walkers by yourself.</p> <p>I’m really sorry, this sucks. My twins are 2 now and still exhausting but so much fun. I love listening to their little conversations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921089 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 13:45:50 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AB810: ughhh that’s terrible! I’m so sorry you are in the same boat! It helps so much to hear that I need to let go of trying to maintain my normal household. Your advice and tips mean so much! Thanks, and you’ve got this too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921088 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 13:39:12 +0000 AB810 2921088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband tore his miniscus Nov 3 and has been bed bound ever since. He had surgery Monday but still needs to stay off it for another week or two. I've had no help because of Covid and it is SUPER exhausting. My tips-<br /> let anything that you can go. My house is dirty and I finally got around to putting away laundry yesterday only because underwear was low. It doesn't matter right now. </p> <p>I've let a lot go for holidays. Bare minimum and only things that I actually want to do. </p> <p>Simple meals and take out more than usual. </p> <p>Totally let go on screen time rules for the 4 year old if you have them. You need whatever breaks you can get. It's a marathon and definitely not the time to try to have it all together. You got this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/so-overwhelmed-and-need-to-vent#post-2921087 Wed, 25 Nov 2020 13:34:41 +0000 gotkimchi 2921087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jessiemuller88: yes get all the info at the consult. Hopefully after the surgery it will be less strict as far as restrictions for your dh. But honestly I’m sorry and it’s sucks but you’ll get through it! 2020 am I right? </p>