https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 03:31:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883613 Tue, 07 May 2019 17:20:59 +0000 gotkimchi 2883613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: this is dead on. We all get it but how do we change it???? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883563 Tue, 07 May 2019 13:02:54 +0000 pwnstar 2883563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I have not visited this site in *months* . . . but a BIGFATFUCKINGHAILSYASSS to all of this. It's bananas. Fucking bananas. </p> <p>We have no local help. We both have uber demanding careers. We haven't been on a trip/weekend/overnight away alone together since we had our oldest 6.5 years ago. I work well beyond full time hours which means I work out at 4am, still wear winged liner on a daily basis (application occurs sometime between 5 and 6am), I bake holiday-specific cutout sugar cookies for every one of my child's holiday centers at school starting at 9pm the night before (and try to volunteer too), and basically just toddle around like fucking Barbie trying to make the Dream House(/Life) a reality. I am exhausted and will promptly fall asleep after I eat my pre-prepped meal prep dinner tonight at approximately 9pm (that I make while spending quality time with my kiddos at home on the weekends between dance/karate/swim lessons while Marie Kondo-style folding the shit out of the million pieces of tiny laundry). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883560 Tue, 07 May 2019 12:23:19 +0000 MrsMom 2883560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband recently told me I need to try and have some "me time", maybe go out with friends or something......I laughed, the kids laughed, I think even the vacuum chuckled. Needless to say I didn't talk to him for the rest of the night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883555 Tue, 07 May 2019 11:28:15 +0000 psw27 2883555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The hardest part about all of this, is that everyone gets it and nods and is like holy crap this is the hardest thing I've ever done.... and there is nothing I can do to change my life or lifestyle at this point. So overwhelming! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883498 Mon, 06 May 2019 22:09:09 +0000 Mrsbells 2883498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: so true! So much is expected of us. I read a post somewhere that said never in history has a mom had to balance as much as the modern mother. It can be so overwhelming! I just make sure to follow pages that keep in real on honest parenting and that serves as a good reminder that other moms are struggling too </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883311 Sun, 05 May 2019 08:27:03 +0000 gotkimchi 2883311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thepaperbutterfly: I’m also a retail rph and my store manager just asked me the other day if I work for spending money. I was like no I make more then my husband, I work cuz we have bills, I went to school for a long time and still have loans, I’m good at what I do etc etc and honestly I would suffer at home all day. People can shove it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883297 Sun, 05 May 2019 00:11:42 +0000 thepaperbutterfly 2883297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Somewhat related to this. . . When I was pregnant with my first child I had so many other colleagues shame me for putting my future child in daycare. Granted, I'm a retail pharmacist, so I cut down to 4 days per week, and I work a lot of weekends, so I'm still home with my kids a lot. I would prefer to stay home with my kids more, but we have bills to pay. Even patients have tried to make me feel guilty for working. The other day a stay at home dad asked me who was taking care of my babies and I told him they were at daycare. He then said, "Oh, so you're a single mom?" No, my husband works too. We both work. . . I'm pretty sure my husband has heard this from no one. Then there are the daily comments about my post-partum stomach from patients. I have a connective tissue disease so the diastisis recti is a bit more severe than most. If someone pushes me about it I'll go into the long speech about Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and pregnancy. I have a history of anorexia, so I should be upset, but I have two amazing kids. Most people are kind of apologetic after I tell them I already had my baby, but some people are really nasty about it. Both men and women actually. Being a woman sucks &gt;:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883191 Fri, 03 May 2019 15:23:24 +0000 Chuckles 2883191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved this, too, of course. And @babypugs: is right - no one really gets it except other working moms. I have a coworker without kids who keeps encouraging me to get another certification that would require "only" 6 credit hours of classes. She says things like, you can just take classes at night and on the weekends. And I hate to be that person who says, you really don't understand if you don't have kids, but that's the truth. I do feel lucky that the school my son is in for kindergarten has many, many working moms, so there aren't too many events during the day. But I still feel guilty about missing the ones that there are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883184 Fri, 03 May 2019 14:43:56 +0000 babypugs 2883184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has been going around my FB and it's crazy how many people it resonates with. How did we come to this? Why is this our lives? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm generally happy and love my family and job and my husband does a ton and even with that I just feel so.overwhelmed. all the dang time. There just aren't enough hours in the day, and no one gets it except other moms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883181 Fri, 03 May 2019 14:23:57 +0000 ALV91711 2883181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: even if we did live near to any of our parents they all still work. So the sick days, early pick ups would still fall on us. I can only dream how awesome it would be to go away for a weekend as a couple! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883178 Fri, 03 May 2019 14:16:17 +0000 nwm 2883178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: lol, thank you for saying that because i do feel guilty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883172 Fri, 03 May 2019 14:04:26 +0000 LCTBQE 2883172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: TOTALLY. </p> <p>@Anagram: ugh, I'm not there yet because my kids are younger than yours, but I know the problems you describe will be in my lap in a couple of years. love how people are constantly like, "well teaching is such a great job for moms because you can just be there for your kids and it's so flexible." people really think this--it's so obnoxious. </p> <p>@MrsADS: @ALV91711: yeah, what a dream it must be like to have reliable family close by. when I was younger I was jealous of people I knew who were really rich or had super charming lives--now I'm just jealous of people who have not-insane and physically healthy moms who are like, we're going on a couple's long weekend for our 10th anniversary, my parents are watching the kids. can you imagine?!</p> <p>@graceandjoy: "pre-k graduation" -- ??!</p> <p>@nwm: haha, I don't think you have to feel guilty about caring about your career or preferring to get back to real life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883138 Fri, 03 May 2019 10:54:02 +0000 graceandjoy 2883138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Re: vacation time, totally want to chime in and vent too. First of all I got wiped out 2x within 2yrs when I had to take unpaid maternity leave and use up all available PTO before FMLA kicks in. Don't understand how people have so much PTO to go on vacations. My 2nd is almost 2.5 and only this year have I started to actually save PTO, which then to be taken mostly when the kids have off, so let alone taking MORE time on top of that for trips. </p> <p>Between May and June, my oldest is going into K and there are all these events we have to go to that start in the middle of the day. Thankfully my boss is understanding and will make it work. 10am kindergarten orientation, 1:45 mother's day tea, 9:30am kindergarten screening, 11:30am pre-k graduation.... Getting dizzy thinking about it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883135 Fri, 03 May 2019 10:48:11 +0000 nana87 2883135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is all so real. Especially lately I've been thinking I should find a therapist and the time it'd take to find one that takes insurance and then to carve out time for the appointment is too daunting...! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883117 Fri, 03 May 2019 09:34:39 +0000 nwm 2883117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>(i wrote another version of this response and i think it got swallowed by the interwebs)</p> <p>yassss to all of this--except (and i feel the need to get this off my chest, so i guess i'll do so here?) that i do not enjoy taking leave. there, i said it. my work's maternity leave policy is very generous and yet DH and i have agreed for this pregnancy i'm only taking half of it, because the last two leaves have been emotionally really tough for me. i love my job and find it energizing. i trust our nanny, especially with tiny babies (she's so good with them, better than i am honestly), and i need the break. plus, i do care about my career, want to get ahead, show that i can do all the things a man can do in the job, etc. i feel like it's unfair/sexist that my DH can return to work 3 days after our kids are born and no one bats an eyelash, but then people look askance at me that get antsy and don't want to take as much time as i can. so i would add that to the list :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883115 Fri, 03 May 2019 09:20:52 +0000 Shantuck 2883115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I read that, it reminded me of my own personal to do list (still need to buy that birthday gift for next weekend's birthday party and teach my almost 7 year old to ride a ride (ugh!!!)!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883106 Fri, 03 May 2019 09:01:11 +0000 ALV91711 2883106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: yes, we have no family where we live to back us up. Every sick day we have to take time off work. Neither of us have been able to volunteer for any kindergarten field trip or to help on the class. I can only see it getting harder as they are involved in more. I know it’s our choice to live where we do but school sure doesn’t make it easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883102 Fri, 03 May 2019 08:57:03 +0000 graceandjoy 2883102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So many yes and the first time I read it, I definitely teared up because I can relate to just so, so so much of this (like, every point). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883101 Fri, 03 May 2019 08:55:40 +0000 CatyLady 2883101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So true, love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883096 Fri, 03 May 2019 08:44:57 +0000 Autumnmama79 2883096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennlin821: hugs. If I think to much about things, I feel the same. One foot in front of the other for now, and that’s it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883095 Fri, 03 May 2019 08:35:35 +0000 jennlin821 2883095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Guys, there is so much going on I can't even laugh at this. </p> <p>I AM SO ANGRY. This probably deserves a separate board post, or really a therapy session (please see above for reasons why its not feasible) and discussion with my husband. </p> <p>I am so fatigued over politics, racism, sexism, making the magic happen for my family, supporting my husbands career, and working full time. </p> <p>I'm so tired. I'm so angry. I'm so sad.</p> <p>The thing about the post above, is that its written to sound ironic and funny. But its not.<br /> Its just the truth and I'm so angry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883090 Fri, 03 May 2019 08:06:39 +0000 MrsADS 2883090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anagram spot on to what you said - it is REALLY hard to do everything with no family backup. We live far away from both our families. I am so, SO jealous of people I know whose parents/siblings/etc. live nearby. Can't imagine what it would be like to be able to call my mom and have her watch my kid if he's too sick for school, or whatever. It is so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883088 Fri, 03 May 2019 07:45:27 +0000 Anagram 2883088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: yessssss.............all of the "you have no vacation time left" is so true for me.</p> <p>When everyone was venting about the school dress up days on the other thread, I REALLY FEEL the frustration, first hand. And that's because I have a really inflexible job with scant time off during the school year, and I've kind of been shocked at all the events the school puts on and invites parents to during the school day. The night events are much easier for us, even though even those are a PITA because of dinner and homework and bedtime. But at least it doesn't require one of us to burn our PTO.</p> <p>The fact of the matter is, for people who don't have family nearby to pick up some slack (occasional school pick up, or help with sick days, or even just inviting you over 1x a week for a meal), it is really, really hard to raise a family on your own.</p> <p>We recently had 1 of our after school sitters quit, and I'm stressing out about the 5 (! yes, 5! How can a school distric have so many early dismissals?) 1pm dismissals that are going to happen between now and the end of school, because we have NO ONE to do it now. And that on top of 3 field trips that parents were invited along to as chaperones, 1 field day that parents are invited to, the Kindergarten graduation ceremony, the Pre-K "moving up" ceremony, the Elementary school spring sing, and neither of us have ever been able to make it to be a Mystery Reader. All this, between May and end of June. If either of my kids get sick (and I'm sure they will), we are screwed.</p> <p>How do they expect houses with 2 working parents to swing all these events? It's literally impossible. So we miss half the events, and we deal with disappointed children and we feel guilty.</p> <p>My own self-care and health issues are so far down the list, it's not even funny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883087 Fri, 03 May 2019 07:45:22 +0000 skinnycow 2883087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I saw this on facebook and shared it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883085 Fri, 03 May 2019 07:37:21 +0000 gotkimchi 2883085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw another thing that I think sums this ups which was : society expects women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883078 Fri, 03 May 2019 06:47:11 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2883078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883076 Fri, 03 May 2019 06:30:32 +0000 Ajsmommy 2883076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Saw it and also shared it.</p> <p>TRUTH </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883058 Fri, 03 May 2019 00:17:43 +0000 Nutella 2883058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: the bit about the pre-baby dog! Face palm...so true. Great read 😅😭😅 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883046 Thu, 02 May 2019 22:23:13 +0000 LCTBQE 2883046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My favorite part: “Have dance parties.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/society-to-working-moms#post-2883040 Thu, 02 May 2019 21:53:14 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2883040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. </p>