https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 08 Aug 2026 03:14:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989607 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 09:20:16 +0000 Adira 989607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: Thanks! Maybe I'll try to explain it to him like that. I guess he just really doesn't understand what the growth percentiles means - I think he thinks if we're not in the 90s, we're failing or something! I guess he sees it more of a grade and less a statistic! I'll try to use your example to explain it to him next time it comes up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989597 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 09:17:39 +0000 ALV91711 989597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Taking him to the next appointment is a good idea. I think you hubby needs to have a better understanding of percentiles. </p> <p>My pediatrician explained it like this on our first appointment. If you line up 100 babies of the exact same age yours would be #90(or whatever the % is) out of a hundred. And that all babies are different sizes and they just use it to measure if your baby is growing. </p> <p>Maybe that would get him off you back until the next appointment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989553 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 09:09:12 +0000 Adira 989553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ginabean3: Thanks hon!!! It's crazy to me that they get caught up on this number too because whenever people look at Xander (INCLUDING my mom), they always remark what a big baby he is! But then when they hear the number, they're like "ohhhh... he' snot eating enough!" People are crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989536 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 09:06:46 +0000 Adira 989536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sotofamilia: Yep, that's exactly what I do! Feed and then straight to bed for me! Hopefully he'll give you a longer stretch!!! Good luck! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989523 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 09:05:01 +0000 Ginabean3 989523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So annoyed for you! Your DH and mom are way too caught up with stats and need to look at Xander as a whole baby. You are his mama and you know him best. OBVIOUSLY if he was distressed and not getting enough you would know and feed him more. But he's happy, healthy,and fine! He's just petite..,no biggie. Childhood obesity is a big problem these days anyway! Hang in there! We support you! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989517 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 09:03:21 +0000 sotofamilia 989517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: 9pm-5am would be a DREAM lol...I'll try a dreamfeed tonight at 9pm and then go to bed right after too to hopefully take advantage if he does sleep a longer stretch. Thanks for the advice!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989493 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:56:52 +0000 Adira 989493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sotofamilia: I didn't tell my husband I skipped the feeding though - he already thinks I'm starving Xander as it, haha! He doesn't seem to understand that if Xander really wasn't getting enough to eat - he'd wake up more!</p> <p>You could try what I do, though I'm not sure it will help! Xander's usually asleep by 7:30, but I wake him up to feed at 9:00, and then he usually lasts until 5:00. Not sure if that would work for you or not, but maybe you could try getting in another feed before you go to bed and see if he'll skip that 12:00 wake-up! Though I know some people hate to wake a sleeping baby, so I totally understand if you don't do this! I just have to in order to get MY sleep for the day, haha. And Xander seems okay with the sleep interruption for food. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989479 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:52:11 +0000 sotofamilia 989479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: well there you go! That should be proof that he's getting enough - I would think he'd be waking up hungry if there was a deficit.</p> <p>And by the way, can I just mention that I'm a little jealous that yours is sleeping through the night lol?! Mine is most definitely NOT - he sleeps 7:30-12, 12:30-4, and 4:30-6:30...I know some moms have it worse, but this current schedule is slowly making my brain explode. I'm hoping when we introduce solids in a few weeks, it'll help! Sorry to threadjack, infant sleep is a much-discussed topic in my house these days!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989459 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:47:22 +0000 Adira 989459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sotofamilia: Thanks!!! Yeah, I'm sticking to my guns - just sick of having the same argument over and over again! Hopefully i can get Hubs to either come to our next ped appointment OR call the pediatrician if he's so concerned about it! And Xander's definitely getting enough - I even give him an extra nursing session that I just discovered he doesn't even need (I attempt a dreamfeed at 9:00 p.m., but when I skipped it over the weekend, he slept just fine all night and woke up happy in the morning)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989450 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:44:34 +0000 sotofamilia 989450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: ugh, I'm irritated with him for you!!</p> <p>I think it's pretty clear that your breastmilk is sustaining Xander just fine, given that he's almost six months! I would just stick to your guns and try to get your DH to come to the ped with you next time.</p> <p>I would also try to nurse Xander as much as possible at home to make sure he's making up any deficit.</p> <p>Good luck - you're doing a great job protecting and taking care of your son mama!!!!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989443 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:43:07 +0000 Adira 989443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tinyperson: Your baby is wasting away to nothing! I can't believe you don't just shovel food into her mouth to make her bigger!!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989439 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:41:26 +0000 tinyperson 989439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tricycle: or my 2nd percentile sweetie! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989435 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:40:35 +0000 Adira 989435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Yeah, I thought my mom was pretty out of line! I was like "How can you say that?? They told me he was hungry earlier, I told them to feed him, I even send an extra bottle every day, and they continue to feed him every 3 hours! So if anyone's reporting anyone, it should be me reporting them, right??? They're the ones saying he's hungry and not feeding him!"</p> <p>@sotofamilia: Oh, I know!!! So I told my husband that I could just barely cover the 15oz we send as is and his answer was "We can always supplement with formula." But WHY???? He doesn't NEED more!!!!</p> <p>Xander's 15 lbs 2 oz as of Friday! So he's gained 1 lb in 4 weeks, which seems exactly right to me! I told Hubs that and he was just all "That's nice." And then I said "He's even up a little in percentile - he's now 18.5th percentile, up from 17th" and Hubs goes "That's still bad!" Ugh!!! It's not a freaking competition!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989424 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:36:31 +0000 sotofamilia 989424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: and the best part is it seems like he says oh just try some more like it's the easiest thing - like where are you supposed to get it??</p> <p>How much does Xander weigh now? </p> <p>I just can't believe they're giving you this trouble if he's STTN, hitting his milestones, and giving enough wet/dirty diapers. Again, that's really frustrating!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989413 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:31:05 +0000 Dandelion 989413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, I'm so frustrated for you! How awful for your mom to say that your daycare will call DSS on you. That's a horrible thing to say!</p> <p>I hope you can get your husband to talk with the ped and learn about what's going on. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989398 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:24:34 +0000 Adira 989398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: Thanks hon!!! I keep trying to use logic with my husband ("If he needed more to eat, he'd wake up in the middle of the night still" or "If he couldn't last 3 hours on 5 oz, he'd get hungrier sooner after daycare") but it just doesn't work! All he can see is that low percentile number and thinks "BABY IS HUNGRY!"</p> <p>I really THOUGHT my going to the LC and getting confirmation that Xander doesn't need more than 5oz in a bottle would end the conversation, but apparently it's just proven that <b>I</b> don't produce enough! Even though BEFORE I went, the argument for sending more to daycare was "He's probably getting more from you than we send in the bottles!" Now that the opposite is true, it's "You're starving him!" I can't win! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989395 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:21:41 +0000 Adira 989395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tricycle: You're STARVING him!!!!!! :)</p> <p>@sotofamilia: Right!!! 5 oz bottles are plenty! I mean, I know some babies probably eat more, but our babies don't need it! Hubs thinks we should just "try it" because "we don't know unless we try it" but I'm like "Uhh... why would we try that?" It's so frustrating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989394 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:21:32 +0000 cmomma17 989394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry!!! :( These are the people who should be supporting you most, not fighting you!<br /> Call the pediatrician have a phone conversation with your husband? Can you print some info out from Kelly Mom or print an email from an LC and give it to your husband and mom.<br /> They both need to relax! You're a great mommy and Xander is fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989377 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:17:09 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 989377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ughhh. I'd hate to think what they'd have to say about my 5th percentile baby.... :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989373 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:15:15 +0000 sotofamilia 989373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: wow, that must be REALLY frustrating!! As you know, our LOs are only a few days apart and I also leave three 5-ounce bottles for him during the day and it's plenty. Sending a few more ounces in the bottles is silly in my opinion because Xander can easily make that up while nursing directly from you at night and in the morning! I can't believe your ped is not concerned and they're still giving you grief - ugh!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989370 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:14:05 +0000 Adira 989370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: As far as I can tell, the only evidence they have for suggesting what they are suggesting is that Xander's in a lower percentile! They're assuming that low percentile = bad and high percentile = good. Since Xander's in the 17th percentile, it's bad and he must not be getting enough to eat, even though he seems perfectly happy with the amount he's getting!</p> <p>I'll definitely try to bring Hubs to the pediatrician next time I go, or insist he call. I just can't have the same conversation over and over and over again!!! And I think the stress of it all IS affecting my supply!!! UGH!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989350 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 08:08:01 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 989350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: that's seriously frustrating. You need to shut all that down. Do not engage in any more discussions about how you feed X. If they bring it up, tell them that the pediatrician and LC (aka PROFESSIONALS) are not concerned and you're not going to talk about it. I think bringing/sending your husband to the pediatrician is a good idea. I don't even see where either of them have any evidence or logic to back up their claims.</p> <p>Ugh, this makes me annoyed for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989287 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 07:33:06 +0000 Adira 989287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Orvis18: @hilsy85: Thanks ladies! I'll definitely encourage him to come to our next appointment and maybe if he bugs me again, insist he just call the pediatrician himself. It's just frustrating because I've TOLD him the pediatrician is happy with Xander's weight and that he's growing just fine, but it's like he doesn't believe me! I'm not even sure he'll believe the pediatrician.</p> <p>@Corduroy: Seriously! It seems like people think it's a competition and that bigger babies are better than smaller babies. It doesn't help that Hubs' sister has a big baby that was always topping the growth charts, so that's what he compares Xander to! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989276 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 07:26:58 +0000 Corduroy 989276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs!! Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Some people have a hard time accepting that babies come in all sizes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989269 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 07:24:40 +0000 hilsy85 989269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry hun...we went through a similar drop in percentiles at the same age, and I wish I had been as confident in my supply as you are, instead I let others freak me out and it created a lot of anxiety. I would just continue to say, his pedi is not concerned and she feels that I am feeding him appropriately." Maybe tell your husband to call the pedi if he really is so concerned? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989247 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 07:12:21 +0000 bushelandapeck 989247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry hon. My DH felt the same because our LO wasn't sleeping through the night until 9 mos...We had many a midnight/3am "discussion" about why I didn't want to give him formula (beacuse he didn't need to eat more!), and in the end, it took having DH accompany me to a check up with the pediatrician for him to be on the same page in understanding growth and development. Maybe you could suggest he come with you for the 6 month appointment, or to the LC if he's really that concerned? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/someone-teach-my-husband-and-mom-about-growth-charts-rant#post-989236 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 06:57:26 +0000 Adira 989236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, my family is soooooooooo annoying. Xander is 5 months and EBF. He was born at 8 lbs 14 oz, so somewhere in the ~70th percentile for weight. At 4 months, he was down to the 17th percentile. My pediatrician is totally not concerned. She says this is normal for breastfed babies, especially once they start STTN, which Xander is doing. She wasn't concerned and I'm not concerned.</p> <p>But my husband and my mom both think that small babies = underfed babies! My husband keeps insisting we send more milk to daycare (we send 5oz bottles) and insists that Xander is hungry, even though he's obviously not. To try to put my husband at ease, I went to an LC this past Friday to do a weighted feed to find out how much Xander usually drinks from me. He only drank 4oz! To me, this was proof that 5oz bottles are PLENTY for Xander. But to my husband, this was just proof that <b>I</b> am not providing enough for our son!</p> <p>Last night, Xander woke up an hour earlier than normal. My husband was CONVINCED it was because he was hungry and insisted that I go feed him and that Xander obviously doesn't get enough milk from me and that after I'm done breastfeeding him at night, we should offer him a couple more ounces in a bottle. I tried to explain that Xander was PROBABLY just going through a sleep regression and not actually hungry, and I went to tend to him and was able to get him to fall back asleep without nursing!</p> <p>So I've told my mom all about this stuff, in the hopes of gaining her support, but I have failed! She thinks the 17th percentile ALSO means that Xander doesn't get enough to eat. She thought I should send more milk to daycare as well. When I told her about the LC visit and that Xander didn't need more milk, she suggested starting solids instead! And THEN she implied that I was being stubborn and starving Xander and that daycare was going to call social services on me because I "don't let them feed him when he's hungry" which isn't even true! Daycare has told me he gets hungry early - I told them to feed him when he's hungry - they continue to feed him every 3 hours - how is any of that me being abusive??</p> <p>I'm just so sick of people giving me grief about this! Xander's a perfectly happy baby! He's meeting his developmental milestones and sleeps through the night and always wakes up in a good mood! Just because he's slim doesn't mean he needs more food!!!! </p>