https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 07 Aug 2026 20:54:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-307174 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 22:54:46 +0000 daniellemybelle 307174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for reassuring me! It's especially nice to hear that I'm not the only neglectful dog owner :) I know it will be different, but I also know that my laziness knows no bounds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301536 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:00:32 +0000 Modern Daisy 301536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry about this too. While I loved my dog, I hated the responsibility and I would get super annoyed when she was bratty to get my attention. She was thankfully pretty good about letting me sleep (as long as she was in the bed too), but it was like she was being tortured if I ever tried to leave the apartment on the weekend without her (she could tell the difference). </p> <p>So I worry I'll feel the same way about my child, which I'm sure I will to some extent but part of me knows it will be different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301470 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:19:56 +0000 sorrycharlie 301470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry about this too. Unlike others, though, I'm not devoted to my dog. I will feel guilt - if I ask my husband to feed him he'll take his sweet time until I feel bad and do it myself. Same with letting him out - my husband thinks he can just wait forever. </p> <p>However, I get so annoyed. My dog makes himself throw up in the morning if I don't get out of bed when he wants me to, and this makes me SO ANGRY. Everyone tells me to sleep before baby comes, but how am I supposed to do that when my dog acts like a brat?? (Trust me - it's not sick belly. we've been through it with the vet, lol). </p> <p>I don't really care too much about 'me' time, but I do get so annoyed when the dog vomits and I have to clean it, when I have to vacuum twice a day because all he does is shed, when the bed is FULL of dog fur to the point that I have to vac our bed and lintroll it before I can wash sheets..and he's not even allowed in our bed... and then wash his bum because when he poops it sticks in the long fur....I worry so much that I'm going to resent LO for things, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301413 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 14:28:32 +0000 mrsjyw 301413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've heard the same sentiments all around when I had the same fear that maybe I won't be a "good mom." That the fact that I'm even wondering about it is a testament to show that I care about it and will be a good mom! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301382 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 14:10:03 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 301382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DANIELLEMYBELLE - i think just the fact that you asked this question shows that you will be, in fact, a great mom :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301379 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 14:08:46 +0000 rachiecakes 301379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was my fear for so long. I love my 'me' time. I love shopping alone for hours, I love doing what I want when I want to. I always knew I wanted kids, but I wondered if I would be a horrible mom because I also love doing things for me whenever I wanted to. I will tell you, I love this little boy so much, I now laugh at myself and think of how I should've had him years ago, haha. There are times where I might get frustrated because it takes longer to leave the house or I have to feed him, put him to bed, etc. when I would like to do something else, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Don't stress - when they say having a baby changes you, it does, but that's a good thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301284 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 13:17:57 +0000 meredithNYC 301284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will not lie. I adore my English bulldog like she's my child (I refer to her as my first-born!) and she was great preparation. However, nothing prepares you for how selfless you have to be once you have a (human) baby. Like Mrs. Wagon there are times when I don't want to go and get the baby out of bed to comfort her when she's crying. I think it's just human nature, though there are plenty of moms who would probably disagree! That said, I do it without question because she's my baby my love for her is so strong. </p> <p>But yeah, there may be times when a tiny bit of resentment creeps in. I definitely experienced that in the beginning but then as time went on I became more used to always putting LO first and it has become second nature. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301261 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 13:03:52 +0000 runsyellowlites 301261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally agree with all the pp.</p> <p>DS is 8 &amp; I've had times where I feel like a horrible mom, too busy, tired, short, frustrated, forgetful, &amp; yes selfish.... But then there are other times, seasons, that DS &amp; I stay connected, I'm patient, engaged, &amp; go over &amp; above. </p> <p>It's just one of those things you accept as a faulted human raising a child. You'll make mistakes, lose your temper, &amp; act selfishly at times but children are like no other in their forgiveness &amp; grace in how they love &amp; accept us. There's a learning curve to parenting so don't stress yourself. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301248 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 12:53:41 +0000 heffalump 301248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately..... kids don't really give you a choice but to be selfless. Your baby will not just let you lay in bed for 30 minutes in the morning. It will cry and cry and cry and cry until you come and feed him and change his diaper. And then he won't want you to put him down so you won't get to get any more sleep. Life will no longer be your own, it will belong to your baby. So be selfish while you still can :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301121 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 11:48:03 +0000 MrsCastro 301121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i got a mini dachshund over four years ago...i told myself i was going to only adopt one puppy...because my mom had three others at the time...so i thought they would be great playmates...the first two weeks were the craziest...i think i got maybe 4-5 hours a sleep a night. he would wake up to pee like no other...he would cry in his crate...some nights i would stick a teddy bear in the crate with him, which he loved...i basically felt like i had a newborn...it took me two weeks to breakdown and get him a playmate and they are the best of buddies, after i got the 2nd pup they slept there entire night in the crate together and have been for the last four years...</p> <p>now i can look back at it and say that not once did i complain about getting up with him a billion times at night. Granted i was a "single mom" to a puppy. if i did it for them i wouldnt doubt about doing it for my LO's especially with DH at my side...it will just have to be a shared responsibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301120 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 11:47:28 +0000 looch 301120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There will be some days you will suck as a mom and other days where you'll just be so awesome it will kill you. It's just one of those things that you've just go to throw yourself into and ride out the waves for the good times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301119 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 11:46:19 +0000 Turd Ferguson 301119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I posted a question kind of like this awhile back, and the responses were similar to what Mrs. Wagon said, "You just find your role and settle into it." A dog is great practice, and your baby is going to be just that...your baby! I definitely hear you and can relate though, it's one of the huge things on my mind! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301088 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 11:28:55 +0000 mrs. wagon 301088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hehe. I will say yes and no... Honestly, before having kids I was super selfish and after having kids I can't even THINK about thinking about myself! There's just no time or energy. We've had dogs since before the first baby, and Wagon Sr. does all the hard work for the dogs. I'm the same way as you-- if he's not around, I'm like, oh you can hold your pee for a while. Or, oh you won't die if you don't get your food right now. I enjoy my dogs and love them so much, but I don't pet them or take care of them nearly as much as Wagon Sr. </p> <p>It's the same before and after the baby, btw :)</p> <p>As for baby... there are definitely so many moments when the baby is crying and I really do not want to get up and get it. There are moments when the baby cries and I find myself actually angry at the baby for crying! At least dogs don't cry... and you can leave a dog alone, but you can't leave the baby alone. It's tough, but nothing teaches you how to be selfless more than being a parent, I think. </p> <p>With babies I do leave a lot of hard work to my husband as well... I use the excuse of "I'm the one nursing and pumping!" which DOES take a lot of energy. So I leave him to change diapers and do a lot of the rocking to sleep. But there are certain things that I'm on autopilot to do... bathing, laundry, washing bottles, preparing the food, restocking diapers, etc. You just find your role and settle into it. </p> <p>You will be fine... :) And having a dog is great prep for having a baby!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301085 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 11:26:03 +0000 Foodnerd81 301085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 100% sure it will be different when it's a baby. I love my dog to pieces, but my love for him, even compared to my love for my nephew, is nothing. I don't anticipate ever WANTING to get out of bed early (like, ever ever) but I'm sure I, and you, will be much more willing to do it for your baby than the pup. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-will-be-selfless-enough-to-be-a-mom#post-301062 Wed, 19 Sep 2012 11:15:27 +0000 daniellemybelle 301062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The hubs &amp; I got a puppy about 3 months ago, and I completely adore him. Just thinking about him during the day makes me smile so big! But DH is definitely more hands on with him. He takes him for a long walk every morning at 6am, he feeds him most of the time, and he plays with him more. I just snuggle with him when I feel like it. :) I do all of the training though, and did a lot of research on how to raise him before we got him. Crate training, housebreaking, good manners, etc. definitely came from me!</p> <p>DH is out of town this week, though, and I have found myself neglecting our puppy. This morning, instead of walking him, I laid in bed an extra 30 minutes while he chewed on random things he found on the floor. When I got up he had such a sad look on his face, like "Mom why don't you play with me?" Even though I love him, sometimes I don't feel like it - especially in the morning!</p> <p>I know the love of a pet doesn't even come close to the love you have for a child. But I can't help but feel like I am too lazy and selfish to be a mom! Will I suddenly want to get up early and go the extra mile when it's my own baby? Or will I be a bad mom and leave all the hard work to my husband!? </p>