https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 22 Aug 2026 17:07:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2204066 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 12:24:33 +0000 Alivoo01 2204066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @MaryM: Agreed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2204042 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 12:04:20 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2204042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do expect them to reciprocate love, and to grow up to be kind, decent human beings that add value to society. I think it's unrealistic to expect nothing because I'm sure we all expect something from the people in our lives, whether it's a friend, our husband, or our parents.</p> <p>When you give your all to someone, it doesn't seem unrealistic to expect some reciprocation. </p> <p>@MaryM: Totally agree.</p> <p>Eta: I answered based on the thread title, but as for your more detailed question... no, I don't expect them to support me financially and we are working hard to not put that burden on them by making sure we are saving enough for retirement... but, if we do fall on hard times I would hope that they wouldn't leave us out to dry... just like we would never leave them out to dry no matter how old they are. Ideally, we would be self-sufficient in our old age, and they would be self-sufficient as they come of age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203983 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 11:14:47 +0000 .twist. 2203983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Yea pretty much. Then, I selfishly hope that the decent person they are wants to hang out with me when I'm an oldie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203892 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 10:21:29 +0000 Greentea 2203892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203832 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:45:39 +0000 MaryM 2203832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think anything is "owed." But I hope to raise children that love and respect us, as we love and respect our parents. </p> <p>And if either the children or us end up in a tough place financially and someone is available to help out, I hope that we/they feel so inclined to do so. </p> <p>And when I'm really old/elderly, I certainly hope a child will be willing to help me out. But if not, one of my nieces has offered :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203824 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:42:36 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2203824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: yep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203815 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:31:18 +0000 Mamasig 2203815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree totally. </p> <p>As my mom gets older, I realize that I have to do more for her - help at doctors appointments, etc. And yes some of this is financial. But times change and I now realize I can't expect her to keep up with all the changes. </p> <p>I hope that I raise good men that will want to spend time with us and help us if the need arises. But I will also try to help myself first! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203814 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:30:02 +0000 namaste 2203814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Same. That's reward enough for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203782 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:16:47 +0000 MrsKoala 2203782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think they owe me nothing later in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203780 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:14:55 +0000 catomd00 2203780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nothing!! I chose to bring my daughter into this world, not her. My mom holds everything she's ever done for her kids financially and otherwise over our heads and despite Us being grateful she expects that we owe it to her to do whatever she wants us to now as adults. It's manipulative and put a huge strain on her relationship with her kids. I didn't ask or demand for most of the things she gave us, so while I am grateful, I don't feel I should have to owe her anything in return other than my gratitude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203778 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:14:10 +0000 Dandelion 2203778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want them to be decent people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203770 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:10:20 +0000 avivoca 2203770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I expect them to be financially independent unless there are extenuating circumstances, but beyond that, all I wish for is to be involved in their lives and for them to manage my affairs when I am no longer able to do so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203752 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:58:57 +0000 looch 2203752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The issue I have is that living in the US, you can plan, plan and plan some more and still have an unexpected event wipe you out financially. It's all well and good that my husband and I have jobs, but I have no illusions that they are lifetime things. We have savings, we have insurance, but I don't trust either one of those things to cover us completely in case of some dire circumstance.</p> <p>I hope my son has sense enough to recognize that if the need arises, you step up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203748 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:55:24 +0000 Smurfette 2203748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nothing!</p> <p>But like @youboots: I hope they/she take care of our health when we can't do it ourselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203743 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:52:30 +0000 Ree723 2203743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I didn't read the other thread but I certainly would never expect my children to 'owe' me financially! Part of being a parent is providing financial support to your child (through food, shelter, clothing, stimulation, etc) but it certainly is not a reciprocal agreement in my opinion.</p> <p>There will come a point where I expect my children to become financially independent, but I will continue to help them out if the need arises, without keeping a tally sheet of what I am contributing so they can owe me later. </p> <p>I hope to always maintain a loving, supportive relationship with my children where the desire to help each other out if and when the need arises, comes from a place of love and desire to help out, rather than an obligation of sorts.</p> <p>That being said, we also have no plans to pay for our children's university education in full. We will of course contribute as much as we reasonably can at the time and will expect they take out loans to cover the rest, the same as we both did with our degrees (we have four degrees between the two of us). And things like a down payment on a house will be on them, although we will make a contribution if we are in a position to do so at the time. But again, I don't plan on doing those things with the thought that they will then owe me later on.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203736 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:49:50 +0000 Anagram 2203736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I expect my kiddos to be financially self sufficient by the time they are 25, unless there are some kind of extenuating circumstances. Right now, we have no plans to help them with things like downpayments on their houses, and hopefully we will raise them to have the values to be able to work hard and save the money themselves.</p> <p>As far as their responsibilities to us--I think that will depends on their and our overall financial picture. We are on track to totally take care of ourselves financially, but hopefully when it is time, our kids will take over managing our health and finances for us when we can't do it ourselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203734 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:47:05 +0000 Mamaof2 2203734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: yes I agree!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203733 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:45:07 +0000 youboots 2203733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My only expectation above and beyond a lifetime relationship is that they will manage our healthcare/finances when we are no longer able. As I will do for my parents. And as my Aunt (Dads sister) I adore does for my 94 year old grandma. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203718 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:32:51 +0000 regberadaisy 2203718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope to have a good relation with them where they actually like us and want to spend time with us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203713 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:31:02 +0000 Mama Bird 2203713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think kids owe their parents this kind of support, but at the same time I think the place we live doesn't have much of a future. If rather my kids grew up knowing they're free to leave for somewhere better, than that they got stuck here because they feel they need to take care of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203705 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:23:54 +0000 mrbee 2203705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want them to work hard, have good values and be self-sufficient!</p> <p>It'd be nice if they also wanted to spend time with me from time to time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203702 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:21:38 +0000 Greentea 2203702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think they "owe" me, but for me it really isn't about that. To be honest, I would love to live together forever through the generations like other cultures. I guess I would like a culture in my family where people are respected and loved and helped out at all ages, so sort of, but I don't mean just financial, or financial at all necessarily.</p> <p>Mainly I want them to be happy, healthy, have values, and I hope we have a healthy relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spin-off-thread-what-do-you-expect-from-your-kids#post-2203698 Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:18:41 +0000 MoonMoon 2203698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been reading the responses in aprild's thread about her father in law with interest. Lots of bees seem to agree with the idea that kids owe the parents financially later in life. </p> <p>So my question is-do you expect your kids to support you, financially or otherwise, in the future?</p> <p>Personally, I don't think my kid owes me anything, since I willingly brought him into the world. I am pouring a lot of energy, money, and time into raising him, but all I wish of the future is to have a relationship with him.</p> <p>I understand this can be cultural, so just to share, I'm the child of Asian immigrants, raised in the US. What do you think? </p>