https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 04:58:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-24413 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:44:49 +0000 plantains 24413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really irritates me when people say that. My friends who actually live in NYC don't say it so much because people seem to take their babies everywhere with them here. There are always tons of babies at dinners and in beer gardens etc. </p> <p>Whenever peopple try to say that to me, I brush it off. I'm 32, I've done all the partying I need to and travelled endlessly. I'm good. I know year 1 will be a hostage situation, but after that I'm pretty sure we'll be okay. I just can't see myself never leaving the baby with someone to go out, it isn't who I am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-24351 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:08:07 +0000 Lozza 24351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe it depends on how you define "having a life."<br /> We used to love checking out new restaurants, went to the movies occasionally, went to concerts occasionally, went to late-night parties occasionally... and we almost never do that kind of stuff now that we have a kid.<br /> But we're lucky enough that tons of our friends also have small kids, or are pregnant, or are super baby-friendly, and though our activities have changed drastically, I think we actually see friends more often now that we have a kid than we ever did before. I definitely miss aspects of our pre-baby life (a large part of that is missing the spontaneity and the freedom from schedules), but in general I'd say that we're actually much happier with our social life post-baby, than pre-baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-24333 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:55:39 +0000 ecogirl 24333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I used to get this with my first baby. I had a whirlwind fairy tale romance with my husband and he even flew me to Paris to prospose in front of the Eiffel Tower! Cliche to some maybe but to me it was amazing! Everyone of my friends would tell me I hope you enjoyed it and Well, you won't be doing that anymore before Liam was born and it was so annoying. Then after he was born I realized how tough it really is and I get what they meant. It was difficult and especially with my husband traveling so often I ended up getting a nanny to help me and that was wonderful.</p> <p>Now I get the opposite which is just as annoying. Some family members act as though I'm not really a mom at all and my nanny is and they will actually say Are you going to just get another nanny when this one is born? and things like that. Very rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-24317 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:40:31 +0000 TheFixIts 24317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oooof. I HATE THIS. I hear this so often from people and it makes me crazy. Really - what a terrible thing to say! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-24315 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:38:00 +0000 Rescuemom10 24315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use to get this a lot and I found it irritating. I think thats a dramatic statement and your averege logical person with a decent amount of common sense knows it is a life changing matter, but not life ending. I think its even MORE rude to say it to someone who is TTC or PG especially if the person who makes the comment knows that they are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-24283 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:04:46 +0000 mrsjyw 24283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're just trying to conceive and DH's best friend has been telling us since this past summer that our lives will be over once the babies come. They're currently pregnant with theird 3rd son and he's the bread winner, I think he's just in desparate need of vacation. </p> <p>He also said that they had kids when they were younger than we were, but to make sure we got all our travel bugs before trying to conceive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-22040 Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:25:10 +0000 Red 22040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We heard it all the time when I was pregnant and I kept thinking "It couldn't be that bad". Well, it wasn't that bad but it was pretty tough the first few months - you go from owning your own schedule to eating, sleeping (or rather not sleeping), and thinking baby 24/7. Shopping trips, dinners out, and simple errands become an exercise in precise timing and planning.</p> <p>However, at about 8/9 months, the time between her nursings became longer, she was well-established on solids, dropped to 2 naps, and was able to entertain herself for short periods of time. It's was only then that her schedule was more manageable to where I felt comfortable leaving her for longer periods of time. Our lives aren't over but it definitely takes a lot more planning to be able to do things we used to spontaneously.</p> <p>BTW, I'm guilty of telling other parents-to-be the same thing now. Not that it's the end of their life but that it's gonna be a tough first few months and that it does gets better. Oh, I also tell them that should watch as many movies in theaters that they want 'cause it's something I definitely miss doing - just doesn't make sense paying more for a babysitter than for the movie itself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-22037 Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:10:03 +0000 littleveesmommy 22037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend who makes it a point every time I see her to say to me "you life is OVER!". That's right - she actually puts emphasis on the word over. It bothers me to no end because I certainly don't feel that's the case and she doesn't have kids (nor do any of our friends) so I have no idea where she gets this from or why she thinks it is an appropriate comment. It makes me so upset cause it's been said multiple times. I understand that things will be tough in the beginning and it will be a new kind of life, but it doesn't mean that it's over! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-22008 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 22:40:25 +0000 lilteacherbee 22008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I get that a lot. We're 22/23 and we've been married since June. We're going to start TTC in the Spring, but only close family knows. We live in a really rural area in the South and we are seriously the only couple 20+ years old that have no kids. It drives me NUTS because everyone tells us to "wait awhile," yet all the other young married people started having kids at 18. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21946 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 18:02:08 +0000 mamabolt 21946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is fond of telling me my house is going to be a giant kid-focused mess. Seriously, yesterday she came over for Thanksgiving and said, well, next year the house won't be so nice, there will be toys everywhere! And when I was changing the sheets on the guest bed she said, oh, won't have time for that with a kid! Um, I know I won't have as much time as I used to, but I'm not going to become a total slob! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21932 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 16:55:33 +0000 mediagirl 21932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find men like to say this a whole lot more than women. I don't understand it. It's like when people say your life ends when you get married. This is all part of life - why would you want to ruin someone's happiness and joy by telling them their life is over when these wonderful things are happening? Jealousy? </p> <p>Yes, parenting CHANGES YOUR LIFE but it doesn't END it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21915 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 16:02:38 +0000 banana 21915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES! I heard it ALL the time when I was pregnant. And honestly at the time it never really sunk in. After baby was born, I "got" what people were saying to me but I never thought it was THAT bad. I guess I was expecting the absolute worse so in reality it wasn't so bad. I thought my life was O-V-E-R (according to others) but in reality, my life just began. I completely identify myself as a mom that I don't know who I would be if I wasn't a mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21885 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:26:08 +0000 BabyBear 21885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Everyone continually tells me that I need to enjoy me and Mr. Bear before I have children. To me, life isn't over. A new chapter in life has just begun. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21879 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:15:06 +0000 Andrea 21879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, for some reason no one said those things to me, which is cool. I try not to say any of these annoying things to my friends who are getting pregnant now. But if they ask me directly, then I will get them my honest opinion about how things will be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21874 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:02:40 +0000 looch 21874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a different view on it I guess, because I did get a lot of the fun stuff out of my system before I finally did get married and pregnant. No one that is close to me would dare to tell me to enjoy my time without kids, honestly because I am an older first time mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21865 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 13:25:39 +0000 MegWag 21865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This kind of talk irritates my husband so much! (Me too, but him even more so). I guess it helps that our idea of fun doesn't involve stuff that we couldn't do with a baby. We like to hang out and be silly and spend time together. He says "Why wouldn't we just keep having fun with the baby? I plan to like our son and have fun with him!"<br /> We realize that things will change, but it's a change we welcome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21864 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 13:25:27 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 21864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't get a lot of "your life is over" but I do get "your life will no longer be about you." I've seen my friends parent and I understand that. I don't think there is anything that anyone can say that will convince me and my husband to not have children. I think they will bring us more joy than struggle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21859 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 13:15:31 +0000 Rubies 21859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The funny thing is that a lot of NON-parents would do the warning and my friends who DO have kids would be more encouraging like, "Yeah, the beginning is really tough but it does get better, little by little."</p> <p>When I was pregnant, I was out with friends and at the table next to ours a baby was shrieking and ear-piercing wail and my friend, who does not have kids, said to me, "Yeah, you better get used to that, that's your future soon." What the heck, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21858 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 13:13:42 +0000 Rosie Girl 21858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People always said how my life would be over with kids, but it isn't! It is just a new life. And one that I enjoy so much more!!!! Maybe our Friday nights aren't about going to the bar and staying out late with friends, but I think having a family movie night and eating popcorn is great! </p> <p>Yes kids can be hard, and being a parent can be stressful, but it is worth it and so much more rewarding. And, we still have our nights out just the two of us, we just have to have a babysitter, which we lucked out with since both sets of parents live close by :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21853 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:55:46 +0000 Miss Adia 21853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I heard it all of the time. My daughter is now five, and I can tell you from the other side your life is not over. Sure, I have friends that lives were over when they had kids, but they made the choice of never leaving their kids with anyone so they could go out and enjoy a night alone. They chose to cancel their yearly anniversary vacation to spend that money on their kid for Christmas.<br /> I'm a mom, but I'm still a woman, sister, daughter, and fiance. I have other roles. Mom only takes over if you let it take over. I really do feel bad for women who can't balance it all out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21850 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:47:31 +0000 sorrycharlie 21850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we hear this often - thus, why we refuse to tell anyone we're TTC until we have a baby on board. as far as we know, we're medically okay, but our reasonings are just plain and simple that we'd like to expand our family sooner rather than later. and though it's taken me a few months to come to terms with it, I've finally realized it's no one's business but our own. </p> <p>just on Thanksgiving we were all talking baby names (generally speaking) and my grandmother goes, "not for 3 years you're not"...oh okay, didn't realize it was YOUR decision for US to have a baby! grr.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21842 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:20:48 +0000 AmeliaBedelia 21842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After my surgery, the topic of babies came up a LOT at Thanksgiving dinner (people asking about it, etc) and everyone kept alluding to the "don't have kids yet, it's too much work." I almost felt as if they were saying "You're too young" and it was rather irritating. FI and I have been together for 4 years, living together for 3, and if we choose to have babies sooner rather than later due to my fertility issues then I would like a bit more respect for that decision. Does that make sense? I was just frustrated that it WAS mostly the negative "realistic" views people were throwing at us. I say "realistic" but reality includes a bit more happiness than I think these people wanted to say! ha. </p> <p>So yeah, we get the "wait, do things, enjoy your sleep, you don't have to have kids until your older" thing. But people don't understand our situation (I have Endo, PCOS, and don't always ovulate) and need to just keep their mouths shut sometimes I think. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21840 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:13:12 +0000 MrsLilybugg 21840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also have been getting alot of parents warn me about having babies, to the point where now that we're ready to have a baby I have kept quiet about it to avoid the "they're cute until they puke" or "they are cute for five minutes then they're work" or, "you'll NEVER sleep again" etc. I know the hard work that raising a child entails. And I'm not going to choose to NOT have a child to avoid that. So i can do without the fear-mongering that I feel I get a lot. On the other hand, lots of friends "vent and complain" about their babies not sleeping through the night, etc. That is completely understandable! i don't mind when people complain/vent, I just mind when they "warn" me of my future doom and gloom when I say I want a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21837 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 11:48:17 +0000 MamaMoose 21837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been getting a LOT of people telling me to really make sure I do all the fun things I want to do in my life now because I won't be able to do them once I have kids. And to be honest it really bothers me. Yes, I know for the first few months it's going to be HARD. With lots of work and stress and very little sleep. But once the baby is 6-9 months I won't have a problem leaving the baby with my mom for the night to enjoy some time with my husband. I think you have to be willing to not allow your baby to take over your entire life. It always shocks me when people have like a 5 year old that they've never spent the night away from. If you can't seperate yourself from your child at all then you will have a hard time having fun. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-do-people-warn-you-that-your-life-will-be-over-once-you-have-kids#post-21832 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 10:55:25 +0000 Mrs. Bee 21832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Spinning off Rubies' thread on moms talking about their perfect babies. Have you experienced the opposite where friends tell you that your life as you know it is over once you have kids? They tell you to travel, go out, sleep now because you'll never be able to once you have kids.</p> <p>While I don't say those specific things, I am definitely not one of those parenting is all sunshine and rainbows people. It is damn hard and I try to be honest about the ups and downs.</p> <p>My friends fell more in the middle. They didn't complain about how hard it was, but they didn't say it was all perfect perfect all the time. I guess I'm more in the complainer camp haha.</p> <p>What has your experience been? Do you friends tell you how awesome being a parent/their baby is? Or do they tell you how sleep deprived/hard it is and to enjoy life before kids? </p>