https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 27 May 2026 21:06:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience/page/2#post-323190 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 18:58:22 +0000 anonysquire 323190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Oh they never were going to be there during the birth or anything. They said they wouldn't visit me cause they know I will be grumpy from all the pain. I was like whatever. If no one visits us at the hospital I really wouldn't care lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience/page/2#post-323180 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 18:47:18 +0000 Kemma 323180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I was (and still am) very much pro-unmedicated and natural birthing, DH didn't really have much of an opinion until we started attending our antenatal classes.</p> <p>After one particular session in which we'd discussed epidurals and the various forms of pain relief, he says to me on the way home "I don't think you should get one of those epidural thingees" to which I said "I'm hoping to avoid one and that's why we went with a midwife who specialises in active and home birth" and then he says (wait for it...)</p> <p>"I don't understand why they don't just give you a local anaesthetic for a c-section". I'm not sure he really understood the logistic or magnitude of a c-section...</p> <p>As it stands I don't think he's thought too much more about the labour / delivery experience but I'm sure he'll be supportive of whatever I / we choose to do.</p> <p>(I should also mention that although I'm definitely aiming for an intervention / medication free birth, if the time comes that I need some pain relief or an epidural then I have no shame in saying bring on the drugs!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience/page/2#post-323100 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 17:36:36 +0000 daniellemybelle 323100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting to see that husbands would rather their wife NOT have an epidural! What is their reasoning?</p> <p>DH wants a hospital delivery for the safety, and probably because it's what familiar, honestly. He's a status quo kind of guy. He also knows I have a low pain tolerance / am whiny so he has said he thinks I should get an epidural, but if I want to try it unmedicated, he'll do whatever he can to support me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience/page/2#post-323092 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 17:32:34 +0000 Shimmer 323092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: DH said this: "As long as all of you make it out alive, I don't care how you do it." It was his fear that I would die during delivery, for some reason. It probably didn't help that I took out a life insurance policy on myself prior to birth!</p> <p>Neither one of us was keen on a home birth, especially since I had twins! But even if it was a single baby, I wasn't comfortable doing that for my first birth experience. Maybe next time!</p> <p>@Oceanis723: I agree, the husbands should have a say in where it happens, but not the epidural! DH wouldn't have survived to see another day if he had told me that I couldn't/shouldn't have an epidural! (But he knows better lol) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-323052 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 16:50:47 +0000 LittleFox 323052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine just wanted me to be in a place where medical care was easily accessible, like the hospital or a birth center (vs. at home). He mainly wanted this because it's our first and we don't know what to expect. He also thinks unmedicated birth is preferable, but is mostly willing to follow my lead (I agree with him, but I'm willing to be flexible if I need to be).</p> <p>I also think he has every right to voice his opinions and discuss options with me. I have ultimate veto power, but we always make sure to listen to one another and try to foster dialogue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-323007 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 16:30:25 +0000 Mrs. Train 323007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine did not have much opinion. Because of my twins sharing a placenta my doctor recommended c section. once the first twin pulls out it could cut all oxygen from the second twin. So he was all for the c section. My daughter was also a c section because I didn't want to try a VBAC. He was supportive in that too. </p> <p>I think husbands definetly have a right to chime in especially with the location of the birth. If they aren't comfortable with home births I think tha is really something for a wife to consider. I think the epidural really is the woman's choice. I don't know how any other person but yourself could tell you how much pain you can or can't not take. In that regard I think they should support whatever choice you make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322974 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 16:15:14 +0000 lovehoneybee 322974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He started out wanting me to deliver in a birth center, but after we had our first ultrasound and learned about the SCH he was a big advocate of being in a hospital setting (plus we loved our midwife and CNP and getting care from them meant we had to deliver at a particular hospital). Past that he was in favor of whatever I was, be it medicated or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322970 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 16:06:18 +0000 edelweiss 322970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>so eye-opening reading about the different opinions!</p> <p>i don't think my husband would feel comfortable if i wanted a non-hospital birth. we are on the same page with that, though, so it wasn't an issue.</p> <p>he did give me a look trying to hide his shock and anxiety when i mentioned wanting to try for an unmedicated birth, but that's because he's seen my low tolerance for pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322923 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 15:35:53 +0000 ladyfingers 322923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. The only thing he's wants to make sure of is that I don't make my mind up too concretely about everything and then feel terrible when things don't go the way I want them to. He would support me if I decided to go all-natural or got the epidural at 2cm, etc. He's pretty awesome like that.</p> <p>ETA if I had said though that I wanted to do a home birth or anything other than a hospital, I think he would have been concerned. So it's good we're on the same page about having a hospital birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322820 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:41:16 +0000 DillonLion 322820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So many DH's that are natural birth advocates! Love that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322817 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:40:07 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 322817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband would prefer for me to have a natural birth. He is even comfortable with a home birth. When the time comes I'd like to deliver in a birth center associated with a hospital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322766 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:20:23 +0000 Arden 322766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@evansjamie: That's awesome! Go for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322759 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:18:50 +0000 Mrsbells 322759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh and I were in agreement, we both wanted the most natural birth possible </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322758 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:18:03 +0000 avivoca 322758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Thanks so much! I feel more confident about a possible home birth since I live five minutes from two major hospitals. My OB-GYN is actually a midwife practice with a high drug-free rate which makes me a lot more comfortable with being able to do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322742 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:14:48 +0000 Arden 322742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@evansjamie: Don't give up! It's your body, your DH and parents will come around, and if they don't... maybe they will after they see your successful birth! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322731 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:12:07 +0000 AprilK 322731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH didn't care, he was just terrified I would die somehow and he'd end up raising a baby alone. I think he preferred a major hospital for that reason but I always saw doctors in that hospital so it was never really up for debate. But I guess he researched all the things that could go wrong and was asking about them - I totally didn't catch onto his weirdness until way later when he was explaining to me why he'd wanted to see the placenta... apparently he was checking to make sure it was all there! Weirdo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322728 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:11:55 +0000 Mrs. Pen 322728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH definitely wanted me to go med-free, but he wouldn't have been abusive about it if I had wanted meds. He just preferred that I go natural and he definitely didn't want a c-section. He wanted DS with us the whole time and was adamant that DS never leave our sight in the hospital. It was so incredible to watch him transform to the "protector" role right when DS was born. He is an amazing father. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322718 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:09:51 +0000 avivoca 322718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're not pregnant yet, but I've definitely gotten an earful from both my DH and my mom when I talk about the type of birth experience I would like to have (non-medicated, midwife/doula, which hospital, possibly a home birth). DH seems to think that my pain tolerance is too low, and my mom thinks that the hospitals know best and to not challenge the norm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322690 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:02:33 +0000 DillonLion 322690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: Ha mine said I should get one because I have low pain tolerance. I was like "WHAT DO YOU KNOW I AM STRONG LIKE BULL" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322688 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 14:01:59 +0000 mrsjyw 322688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: he decided a few weeks ago that i should get an epidural. i asked him why. he said why suffer? i asked, who? me? or you? ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322652 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 13:53:07 +0000 Arden 322652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He didn't have much of an opinion at first - he basically told me I'd have to teach him about the options before he could have an opinion, because all he knew was what he picked up from family members and he knew that might not be correct information.</p> <p>After reading the research, hearing my opinions, watching BofBB, and just being married to a doula and being in that environment with me, he has come to be very pro-natural, anti-intervention.</p> <p>He is completely comfortable with the free-standing birth center we've chosen for this baby, but he would also be fine with a home birth. We may have home births for subsequent babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322641 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 13:49:34 +0000 heffalump 322641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He was open to whatever I wanted. I think he's in the my body, my decision camp, and as long as LO and I are safe and healthy he's fine with whatever my decision is/was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322501 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 13:20:24 +0000 Foodnerd81 322501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: Your parents, really? Yikes! I don't even want my parents there until the baby is out anyway, so I'd tell them I was doing the opposite of what they wanted just so they wouldn't come before I told them too! My parents do think "midwives" are for crunchy hippie people. If I told them I'm considering a doula, that would get a big old eye roll, but they would have no say in the matter whatsoever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322436 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 13:02:43 +0000 Mrs.B 322436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is very vocal about his beliefs on medicated childbirth. He wants me to have a completely unmedicated birth. His Mother had 4 kids naturally and his sister also birthed 2 kids naturally so in his mind there is no need for an epidural or any other pain meds. I do agree with him but ultimatly it is my body and I am the one dealing with the pain not him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322403 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:53:52 +0000 blackbird 322403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH doesn't give a crap, really. He's anti-home birth, which is fine, since I am, too. Really, he just wants me to go with what I want since I'm the one doing it. And he did encourage the medications because he's like, "why suffer, babe?" Honestly, I feel like he really doesn't have much of a say, anyways. And I don't believe in the "birthing experience". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322400 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:52:39 +0000 anonysquire 322400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh doesn't care what I choose for birth, it's more my parents trying to weigh in. I want a unmediated birth and they threaten that I better get an epi or they won't come to the hospital. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322392 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:49:07 +0000 MrsBrewer 322392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH just insists that I give birth in a hospital. He would really like me to get an epi (I have a very low pain tolerance, and quite frankly I'm a wimp) but I would prefer not to </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322379 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:43:07 +0000 stargal 322379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>dh was just against home birth, which i would never do anyways due to if an emergency arised we both wanted the safety of a hospital, which in our case we needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322356 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:30:52 +0000 loveisstrange 322356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DHs only thing was he was strongly against homebirth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-does-your-so-have-a-preference-for-your-birth-experience#post-322353 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:29:06 +0000 JoJoGirl 322353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: It's mostly from seeing the Business of Being Born, I think. Also he's Canadian so is a little suspect of the for-profit nature of the US healthcare system and is worried we'll be rushed into a c-section because they are trying to turn over the bed. </p>