Hellobee Boards Topic: Is your SO a feminist? Are you?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Is your SO a feminist? Are you? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 23:04:03 +0000 ecogirl on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-34316 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:36:35 +0000 ecogirl 34316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We both are feminists. Being a feminist simply means that you believe that both sexes should be treated equally. That is all. There is no definition of what an equal women should do with her free time or her career nor is their a definition of what an equal man should do with his free time or his career. I'm not certain what people are learning about feminism in this day and age. It certainly isn't the actual definition of the word. If you believe that you don't deserve to own land or have sex only when you consent then you are not a feminist. If you believe that you should have access to all of the same things that a male does such as voting or getting an education than you are a feminist. End of story. DillonLion on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-34203 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 17:18:02 +0000 DillonLion 34203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I agree with the definition of feminism, but I feel like the feminist movement in this country was damaging to women. In my opinion, while women used to have less opportunities for jobs and it was frowned upon if you would go to work, now the opposite is the case. Companies no longer pay men salaries with the idea that they have to support a whole family and woman have to work so the household has enough money (often times). Plus, there is all of the added negative stigma and judgement about staying home to care for your children and not having a job outside of the home these days. Women have to "do it all" or some view them as lazy. Rubies on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-34159 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 16:48:07 +0000 Rubies 34159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ People say that I'm the "worst feminist" because I'm very old-fashioned and traditional. The hubs is probably more of a feminist than I am! mrbee on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-34138 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 16:26:15 +0000 mrbee 34138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Maysprout: I am no longer able to follow what we're talking about! In any case, I don't know enough about what was said or not to really weigh in. Maysprout on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-34125 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 16:20:51 +0000 Maysprout 34125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: I wish people would discuss sex and gender differences more. I think it would be helpful to women in the workforce. But it should be done fairly. I'm not sure what sex or gender differences can't be discussed, it's just that women aren't a homogeneous group so sweeping statements generally get frowned upon because they're untrue. As for the article, I know it wasn't yours I was just saying that article doesn't support Larry's comments either even if they had a different source on what his actual comment was. daniellemybelle on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33952 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 13:33:42 +0000 daniellemybelle 33952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm definitely a feminist! I second pretty much everything @beka said. mediagirl on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33939 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 13:24:07 +0000 mediagirl 33939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We aren't activists in any way but we both believe in women's rights. If that's what all this means, then yes, we're both feminists. I would never label myself as one in general conversation, though because of the negative connotation that comes along with the term feminist. Adira on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33933 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 13:22:32 +0000 Adira 33933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @yoursilverlining: You stated it exactly! Ditto everything you said! yoursilverlining on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33925 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 13:20:27 +0000 yoursilverlining 33925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Adira: Love those quotes! Its too bad that the word “feminism” seems to have become a negatively branded word by both some media outlets and some political movements – being a feminist doesn’t mean you have to be a bra-burning, angry man-hater who wants to work 100 hours a week at a demanding job. You can be a SAHM/SAHW and cook and clean to your heart’s desire and be a feminist. Being a feminist has nothing to do with whether you want to play what you believe is a “traditional” role in your own life – it’s about women having access to the choices to do that, or not to do that as works for them – and to receive equal treatment, compensation and rights in society for those choices. The crux of feminism isn’t whether you work or not, or who cleans the house more – its whether regardless of the personal choices *you* make for yourself, you believe other women are equally entitled to men to make different choices – or the same choices - and to receive equal respect and reward. mrbee on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33894 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 13:09:41 +0000 mrbee 33894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Maysprout: Just to clarify, I am not standing up for Larry who I disagree with in many ways. That is not my article... it's just a random article I found on Google. In any case, my initial point was just that I feel like people aren't allowed to discuss gender differences. I stand by that point. :-) Maysprout on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33873 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:58:11 +0000 Maysprout 33873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: The statement wasn't recorded so who knows what he actually said but I did get the opportunity to speak with one of the women who walked out of his talk and her recollection of the event was innate differences. Even if variability of intelligence was the issue he was speaking of (which by accounts it was not) there's very little you can conclude from that as your article goes on to explain. Slight variability on a standardized test really says very little for the vast differences in current employment. mrbee on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33855 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:47:13 +0000 mrbee 33855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Maysprout: My understanding is that Larry actually made a point about variability of intelligence by gender, not the average: <a href="http://media.swarthmore.edu/bulletin/?p=145" rel="nofollow">http://media.swarthmore.edu/bulletin/?p=145</a> His comments were pretty thoroughly misrepresented by the media. That said, a university President should be much more careful when discussing gender. He never really understand the power of his pulpit. shinystraps on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33836 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:37:17 +0000 shinystraps 33836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yep. We both are. Plan to raise our kids to be. Being feminist doesn't mean that there are specific cultural, philosophical or political stances that I MUST subscribe to - rather, it means that I support women and men achieving the best in their lives and for their families. What's not to like about that! :) Adira on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33827 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:27:57 +0000 Adira 33827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsBrewer: Feminism doesn't mean that you are against the traditional roles or that you have to do anything different! The basic idea of feminism is whether or not you believe that woman are human beings. The idea is the choice - women should get to choose whether they follow the traditional roles for women or not. It sounds to me like you are a feminist! Maysprout on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33823 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:25:01 +0000 Maysprout 33823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: It's hard though because maybe maybe in general boys have a bit more aptitude in math but that's just averages. I was always far and away better at math than most of the kids. In high school the math award went to me and another girl, so there's not a whole lot to be interpreted about averages. It then starts to become a slippery slope to Larry Summers statements of innate differences in aptitude cause more men than women to succeed in the sciences. So I really dislike discussions on how one sex is on average better in certain areas since it's based on slim differences which then are blown out of proportion. MrsBrewer on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33818 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:21:29 +0000 MrsBrewer 33818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope, I wouldn't call either of us feminists. I think that our marriage is very traditional. Now don't get me wrong as of right now, I make a little more than he does, and we both work full time. But we don't have children yet. I do most of the house work and cooking, and I feel that we have traditional roles. Do I think women should have equal rights? Of course I do! But I guess I don't follow them, I want to be a stay at home mom one day, I want to live a traditional life with my husband mrbee on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33803 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:14:27 +0000 mrbee 33803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrsbells: I agree completely, philosophically! However, I do think that members of one gender will sometimes tend to excel in certain areas, whereas members of the other gender will struggle. Sometimes I feel like people aren't allowed to talk about these sorts of differences... which can be a shame, I think! mrsjyw on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33795 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:10:28 +0000 mrsjyw 33795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We definitely both believe in feminism. While there are some traditional roles that we both like to hold in our home, we both believe in equal education, equal pay, etc. DH encourages me to achieve everything I want to do in life and supports all that I do (even the things that may surpass his own achievements). Mrsbells on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33792 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:10:00 +0000 Mrsbells 33792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: thats true but I guess I mean in general one gender isnt better than the other. Adira on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33782 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:07:16 +0000 Adira 33782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrsjazz: Me too! :) mrsjazz on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33752 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:59:31 +0000 mrsjazz 33752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Adira: I love the Gloria Steinem quote. mrsjazz on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33749 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:58:40 +0000 mrsjazz 33749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My husband is most definitely a feminist. He's probably more of a feminist than I am. I believe in equal rights for women across the board, equal pay, reproductive rights, the same opportunities as men in the work force and politics--but there are some traditional gender roles that I enjoy, such as my husband walking on next to me on the side of the street closest to the curb and him taking out the trash. I may even work part-time and take care of our child after maternity leave. I think the beauty of the modern day feminist is that there is choice. I can work or stay at home if I want to, not because it's what I'm supposed to do as a woman. Maysprout on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33745 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:55:50 +0000 Maysprout 33745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We both are and think differences should be respected instead of trying to pretend childbirth doesn't exist. Having kids does throw a big wrench into a lot of womens careers, for women moreso than men. Right now more women graduate with bio PhDs but a minority go onto become professors with their labs because of child rearing. The dept I did a post-doc in had a few women professors but zero were married or had children whereas all the men professors were both married with children. I don't think our current system of pretending that women and men are the same as far as babies are concerned is fair to women or their careers. Adira on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33729 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:44:28 +0000 Adira 33729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I follow the following definitions of feminism, and both my SO and I are feminist (although I'm not sure my SO know the definition or would call himself a feminist, but he is). The following is from <a href="http://thefeministbreeder.com/about/" rel="nofollow">http://thefeministbreeder.com/about/</a> Q: Okay, so then what IS a feminist? “Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings” ~ Cheris Kramerae, author of A Feminist Dictionary, 1996. “Feminism is the advocacy of political, economic and social equality between women and men.” ~ Feminist Majority Foundation “A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.” ~ Gloria Steinem, founder of Ms. Magazine, leader of the Women’s Movement. Does any of that sound like you? Then I hate to break it to ya – but you’re a feminist too! mrbee on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33728 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:42:50 +0000 mrbee 33728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrsbells: These days, many women are actually doing better than men, across a wide range of metrics! Mrsbells on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33725 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:40:44 +0000 Mrsbells 33725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Usually people that describe themselves as feminists go overboard in their attempts to prove or establish that women are equal to men and can do everything that men can do. I of course want equal RIGHTS for women, but the fact is Women are not the same as men. We are different. not better or worse but different. There is no shame in that. heffalump on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33713 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:32:29 +0000 heffalump 33713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Well of course we want equality for women. But I'm pretty old fashioned myself. I'm happy being a SAHM and letting my hubby bring home the bacon. For women who want to be president or be the boss of a company, I think that they should have their fair shot. But that's just not what I want for my life. yoursilverlining on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33708 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:29:03 +0000 yoursilverlining 33708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, we both are. We both believe in and work towards promoting equality for women in all facets of life. mrbee on "Is your SO a feminist? Are you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-is-your-so-a-feminist-are-you#post-33700 Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:24:49 +0000 mrbee 33700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Here's how Wikipedia defines feminism: "Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women" Does your SO believe in feminism? Do you?