https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 16:55:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2115312 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 21:41:43 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2115312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started the process to adopt from Colombia and had to put it on hold, but the cost would have been $12-$15K. This is lower than most people would have to pay because DH is a Colombian citizen, but cost for non-citizens was approx $25K. </p> <p>My sister and her husband adopted twin infants domestically. The only costs were lawyer fees and the home study because they found a birth mom through an acquaintance and did not use an agency. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2115056 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 19:17:17 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2115056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I looked into international adoption through a Christian agency and the costs for all the different countries listed were between $30-45,000. It was seriously crazy to me that IVF is cheaper than adopting. We did IVF but I still have such a heart for adoptions (we wanted to adopt even before we knew we would have fertility problems) but the costs are so discouraging. From looking into local adoption it seemed like domestic was started 20,000-30,000 and if your didn't go with an agency and just tried to find a match by yourself and used a lawyer for the paperwork it was around 10,000 plus out of pocket for whatever you agreed to pay for mothers healthcare/living expenses. Foster to adopt is of coarse the cheapest but certainly not easy in other aspects. Not sure if things will align for us to adopt some day but do hope it does. </p> <p>btw.. I love following your adoption stories. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114749 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 14:48:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2114749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a blog post on keeping adoption expenses low. I think you can have more flexibility with domestic infant adoption than with international. Going through an attorney instead of an agency is much cheaper and the foster to adopt route is virtually free. Plus you sometimes get a stipend until the child is 18 depending on the situation. </p> <p>Adoption comes in many flavors and can be very affordable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114318 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:22:19 +0000 BSB 2114318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think when I considered adoption (pre-IVF), I wanted to adopt from Vietnam but there is no longer an open adoption agreement between us and VN. Then I started looking at other Asian countries and saw that they would cost approx $30k plus the cost of travel. </p> <p>At that time we didn't have the money for anything like that.</p> <p>Looking back, I think IVF was slightly cheaper than adopting from an Asian country. Granted, IVF worked for me on the first try... So far... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114261 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:49:34 +0000 ValentineMommy 2114261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wrote a big long thing and the internet ate it. So, here's a summary. </p> <p>DH and I would love to adopt (as I was adopted and always planned to), but the cost is insane, and frankly, not really feasible for us without great hardship.</p> <p>When I was adopted (domestically, from a catholic organization in the same state as my parents), the cost was a sliding scale based on income. Something like 10% of your yearly salary. That, to me, makes more sense than an astronomical fee that only some fortunate people can obtain. My parents would have in no way been able to pay that kind of fee...so I'm pretty damn glad that wasn't the case in 1981 :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114224 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:31:05 +0000 lamariniere 2114224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: agree with every word.</p> <p>I've always found adoption fascinating, so I was aware of the staggering costs, but I think most people have it in their mind that adoption is easy, fast and cheap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114196 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:15:30 +0000 Greentea 2114196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A member of my family managed an adoption agency in another state. I learned that I would adopt through foster care, because it would be at no cost. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114189 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:08:06 +0000 yoursilverlining 2114189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: Yeah, it’s really sad – adoption shouldn’t be the place to extort money! My relatives traveled to Korea at least twice for their scheduled court appearances, only to get there and be told it had been “rescheduled” without any notice to them. So, back to the US they go, and then back to Korea. Then, of course, new “fees” for this and that. Few thousand here, few thousand there. Sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114173 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:00:59 +0000 brownie 2114173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sisters first baby was 30k because they paid to get a placement quickly. What floored me is that they actually ranked the cost of kids. A child of Caucasian descent with no drug history was upwards of 40k. But as others said they were ready to start their family and couldn't wait any longer. Her second was 20k I think. Much cheaper. But they didn't mind a wait that time around.</p> <p>My friend did foster adopt and it was significantly cheaper but for them was much more up and down. That would get asked if they could take x characteristics (3 kids, 2 kids etc) and then not get the placement. It took a lot longer but they did get a baby girl who was a safe surrender (parental rights were terminated). Great situation but a wait. Another friend did an open adoption in which they found the birth mother (random turn of events). They still had significant costs.</p> <p>So money often pays for convenience. For us, we did ivf fresh for 20k which got us our boy. Two rounds of fets for 5k each which netted negatives. And this new situation for less than 5k and we have a baby. But I couldn't wait I didn't want a 5 year age gap and starting over my career again. </p> <p>I hate that money has to factor into it all and that makes more decisions than anything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114170 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:57:41 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2114170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Korea is CONSTANTLY changing their requirements and demanding more. We had to deal with the additional trip, $1k in psychological testing and double the post placement follow ups at $450/each. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114146 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:40:58 +0000 yoursilverlining 2114146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The 40K for adoption doesn’t surprise me, only because we’ve had family who recently adopted from Korea and it was at least 40k all said and done (and more than 18 months back and forth) because Korean officials kept dicking them around for additional money. </p> <p>We also have friends who adopted through foster care, which took several years to finalize even though there was no father in the picture and even though the bio mother made ZERO effort to comply with the court’s orders in order to get her children back. Even though their legal costs (or the vast majority of them) were covered by the state, the emotional cost was so, so, so high. They had their boys with them for years before their adoptions were finalized, bonding with them while knowing all that time that the bio mom could regain custody. I can’t say that’s worth the on-paper cost savings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114128 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:30:25 +0000 jetsa 2114128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: In my family's case the children were taken from the parents and their rights were terminated because there had been multiple cases of abuse and the parents caused the medical needs the children still live with. In our friends case the mothers right had not been terminated, the children had been taken by the state due to extremely unsanitary living conditions and were placed in foster care, several years later the mother decided she wanted her boys back and it led to the court battle.<br /> I can't imagine an open adoption in most senses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114126 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:28:18 +0000 loki 2114126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: my sister had a baby and she gave her up for open adoption (sorry to threadjack). i am adopted and had a closed adoption and although i'm sure open might work in some situations... it is not for me. and if i ever adopted, i would not want an open adoption... and i see the dynamics of their situation and i think it's awful for everyone involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114122 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:26:18 +0000 Anagram 2114122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jetsa: that's really sad and crazy! In my friend and cousin's case, the parents had already terminated their parental rights and the kids were already in foster care. Was it the same situation with your family?</p> <p>My biggest "worry" I guess is that the new trend in domestic adoptions are open adoptions and I don't entirely know how I feel about that--but I don't know if those are more common with private adoptions or if they are also common with foster care adoptions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114120 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:23:30 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2114120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: FETs are so much cheaper than a fresh IVF cycle because there are way less monitoring appointments and medications. FETs are usually around $3500. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114101 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:09:53 +0000 jetsa 2114101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've also had family adopt through the domestic system and it was fairly low cost, less than 5k and then a monthly stipend because the children had medical needs. We did have friends who ended up in a court battle because mom changed her mind and it ended up being 20k after all was said and done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114097 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:05:21 +0000 regberadaisy 2114097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's basically what I thought it was. I know only because I've heard stories of people who try to adopt domestically but it's so difficult and takes forever. The ones who can afford it end up going international and the numbers are just ridiculously shocking.</p> <p>I wished domestic adoption were easier. It's a shame that so many children right here in our own backyards need homes. but so many go overseas for adoption because the system makes it so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114095 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:04:40 +0000 travellingbee 2114095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Leialou: wow, that's great! I would've thought it would have been more expensive than a regular IVF cycle! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114082 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:00:57 +0000 blackbird 2114082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always figured it was about 20-30K but 40K, whoa :O It's really frustrating that it isn't a more affordable process because it's so win-win for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114050 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:44:31 +0000 Anagram 2114050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: I pump them for information because I've always, always wanted to be either a foster parent for babies or adopt a child through the foster system. DH has always been against it (It's just not done in his culture), but having his cousin do it has totally changed his opinions. SO now I'm trying to prep Dh for a future potential adoption through the foster care system. We'll see... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114047 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:42:33 +0000 Anagram 2114047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: I have another coworker who adopted a brother-sister set two years ago through the foster care system here. The little girl was only 15 months, but the brother was 3 or 4, can't remember now. I know he's already in school now.</p> <p>DH's cousin moved through the whole process really quickly--I was surprised! They just got married 1 year ago and started the process then, thinking it would be a while. But within a month of totally finishing all the home visits and classes, they were placed with an 8 month old girl who has no "issues". This was a teen mom situation, who had already given the baby up for adoption and the baby was in foster care since birth--but the birth mom still had a choice of birth parents and chose DH's cousin and her husband because they are south asian (two different types of south asian), and her daughter is mixed race, and the birth mom fully disclosed she chose them because they looked similar to her daughter.</p> <p>And the little girl does totally have the same coloring--so that might have been a once-in-a-lifetime fluke, who knows? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114032 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:35:43 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2114032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I've heard that adoption through foster care is very low cost and it's actually what we're considering for our next child. In terms of the children listed online, I've mostly seen them be older, or have extremely significant medical needs. We would hope to adopt a child around age 2 or 3 like we did this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114028 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:33:37 +0000 Anagram 2114028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only two adoptions in my close circle are one of best work friends and DH's cousin. Both just adopted this past year through the foster care system and their fees were fairly minimal for adoption--I think they paid for their home study and had to take a few classes (actually, I believe the classes were offered through the county and free). </p> <p>They both adopted children under the age of 2, but there are financial subsidies available for adopting children over 10 in a lot of area.</p> <p>I didn't know that adoption through the foster care system is very low cost until they adopted. My work friend was adopting because of male factor infertility--her husband produced no sperm at all and they decided they didn't want to try a sperm donor or anything. DH's cousin never attempted to have children biologically--she's a bit of a social activist and has always said she will adopt through the foster care system and her husband agreed.</p> <p>eta: I just asked my work friends (because I'm at work) and she said they were responsible for paying for the home study visits, the criminal background checks and fingerprinting, TB tests, and the required CPR class. That's all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114027 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:33:13 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2114027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: you pay about $25k directly to the country of Korea. Then agency fees here, including homestudies and post placement, which has doubled recently as well. And then of course airfare and hotel for two trips of about a week long each. And then you're really supposed to hire a lawyer to help you with the name change and re-adoption, but we're winging it and trying to do it ourselves.</p> <p>No, I didn't count in any costs of care for J after we got home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114025 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:32:17 +0000 mediagirl 2114025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had the same thought you did. I had no idea it was that much.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114024 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:31:37 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2114024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I looked into adoption, and ultimately the cost is what made us decide against it. It was going to be between $20k-$30k for domestic infant adoption. I know there are ways to make it more affordable, but it all seemed very overwhelming. We would have had to save up for about a year, and after IF we just wanted a to start our family now.</p> <p>Our embryo adoption wound up costing around $7k. It was so much more affordable. That included the matching and legal fees, program fee, and embryo transfer fee. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114021 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:30:02 +0000 Tanjowen 2114021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>$40k!! Wow. I had in my mind that overseas adoptions cost around $25k total, so that number blew my mind. Is that taking into account healthcare costs for your LO - immunizations, checkups, etc?</p> <p>I had a friend adopt here in the States. I know the base cost was $15k ($10k to the mother and $5k in court costs), but I remember her saying it wound up being close to $20k in the end with home studies and other expenses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114018 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:29:31 +0000 loki 2114018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it also breaks my heart that adoption is so expensive and i think most people are generally clueless about it. i hear so many people say "if we can't have kids we'll just adopt!" like it's just so easy. i haven't been through it myself but i am adopted (private, domestic)... even 30 years ago my parents went through a lot. i can't imagine how much tougher it is nowadays, especially internationally! if we needed to adopt, i don't think we would ever have the funds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spinoff-the-cost-of-adoption#post-2114014 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:26:44 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2114014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The post about crowd funding adoption made me remember how totally clueless i was about the cost of adoption before we went through the process. I thought it would cost about $10-$15k, but we clocked in around $40k when all was said and done. Korea is the most expensive country to adopt from, and they are currently requiring two trips, for court and custody. So we paid double the airfare and lodging that we originally estimated.</p> <p>I truly wish international adoption could be more affordable. I see posts all the time from my agency, advocating for homes for children at risk for instituionalized childhoods. I know that all that's keeping some people, our family included, from doing it is the cost. </p> <p>Interested to see what others know or think about the cost of adoption, both international and domestic. </p>