https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 22:53:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259964 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 13:08:11 +0000 LilSprinkles 2259964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would nurse, and then DH would change LO's diaper. LO only woke up once a night at the beginning, so I didn't feel too bad (and it was my DH's choice). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259787 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 11:02:20 +0000 Alivoo01 2259787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DS was born, DH had to wake up at 2am to drive an hour to work, work until noon then pick up supplies and wouldn't get home till 2-3pm. Therefore, I did all MOTN feedings.</p> <p>However, when he was home, he would take over for a few hours so I could nap. And he always cleans/sanitizes my pumping parts and bottles, which was really helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259769 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 10:49:09 +0000 snowjewelz 2259769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>During the first month, DH still got up with me every time to make sure I was okay/had everything I needed. Eventually when I started nursing laying down, it was just so easy since we also co-sleep that I didn't need DH to get up too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259765 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 10:46:30 +0000 alphagam84 2259765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We' re planning to split up the wake ups while I'm on maternity leave. We were thinking of having DH take all wake ups 'til midnight or 1 while I would go to bed early around 10. That would guarantee I'd get a 3-4 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep. Then I would take all wake ups after that so DH could get a solid stretch of sleep 'til 7 or so. We are planning to formula feed so it will be easier in that sense for us vs. worrying about the baby not taking a bottle at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259709 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 10:15:48 +0000 Reese 2259709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH does all the diaper changes and I nurse. I am not pumping (only a bit to build a stash). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259671 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 09:50:08 +0000 Adira 2259671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While Hubs was also on leave, he would get up and change the baby's diaper and bring him to me and then I would nurse and put him back to bed. Once Hubs returned to work, I would do nighttime duties by myself. Once I returned to work, we went back to him doing diaper changes and me doing feedings, though if we felt sure the baby wasn't hungry, we'd split nighttime duties (like soothing back to sleep) completely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259659 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 09:41:23 +0000 californiadreams 2259659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i did the feedings because i was nursing and it made sense, rather than prepping a bottle and me having to pump - that would be annoying and take more time for both us. DH would get up to do diapers in the early newborn days because even then having that extra bit of sleep helped me. As LO got older, DH would get up to help with soothing but if a feed was required, i would still do it. I nursed for my whole mat leave of a year though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259615 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 09:09:22 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2259615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I exclusively pumped, so DH would help out a lot in the beginning. Especially when I made the decision to EP at 3 weeks when it was taking an hour and a half start to finish feeding him, getting him down and pumping afterwards b/c I was still full. I'd have to be back up in a half hour to feed him again. DH and I would take turns with each feeding, and it was immensely helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259606 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 09:00:31 +0000 Finfan 2259606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH has been a SAHD for 3 years. We are expecting DD2 in November. We plan to do the same thing with MOTN feedings as we did with the first. He is a night owl and will stay up for the first feeding. I will do the second and we will probably split any subsequent wake-ups. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259542 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 07:53:42 +0000 ineebee 2259542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do all MOTN duties. It's hard, but DH has a 1.5-hour commute and a 10-hour work day, so I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he fell asleep on the road because he was up with me. I admit, I was bitter at first, even though it was my idea, but after a few hard discussions, DH now shows a lot of appreciation, so that makes it much easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259541 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 07:53:32 +0000 ElbieKay 2259541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Weeks 1-3: My husband was home and it was all hands on deck.</p> <p>Weeks 4-8: I continued to have nursing pain and could not nurse round the clock, and I found it overwhelming to pump while I was home alone with the baby. (I also really really really hated pumping and was resentful that I had to pump for reasons other than going to work.) So I nursed during the day and pumped at night, and my husband got up with the baby and bottle fed him while going to his full time job.</p> <p>After that, I was able to nurse round the clock, so I did. I was home for another four weeks on leave, and then I went back to work (and continued to deal with the night feedings since I could nurse). Once the baby started to sleep through the night consistently, then I would send my husband in sometimes to rock him to sleep in the MOTN so I wouldn't distract him with milk.</p> <p>Basically, my attitude is that if I need to get up anyway to manage my milk supply, then there is no reason to disrupt my husband's sleep too. But there was no way I could handle pumping and bottle feeding. I would be up all night. I have no idea how anyone EPs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259519 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 07:17:23 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2259519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always just did night feedings. It didn't make sense for him to feed a bottle if I had to get up to pump anyway to replace that feed. There were never that many wakings that I felt it worth it for us to both have interrupted sleep.<br /> If there was a bad night and the baby wouldn't sleep we might take turns soothing, but overall it's easier and faster if I do it all. I'm also on leave for a year and get to nap during the day if needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259514 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 07:13:19 +0000 looch 2259514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did all the middle of the night activities. I was able to sleep during the day when my son was napping, so it didn't make sense for me to wake my husband up. My husband tried to step in on the weekends, but it kind of messed things up, so I just took it on too. </p> <p>My husband helped in other ways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259498 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 06:34:42 +0000 autumnleaves 2259498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't ask my DH to help with the night feedings but he decided to even when I was on maternity leave. I think it was after the first month or 6 weeeks (after we introduced the bottle). The classes that we attended before having LO encouraged this as an opportunity for DH to help out mom and connect with LO and there was no way I was going to turn him down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259460 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 01:46:49 +0000 gingerbebe 2259460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did all the MOTN wake-ups and feedings unless DS was having a marathon several-hours-long meltdown (which he did frequently with colic and reflux). My husband was always willing to help as much as I needed him to, but I wanted him to get his rest. </p> <p>After the first month, we agreed on some set duties. DH would give a bottle before bedtime (around 10 or 11pm) while I pumped and got ready for bed (long hot shower, zone out, etc). I would be up at night with the baby and then DH get the baby up in the morning and give the first feeding. I would try to get up at the same time and pump but a lot of times I just slept! DS' last MOTN feed would be like 430am and he took FOREVER to eat so that 730am waketime was brutal on me. DH would put the baby down after the first feeding and then hopefully baby and I both slept at the same time. DH was also in charge of emptying the diaper genie, giving DS his bath, and doing all of the bottle/pump parts washing. He also did the dishes, laundry, garbage, vacuuming, and bills. I made sure there was food to eat and the baby stayed alive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259459 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 01:39:39 +0000 birdofafeather 2259459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH got up and changed DD for every feeding for probably a couple months, unless it was when he was working overnight. She hated being wet so we changed her every wakeup for 6 months! That way, I could get situated and he was usually fast asleep before we got halfway through the feeding. I would have woken up no matter what because I'm a light sleeper and having him take a shift or something wouldn't have given me more sleep. The arrangement worked well for us and when we didn't have to change her anymore, he got up less frequently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259458 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 01:19:11 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2259458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will be asking for dh's help as needed. I feel like staying home with a newborn, depending how fussy baby is, can be more stressful and tiring than work, depending on the job, so I don't see why dads shouldn't help too. That said its do who will be on leave and I'll be starting to work again after staying at home for a few years so we will both have awhile off but he will be doing a lot of the dd care and she will be newly three so that's exhausting. (I was supposed to start several months ago but long story short life got in the way.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259361 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 21:02:12 +0000 TiredmommaMD 2259361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are staggered sleepers anyway. He has always been a night owl and I am a morning person. I went to bed at 9pm before I had kids. (Lame, I know) So he gives LO a bottle of pumped milk around 11:00pm or 12:00am since he is up anyway and then I can get 5 or 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Also, if I am really tired I'll ask him to change diaper in the MOTN and bring baby to me to nurse in bed. (I usually only ask him to do this on weekends or days he doesn't have to work the next day) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259346 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:43:18 +0000 sapphire 2259346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>During the early days after DO returned to work, He would take care of LO from when he got home til about midnight and then it was back to me after that. It helped make sure I got some hours of uninterrupted sleep and he would get at least 6 but usually more like 7 hours of sleep. He also helped overnights on weekends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259337 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:39:13 +0000 Little Misters Mom 2259337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first two months I did all the MOTN feedings. I was worried about supply and bottle preference stuff (in retrospect this was unnecessary concern). Once DS was sleeping in 3 hour chunks, my husband would take one. So if DS ate at midnight, my husband would take 3 am with a pumped bottle and I would get to sleep from 12-6. Those 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep were so critical to my sanity! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave/page/2#post-2259325 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:27:30 +0000 ShootingStar 2259325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our arrangement kind of evolved throughout the ~8 months it took for DS to sleep all the way through the night. In the beginning DH was on a 6 week leave and would get up with me. He was in charge of diaper changes and then I'd nurse. After he went back to work there was about two weeks where DS was still pooping in the MOTN, so I think I started taking over some of them. At 8 weeks old he stopped needing to be changed. </p> <p>I was still on mat leave until 10w so I tried to handle most of it myself. After I went back to work MOTN feeding had gotten easier - grab DS out of the PnP, nurse lying down, and then we'd go right back to sleep. Sometimes when they were a lot of wake ups I'd make DH bring him to me or put him back in the PnP because I was too tired to get up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259322 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:23:34 +0000 Mae 2259322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a SAHM and I've always done almost all night wake ups. The exception was the first week or so that we were home (DH was off work too) he would get up with me to help keep baby awake while I nursed (he had to tickle her feet and rub a wash cloth on her back to keep her awake). Once I didn't need help he got to sleep while I did MOTN wake ups. </p> <p>But, my DH is lucky that he doesn't have to leave work work until 8:30 or 9, and our LO has woken around 6-6:30 for most of her life. So he has always woken up with her when she gets up for the day and I get to sleep in until he has to hop in the shower at 8. Having that last good chunk of sleep has always helped me a LOT (especially because I'm a late riser). </p> <p>And agree with others that with breastfeeding it just didn't make sense to have him get up. If I didn't feed I'd have to pump so why not get up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259306 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:05:10 +0000 babynumber1 2259306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I did them all on maternity leave. After I went back to work we alternated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259301 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:00:53 +0000 getjazzy 2259301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never did with my DH. My rationale was similar to what you mentioned, I was the one home from work for maternity leave so I just did it. Plus, my LO wouldn't take a bottle AND my DH never heard the baby so it would take me forever to wake him up and ask him to tend to him, by then I was wide awake myself and it defeated the purpose. Once he was waking up for more than just eating, like teething pain or illness then I would tap hubby in to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259290 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:48:55 +0000 MrsF 2259290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never did a bottle overnight (I preferred to BF rather than get up and pump to keep up supply) but with both of my LOs DH would get up, change the diaper and bring the baby to me to nurse. It sounds like a silly little thing, but it made me feel like we were in it together. Eventually I told him to forget it, but those early nights are so isolating and it was so much easier as a team. </p> <p> I also absolutely agree with @mrbee: that the early days set a precedent for division of labor in parenting. My DH was a huge help with my daughter - and 3 years and 2 kids later the same patterns persist. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259285 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:45:58 +0000 MamaB 2259285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feed LO in the middle of the night because I'd rather do that than pump. But, DH wakes up when she cries, changes her diaper, hands her to me, and then refills my water glass and grabs a snack for me. He can do all that and then fall back asleep in 30 seconds, so it's no big deal to him and he huge help to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259284 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:45:15 +0000 BSB 2259284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: I'm a light sleeper so I'll probably be up as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259283 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:44:29 +0000 Beehive 2259283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Completely agree, it was really important to both of us that we split up nighttime duties equally even while I was on maternity leave for that reason. We wanted to be very equal about everything, and it's a difficult thing to start doing once there's an expectation that one person does all the nighttime wakeups (plus that person becomes more of an "expert" than the other).</p> <p>And don't feel too bad about it either - it's not like you'll be relaxing at home with your feet up, your days are just as difficult/tiring as your DH's work days, if not more so!</p> <p>For us, I never got into pumping while on maternity leave, but it would have been nice to have DH take a full feed. Instead, he would get DS from the bassinet, unswaddle him, change his diaper, and I'd feed/burp him and put him back in the bassinet. Nights felt a lot less lonely since DH was up too (though of course he'd go back to sleep while I fed the baby). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259280 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:43:24 +0000 BSB 2259280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: Oh, didn't think about that.... That I'll be pumping or feeding every 3 hours to keep up with my supply. If DH is up, he'll probably help me bottle feed one of the babies or help change or burp them.<br /> ETA: I think in my situation with having twins, we both will be getting up. Since its either I stay up for two baby feedings or we both get up to feed both at the same time. I have heard that many twin moms alternate between breast feeding and bottle feeding. So both babies get used to both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouse-doing-a-nighttime-feed-even-during-maternity-leave#post-2259279 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:43:17 +0000 catomd00 2259279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did all motn feeds but my husband is always up with me (even know at 17 months.) We are a team! Even if he isn't doing anything, he's just waiting up for me to get back in bed. </p>