https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 12:31:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672656 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 10:43:35 +0000 Turd Ferguson 1672656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: This is exactly where were at right now. DH travels a ton for work, lately it's been m-f stints, but I know he has a few 10 day trips coming up. We've been talking about if we want another, and his travel/my solo parenting has a lot to do with why we might be leaning towards 1 and done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672577 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 10:11:53 +0000 erwoo 1672577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chastenet: For sure! But it will happen when they are both sick. Not fun, but at least you have the experience of caring for one so you'll know better the second time around and worry a little bit less. At least that's how I found myself after we had our second. I don't freak out as easily when he has a fever b/c I know what to look for to be concerned. My husband freaks out every time still. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672568 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 10:09:28 +0000 erwoo 1672568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: I can see how hectic it can be having to do it by yourself. And, yes, two would be pretty crazy. Despite all the craziness, I do have to say that there are benefits to having two. When things are great and they are both playing so nicely and giving you time to do some stuff uninterrupted is sooo nice. Sometimes I just sit and watch them play. Then when they fight and when they are both sick... well, just makes me want to tie my tubes or return one. Haha! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672535 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:57:43 +0000 Chastenet 1672535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erwoo: Yes, I expect two to be more than twice the work. I just have to hope I will figure it out! Our kids will be 22 months apart. And I don't want to think about 2 sick at the same time...1 sick baby is bad enough. Even worse is when you are sick, too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672523 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:55:05 +0000 Smurfette 1672523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH travels Mon-Thurs every week. So I have 4 full days by myself. I work so I do all drop off and pickups, rush to get home and get her fed, and then bath and bedtime. There are good days and bad days. </p> <p>The fact that he travels is one reason that we are thinking about being one and done. The thought of 2 by myself scares the crap out of me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672508 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:47:03 +0000 erwoo 1672508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chastenet: I hate it say it, especially since you're expecting your second soon, but it can be a lot harder with two. Infant - toddler years are just tough in general, especially because they aren't in full-time school yet and still need a lot of your attention. How many years will your kids be apart? Mine are one month shy of being three years apart and there are a lot of great days when they do play together. But when they are sick all bets are off... cranky city here we come... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672459 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:32:01 +0000 Chastenet 1672459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, travels Mon-Thurs every week. Has done this since before DD was born. LO2 is due any day now and I am not sure how I'll cope. I work from home and have help during the day, but evenings are already a rush with 1 child. I feel like I can't play with DD because as soon as I'm done working I need to get dinner together and then it's right into the bedtime routine. Also I hate being home alone at night, I always sleep terribly.<br /> Basically, I feel your pain, it sucks! Hopefully this situation will only last for 1 more year for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/spouses-or-so-who-frequently-travels-for-work#post-1672420 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:19:59 +0000 erwoo 1672420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to vent a little and I'm also curious about how you deal when your spouse or SO who travels for work.</p> <p>Up until our move to Asia my husband didn't travel much at all. He actually took a non-travelling job when we started trying to have a family. Prior to that job he did have a travelling job but it wasn't so bad since it was just the two of us. He stayed at the non-traveling job for about almost 3 years (right after we had our second) and switched jobs to one that traveled but not as much as he does now. He now travels at least 50-70% of the time now. Maybe even more! Most times it's just a 2.5 hour high speed train ride away to the southern part of the island. Sometimes for the day, sometimes for 4-5 days of the work week. Last month he went to the states for 2.5 weeks and now he is gone for another week or so back in the states but he left 1.5 days after a 4 day trip down south which meant that the kids barely saw him on Friday night after he got home (late) from work. So basically by the time he comes back from his U.S. trip he'll have been gone for 2 weeks again this month. Did I mention that he works 12 hour days and sometimes more if he's traveling or if they are super busy? </p> <p>Anyway, it's been brutal. My youngest is already so glued to me so when both kids want me at the same time I go pretty crazy running around the house. And this is with a live-in helper! It's insane! My youngest gives me a lot of anxiety! He is always calling out for me...like "mommy come! mommy wei wei (feed me in Chinese), mommy poo, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, etc. You get the idea. He just can not wait. Not even one second. It's actually really stressful. He'll ask for something and then while I'm on my way to get it he'll ask for something else and want both at the that same second. Whoa... I usually have this "I'm going to go crazy" look on my face by then. Our helper is great. She runs to him whenever he is yelling for me. I don't mind at all. Go for it! Anything to make him stop calling out for me. But sometimes he JUST WANTS ME. *Sigh* So at least with my husband around he can tend to our oldest while I take care of our youngest. Even then sometimes they both want me. I think part of it is b/c my husband travels so much that they are used to me doing things for them.</p> <p>And the kids ALWAYS get sick when he is gone. I'm sure my husband feels helpless but all he ever does is tell me to take them to the doctors, etc. I started to get a little annoyed because of course I will take them if I find that they "need" to go. And then tonight he said it while we were FaceTiming with him during dinner. He told me to take my youngest to the doctor and my youngest started crying hysterically! For a good 20 minutes. He was SO upset that his dad told him to go to the doctors. Like SUPER upset! He HATES the doctors. Most kids do but this one... he's a tough one. He used to cry when a nurse even looked at him. Well, he used to cry when ANYONE looked at him. He's better now but I never know when he's going to go hysterical. During his last doctor's visit, he actually stood on the scale to get weighed. HUGE improvement! I'm glad only one of my kids hates the doctors. </p> <p>I'm trying to stay sane but some days I just want to scream and cry my eyes out b/c I'm just so exhausted. I do give myself a time out and go to my room but it only lasts for a second b/c one of them is right behind me crying his eyes out b/c I walked away. I could be that mom who lets their helper raise her kids but then I would be criticized for it for sure. Plus, I don't think I could do it. I don't want to miss out on these early years. And I think that's why I'm so exhausted and stressed out all the time. I know that I can make things better but I'm so stressed out that sometimes I can't think. I always forget to acknowledge what he wants first before explaining to him why he has to wait. For example, he was beeeegging me to read to him while I was trying to clean our dog's ears. I first told him that I will as soon as I'm done cleaning our dog's ears. Nope. He just kept whining for me to read to him. Then suddenly I remembered! I need to acknowledge what he wants first! And when I did that he finally agreed to wait. I said, "I know you want me to read to you, but I have to first finish cleaning Nala's ears. Then I can read to you. Is that okay?" He responds, "uh huh..." which is his "yes." Whew!!</p> <p>Does your spouse or SO travel a lot and what are your struggles with your child(ren)? How do you deal with it? </p>