https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Jul 2026 00:23:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1642901 Sun, 18 May 2014 14:40:44 +0000 shopaholic 1642901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: I agree, it's mostly about safety. She doesn't seem to understand yet, but I just have to keep repeating myself. The first fit we had actually was because I decided to give the backpack harness a try. Like a compromise of freedom to walk within my control. Well, she had a FIT because she couldn't go further than the leash would allow. Wearing her in that situation is even worse these days. But I like the sitting near her but not touching tip. I will try that when it happens again. </p> <p>@hilsy85: @scg00387: @MamaCate: Thanks mamas. Yes, I think this is the problem. Like I am hoping that giving her a few minutes to get the wiggles out will be nice for her to stretch, have fun, but taking that away is torture for her. I've been trying to "explain" and talk about rules, etc., but I think she doesn't get it yet. I can get her to calm down quickly with a snack or toy, but I thought you're not supposed to rely on those kinds of things. </p> <p>@MamaCate: @Mrs. High Heels: Thanks for the book recs! Will check them out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641920 Sat, 17 May 2014 17:22:29 +0000 Applesandbananas 1641920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use puffs as a bribe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641897 Sat, 17 May 2014 16:51:06 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1641897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with all of the above. I usually give my LO's one of two choices, they can either hold my hand or sit in the stroller.</p> <p>I recommend <i>How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids will Talk</i>, and <i>The Happiest Toddler on the Block</i> for books on communicating with your kids. I also like <i>Positive Discipline</i>. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641814 Sat, 17 May 2014 14:47:51 +0000 SleepyMonkey 1641814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually do the choices too. Either you do this or you're going in the stroller. I think they understand even at that age and if they don't, they will if you keep framing it that way. I usually ignore her tantrums and that seems to work (over time) in lessening them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641137 Fri, 16 May 2014 22:36:18 +0000 Weagle 1641137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with both @hilsy85: and @scg00387: . The bottom line is, I'm the parent, and I make the rules. She can throw a tantrum all day long, but there's no way I'm going to give in when I don't think it's an appropriate time for that kind of freedom. She'll learn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641118 Fri, 16 May 2014 22:06:37 +0000 MamaCate 1641118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: I was going to echo @scg00387: about choices. You can hold my hand or ride in the stroller/get carried by mama. Once you follow through a few times they usually get a little more cooperative.</p> <p>My favorite toddler behavior book is happiest toddler on the block by Harvey Karp. He is a pediatrician and there are lots of practical strategies that focus on reinforcing positive behavior and reducing challenging behaviors. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641096 Fri, 16 May 2014 21:52:52 +0000 immabeetoo 1641096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: I tell LO he has two options - hold my hand, or go in the stroller/tula. Sometimes it takes a few reminders, but typically having that choice makes him more amenable. If he is wavering I count to 3 (he is used to this; I used to explain it before I did when we first started) and he either needs to take my hand or I pick him up. </p> <p>I also agree with@hilsy85: it's harder to take freedom away. So, if I know he won't be able to walk freely for very long I don't let him down in the first place! And snacks in a pinch. Always snacks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641088 Fri, 16 May 2014 21:46:21 +0000 hilsy85 1641088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find that if I give him freedom and take it away it's harder sometimes...so I won't take him out of the stroller unless I know he will be able to run around and do what he wants to do. I also try to give him a space to really stretch his legs as much as possible. When he tantrums bc he wants to be loose and I can't let him, I will just force hi m into the stroller and start waklking. Sometimes I can distract him with a toy or food, sometimes he just cries for a while. I try to keep the explanations short--"you can't walk bc it's not safe and you could get a boo boo from the Cars". </p> <p>I will say at 18 months he has gotten a lot better and I can now sometimes let him walk behind me and the stroller. He still hates holding hands, so I try not to force jt </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641076 Fri, 16 May 2014 21:35:43 +0000 travelgirl1 1641076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: My LO is on the feisty side and started tantrums early. This isn't the best advice but it's what I do. When we have issues with the stroller and I have both girls with me, it's not negotiable, they HAVE to go in the stroller because it's simply not safe to have them both running around. So I have to explain that I know they don't want to but they have to go in the stroller and force them to go in and they will throw a fit but usually calm down very quickly. When it's just my LO, if she doesn't want to go in the stroller, I'll try wear her instead, if she is still paddying and I really have to go out, I pick the easiest way to get her there (usually wearing her) and just do it. We use a backpack harness where we can because that solves the won't hold hand problem and gives her lots of freedom while giving us huge peace of mind, but she's not old enough to be able to wear it in the street, for example. If she pushes me away because she wants to flex her wings, what I'm trying to do is not force her to be held, but say "I know you're upset, Mummy is going to sit here A, you sit there and play a little", then she is right by me but doesn't have to touch me if she doesn't want to. Sometimes she runs as far away as she can, other times it works really nicely and within a minute or two she will come for a cuddle. </p> <p>I don't think at this age they understand the logical, reasoning side of it all - they just want to run and explore, and don't have the words to express it. It's a tough age for them - and us!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/start-of-tantrums-booksadvicehelp#post-1641031 Fri, 16 May 2014 20:59:04 +0000 shopaholic 1641031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh good grief! I think we officially had our first tantrum today. LO is 14+ months and I thought we'd still have a few months at least, though I have seen signs of them coming. </p> <p>I've been reading back posts. A lot of set them in a safe place, let them cry it out, talk to them about it. </p> <p>Well, K seems to only really get frustrated (so far), because she wants to walk/run around and AWAY from me. No more than 2 weeks since starting walking and she refuses to hold my hand walking. She will make a beeline for any door/exit she can find. Trying to pick her up and put her in the stroller/carseat is what is causing the tantrum. What can I do? Where is the "safe place" to let her cry it out when the one thing she wants is freedom? She doesn't ever seem to understand "wait" and my logical talking to her. She just won't even look at me when holding her, she just does everything she can with her body to get away. </p> <p>Any good book recommendations? Tips? I'm so not prepared for this yet.</p> <p>*ETA: She's also been sick, so not sure if that has something to do with it? Like she doesn't feel well? </p>