https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 17:32:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-129403 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:31:19 +0000 DillonLion 129403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Nothing to really stay "current" on in my field. Plus, I'm not really wild about staying in my field anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-129398 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:30:07 +0000 DillonLion 129398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: We have begun that process! We've got a bit of a savings already, so we are going to get really diligent about using a lot of my salary to pay down debt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-129080 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 06:39:17 +0000 winniebee 129080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was going to suggest trying to live off of DH's salary for the next 6 months and see how it goes. Bonus? You will grow your savings by saving your salary ; ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-129062 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 05:49:48 +0000 hellobeeboston 129062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Now that i am pregnant I have been thinking a lot about this - but I don't think it's in the cards for us right now. </p> <p>I am in a challenging profession that i love, but the hours are tough, usually have to bring work home and some weekends.</p> <p>I also have all of our benefits through my job since my husband has his own business. When looking at the cost of daycare I will still have just under half my paycheck left --- So all of those things added up mean I will be working. </p> <p>I would love to start my own business, maybe after my husbands takes off - then I could be home and maybe have a nanny to help out.... Maybe for baby #2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-129018 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 02:01:34 +0000 looch 129018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another thing to consider is how easily you can exit and then re-enter your field. It might make sense to stay at home while you have little ones if you don't need to keep current on licenses, registrations and education credits. If you do, and you can also maintain some level of sanity, I'd consider working through. </p> <p>We banked my entire salary for the time when we were married to when my maternity leave ran out...we had just over 3 years to do it and we lived solely off of my husband's salary. It is totally manageable, but I've had to make some sacrifices! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128948 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 21:40:59 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 128948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: We always knew I'd be a SAHM, so we started working toward that goal as soon as we'd made the decision to TTC. We paid of all our debts (we have a mortgage and DH's student loans, but that's it) then started living off of DH's paycheck and putting all the money I made into savings. By the time Little Jumper was born, we had a nice cushiony savings and had been used to living off of DH's paycheck for quite some time. To be fair, we had three years to do that -- although we never imagined it would take us 3 years to get pregnant. </p> <p>If, after paying childcare, you're left with $100... then I'd put some serious consideration into being a SAHM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128498 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:01:36 +0000 Modern Daisy 128498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I"m not pregnant yet, but I wouldn't be able to stay home at this point. My DH and I make almost the exact same amount to the dollar (I literally made about $550 more than him in 2011 and now he's on track to make like $300 more than me in 2012) and just one of our incomes is not enough to pay for our mortgage, maintenance and basic living expenses. And I make enough that the cost of me staying home would be much greater than me going back to work, even if we were to have twins. </p> <p>And in this scenario it's actually unfortunate that we both like our jobs so much and have no motivation to leave for higher paying ones, which we could both easily do. It's totally normal in our industry to switch companies every 3-5 years for a 20%+ jump in pay, but we both love our jobs so much that it would have a huge negative impact on our quality of life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128489 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:55:39 +0000 Adira 128489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: So you could always just start off being a SAHM for now since your current job isn't really worth it. Then if you decide you'd rather go back to work, find a better job. That would be my vote for you. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128485 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:53:09 +0000 DillonLion 128485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Better pay and benefits for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128482 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:50:24 +0000 Adira 128482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: Yeah, no benefits doesn't really give a lot of incentive to stay. I would say that it really sounds like being a SAHM makes more sense. That or finding a better paying job. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128475 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:44:25 +0000 DillonLion 128475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Nope. No benefits. We just finally got health insurance that goes into effect May 1st, but that is all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128474 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:43:34 +0000 Adira 128474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I can't really weigh in, but I'm curious: does your current employer provide you with 401(k)s or other retirement services? For me, that would be a HUGE factor into whether I stayed home or not. You might not be bringing home much after child care costs, but you should also take into account any money that's going to retirement savings. Of course, if don't have a 401(k) or something similar, then all you'll really miss out on is that extra $100, which, as you've said before, may be moot anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128426 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:03:15 +0000 DillonLion 128426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Yeah, the "sanity" aspect is what gives me pause a lot of the time. But I guess there is not way for me to find out without actually experiencing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128424 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:02:29 +0000 DillonLion 128424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: Thank you for your perspective!</p> <p>"I like the fact that I have so much control over my day- I take breaks when I want, I have lunch when I want, I go to the bathroom when I want, I check email when I want."</p> <p>Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to describe my job that way at all! So, I definitely wouldn't have that as a reason for staying at my current job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128415 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:57:39 +0000 looch 128415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to go part time, but it didn't work out, so I decided, while on maternity leave not to return to work. It was a difficult decision and I know I will have to return to work, not because of the money, but because I need to work to be sane. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128407 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:53:19 +0000 Lozza 128407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work, and while I don't adore my current projects, I would not want to stay at home.<br /> I wish I was home more... I think in my ideal world, I'd have a setup similar to Ohapostrophe's- getting in lots of quality time with LO but still having that time devoted to personal and professional development.<br /> Sometimes I feel like it is hard enough maintaining an identity outside being a mom when your kids are little.. and while it's not impossible by any means for a SAHM, working automatically gives me a second identity. I like my colleagues- I like the friendships I have, I like having adult conversations, and I like the social aspect of my job during the day. I like the intellectual challenges. I like the fact that I have so much control over my day- I take breaks when I want, I have lunch when I want, I go to the bathroom when I want, I check email when I want. (Those sound so small, but I swear they meant so much to me when I first went back to work after maternity leave). I wish my commute were shorter, but I like the fact that I have some downtime to listen to music or catch up on the news or call my grandmothers when I am going 3 miles an hour on the highway. I like the fact that I almost never get sick of being with LO or frustrated by LO; when I'm away from him during weekdays, I can handle pretty much anything when I'm with him, and that I feel like almost all our time together is quality time. (This is aided by the fact that we have a cleaning service, which we'd give up if I stayed home, and that means there are less chores I have to worry about at home, freeing up more time for LO). I like LO's daycare- I like the socialization that he gets (he LOVES being around other kids), and the fact that he totally does more interesting activities at school than I'd be able to come up with every hour of every day at home.<br /> And I figured that I could always decide to stay home with him (my mom stayed home with my sister and I, and I feel like the times when I really most appreciated that fact was middle school, not when I was a toddler... so I feel like if I really decide that being a SAHM is where it's at, I know I have plenty of time to make LO feel like he got the benefit of a SAHM). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128392 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:41:22 +0000 kml636 128392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to try to do part time. If I was in your situation though, I would stay home. I guess we'll never know until it happens to us though! I had a stay at home mom so I always thought I would do the same, but financially I am scared of being dependent... I just don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128374 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:21:41 +0000 ohapostrophe 128374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have a lot of SAHM perspectives so I thought I'd weigh in with a different one. I work 3 days a week and I have to say it has worked out to be the perfect situation for my family. Now, I do really enjoy my job, which may not be the case for you. I have flexible hours and spend all morning with my son on all but one day of the week. Working part-time gives me an identity outside of being a mom, gives me a break that lets me enjoy my son more on the days that I'm home, and also helps my family financially. I don't think I could handle working full time (would feel like I'm missing too much at home!), but I'm not sure I could handle being a fulltime SAHM either (it's not an easy job). Just wanted to throw that out there. Good luck with your decision! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128315 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 12:40:55 +0000 DillonLion 128315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Oceanis723: Thanks for this!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128311 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 12:36:51 +0000 Mrs. Train 128311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a SAHM to four kids. They are all under four so they are at home with me. I'll be honest. It's not a glamorous life style. It is 24/7 and you never get everything done that you think you should be able to do. Some days my kids annoy me to no end. There are some days when my husband come home and I am still in my pajamas, look a mess and have had to go to the bathroom for hours but haven't found the time. My days ate full of dirty diapers, snotty noses, and messes galore </p> <p> But I wouldn't have it any other way. Each day I see them learn new things or change just a little. I always think about what it would be like if I missed those moments. I would be do disappointed. My day is also full of hugs and kisses and playing games. My children want to be around me and love my attention and I am so blessed to be in a financial situation to be able to give them my time. </p> <p>I like being the one to raise them instead of someone else. I was a high school teacher before kids. I couldn't see myself spending all day with someone else's kids while paying someone to be with mine. I Understand people who work though. I was raised by two working parents and never felt my life was lacking in any way. It is a personal choice that every couple must make when having kids. The good thing is you can always change your mind and quit a job or find a job. If you do pick SAHM I suggest sticking it out at least a couple months. The first weeks can be lonely and a bit overwhelming. But as your child gets oldwr and interacts more it feels a litle less isolating. Also get other SAHMs as friends. Play dates can save your sanity!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128309 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 12:34:48 +0000 DillonLion 128309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: Yeah, we are basically on the exact same page there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128301 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 12:24:37 +0000 daniellemybelle 128301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I only brought home $100 after childcare, it would probably a very simple decision. Unless we really couldn't made ends meet - then we would try to find a more affordable childcare option or try to get help from family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128297 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 12:22:10 +0000 Maysprout 128297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't plan to be a SAHM but it worked out that way. I was pretty unhappy in my job so it's given me some time to figure out what I want to do and start on a different tract. For me it's a nice opportunity, I'll keep working but right now I think it helps keep our family more emotionally happy for me to work less instead of more. It's a bit of a step back but when I thought about the lack of fulfillment I felt in my career and that financially it was feasible for me to stay home I couldn't really find the motivation to leave my daughter to work crappy hours researching silly things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128268 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:56:06 +0000 Arden 128268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with lots of the other ladies here, I think it would make more sense for you to be a SAHM. If you get bored or would like to bring in a little extra business, you could always work from home part time, running an etsy shop something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128265 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:54:51 +0000 DillonLion 128265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: No matter what, I'm not going to make any final decisions with my employer until much later. I work in a very small office (4 employees) for a relatively new company, so no one has ever been pregnant at this office or needed/wanted maternity leave. So, I do not know what the procedure is going to be in that aspect. </p> <p>But, if we really want to consider my staying home as an option, I'd rather start getting everything in order immediately, even if I'm still working throughout the pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128259 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:51:26 +0000 Boogs 128259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I'm a SAHM and we always agreed I would be when we had kids, so it's something we always planned for. We are comfortable on just DH's income, so it works for us. </p> <p>Does your current employer offer maternity leave? Maybe during that time you'll have a better idea of what it would be like to be a SAHM and decide then? I know some people frown upon leaving your employer at the end of maternity leave, but it's actually really common and you have to do what is best for you. The good thing about that plan also means you don't have to look for a new job right away if the SAHM thing doesn't work out. You can always look for a new job after that point if you do want to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128252 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:42:29 +0000 Minnie_Girl 128252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been working from home since last year and love it. I'm really grateful for my career's flexibility. As a writer/editor, even though my income isn't stable and benefits are nil, I can move anywhere and do anything I like, so long as I manage my time.</p> <p>When I found out I was pregnant, it didn't mean a break in my career. It simply meant I'd have fuller days. I actually feel much more motivated to be successful, as my husband and I will be providing for someone else and setting the example. I have no plans to stop working, and my plan for career advancement at this point is the same. </p> <p>Honestly, if my career was something I had to do outside of the home, I wouldn't be able to give it up. It's my passion! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-128128 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 10:35:52 +0000 DillonLion 128128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for all the insights so far, ladies!</p> <p>Anyone else care to weigh in? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-127725 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 07:05:27 +0000 hilsy85 127725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't had our LO yet, but I"m 90% sure that I"ll be a SAHM for at least the first 6 months. We're very lucky in that DH's income is more than enough to support us--my income is really just a drop in the bucket (I also work in social work, so not exactly high paid!). For me, personally, it's important that I be the one to raise my kids--not a nanny or a daycare. Also, since i don't HAVE to work, and it's not like I LOVE my job, it would seem selfish for me to continue to work when I could be home with LO. I might feel very differently if I had a job that I really adored. But right now, I"m looking forward to being able to be at home and do a million things with LO :) I think your plan to start living off DH's salary is a good one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/staying-at-home#post-127023 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 17:26:28 +0000 heffalump 127023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wanted to be a SAHM. My mom was one, and I loved having her home with me, so I wanted to be able to do the same with my LO. It would be pointless for me to work for money reasons because all of what I earned would have gone to day care. </p> <p>I did have a little freakout after LO was just a couple of months because I thought I made the wrong decision. She had reflux so she cried for hours on end without being able to soothe her. I was going crazy! But I'm glad I stuck it out, because we were able to figure out what was wrong, get her meds, and now I'm so happy being home with her every day. I hate how fast she grows but I'm so happy to know that I'm not missing a second of it. </p>