https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 18:53:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2882193 Fri, 26 Apr 2019 12:04:09 +0000 LCTBQE 2882193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: :grin: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881859 Tue, 23 Apr 2019 20:12:53 +0000 LabradorLover 2881859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: thanks for responding! I agree that whatever works for both baby and myself will be great! I already feel better about everything after seeing everyone else’s responses to me. :heart: </p> <p>@lindseykaye: I’m glad this could help you out, too! Mom guilt is a real thing for sure and DH doesn’t understand (I don’t blame him for that either, I get how he doesn’t get it) so it’s nice to come on here and have all of this support from people who actually understand! Good luck to you and I hope your guilt goes away! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881826 Tue, 23 Apr 2019 15:02:04 +0000 lindseykaye 2881826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: I just wanted to say thanks for this post. Reading all the replies really helped me as I am currently figuring out how my own pumping/breastfeeding journey will go. </p> <p>I returned to work part-time for a few weeks in February, then full-time in March. I've supplemented from about 7 weeks and am SO happy that we did, but I also struggle with my own sense of obligation and guilt over my decreasing supply and how *easy* I have it when it comes to pumping at work. I even have a brand new facility with a Mother's Room that I got to design and... well I might not be using it much longer. It's just nice to have the backup of plenty of mamas on here who have been in similar positions and know that what's best for me and my LO is purely up to us. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881755 Tue, 23 Apr 2019 04:10:33 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2881755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I went back to work I decided the hassle of pumping (which I hated in part because it was uncomfortable since I never quite had a good fit with the flanges and in part because it involved cleaning after each use) and figuring out cold storage 4 days a week when my “office” was a car was too much. Once I returned to work I breastfed LO when I could and after about a month I no longer produced milk. No guilt- LO was fine with formula.</p> <p>Get creative if that’s what you feel like doing. Whatever you decide will be best for babe as long as it’s also best for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881708 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 18:49:22 +0000 LabradorLover 2881708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: 100% this and I appreciate you reiterating it to me. 🙌🏻 I’m so so happy being a mommy and I don’t want to waste any more time feeling guilty or losing joy like you said! </p> <p>@agold: you are so kind! Let me see how it goes and maybe I’ll end up taking you up on that offer. I’m going to try and leave my pump at work and just carry the milk/bottles back and forth. I appreciate your offer! </p> <p>@Rocker2014: thank you, hopefully my supply will stick around and I can keep nursing like you did! Thanks for chiming in :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881683 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 15:44:59 +0000 LabradorLover 2881683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: sooo is it weird if I say I love you and your responses?!?! :silly: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881648 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 12:04:31 +0000 Rocker2014 2881648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just chiming in to add that combo feeding is a totally do-able thing for you to consider. I nursed morning and evening/overnight from when LO was 11 weeks until 14 months when she self weaned. Our bodies are amazing, and can adjust to a lot of things, including this! </p> <p>Whatever you decide will be fine, just wanted to reiterate that it isn't an all or nothing choice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881645 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 11:42:14 +0000 agold 2881645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: Do what you think will keep you happy. But if you want to keep pumping, I would be willing to send you an extra pump and whatever parts you want so you don't have to lug yours back and forth between work and home. I've accumulated three pumps and I'll be done pumping in a couple of weeks! So I would for sure send you one if you want it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881627 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 09:13:44 +0000 graceandjoy 2881627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read through the other replies, I just wanted to jump in and probably say this for the 1000th time, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. I had to supplement my 1st at 6 months, and by 9 months totally weaned and on formula. With my 2nd, still BF-ing at 28 months LOL and its ALL OKAY! I know it is SO SO SO hard to not feel guilty b/c it's drilled into our heads that breast is best and you see some other moms out there putting in the hard work and get you feeling like you need to be a martyr too. </p> <p>Reality is, I was so stressed out about supply with my 1st, I feel like it robbed a lot of joy from me. If I could only just relax and not worry about how I was feeding LO! Don't listen to all the noises; do what's best so that you can be a happy mom that can be 100% for her baby! </p> <p> :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881626 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 09:12:32 +0000 LCTBQE 2881626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: :heart: it’s going to be fine! Breast is only best in the unicorn circumstance that mama has great supply, doesn’t work, is well rested, doesn’t need ppa medication, baby doesn’t have a tongue tie, etcetera etc fucking cetera. Formula is great and she will get everything she needs. FWIW I agree with all the awesome ladies above who say combo feeding is worth a try, that’s what I’ve done with both babies and it’s nice and it’s easy. If it was stressful or if my body didn’t do well with it, I’d quit bf and eff without another thought 🙃 I hope you feel zero guilt with whatever you guys end up doing. And sorry to hear you’re returning to work, it is so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881612 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 05:54:39 +0000 LabradorLover 2881612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePumps: I haven’t looked into different pumps because it wasn’t even a thought! I’ll have to check it out though, thanks for the suggestion! But you’re right, I need to do what keeps me sane and baby will be fine! :happy: </p> <p>@Kitkat: I’m glad to know you felt the same way. I’m hoping my plan to pump once during the day and nurse the rest of the day and formula whenever it’s needed works. I’m already starting to feel better about everything from everybody on here! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881606 Mon, 22 Apr 2019 00:42:15 +0000 Kitkat 2881606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven’t read all the other responses, but I exclusively nursed/pumped for a year with my first and drove myself crazy. I hated how quickly I blew through the freezer stash I built up before going back to work, I hated having to worry about pumping enough for the next day, and I hated feeling like it was solely my responsibility to feed the baby. </p> <p>This time around, I decided I would do my best to give the baby as much breastmilk as possible, and would supplement with formula when needed rather than stressing about pumping a certain amount per day. DS2 is 9 months, he nurses in the morning, I pump once or twice (usually just once) at work, and then we nurse once or twice when we get home from work/daycare. I love the freedom of knowing daycare can just give him formula when he’s done with my breastmilk. I love that I can leave him with DH or his grandparents and they can give him a bottle of formula. It’s honestly so freeing and the baby is happy and healthy (I actually think he’s been sick less than DS1 was in his first year). </p> <p>Don’t feel guilty. Do what feels best for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881593 Sun, 21 Apr 2019 19:19:30 +0000 PurplePumps 2881593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: I agree that you just need to do what is best for your sanity since that is probably most important to being a good mom. One way or another you baby will be fed and healthy. I was only at work 3 days/week for like 3 week and pumping was already a pain in the ass (with the Spectra S2, and I could walk away for as long as I needed and had nice pumping rooms) and I was still unable to keep up with every 2-3 hrs so a hear ya on dreading pumping full tie at work. If you want to try pumping though, have you looked into the discrete pumps like Elvie or Willow? My friend told me about it and she said she could pump anywhere, (she pumped while bowling!) and no one could tell, it just looked like her chest was a little larger than normal. Maybe that would make it easier to pump at your desk? It's expensive, but so is formula, so it might balance out eventually. Just a thought... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881589 Sun, 21 Apr 2019 17:42:47 +0000 LabradorLover 2881589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: thank you for that article! You’re right, fed is best and I know I’m doing the best for my daughter already. She will be ok and so will I! Thanks for your input! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881582 Sun, 21 Apr 2019 13:19:08 +0000 MamaCate 2881582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: I saw this article this morning and thought of you—a data driven perspective on “breast is best” among other things:<br /> <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/19/opinion/sunday/baby-breastfeeding-sleep-training.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share" rel="nofollow">https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/19/opinion/sunday/baby-breastfeeding-sleep-training.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share</a></p> <p>FWIW, I managed to just pump twice (10 and 2 ish in an 8-5ish day and keep up with nursing and pumping. Pumping felt like the price I paid for nursing and then when I stopped pumping at twelve months and just nursed am/pm it was all gravy. </p> <p>But I would encourage you to think about”fed is best” and do what works for you and your family. Good luck with the transition back to work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881577 Sun, 21 Apr 2019 09:49:38 +0000 magnolia 2881577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: the image of the pump strapped into the passenger seat cracked me up for some reason!!! Thanks so much for the link, I may have to try this </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881568 Sun, 21 Apr 2019 03:44:27 +0000 LabradorLover 2881568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: @periwinklebee: @SweetCaroline: @bhbee: @magnolia: @snarkybiochemist: @MamaBear87: thank you all for your support and experiences! :heart: </p> <p>@crazydoglady: @Pollywog: I am definitely going to try the combo feeding thing and see how it goes. I’m not totally giving up yet, just not wanting to put in the effort of pumping a bunch of times at work. I’m a legal secretry in a law firm that has about 200 people altogether and I don’t get work emails on my phone. Plus, I do a lot of editing documents but not possible for me to pump at my desk while trying to edit a document! Haha that could be an ideal situation but I’m not sure my co-workers would like that! :wink: :heart: </p> <p>@thepicklemonster: I don’t blame you for hating it altogether. For me, BF is a lot of work and while I love the extra time with the baby, I know all of the feeding is my job and all falls into my hands. That’s why DH supports whatever I decide because he said “you do all of the work so it’s totally your decision!” (Which was the right answer) :silly: haha :heart: </p> <p>@Ms. RV: my commute is by car so I could certainly try pumping during that time. The only issue is that I park in a valet parking garage so I would need to be done pumping before I arrived so I’m not trying to disassemble while the guys are waiting to take my car haha the office I work in has a room for pumping (it’s basically a closet) so I have no issues going in there on my break. Otherwise I’d have to wait for the guys to get my car, find on-street parking, pump, bring car back to get parked and would probably use up more of my lunch than necessary as opposed to just using the room. I appreciate your support and input!! :heart: </p> <p>I am definitely feeling less guilty about the situation as a whole as more time passes. I hope the combo feeding works out and I can continue to BF for a bit longer but I know if it doesn’t, I’ll be ok and shouldn’t feel bad about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881559 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 21:23:12 +0000 Pollywog 2881559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few things, have you thought about just trying to pump for 2 weeks and then making a decision? I am gone about 9.5 hours and pump twice. I leave my pump and parts at work and transport my milk in my coffee thermos. Pumping itself isn't a big deal. I literally answer emails on my phone for the 15 minutes I'm pumping. For me, it's seriously way more effort to formula feed.</p> <p>But if my experience isn't your experience, there's a lot of in betweens. You could pump once a day, formula feed at daycare and nurse at night, or just be super proud you made in 3 months.</p> <p>The only reason I'm advocating trying is I know several people who had your plan to switch to formula feeding when they start working and they really missed nursing. Many of them wished they considered combo feeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881552 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 18:40:36 +0000 Ms. RV 2881552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnolia: I actually pumped in the car with a Symphony! I bought one of these and it worked great.</p> <p><a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/EverStart-120W-Slim-Inverter/109463375" rel="nofollow">http://www.walmart.com/ip/EverStart-120W-Slim-Inverter/109463375</a></p> <p>I also buckled my pump into the passenger seat so it wouldn't slide around if I stopped suddenly or made a sharp turn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881551 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 18:36:09 +0000 magnolia 2881551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: I always wondered how pumping while driving works. I have the Pisa which has to be plugged Into an outleT </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881549 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 18:00:07 +0000 Ms. RV 2881549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is your commute by car? If so, can you pump during one (or both?) of your commutes in addition to the once while at work? As someone who EPed for eight weeks and hated it, I can tell you that pumping while driving was the only place it didn't suck. Even better if you can take your pump break in your car, you can leave the pump in there and just worry about carrying your milk and parts back and forth.</p> <p>But honestly, don't feel guilty about combo feeding or formula feeding. A mom's mental well-being is way more important than any benefit breast milk might have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881548 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 17:39:55 +0000 MamaBear87 2881548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend has successfully nursed her little only morning, night and weekends for more than a year now. She decided she was over pumping at work and just stopped. I'd guess you can likely keep up enough of a supply to do that with one pump per day. </p> <p>And either way your baby is loved and fed and you shouldn't feel at all guilty! I know if I worked that I would likely feel like pumping was too much work as well </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881546 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 16:49:20 +0000 thepicklemonster 2881546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nursed/pumped my first kid (DS now 2.5) for only six weeks, and my second one (DD now 3 months) only two weeks. I had no reason for stop other than... I hate breastfeeding and pumping, felt like it was kind of a waste of time, and wanted to feel like myself again after being pregnant for basically half of the past three years. I had tons of milk but just hated everything about it and was not my best self.</p> <p>I honestly feel no guilt whatsoever. My son is brilliant and happy. He is super verbal, is in the 85th percentile for height and weight, and gets sick way less frequently than my friends’ kids who were exclusively BF for a year. (For example, there have been HFM and other outbreaks in his class multiple times and he never caught it.). My baby is thriving on formula and sleeps through the night 7-7 at 3 months old. Formula has been perfect for me and my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881520 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 08:37:06 +0000 LabradorLover 2881520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really appreciate all of you giving me your thoughts and support! I just love HB! Haha</p> <p>I think the biggest issue here is that we have all heard “breast is best” (and I’m not saying it is or isn’t) and I know that my supply will likely dwindle with only pumping once during the day (instead of 3-4 times during the day). So if that dwindles and I can’t nurse her in the morning and at night, weekends, etc, that it’s really just my own fault because I chose not to pump as much.</p> <p>My goal really is to pump just the one time and nurse her whenever I’m with her and see how that goes so I’m not totally giving up yet. Once I get past this mental portion and realize that it doesn’t really matter, she is getting fed no matter which way, I’ll feel better. I know deep down that is all that really matters but I still feel guilty about it. I just love her to death and want to be the best mommy for her. </p> <p>Thanks again for sharing and supporting me! I don’t want to say that I’m happy others have felt this but I’m glad to know I’m not the only one! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881518 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 07:41:10 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2881518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I returned to work at 12 weeks already having to supplement, my supply never met her needs. My freezer stash met her needs for her first day of daycare and that's it. I made the choice to not pump when I was home with her and just enjoy her. I pumped at work for 4 months, I work a flexible job at work and I enjoyed the break it gave me most days. E stopped breastfeeding at 4.5 months so my supply took at hit since I wasn't willing to pump over night and I only pumped 5 times a day. She had already been getting formula so I wasn't concerned she would have trouble with it or anything. I kept pumping until 7 months when my supply practically disappeared. For me pumping and breastfeeding got tied up in some crap happening at work where nothing was working and so I decided that I had to keep pumping or everything would be a failure. Washing pump parts sucked, planning my day around pumping could be hard and I had a supportive boss and a flexible day.<br /> Long story short do what is going to make you the happiest. Find a formula that works for your baby and a bottle that they will take. I felt guilty at stopping and at not doing more but ultimately I was happier stopping, plus then I didnt have to plan my outfits so carefully. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881515 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 07:23:52 +0000 magnolia 2881515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I went back to work, my DS was 9 months. So my journey was a bit different because he was older and eating solids.<br /> That being said I hated pumping. I could never get comfortable and my pumping output was low. We supplemented with formula when I wasn’t home and my supply adjusted so that I could still nurse in the morning and at bedtime/overnight . I nursed him til he was 2.<br /> My point is, whatever works for you is the best option.<br /> Mom guilt is real. There’s almost always going to be something I feel bad about or i think I’m doing wrong . Try to give yourself some love for all the work and time you have put into nurturing your child already. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881514 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 07:18:21 +0000 bhbee 2881514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everything above just giving you one more message of support :heart: </p> <p>The most important thing is for you to be in a good mental place so you can enjoy your baby. If pumping affects that, you’ll be a better mommy not doing it. We put so much into the bf decision, but really it’s just one of many parenting decisions where we all just do our best and we all need to make the choices that work for us. Going back to work is hard enough on its own!!</p> <p>Also I agree that your body may surprise you - you may be able to just feed certain times of day and not lose supply. Worth a try for sure, but if it doesn’t work that will be ok too. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881513 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 06:51:28 +0000 crazydoglady 2881513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: Why not combo feed? BF in the morning, pump at lunch (can you leave your pump at work?), BF in the evening and night. Your body will adapt and make the milk it needs to. </p> <p>Big hugs!!</p> <p>I also want to add that I remember BF being the end-all-be-all but, really, they bf exclusively for a year. It's not a decision that will change the outcome of anything other than how they are fed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881506 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 05:05:20 +0000 SweetCaroline 2881506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LabradorLover: oh mama, I had these same feelings. You will likely have these feelings no matter when you stop. At the end of the day, you are an amazing mom if you can recognize and make the choice that will allow your baby to be fed and you to be as happy and stress free as possible so you can enjoy her. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/stopping-nursingpumping-amp-feeling-guilty#post-2881505 Sat, 20 Apr 2019 04:45:41 +0000 periwinklebee 2881505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You should not feel any guilt. Your LO will thrive on formula if that's what works best for you and your family. </p> <p>My job was 85% of time fairly conducive to pumping, the other 15% of time it sucked, but (for me) in a bearable way. My supply has always been somewhat anemic, I pumped several times per day and topped up with formula when it wasn't enough (which was pretty often!).</p> <p>There are lots of people here who would be happy to give advice on weaning or pumping at work, whatever path you decide... </p>