https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 22 Aug 2026 16:16:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-300036 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 13:45:49 +0000 Goldilocks1107 300036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: That's a good idea - I don't love going to bed by 9am, but it's what I need to do to get some sleep. And if we start alternating nights, I'm going to expect him to get up early on my "on" days to get her ready for daycare, that way I can sleep until 5:45. Because handling both night feedings (as he claims to do) is as unfair as expecting me to handle both "morning" feedings (if I have to do the 3am feed AND the pre-daycare feed).</p> <p>Great food for thought - I really appreciate the feedback. And that I'm not completely off base with what I'm planning to propose for options tonight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299875 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 12:48:02 +0000 pastemoo 299875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldilocks1107: Yeah, I get frustrated with DH when he is tired because he stayed up late, not really because of the baby (although I am not working, so I get all the night wake ups).<br /> I think you need to talk to him about his *choices* in sleeping.<br /> Right now I do this:<br /> Bedtime for baby: 7 30. Bedtime for mommy: 8:30. 10pm DH comes home from work and I get up and hang out. I get the baby up and feed him before I go to bed again (usually 11 but DH usually stays up). Then I can get my "long" stretch out of LO starting at 11pm instead of at 7 30pm.<br /> Can you make DH feed her right when he goes to bed, instead of always 9pm? Then he will get some sleep.... at least whatever her longest stretch is.<br /> Or.... skip the dream feed, like @irene said and see if she will sleep longer? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299864 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 12:40:41 +0000 Goldilocks1107 299864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: I know - it seems like a petty argument when lots of ladies don't have a choice! And I honestly thought things were working really well with the schedule we had.</p> <p>@irene: That's another option - put her down for bed, and when she gets up, we feed her. Maybe we'll try that this weekend to get a flavor for what that will look like. Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299860 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 12:38:59 +0000 winniebee 299860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldilocks1107: Well what about on your "on" night you stay up the extra time to do the later feeding - whoever does the later feeding gets a freebie the rest of the night? I know you have to get up super early, but if you could have guaranteed sleep from 10-5:15 that would be kind of amazing, no? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299779 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 12:10:25 +0000 irene 299779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And have 1 or 2 nights when you guys are both in good mood - try NOT to wake her at 9pm to feed and see what happens.... Maybe she won't wake until 2-4 am and you only need to get up once? </p> <p>For us we never did a dream feed, and LO usually sleeps from 7p-7a, waking up once between 2-4am. If that happens to work, then you guys can do alternate nights. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299745 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:52:16 +0000 irene 299745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Goldilocks1107: Just so you feel better.... my LO is 7.5 months now and he recently started sleeping through the night (7p-6a). However, before that, between 2 - 7 months, it was always my shift throughout the night (he gets up 1-2 times to eat and I nurse him). And it is always me responding to him when he gets up in the morning, let that be 5:30, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00... etc. And I have to keep him entertained until 9am when Nanny gets here and I'll start working. I am pretty much OK with it though :) But I have to say since I nurse him, it maybe easier for me because I usually gets back to sleep very quickly myself because I didn't have to be completely awake fixing bottles and all. </p> <p>I am not really offering any suggestions (!) but just so you know that you are not alone, and there are people that are in worse situations than you are! :) Don't think of it as "it is not fair you sleep while I get up twice"...etc. Think of it as love to your child and this is what you are willing to do for her. It's going to be a few more months (or shorter, depending on your luck!) before she sleeps through the night.... so hang in there! :)</p> <p>But seriously, maybe try dividing the night into 7p-1am, and 1am-6am? On Sunday and Monday maybe your DH can take 7p-1am and you take 1am-6am? Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299737 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:47:51 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 299737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would alternate nights, that way you get a full night's rest.</p> <p>Can I just say you are so lucky?? My LO doesn't take a bottle and I get up with her 3 + times a night. My DH hasn't helped at night since she was a newborn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299716 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:37:50 +0000 Goldilocks1107 299716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sammyfab: LO usually goes to sleep around 7pm and we do a "dream feed" before DH goes to bed. But I think he's still hesitant about the whole process and might be waiting until she stirs before feeding her. She'll usually sleep 7-9pm, 9pm-3am, then 3:30am-6:30am when I wake her up to get ready for daycare.</p> <p>@irene: She's 4 months old now, so we're regularly down to 1 night time feed . . . if she gets fed around 9pm. If it's earlier, odds are she sleeps 7-1am, 1am-5am.</p> <p>@LAGS: I think the real issue is DH not having a regular bedtime for himself. So he'll stay up Sunday and Monday nights watching football, then be cranky when he needs to get up to feed her at 3am.</p> <p>@winniebee: Yeah, I thought about that one, but then I would think it's unfair because I'm always the one getting up at night, while he gets to sleep from 10-6:30am or whatever.</p> <p>I just want to say "We all have to make sacrifices in our schedule - I'm waking up 30 minutes before I really NEED to get up so I can have LO ready for daycare so you can sleep an extra 30 minutes in the morning. And it's not like I WANT to go to bed at 8:30pm, I just know I need to do it otherwise I'll be a crabby zombie."<br /> But . . . that's just not a productive conversation :-)</p> <p>I told him we each need to write down what our impression of the evening is (how I think it's working and what he's actually doing), identify what would make a "fair" routine, identify some alternate options and then how long we'll try it out and when we'll regroup. </p> <p>I'm just glad I didn't say something really mean at 3:30 when he had a minor temper tantrum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299690 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:24:18 +0000 T.H.O.U. 299690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: When we were trying to night wean her we did the same thing, alternate getting up. </p> <p>I nursed though so most nights I got up twice and fed her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299583 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 10:38:40 +0000 Nskillet 299583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: we are blessed with a good sleeper! She was on the womb too. Though, we also set a routine at like 4 months old and rarely deviate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299473 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:55:26 +0000 winniebee 299473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: LUCKY!!!!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299470 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:54:44 +0000 Nskillet 299470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We alternate nights. However, have been blesssed by a baby who dropped her night feedings Awhile ago now! It's the occasional 445 wake up that kills us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299467 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:52:01 +0000 winniebee 299467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One suggestion, how about you do every other feeding? His 9 pm feed counts since you sleep. If she gets up at 12, your turn. Then if she gets up at 2, his turn, etc? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299431 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:34:29 +0000 regberadaisy 299431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry no help because I nurse so I wake up for all feedings. But that's a personal choice because it's easier for me to just nurse her rather than pump in the middle of the night.</p> <p>I can see why he thinks it's not fair because he's taking care of her while you're sleeping between you sleeping and him sleeping then again in the am. So in his mind he might be seeing it as he does it twice whereas you do it once in the middle of the night. If you really wanted to get particular.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299420 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:27:28 +0000 winniebee 299420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm....I think your schedule is pretty fair unless your baby shows a pattern of consistently getting up at a certain time (ie, like 3:30) every single night - if that's the case then maybe an every other night routine is better. </p> <p>I know our kids are the same age. Right now, I'm on still mat. leave and DH gets up for work at 5:15. If DS gets up before midnight, DH feeds him. If it's after midnight, I deal with it as I can sleep in. DS usually is in bed by 7:30 and I go to bed around 9 (or early if particularly tired). DH goes to bed a little later as he has to take care of some work at night usually on the computer. When I go back to work I just pray that sleep is better because I don't know what we will do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299413 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:23:22 +0000 LAGS 299413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tough call. Part of me thinks alternating nights would be a good plan because you'd have a full night's rest but only if you can sleep through LOs wake ups. Then again, if its been a particularly bad night I can imagine that'd be pretty rough for the on-duty parent that next day at work. I can see how the shifts would work well too with inconsistent or frequent wakings so you can at least get some shut-eye, but at that point think your husband would need to go to bed when you do. I'm struggling with it myself but sometimes you have to just accept that an early bedtime is the only way to get a good night's sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299403 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:08:05 +0000 irene 299403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How old is your baby? If he is very young, like before 2 months, I hate to break it to you but it is going to suck before it gets better.... it's gonna get better and more manageable when he drops down to 1-2 feedings a night...</p> <p>When LO was really young, like under 2 months old, our pediatrician suggests me to go to bed really early, 8-9pm (We put LO down at 6:30-7p). DH will take the 9pm-1am shift (so theoratically I'll get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, which is 1 sleep cycle) so he takes care of it no matter what. I will take care of 1am onwards. I was / am breastfeeding so I had to get up and pump regardless when LO wakes up to eat at around 10pm (because I would wake up in pain due to engorgement anyway). It is still nice because I don't have to deal with a colicky crying baby and trying to burp and get him back to sleep ...etc.</p> <p>It kinda works for us but I am also the type of person who does not need a lot of sleep. Since LO consistently dropped the 9p-1a around 2 months it is pretty much my shift for the entire night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299381 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 08:44:40 +0000 Sammyfab 299381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok...I'm assuming your DH feeds LO before he goes to bed as a dream feed? Does your LO get her long stretch of sleep after her dream feed? What does a typical night look like? Does your DH prefer going to bed at a later time or would he rather go to bed sooner?</p> <p>ETA: for the first 4 months what we did was I would go get my LO and nurse him in bed anytime he woke and then DH would put him back to bed...so we were both up but it was nice to not have to get out of bed a second time. We had 1-2 feeds at that time. Once we were down to 1 consistently then i handled all nightfeeds, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/suggestions-for-how-to-handle-night-feedings#post-299338 Tue, 18 Sep 2012 07:47:37 +0000 Goldilocks1107 299338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the past month, we've been handling LO's night feedings as follows:<br /> I go to bed between 8-9pm. DH plans to feed LO before he goes to bed (usually between 9-10pm). If LO wakes up between the time DH goes to bed and 3am, I get up and feed her. If she wakes up between 3-6am, DH feeds her so I can get a little more sleep before waking up at 5:15 for work. It also gives me time to get ready for work so I can get her dressed for daycare.</p> <p>Last night, LO woke up at 3:30am. DH says it's "my turn." I look at the clock and tell him what time it is. His response? "So?" I don't get up. He reluctantly gets out of bed saying "it's not fair he has to feed her at night and in the morning." WHAT?!? I woke up with her the night before at 1:45am . . . </p> <p>We're talking about adjusting our routine tonight and I thought I would gather your ideas on how to change our routine.</p> <p>I'm wondering if the sticking point is he's not waking her up 30+ minutes before he plans on going to bed, so he's staying up later than he wants so he can feed her.</p> <p>Below are my proposals - vote, or provide your own ideas!<br /> (Note, I need to be at work by 7am, DH needs to drop her off at daycare by 7:30am to be at work by 8am. Daycare is 10 minutes from our house) </p>