https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 10:03:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-615923 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:54:41 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 615923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: If only they hadn't paid her to do the carrying. Gets a little more murky! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-615802 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:19:23 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 615802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: you'd think so! right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-615779 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:12:00 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 615779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anbanan15: As someone who cares for these kids after they are born, I think that if parents want to terminate in the face of long odds, diminished capacity and suffering that it should be well within their right. </p> <p>Obviously, this is not a cut and dry case... but until you've been on this side of it and seen all the torture we inflict on these babies just to buy them a short amount of suffering filled "life", it's just hard to fathom forcing a family to take that on.</p> <p>But their are no real winners in this case, unfortunately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-615263 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:19:23 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 615263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought the whole pro-choice argument was that women should have control over their own bodies. The fetus was still a part of her body whether it was conceived by sex, IVF, or a turkey baster--a donor's sperm or her boyfriend's, it doesn't matter. It's her body.</p> <p>If the parents didn't want to raise a child who had medical issues, whatever...that's their choice. Give up your parental rights and let the surrogate make the choices for the child. End of story. But to fight for parental rights just so you can hand the baby over to the state? That's just cruel. There was no reason for this situation to become litigious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-615239 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:11:48 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 615239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg. I side with the surrogate one hundred percent. The mindset of the biological "parent" completely baffles me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-615165 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:53:12 +0000 Foodnerd81 615165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just read this last night-- it's a such a sad story all around. But I agree that the start of the problem was with such a vague abortion clause. It sounds like both parties knew more specifically where they stood on the issue before they even got involved, so if they had spelled it out more the whole situation could have been avoided. It also does sound like the surrogate was a little desperate for cash and maybe would have glossed over her real feelings, assuming it was unlikely to come up anyway.</p> <p>I can really see both sides to the story, and I think both sides were not as forthcoming as they should have been for something so incredibly personal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-615054 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:19:20 +0000 googly-eyes 615054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Aww, I know how you feel. The night before mine I was in a grad school class where by some coincidence, the topic of m/c came up and this girl started telling everyone about her friend who m/c around 20w... :(</p> <p>This story is so sad, all around. I don't know who I side with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-614759 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:16:18 +0000 KissMeCait 614759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From what I gathered from the article, "Kelley" signed a contract with a termination clause. Seems to me like she was in breach of that contract. Then she turns around and tries to extort money from this couple in order to follow through with the termination. Someone who is adamantly against abortion, wouldn't have one under any circumstances but that doesn't appear to be the case here. Clearly $15K was her magic number. </p> <p>I agree that it's a sad situation all around and I'm glad that it somewhat worked out in the end but I personally side with the biological parents/father. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-614548 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:33:00 +0000 MsLipGloss 614548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-614541 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:31:35 +0000 T-Mom 614541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just heard the surrogate answer questions on BBC's "World Have Your Say" program while on my lunch break. She sounded like a reasonable woman who was just trying to do the right thing. I feel for her to be in that position and make a tough choice like that. To you point @Revel: they were saying how there really should have been more details in the surrogacy agreement up front. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-614486 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:21:21 +0000 mrskc 614486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, such a heartbreaking story. I can see both sides. I side slightly with the surrogate since I don't believe anyone should be forced to have an abortion even if it's not her baby. I can't believe she turned around and asked for 15k tho. And I can't believe they kept it a secret that it wasn't the mom's egg. That story just kept getting more and more complicated. At least the little girl is in a loving home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613920 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:39:24 +0000 mamimami 613920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hard to see the photo of the baby and say she should have been aborted. I'm glad she found parents who love her for who she is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613875 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:25:54 +0000 T.H.O.U. 613875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the surrogate here. I think the family should have just dropped their rights and let the birth mom be. Especially since it wasn't even the mom's egg. Call it a sperm donation and move on with your life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613861 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:22:31 +0000 Revel 613861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely can see both sides of this, and feel like it was a terrible situation for all involved. As a lawyer, what jumps out at me is that you need a surrogacy agreement that is drafted with more specificity! I understand that all possible contingencies can't be planned for, but perhaps an agreement as to the time that an abortion could be performed (i.e., not after 13 weeks), and specific medical problems that would trigger an obligation to terminate. Then, like @blackbird: said, at least you could be more assured that the matched parties shared the same values. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613813 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:04:15 +0000 crabbabs 613813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is such a heartbreaking story - complicated and emotional. But we also have to remember that we are only hearing the surrogate's side of the story. No one else commented. It makes me wonder why she even shared this story in the first place. Perhaps she wanted to “warn” others that could find themselves in this situation, but something seems off to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613767 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:53:03 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 613767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read the article last night and I was torn, but ultimately sided with the surrogate not have the elective abortion. The bio parents should have had to relinquish their parental rights. The adoptive family is very generous allowing the bio dad contaxt with their daughter.</p> <p>I don't fault the bio family for wanting to terminate the pregnancy.or saying they did not want to raise their daughter. The situation is just so.much.more complicated by using spmeone else's.womb. Scary to think what a judge would have decided if it went to trial and the validity of the contract was on trial. Forced abortions are not good for society. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613745 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:49:56 +0000 blackbird 613745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@belugabean, I got the impression from the article that the big reason she was doing surrogacy was that she needed the 20K fee, anyways. </p> <p>I also thought it was weird that now the parents are still in contact with the adoptive family. Although...from their perspective, 2 out of their 3 kids have had health problems, so I don't think they were just these callous jerks. Seems like they've been down that road before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613642 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:21:01 +0000 BelugaBean 613642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I must have skimmed over that part while LO was waking up. That's interesting though that she asked for more money. You would hope it wasn't about the amount of money but about what she really believed was best but I guess we won't ever know which is the truth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613605 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:07:37 +0000 yoursilverlining 613605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sad story all around. I wonder though what would have happened if the parents offered the surrogate the 15k she admits asking them for in exchange for having an abortion. It’s easy for her to say now (to the media) that no matter what they offered she would have turned them down, but who knows what would have actually happened if they had said “ok” from the start. Just seems like the story is sort of set to paint the parents in a poor light when both sides apparently argued about what the appropriate payment for an abortion would be. </p> <p>I feel for both sides; but I guess I side with the parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613601 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:06:11 +0000 Modern Daisy 613601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, what a horrible story. Of course we don't know all the details, but I have to side with the parents honestly. As tough as it was to find out the baby had such horrible health problems and make the decision to have an abortion - they also had to deal with a surrogate who violated her contract and put them through even more pain and suffering. </p> <p>I don't think anyone should become a surrogate who isn't prepared to have an abortion if there are severe birth defects discovered and that's what the parents decide. If you are pro-life, you should at least be upfront about that when signing the contract and make sure you're paired up with pro-life parents. In this case I don't think the surrogate gave it enough thought ahead of time and just signed quickly because she needed the money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613544 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:45:44 +0000 BelugaBean 613544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: I do agree that they continued to take it too far. I can see both sides and opinions as valid but they did just keep going with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613538 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:42:28 +0000 MrsBrewer 613538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What I think is the worst part of this situation, is that since the biological parents (Really just the father) is still in contact with the adoptive family. What if this child refeats the odds, and is able to live a happy life?! She goes back and sees this article, what will she think of her biological parents then?....Just sad.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613517 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:37:06 +0000 anbanan15 613517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: I couldn't agree more. I also think they deceived the surrogate by allowing her to believe the eggs were coming from the wife. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613492 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:26:17 +0000 Maysprout 613492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the parents are disgusting, I can't imagine treating someone like that who's carrying my child, there are many other options those parents had if they disagreed with their surrogates choice other than to become bullies.</p> <p>I'm pro-choice for a woman's body and that includes even if someone else pays you to be a surrogate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613486 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:25:05 +0000 Anagram 613486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG. Worst article ever to read on the day of my 20 week anatomy scan! This article is totally heartbreaking---totally, completely awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613443 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:05:14 +0000 Bookish 613443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read this yesterday and was very sad for all involved. I can see both sides of the issue, and it just seems like a big mess. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613439 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 09:03:38 +0000 anbanan15 613439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who personally knows children born with similar abnormalities and are defying the odds stacked against them I am on the side of the surrogate. I know this article did address that the babies medical conditions were more extensive than the u/s stated however, that is not always the case...sometimes u/s are wrong. </p> <p>I think the most important part of the article was a statement made about how the adoptive parents perceive their child:</p> <p>"They see a little girl who's defied the odds, who constantly surprises her doctors with what she's able to do"</p> <p>If she was aborted she would have never been given the chance to defy those odds and to prove doctors wrong. Medicine has given us so many things as it has evolved but it has not given us the ability to predict the future with absolute certainty...only to estimate with percentages. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613381 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:12:59 +0000 BelugaBean 613381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: It said that abortion due to extreme medical problems was in their contract but that it never spelled out what that meant and that the two sides disagreed on the medical issues being extreme enough to abort. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613375 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:06:42 +0000 blackbird 613375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always thought "would you abort due to medical issues" was a question that they asked surrogates...so that they didn't have these legal issues? This way parents are matched up with surrogates who have the same beliefs? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/surrogate-offered-10k-to-abort-baby-but-refuses#post-613373 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:04:55 +0000 Happygal 613373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BelugaBean: really interesting! With this situation, I have no idea how I feel about it! I hope others chime in so we can hear their thoughts. All together, it's a sad story. </p>