https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 20:58:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2887850 Fri, 14 Jun 2019 10:24:18 +0000 graceandjoy 2887850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SteelerGirl: That's great!!! So glad they were understanding and eager to help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2887848 Fri, 14 Jun 2019 10:21:14 +0000 SteelerGirl 2887848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: I discussed it with my in-laws (who were parents of the bride and therefore doing most of the planning and paying). I basically insisted that was the only possibility or I wouldn't be able to attend. </p> <p>They were generous enough to find and pay for THREE babysitters (two on site for the infants, and one off site for our 2 year old). They paid for an extra 2 hours so I would have help while getting the children and myself dressed and ready for photos (my husband was busy as a groomsman). They also paid for a private car to transport me, my two kids, and two babysitters from the hotel to the wedding venue for photos, and be there to take me and the baby back to the hotel after the reception whenever I chose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2887840 Fri, 14 Jun 2019 09:08:41 +0000 graceandjoy 2887840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SteelerGirl: So glad it worked out! I am wondering, who took the initiative for this? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2887735 Thu, 13 Jun 2019 10:43:36 +0000 SteelerGirl 2887735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: Wedding was last weekend and we had two teenage girls on site to watch both infants. It worked out so well! We had a blast and the babies were tucked away in a room upstairs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875702 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 21:46:33 +0000 azaela 2875702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would send your husband without you if it's going to be a problem. We had an onsite babysitter (relative of the children) at our wedding for a 3 month old and older siblings. We also attended a wedding out of town with a 4 month old and used a hotel room for nursing but otherwise he was present at the wedding. How would you even find a babysitter you trust so far from home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875696 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 21:19:47 +0000 ElbieKay 2875696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No kids is one thing. No nurslings is another. I would push back or just not go. Too exhausting. Not worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875656 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 17:16:37 +0000 SteelerGirl 2875656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for your perspectives! You've given me a few things to think about. </p> <p>I think I will have a really honest conversation with her and I'm sure she will understand. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she just doesn't understand the full extent of what she's asking, and when she does she will agree that having an on-site babysitter is a great compromise.</p> <p>The wedding is at a country club, so I think there's actually a kids play room on site. And I totally agree with all of you who said I wouldn't be a bridesmaid if she couldn't accommodate me. Unfortunately, I'm family which means I don't even have a choice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875634 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 16:02:55 +0000 Foodnerd81 2875634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a 4 week old and a 4 month old are entirely different. No way could I have attended a wedding with or without my 4 week old. I definitely couldn’t have been a bridesmaid. </p> <p>For you, with the 4 month old, If it was my wedding I would definitely try to accommodate you. But I also know lots of people who would think it’s no problem at all to just give the baby a bottle. And I know a lot of people- including two of my sisters, who wouldn’t want a nursing baby at their wedding. </p> <p>How far is the wedding from the hotel? What kind of venue is it? Honestly most wedding venues I’ve been to wouldn’t have a special room where a babysitter could watch the baby. And how long is the wedding? I wouldn’t like it, but I don’t think having to pump once during the wedding is unreasonable. I went to a wedding when my younger one was 4 months old, left the kids at the hotel with my parents, and we went to the ceremony, came back and I fed the baby, then I pumped when I got back- I had left my manual pump in the car just in case but I was ok waiting. It wasnt comfortable or ideal, but it wasn’t awful and the wedding reception was only like 4 hours or so. My baby hardly took a bottle so it really wasn’t a great experience overall but it was for a really good friend’s wedding so I made it work as best I could. </p> <p>But that situation only worked because the wedding wasn’t that far from my parents so they were able to come- I don’t think I’d have been comfortable with a regular babysitter, and I wasn’t needed all day. For just the length of the reception it was ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875587 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 13:43:11 +0000 Sams Mom 2875587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Umm no.</p> <p>One of my best friends had a 6 week old baby and was in my bridal party. A family friend (which happened to be my MOH's MIL) came to the wedding to hold and watch the baby through the ceremony and pictures (had to take a nursing break for the bridesmaids pictures). My friend traded off holding with the family friend though the reception, and my friend used the bridal suite to nurse in. </p> <p>I took my son to a no kids wedding when he was about 4 months old. We asked the bride and she laughed and said non mobile babies don't count as kids, and was appalled that we thought she meant he couldn't come. </p> <p>I would also tell my SIL in a lot of not nice terms what an idiot she's being and bad friend she's being to a friend with such a tiny baby. I'm not saying you should do that, but you should advocate for the bridesmaid. 🤷🏼‍♀️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875580 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 13:25:25 +0000 ALV91711 2875580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is talk to her. At 4 months and 4 weeks I’d want my baby there. Honestly if I was the bridesmaid with a 4 week old I wouldn’t be up to being in a wedding. If you weeent traveling I’d think it isn’t as big of a deal but since you are traveling that is a bunch of extra stuff to bring. Let her know if your baby is crying/fussy you will step out so you don’t disrupt anything. I’d advocate for the bridesmaid as well as yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875559 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 12:09:43 +0000 LCTBQE 2875559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bees_knees: @bhbee: yep totally agree</p> <p>My nephew was the only baby/kid at our small wedding 4 years ago, he was only 7 weeks old at the time! My brother and SIL flew from Texas to nyc and I was touched that they even came. I remember being kind of nervous he’d start crying during the vows and sure enough he did, but my sil discreetly ran out with him and it was fine. he was there for before/after that and it was super sweet, everyone was fawning over him—it’s a nice memory. The on site babysitter idea is so totally reasonable. Like pp’s said, anyone who wants to throw it down that kids are unwelcome has every right to do so—but so do you to bow out without feeling guilty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875542 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 11:13:18 +0000 JennyPenny 2875542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that a sitter onsite is not an unreasonable request - especially since the two of you could "share" the sitter. I've recently been to a wedding where no-kids didn't apply to small nursing babies, and one where there were no exceptions. And at the latter there were several new moms not in attendance (I mean we're all in our early 30s, what did you think!?) and it meant that there was a lot of discussion of the insensitivity of the grooms on this issue that put a damper on the wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875541 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 11:13:09 +0000 annem1990 2875541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is tricky. The bride and groom have every right to say no kids at the wedding. It can open up a can of worms for other guests and sometimes you just have to make a blanket statement. I also would not bring the other bridesmaid into your discussions. She may feel ganged up on and that she’s losing her bridal party. Let the other woman make her own decisions. </p> <p>But, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to tell her your needs. Either you need a babysitter on site, or you cannot be a bridesmaid. Don’t make it sound like an ultimatum. Try and come up with solutions together. </p> <p>I EP’d until my son was 9 months, so take this with a grain of salt, but I’ve literally pumped in every location imaginable. Airports, cars, parties, etc. Is it ideal? No. But I did what I had to do. I think I would be slightly annoyed as the bride if you didn’t consider this option, especially since the baby will be plenty old that a bottle shouldn’t interfere with nursing. You could talk to the caterers/venue and see if you could use their fridge/sink. At least show her you want to TRY to make it work. If she’s not helpful in getting you in touch with these people, then maybe you’ll just have to back out. Or maybe she’ll be on board with the on-site babysitter after all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875531 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 10:56:02 +0000 psw27 2875531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're not a fan or pumping or don't want to deal with the logistics of pumping I would find a way to have a babysitter on site with your 4 month old. A 4 week old will definitely need to eat and be close to mom, that's crazy to me. I agree with @bees_knees - I would step out of the bridal party if it was too challenging and not being accommodated in a reasonable way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875524 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 10:45:36 +0000 bees_knees 2875524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If someone asked me not to have my 4 week old at the wedding, I would just excuse myself from the bridal party. 🙄 I would insist for an on site sitter AT LEAST. (ETA: an on site sitter for a 4 month old. I don’t think I’d even be comfortable with that for my newborn)</p> <p>I think it’s fine to request no kids at your wedding, but then don’t be offended if people say that can’t make that work 🤷🏻‍♀️ Wedding party included. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875507 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 10:24:44 +0000 bhbee 2875507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a bridesmaid with a 6mo at my wedding and we did the babysitter thing. She must have come to the church service and then I remember we found a side room at the reception for her to hang out. I would push for that for yourself and the other bridesmaid, the bride may not understand what it’s like to have a little baby but she needs to figure it out! The pumping logistics would be a nightmare and even if the bridesmaid was pumping she’ll need a place where she can basically undress, I would imagine the dress won’t be nursing friendly. </p> <p>So no in my opinion not off base at all! Also I remember seeing pics of someone taking a baby to a wedding in a raw silk (or something) ring sling to match the fancy dress! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875497 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 10:08:03 +0000 DesertDreams88 2875497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You should advocate for yourself and the other bridesmaid. Help your sister-in-law understand. Just because it's "their day" doesn't mean that they should drastically inconvenience some of the most important wedding guests, IMHO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/taking-a-nursing-baby-to-a-wedding#post-2875494 Fri, 08 Mar 2019 10:04:36 +0000 SteelerGirl 2875494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister-in-law is getting married when my baby will be four months old. Me and my husband are the only ones in the family with kids, and this is our second child (big sister is 2.5). My husband is a groomsman in the wedding. Oh, and we are also flying in from out of town and staying at a hotel for the wedding.</p> <p>So here's my question: Am I way off base to insist that my baby be at the wedding so I can nurse him? My in-laws want to have the kids with babysitters for the day (other than for family photos). I'm fine with our 2.5 yr old being gone all day, but I told them the best I could do is have the baby with an on-site babysitter in another room so I could go nurse him. </p> <p>I guess I could pump, but then I would have to pack a pump and extra milk with me in my luggage, take it to the wedding, find a place to pump and wash the parts, carry a cooler bag with an ice pack and my milk around, and then pack my milk to bring it home. </p> <p>Also, one of the bridesmaids will have a 4 week old baby at the same wedding and is struggling with the same problem. The bride is asking her not to have the baby at the wedding. At 4 weeks old! I feel so bad for her. </p>