https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 02:55:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742808 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:33:12 +0000 Lately 742808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can totally relate to this, except my closest friend is vehemently anti-children. She calls me up and complains about one of her friends who has a kid, and then implores me to never have children. One time she softened and instead of telling me how disappointed she would be if I became pregnant, she asked me to give her a heads up when we start trying so she has time to adjust to the idea. (We were already trying. I didn't tell her. I didn't want to deal with any insensitive comments or questions.)</p> <p>There are couples with kids in my larger social circle, but we don't have much regular interaction with them. I rely on forums like this one for the nitty gritty of TTC and pregnancy, and I'm finding it's quite comfortable to share freely with that anonymity and distance.</p> <p>I may take advantage of my pregnancy to strengthen my ties with friends/acquaintances who have kids or babies, but I really don't feel like I'm missing out by not sharing with my closest friend because I know there's nothing to gain there. Yeah I'm disappointed, but there's no sense pushing the issue.</p> <p>Besides, I'm looking forward to the new social connections that will come with parenthood! It's been a while since I've been in a position to expand my social circle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742281 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:10:14 +0000 Pirouette 742281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: I haven't announced yet, but i know that most of my friends will have zero interest, because almost none of my friends are at that stage yet. So my plan is to try as hard as possible to keep up with what is going on in their lives and try not to make my pregnancy out to be a huge deal to them. but I also know that we will grow apart once i have a LO, because it's sort of inevitable at this point. and, like you, i feel i need to find new friends who are in my stage of life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742277 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:09:48 +0000 heffalump 742277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was the first of my friends to get pregnant. I just wouldn't talk about anything unless asked. I felt like if they wanted to know or talk about it, they would ask, and if not I kept my mouth shut. I still do that now that LO is here, I only talk about her if asked about her to people who don't have kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742271 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:09:01 +0000 illumina 742271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: It's not true :) It's funny, because I think DH actually has a better support group than me! He's working on site for a client the past 6mths and has got to know a lot of guys there who are relatively new Dads, it's been really good for him and they actually have given him pretty useful advice (well the stuff he's shared with me anyway!). You always have us here at HB *hug* :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742188 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:56:09 +0000 Bookish 742188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: @Grace: I think these are great rules to go by. I'll try to change to doing it this way, because @Rubies: is right, do I really want fake sympathy, or to drive her bananas? Nope. She probably has been driven bananas already, but I can at least do better from now on! </p> <p>@illumina: Nah, it's helpful to know I'm not the only one that is dealing with this! I feel like I'm the only one without a good support net, but I know that's not true. Thank goodness for HB!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742080 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:34:30 +0000 Rubies 742080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My BFF is that way...Just not at all interested in hearing about what I'm going through and I just acccept it. It makes me a little sad and sometimes mad but what can I do? Do I really want advice/fake support from someone who doesn't care?</p> <p>I just turn to people who DO care, even if it's just DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742074 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:32:28 +0000 Grace 742074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wait until I'm asked. Pregnancy is such an all-comsuming thing (at least for me), that I think it would be so easy to drive that person bananas. I know it's happened to me when my friends were pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742062 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:29:18 +0000 illumina 742062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: I'm in a similar situation. I'm not particularly close with SIL who has children, I don't speak that much about it with my Mum, my Sister is not interested in having children and whilst she tries to ask me things and does let me talk a little about babies, I know she's not really fussed. I only have one close friend who has children and whilst we talk on FB often she lives a few hours away and I don't get to see her that much. My other friends are like my Sister, they are happy and interested enough about it for my sake but I still feel like they would be happier not hearing about it. </p> <p>HB has been great for me so far, but I wish I had more real life friends to share my pregnancy with.</p> <p>Sorry, I realise this isn't very helpful!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742036 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:21:46 +0000 2PeasinaPod 742036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a rule of thumb...if the person didn't have kids or was CBC, I usually avoided the gory details. If they asked about pregnancy or how I was feeling, I told them...otherwise, I avoided talking about it.</p> <p>I confided more in my friends who were already moms and could commiserate with me on my aches/pains/worries. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/talking-about-your-pregnancy-with-friends-how-to-balance-tmi-with-support#post-742020 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:16:44 +0000 Bookish 742020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a good friend who just does not want to hear about pregnancy related things. About 8 out of 10 times when I say something related to the baby, planning, pregnancy, my concerns, or the like, she just ignores it or makes non-committal response noises. She is very much child-free by choice and has no interest in babies, and so I try not to bring it up too often around her. </p> <p>Problem is, she is one of my closest friends, and I could really use her support and/or empathy with some things, because I really don't have a lot of people to talk to about these things other than DH. My mom is pretty absent, my sisters are too young too really want to hear about it (I get a lot of 'eews,' even for normal stuff lol!), and so really, I only have a few girlfriends to turn to.</p> <p>So, if you had a close friend who just was not into hearing about your pregnancy, how did you deal? Did you just accept that it's the way she is and she just won't be the most supportive, there for you friend during it, or what? Like I said, I do try to tone it down around her because I know she isn't pro-baby, but should I ratchet it down even more? </p> <p>Le sigh. I need to find friends in my stage of life, but it's hard :( </p>